Ghosting is Bull****

BreezyB84

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Ive been/was seeing this girl for a little over a month now.. We see each other once/twice a week if time permits. She was cool for the most part and we dont do a lot of texting. As the weeks have gone on, we've gotten progressively closer ( yes physically as well).
This week, she was a little odd with the contact, so I just let her be and let it roll.

She text me Thursday night, " hey handsome, sorry I've been distant lately. My dog went in for a heartworm treatment and I have been stressed out about that. I hope you had a good day."

I text her the next day and ask her about the dog and I ask her if she needs anything from me and she responds with , " just your heart :). "
We make plans the next night for me to bring her dinner so we can keep an eye on the dog because the dog isn't allowed to elevate his heart rate due to excitement, etc..

The next day I hit her up and she responds almost immediately to that text. I then ask her what does she want to eat that night.

No response...... Period. I just figured something had to have come up.

I text her in the middle of the day yesterday just simply, " all good??".
No response.....

Ghosting when you first meet someone is not a big deal to me. Ghosting someone once you've made it seem like you like them and made plans is another thing.

Yes, I'm pissed. Very.
I get all the reasons why women ghost and etc but this is really bull**** because why go out of your way to make it seem like you care or like me?? Why all the affection and words to further things? A woman is to be taken by her actions and no her words right??

I'm really perplexed... that's all I got on this one...
 

marvinlfloresq

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Hey man, "Chill", Asap.
(Whats the dogs name? Hope you know)



You are not doom. Just stop this needy behavior. She can "buy" her own food. "You" have not made it yet, ok? Just chill. Sounds like you made the plans not her.

She will reach out. Stop texting her or calling her.

When she reaches out be unconditional with her ok? I been there. All this "pursuing" scared her. "Stop" it.
Women randomly text me after weeks, with hey "whats" up, how you been ect.

Just Chill. Finally, in a "month", hopefully you had sex already, if not, say hi to the friendzone.......

Either way, just chill.
 
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BreezyB84

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Hey man, "Chill".

**** Asap***

You are not doom. Just stop this needy behavior. She can "buy" her own food. "You" have not made it yet, ok? Just chill.

She will reach out. Stop texting her or calling her.

Be unconstitutional with her ok? I been there. All this "pursuing" scared her. "Stop" it.
Women randomly text me after weeks, with hey "whats" up, how you been ect.

Just Chill.

I'm chill but I have a right to be somewhat upset. She made plans,and broke them with no explanation.

Is that just a little ****ed up?
I deleted her number so there is not much of a point now.
 

marvinlfloresq

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I'm chill but I have a right to be somewhat upset. She made plans,and broke them with no explanation.

Is that just a little ****ed up?
I deleted her number so there is not much of a point now.
Oh boy. You are not exclusive, ok.

This is courtship hopefully. Relax. This is how they operate. Thrust me, if you met her dog and hopefully grabbed her cookies or tried to kiss her, you are good. But too impulsive. Women "want" freedom.

They back away if you pursue too much. Just dont get mad. If she calls/text, make a date, and have fun, and make a move.

You don't hear from her, next her. Its all good. Million women in the world. But, i think she will reach out/text, if you stop all contact.
 

BreezyB84

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This is easy.

There is another guy in the picture, possibly an ex, and she was trying to move on from him. The dog is a convenient excuse.

He had her on the line again so she became distant towards you.....then he ghosted and she apologized to you and gave a lame excuse in an attempt to repair any possible damage between you and her.

Next up, you made plans together and suddenly the ex returned more strongly.....and now you are forgotten about.

You will likely get a message with a lame excuse where she tells you she is not ready and she is sorry, or she may even say her ex is back and she wants to give it a chance. If the guy leaves her dangling again for too long you will get the "sick grandmother" excuse and she will try to re-engage you.

Either way, she is not worth your time for two reasons. She no-showed on a commitment with you, and, whether she comes clean or not, she chose you 2nd.

