Need some help and advice

[Ranger]

As you listen to the book, if you hang up on something, start a new thread.

 

[Captain Canada]

Open the app. Pick library

I did nothing there

 

[Ranger]

I have no idea then. It’s pretty simple.
Call the support number

 

[Atom Smasher]

I hear you so then I should just take this relationship as a kick in the nuts and lick my wounds...

If you've been kicked in the nuts, I strongly advise against licking your wounds! That's gonna be very bad for the back...

The mistake you made was completely giving yourself over to her and removed all mystery. For a woman, a lot of the excitement of falling in love is being unsure and wondering if the guy really likes her or not. This makes no sense to us men, but the mysteriousness of the male is the fuel of drama and excitement upon which she thrives.

For her it was like going to a great new movie and just as she sits down in her seat, someone comes up to her and tells her exactly what happens and how it ends. There's no more anticipation, and the tension is completely released. At that point, there is no chance for recovery of the relationship.

Remember that women love mystery; they love wondering about the commitment level of a man, and in fact, they only fall in love when you are physically apart. When apart, a woman lets her mind go free and she talks herself into loving you. That's why you need to give them plenty of breathing room. To us, that breathing room can make us a bit tense. But in fact, during that time she is literally falling in love.

This one is almost certainly unrecoverable. Next time, dish our your affection slowly and sparingly, never fully releasing the tension in her that keeps her interested. Women need to work for your affection. Once she realizes she has you in the bag, it's game over.

Never be an open book. Instead, feed her one page at a time.

 

[Ranger]

If you've been kicked in the nuts, I strongly advise against licking your wounds! That's gonna be very bad for the back...

The mistake you made was completely giving yourself over to her and removed all mystery. For a woman, a lot of the excitement of falling in love is being unsure and wondering if the guy really likes her or not. This makes no sense to us men, but the mysteriousness of the male is the fuel of drama and excitement upon which she thrives.

For her it was like going to a great new movie and just as she sits down in her seat, someone comes up to her and tells her exactly what happens and how it ends. There's no more anticipation, and the tension is completely released. At that point, there is no chance for recovery of the relationship.

Remember that women love mystery; they love wondering about the commitment level of a man, and in fact, they only fall in love when you are physically apart. When apart, a woman lets her mind go free and she talks herself into loving you. That's why you need to give them plenty of breathing room. To us, that breathing room can make us a bit tense. But in fact, during that time she is literally falling in love.

This one is almost certainly unrecoverable. Next time, dish our your affection slowly and sparingly, never fully releasing the tension in her that keeps her interested. Women need to work for your affection. Once she realizes she has you in the bag, it's game over.

Never be an open book. Instead, feed her one page at a time.

Rules to live by.

 

[Captain Canada]

If you've been kicked in the nuts, I strongly advise against licking your wounds! That's gonna be very bad for the back...

The mistake you made was completely giving yourself over to her and removed all mystery. For a woman, a lot of the excitement of falling in love is being unsure and wondering if the guy really likes her or not. This makes no sense to us men, but the mysteriousness of the male is the fuel of drama and excitement upon which she thrives.

For her it was like going to a great new movie and just as she sits down in her seat, someone comes up to her and tells her exactly what happens and how it ends. There's no more anticipation, and the tension is completely released. At that point, there is no chance for recovery of the relationship.

Remember that women love mystery; they love wondering about the commitment level of a man, and in fact, they only fall in love when you are physically apart. When apart, a woman lets her mind go free and she talks herself into loving you. That's why you need to give them plenty of breathing room. To us, that breathing room can make us a bit tense. But in fact, during that time she is literally falling in love.

This one is almost certainly unrecoverable. Next time, dish our your affection slowly and sparingly, never fully releasing the tension in her that keeps her interested. Women need to work for your affection. Once she realizes she has you in the bag, it's game over.

Never be an open book. Instead, feed her one page at a time.

You are so right... I did everything that you mentioned ... I think I am in bigger trouble now because I am being referred to a mental clinic and once I can eat food going on anti-depression pills. I am sub zero and can’t get her out of mind.. I think what happened to me is a result of child abuse and being in a loveless marriage for 15 years.

I literally feel like I am in drug withdrawal right now..

I keep going back and thinking about my mistakes I did to ruin this relationship. How did I fall so hard in 2 months. I honestly feel like I am not going to recover .

 

[Spaz]

Be calm.

When faced with adversity some men either crumble and be its victim or they can choose to reframe it as an opportunity.

 

[AttackFormation]

If you've been kicked in the nuts, I strongly advise against licking your wounds! That's gonna be very bad for the back...

