Women cancelling after the confirmation?

[Knight of Roses]

My style is I usually like to build some rapport via person or text until a set time and date for the first meet up is established. If the first date is within 3-4 days, I do not text the girl until the day of to confirm. If its more than 4 days, I'll throw a mid-week text to just catch up/ see how week is going.

I usually send a text on day of the date to confirm, typically in late morning or so. This is what I've always done, and most of the women I've platted have fit into this mold. However, recently I'm noticing quite a bit of flakes; and we all know flakes happen, its part of the game. But these flakes are occurring AFTER the woman confirms with me..LoL. I'll get a second text a few hours before the set time with an excuse.

Anyone else seen this type of pattern?

 

[wifehunter]

Comfirming is needy behavior and a turnoff.

DJ's don't need confirmations.

 

[Knight of Roses]

Comfirming is needy behavior and a turnoff.

DJ's don't need confirmations.

So what do you recommend? Have a back up plan (Plate or friends) ready and just roll to the venue at the set time? See what happens?

 

[wifehunter]

So what do you recommend? Have a back up plan (Plate or friends) ready and just roll to the venue at the set time? See what happens?

Yes

 

[Trump]

My style is I usually like to build some rapport via person or text until a set time and date for the first meet up is established. If the first date is within 3-4 days, I do not text the girl until the day of to confirm. If its more than 4 days, I'll throw a mid-week text to just catch up/ see how week is going.

I usually send a text on day of the date to confirm, typically in late morning or so. This is what I've always done, and most of the women I've platted have fit into this mold. However, recently I'm noticing quite a bit of flakes; and we all know flakes happen, its part of the game. But these flakes are occurring AFTER the woman confirms with me..LoL. I'll get a second text a few hours before the set time with an excuse.

I would definitely confirm. You don’t want to waste your time.

 

[flowtheory]

Wether you confirm or she does, doesn’t matter much. I usually do not confirm personally and have always had them reach out, but I see the other side of the coin that you don’t want to go to a venue and not have her show up. Both peoples interest begins the second you meet; not before, in my mind (If meeting from OLD)

 

[marmel75]

Going ghost til the day of the date is just idiotic and counter productive. But the people who dont actually go on many dates will tell you its what you should do. SMFH

 

[Knight of Roses]

Going ghost til the day of the date is just idiotic and counter productive. But the people who dont actually go on many dates will tell you its what you should do. SMFH

What do you mean? You prefer to engage in texting up until the date? I use to do that as well before however I felt I had more flakes in that routine.

 

[EyeBRollin]

So what do you recommend? Have a back up plan (Plate or friends) ready and just roll to the venue at the set time? See what happens?

Let me ask you this:

Why would a man ever need to confirm what he said he would do?

That’s WEAK.

If she doesn’t show up that’s on her. Texting to confirm actually makes you less likely to get the date. All to save your ego.

If you want to avoid being stood up, schedule yourself to be in 2 or 3 dates at the same time. Then go out with the first one to text you to confirm. (When she does it, she’s showing up).

 

[EyeBRollin]

Going ghost til the day of the date is just idiotic and counter productive. But the people who dont actually go on many dates will tell you its what you should do. SMFH

I do it every week. Scheduled 7 dates today, confirmed with none of them. Had 3 dates confirm with me and show up. If you’re expecting every “date” to happen you’re in for disappointment.

For the 4 that didn’t show up, why should I care?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Anyone else seen this type of pattern?

AMS discussed the following. In either case, the assumption is bpd, attention *****, low interest, games, etc. Obv, the solution to this problem and everything women related is #nextSet #next

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

What do you mean? You prefer to engage in texting up until the date? I use to do that as well before however I felt I had more flakes in that routine.

Too much text lowers interest. None is unforgettable. Purpose is key.

If a woman is a waste of time, even a bit dodgy, i will next her. As in, number delete, #nextSet and she can hit me up.

 

[marmel75]

What do you mean? You prefer to engage in texting up until the date? I use to do that as well before however I felt I had more flakes in that routine.

A text or two a day works well for me. Sometimes one every other day. Depends how far the date is away.

And of course cue the people who thinks this means texting 24/7. Some people dont get the concept that there are other options than texting 24/7 or not texting at all.

Going ghost never worked well for me. Therefore from my experiences I wouldnt recommend it. Others may be able to pull it off. Do what works for you.

 

[marmel75]

I do it every week. Scheduled 7 dates today, confirmed with none of them. Had 3 dates confirm with me and show up. If you’re expecting every “date” to happen you’re in for disappointment.

For the 4 that didn’t show up, why should I care?

I've scheduled multiple dates on the same night before but never 7. That might be a new record.

Dont expect every date to happen but I also know that its not that hard to dramatically lower your flake rate for most guys. As my goal was to get them to show up because I do much better in person, any boost to this is a win for me.

I developed a method that worked well for me. You developed a method that worked well for you. Most guys have no method and just approach this randomly which lowers their success rate in the end. At the end of the day they need to figure out what works better for them, as I did and as you did.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I've scheduled multiple dates on the same night before but never 7. That might be a new record.

Dont expect every date to happen but I also know that its not that hard to dramatically lower your flake rate for most guys. As my goal was to get them to show up because I do much better in person, any boost to this is a win for me.

I developed a method that worked well for me. You developed a method that worked well for you. Most guys have no method and just approach this randomly which lowers their success rate in the end. At the end of the day they need to figure out what works better for them, as I did and as you did.

I really don’t think there’s anything that can be done to improve first date flake rates from online dating. They’re either open to meeting or not.

Obviously it’s different in day / night game.

 

[Ranger]

What do you mean? You prefer to engage in texting up until the date? I use to do that as well before however I felt I had more flakes in that routine.

I do sometimes. Sure. We are just talking. Not like the world is hinging on anything.
Forget the PUA stuff. At the same time if you find yourself thinking about her or it a lot, then no. I wouldn’t text.

 

[Spaz]

What do you mean? You prefer to engage in texting up until the date? I use to do that as well before however I felt I had more flakes in that routine.

Ur flakes detected something they didn't like in those moments when u r unguarded while texting - in that moment (where u r not trying to impress them) those words spoken in ur texts speaks volumes of ur true personality and character.

Your inner self was exposed. That's why.

Otherwise texting by itself is not an issue.

You can text 1000 words and if u r impressive, she'll eat it all up and be turned on.

 

[Ranger]

You can text 1000 words and if u r impressive, she'll eat it all up and be turned on.

You said it better than I did.

 

[Glassguy]

Text pattern doesnt matter in dealing with a flake as long as you arent blowing her phone up and acting needy and thirsty. If she has what she thinks is a better offer pop up she will flake. It doesnt matter if you texted her twice a day or none.

Pro tip: if she has high enough interest that she will show up for the date you will hear from her in between setting the date up and the actual date. High interest = she will be reaching out and initiating and you wont be doing all of the work.

 

[sazc]

I developed a method that worked well for me. You developed a method that worked well for you.

BINGO!
you guys tend to want to engage in discussions to find the 'perfect algorithm' for a behavior.

What you seem to fail to absorb is that each one is you ARE attracting a different TYPE of woman. This type is based on who you are, what you attract, and the dynamics if your childhood.

The only real discussion is to allow everyone to disclose their pre date texting style without challenging anyone and telling them "you are wrong".

As has been correctly suggested, the reader then needs to absorb the information and TEST what works for him - because (most likely) he's working with a different type of female.

There is no one size fits all solution, there never will be.

Sometimes the bickering here can get just ridiculous

Carry on