Move on and find better prospects.
I appreciate this. That is what I was thinking. I will shut this down myself. Thank you
 

Spaz

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Hey man, "Chill", Asap.
(Whats the dogs name? Hope you know)



You are not doom. Just stop this needy behavior. She can "buy" her own food. "You" have not made it yet, ok? Just chill. Sounds like you made the plans not her.

She will reach out. Stop texting her or calling her.

When she reaches out be unconditional with her ok? I been there. All this "pursuing" scared her. "Stop" it.
Women randomly text me after weeks, with hey "whats" up, how you been ect.

Just Chill. Finally, in a "month", hopefully you had sex already, if not, say hi to the friendzone.......

Either way, just chill.
And now we're having Tomboy's giving advices to men lmao
 

sazc

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Meh, she lost interest, plain and simple. Maybe there is another dude, maybe not. Bottom line is, what you were offering wasn't enough for her, so she bounced.

Ghosting sucks, for sure. It would have been better for her to tell you outright she wasn't into this anymore BUT if she did that, she couldn't reach back out eventually.....
 
R

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Either way, she is not worth your time for two reasons. She no-showed on a commitment with you, and, whether she comes clean or not, she chose you 2nd.

Move on and find better prospects.
The only issue I have with this post is the
“She showed no commitment with you”
Otherwise I think this is exactly what’s happening.

This presupposes that the idea is to get single solitary woman to be committed. This is the exact opposite of how you would want him to start thinking.
Which makes sense that he hasn’t escalated. When a woman invites you over to her house, it’s not about a dog. The dog was the opening and he didn’t get it.
In my mind there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that if a woman invites me to her house 1 on 1, it’s about sex.
Your post, which started off spot on. She’s spinning plates. But it ended with the idea of what his frame or what his thinking should be. And it really shouldn’t be.
He didn’t even know that she was giving him an opening.
 
R

Ranger

Guest
When I speak of no-show on a commitment, what I am saying is that they had a date scheduled and she disappeared without communicating or showing up.

That is ALWAYS a dealbreaker.
I wasn’t implying you were incorrect in your assessment at all.
This is just my opinion, but it started off with the frame of “some sort or type of commitment with her. Even if just a sexual commitment.
Then when it fails, it’s the woman’s fault or the stars weren’t aligned properly. Or something outside of his control.
To assume a woman isn’t spinning plates also leads to failure.
When she invited him over and used her dog as the opening....he should have escalated, fukked her and did dirty things to her.
Which is worse, being ghosted or being ghosted after you’ve had your turn and gained experience?
 
R

Ranger

Guest
I hear you and I agree he should have escalated.

However that does not excuse her failure to communicate or to show up afterwards.
.
He was in the wrong frame and still is.
Let’s look at this this way....

What frame would he be in, if he didn’t know she wanted sex when he was invited over? He didn’t perform when he got there.
She weighed her options as a normal person would.
Now he doesn’t fit her needs.
What is wrong with this frame and how is it her fault after she gave him ample opportunity?

So she ghosts him because she doesn’t want to have to go through all kinds of hoops to explain it, which she doesn’t know how.
And your right, her ex or another random plate comes over and gives her what she needs. Whatever her end goal is, it’s inside her head and can only be guessed at.

So how is this her fault. I don’t want to explain it to a woman either. She just doesn’t fit me.
What kind of frame thinks that women should operate on the mores and honor system that men do and clearly exhibit that they do not unless they are handing out a let’s just be friends rejection.

So what’s the catch in his frame that led up to him being upset over being ghosted?
 
R

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Bottom line is you texted this girl too much. Men, stop trying to build your relationships through the phone. The phone is a device used to set up dates.
I agree that’s the purpose of texting or phone calls is to set it up.
Texting too much is relative. I’ve texted back every day and by the time I was alone with them...it was a total fukfest.
Texting can also be used as forplay. Very good forplay. Because her imagination gets the best of her.
Then there’s the point where it’s too much too soon. I use texting for foreplay. Even if I haven’t been with her yet. I prefer it in person but that’s a reality women like because they can, if it calls for it, to be in complete control of the situation.