The mistake you made was completely giving yourself over to her and removed all mystery. For a woman, a lot of the excitement of falling in love is being unsure and wondering if the guy really likes her or not. This makes no sense to us men, but the mysteriousness of the male is the fuel of drama and excitement upon which she thrives.

For her it was like going to a great new movie and just as she sits down in her seat, someone comes up to her and tells her exactly what happens and how it ends. There's no more anticipation, and the tension is completely released. At that point, there is no chance for recovery of the relationship.

Remember that women love mystery; they love wondering about the commitment level of a man, and in fact, they only fall in love when you are physically apart. When apart, a woman lets her mind go free and she talks herself into loving you. That's why you need to give them plenty of breathing room. To us, that breathing room can make us a bit tense. But in fact, during that time she is literally falling in love.

This one is almost certainly unrecoverable. Next time, dish our your affection slowly and sparingly, never fully releasing the tension in her that keeps her interested. Women need to work for your affection. Once she realizes she has you in the bag, it's game over.

Never be an open book. Instead, feed her one page at a time.

So totally this... women crave exciting mystery, challenge and uncertainty in lovers and predictable, tame stability in providers.

 

[Captain Canada]

Be calm.

When faced with adversity some men either crumble and be its victim or they can choose to reframe it as an opportunity.

What is the opportunity I should be seeing here

Because right now in my depression all I see is.. I had a sexy girl that was crazy about me and I did everything i should not do and lossed her. So I can’t eveb get her and that thought out of my head. What should opportunity should I be thinking , to get better and improve for the next ?

I already fell into the oneites trap. I been loveless for 20 years and when she gave it to me I just broke all the rules. Some of which I knew and was breaking .. my mistake was to get into a girl right after my marriage ended when I was week and I was so needy... right now it’s very difficult for me to not feel or imagine that she was the one and i lossed her.

I know this sounds pathetic and I hate myself for thinking this way. It’s embarrassing. Hopefully I can recover with you guys help and help some one else down the line with this experience.

Right now it’s been 5 days and I feel no better at all which is starting to worry me

 

[AttackFormation]

What is the opportunity I should be seeing here

Because right now in my depression all I see is.. I had a sexy girl that was crazy about me and I did everything i should not do and lossed her. So I can’t eveb get her and that thought out of my head. What should opportunity should I be thinking , to get better and improve for the next ?

I already fell into the oneites trap. I been loveless for 20 years and when she gave it to me I just broke all the rules. Some of which I knew and was breaking .. my mistake was to get into a girl right after my marriage ended when I was week and I was so needy... right now it’s very difficult for me to not feel or imagine that she was the one and i lossed her.

I know this sounds pathetic and I hate myself for thinking this way. It’s embarrassing. Hopefully I can recover with you guys help and help some one else down the line with this experience.

Right now it’s been 5 days and I feel no better at all which is starting to worry me

The only mistake you're committing is thinking this thing was a mistake.

By the way you came from, you had to grow through an experience like this. You're experiencing developmental growing pains. Feel whatever you're feeling, say whatever you want to say... just express it all. There's nothing you need to 'do', because you've already done it.

All you have to do now is make sure you de-stress from the rest of your concerns and take some time off so you can reflect on this, look at this as an experience and not a mistake, and if you have a will to live in you that won't let you give up, your subconscious will take care of the rest.

 

[Captain Canada]

The only mistake you're committing is thinking this thing was a mistake.

By the way you came from, you had to grow through an experience like this. You're experiencing developmental growing pains. Feel whatever you're feeling, say whatever you want to say... just express it all. There's nothing you need to 'do', because you've already done it.

All you have to do now is make sure you de-stress from the rest of your concerns and take some time off so you can reflect on this, look at this as an experience and not a mistake, and if you have a will to live in you that won't let you give up, your subconscious will take care of the rest.

What do you mean nothing I need to do because I already done it

 

[Ranger]

When things are the worst, that’s when you need to be at your best. I do not understand the psych drugs but that’s your call.
Just remember that every time you you run imto things, it’s you that pulls yourself out.
Accept the challenge.
You’re not bleeding profusely. Your legs didn’t get chopped off or blown off. You’re not gut shot.

 

[Spaz]

What is the opportunity I should be seeing here

Because right now in my depression all I see is.. I had a sexy girl that was crazy about me and I did everything i should not do and lossed her. So I can’t eveb get her and that thought out of my head. What should opportunity should I be thinking , to get better and improve for the next ?

I already fell into the oneites trap. I been loveless for 20 years and when she gave it to me I just broke all the rules. Some of which I knew and was breaking .. my mistake was to get into a girl right after my marriage ended when I was week and I was so needy... right now it’s very difficult for me to not feel or imagine that she was the one and i lossed her.