She will see him as unworthy with one guy and “yes, made me dripping before I get there.” With another guy.
 

sazc

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Of course there is, why are women so obtuse over this here. No one here is dating you, nothing to hide haha.
In this case it could ABSOLUTELY very well be that she didn't feel he was 'there enough' regarding her dog. She decided she didn't want to date someone who wasn't there for her, so she's putting distance between them.

Making it always about some other dude is just another way of soothing the blow to the male ego. It's easier to believe in some form of hypergamy rather than thinking you lost to thin air.

Bottom line, he didn't have what she was looking for. If he did, she would have stayed.

Yes, I know that assaults the fragile ego but buck up, we can't be all things to everyone.

The earlier you men start realizing that, everytime a chick isn't in to you, it's not the end of the world, and it doesn't define your manlihood, the easier time you will have all the way around.

Dude or no dude, he didn't have what she wanted so she moved on.
 

AttackFormation

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In this case it could ABSOLUTELY very well be that she didn't feel he was 'there enough' regarding her dog. She decided she didn't want to date someone who wasn't there for her, so she's putting distance between them.
Lmfao. Reading what women say about dating is like listening to some really good comedian who tells everything with a straight face. I wish there were more women around here... guess it's time to go hang out on some other forum too. Anybody got a recommendation?

When the thing with the dog happened, this guy asked her if she needed anything from him (which in blue pill world, beyond the concern he showed also shoulda given him points for "communicating"). I was gonna say he shouldn't have done that, it makes him appear too safe/nice and thus unchallenging and boring. Anyway then she said she "only needed his heart". And then you say, it's because she thought he DIDN'T care enough? LOL. No f*cking way.
 
R

Ranger

Guest
You're projecting the explosion of female narcissism onto men. Women are the ones who will invent any ego massage technique imaginable to avoid the fear of rejection. men are the opposite, men are born in rejection and face rejection every day of their life. the default male position as you see is to blame himself for the rejection, not to blame hypergamy. So it's very obvious that you're 100% wrong on this.

Men need to deprogram from the idea that women focus on one guy at a time. they need to avoid blaming themselves for every little issue and understand the actual Market dynamic.
Indeed. A man there for her carnal needs is way different than the man she needs for emotional support because of her dog.
She will get her canal needs first and then call in the dog guy for some support and maybe some cuddling.
He was in the wrong frame from the onset.
It’s the wrong model.
 

sazc

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It's actually you who project non stop. You burn male dating ideology onto a female frame and think "I got this all figured out" lol

It's interesting to watch and I'm amazed you guys don't see it.
 

R.U.G.

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Ive been/was seeing this girl for a little over a month now.. We see each other once/twice a week if time permits. She was cool for the most part and we dont do a lot of texting. As the weeks have gone on, we've gotten progressively closer ( yes physically as well).
This week, she was a little odd with the contact, so I just let her be and let it roll.

She text me Thursday night, " hey handsome, sorry I've been distant lately. My dog went in for a heartworm treatment and I have been stressed out about that. I hope you had a good day."

I text her the next day and ask her about the dog and I ask her if she needs anything from me and she responds with , " just your heart :). "
We make plans the next night for me to bring her dinner so we can keep an eye on the dog because the dog isn't allowed to elevate his heart rate due to excitement, etc..

The next day I hit her up and she responds almost immediately to that text. I then ask her what does she want to eat that night.

No response...... Period. I just figured something had to have come up.

I text her in the middle of the day yesterday just simply, " all good??".
No response.....

Ghosting when you first meet someone is not a big deal to me. Ghosting someone once you've made it seem like you like them and made plans is another thing.

Yes, I'm pissed. Very.
I get all the reasons why women ghost and etc but this is really bull**** because why go out of your way to make it seem like you care or like me?? Why all the affection and words to further things? A woman is to be taken by her actions and no her words right??

I'm really perplexed... that's all I got on this one...
Bro, you are chasing. Stop chasing. Stop double texting. You're oozing out neediness and attention. SHE has to chase you, not the other way around.

Watch my boy, AMS's video on this below. Classic AFC symptoms.

 
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