I know this sounds pathetic and I hate myself for thinking this way. It’s embarrassing. Hopefully I can recover with you guys help and help some one else down the line with this experience.

Right now it’s been 5 days and I feel no better at all which is starting to worry me

If i were in ur shoes, the way I look at it, this is the best time to reinvent myself, opportunities like this doesn't come knocking often and I'd be a fool to not grab this chance.

I have lost everything that in the past matters.

Now I can build my frame; my principles - how i think, to affect how I do things, resulting towards what I truly desire.

And every time I don't get the results I wish for I'd take it as an opportunity to strengthen my principles (how I think).

The past must be dismissed from your mind.

It's the future that matters now.

 

[Ranger]

You need to move up into anger. Victim and despair are lower positions.
When you are feeling it real good, go to the gym and beat the crap out of a heavy bag. I mean just unload on it. Spend every bit of that anger on that bag. Hold nothing back. Rage and anger can be very power allies. When used to motivate you forward. Don’t take any sh!t from your distraught mind.

 

[AttackFormation]

What do you mean nothing I need to do because I already done it

It was inevitable that you were going to go through something like this to face your own past and self. And now that you're going through it, you don't need to 'do' anything about it... just go with it and try to reflect on the big picture.

I paid a bunch of money and spent time so I could travel a long way in 2016, to see a girl who switched to go cold on me before we'd even met in person and who stayed cold and brushed me off when she reluctantly met me. I didn't take away that I'd "lost a girl" from that. I took away that this was an experience that my life had led me to, I was going through it, and it was up to me to step back and look at the big picture to absorb something from it. I was not sad that it hadn't worked out, but that I'd given away power over my own life to some woman. Had she lived in my city and behaved like she did and it'd take me 0$ and an hour to get it over with, I would simply have shrugged my shoulders, gone back to my life and it'd be water off a duck's back - but I'd sacrificed time and money to come there to a situation she controlled, given away power over my life, and that was the problem. It wasn't about getting or not getting the girl.

I think you'll eventually come to a conclusion like that yourself, that this is not about her but really about you and that will give you the strength to take up your life.

 

[Ranger]

Discipline of the mind is an acquired skill. You must exercise it. I would listen to Spaz. But it’s almost too difficult if you are stuck in victim and despair. Feel the rage. Harness it. Use it. Turn it loose.

 

[Spaz]

Discipline of the mind is an acquired skill. You must exercise it. I would listen to Spaz. But it’s almost too difficult if you are stuck in victim and despair. Feel the rage. Harness it. Use it. Turn it loose.

You're right. I forgot. When in the throes of despair, that moment just before anyone decides either to negatively or positively change, is one of anger...

Going to the gym or using a punching bag would be a good catalyst towards releasing those emotions.

 

[Ranger]

When in the throes of despair, that moment just before anyone decides either to negatively or positively change, is one of anger...
.

Very powerful. It can turn a man’s life around.

 

[Dr.Suave]

OP forget about this bytch. You lost frame so getting her back would be more trouble than it´s worth. Keep hitting the gym and find new plates. Have fun spinning.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I literally feel like I am in drug withdrawal right now..

I keep going back and thinking about my mistakes I did to ruin this relationship. How did I fall so hard in 2 months. I honestly feel like I am not going to recover .

Precisely. You are in fact going through a drug withdrawal. I have been discussing here for years that when a breakup occurs, the reason for the short period of awful feelings is that an actual drug withdrawal is occurring. You derived certain positive feelings from the dynamics of the relationship, and all of that was triggering off neurotransmitters that gave you a sort of "high". All of a sudden that drug has disappeared, and you are physiologically crashing from its absence. Combine that with your general mindset of lack of abundance, and your feelings are understandable.

You are not really mourning this particular girl (even though it seems like you are), but rather, you are mourning the way she made you feel.

Your relationship has only been for several weeks, and you will be surprised how quickly you will recover from this. Obviously you have issues to work through from your childhood, but you are in the right place to discover new ways of thinking about relationships. Most of us have been in your shoes, and many came here for the very same reasons you came here.

I strongly advise that you click the link in my signature and find the e-book I mention, "Get Over Anyone in 3 to 5 Days". This e-book enabled me to get completely over a breakup within two days. It changed my life permanently, because the author has an uncanny knack of breaking down what exactly is going on in a breakup, and does it in such a way that the reader can't help but feel better and more positive. I am an affiliate for the book, not because I want to make a tiny commission, but rather because this book changes lives and I want as many men as possible to read it and reap the benefits. If you decide to investigate it, be sure to click "Books" on the upper menu bar in order to find it.