Playing the LTR Game Before Being In LTR

[MrJack]

Is this acceptable to do if you’re 100% sure a woman is in LTR seeking mode?

Met a girl about a month ago and she’s attracted to me but I’ve put on too much of a player vibe in her mind and I can easily see from her perspective she doesn’t see me as LTR material because of it.

I would love to bang the shyt out of this girl and she is definitely gf material so if anything evolved from it I’d be willing to go that route.

We’ve done everything besides have sex because she doesn’t want to have “meaningless sex” apparently.

Is it ever ok to say to a woman that you are genuinely interested in gettin to know her on a deeper level and see where things go? My alpha ness has not gotten her panties off and it’s blatantly obvious she’s attracted to me she just resists every time it comes to the point of sex because she doesn’t want to be another notch on my bedpost. I don’t know how to convince her otherwise.

Is this a case of a man who knows what he wants and just trying a new approach since player status is not working? Or is this simply blue pill thinking?

Thanks.

 

[Tilex]

How do you kino her?
What parts of her body do you touch, and how do you touch it?

It probably takes longer to warm her up like a cold engine on a freezing winter day.

 

[AJ84]

Is this acceptable to do if you’re 100% sure a woman is in LTR seeking mode?

Met a girl about a month ago and she’s attracted to me but I’ve put on too much of a player vibe in her mind and I can easily see from her perspective she doesn’t see me as LTR material because of it.

I would love to bang the shyt out of this girl and she is definitely gf material so if anything evolved from it I’d be willing to go that route.

We’ve done everything besides have sex because she doesn’t want to have “meaningless sex” apparently.

Is it ever ok to say to a woman that you are genuinely interested in gettin to know her on a deeper level and see where things go? My alpha ness has not gotten her panties off and it’s blatantly obvious she’s attracted to me she just resists every time it comes to the point of sex because she doesn’t want to be another notch on my bedpost. I don’t know how to convince her otherwise.

Is this a case of a man who knows what he wants and just trying a new approach since player status is not working? Or is this simply blue pill thinking?

Thanks.

Female perspective: If you see a potential for GF status then continuing getting to know her, you don’t have to say you are genuinely interested on a deeper level, just say you like where things are going and are open to going further if it gets to that point. I think that’s honest and vague enough without lying and leading her on. It takes time with someone to know whether you want to have a relationship anyway, and part of that time involves sex right?

That’s different than leading her on to think you want to be her boyfriend when all you want is to pump and dump.

 

[MrJack]

I'm almost always in the LTR boyfriend/provider zone even though they don't trust me fully either. It's still good.

So how do you play your cards right being in LTR provider mode? I used to be full on blue pill and now I’ve pretty much completely turned that around only to find that some girls DON’T want that lol.

Isn’t there a fine line between LTR provider mode and straight up beta? I have no idea how to differentiate the two.

 

[MrJack]

Female perspective: If you see a potential for GF status then continuing getting to know her, you don’t have to say you are genuinely interested on a deeper level, just say you like where things are going and are open to going further if it gets to that point. I think that’s honest and vague enough without lying and leading her on. It takes time with someone to know whether you want to have a relationship anyway, and part of that time involves sex right?

That’s different than leading her on to think you want to be her boyfriend when all you want is to pump and dump.

What if she’s reluctant to meetup at this point because it’s been drilled in her head that all I look for is puzzy? (Never directly said but heavily implied in my actions) Lol.

Lost cause and find new women? Or is this reversible?

 

[MrJack]

How do you kino her?
What parts of her body do you touch, and how do you touch it?

It probably takes longer to warm her up like a cold engine on a freezing winter day.

I kino her the same way I kino every other girl, I start light with the shoulders and slowly throughout the interaction keep going for other places like the stomach, hips, butt, etc.

 

[AttackFormation]

You need to keep in mind that the same woman trying to tell you how to run your set is the same woman that is crying at night that she isn't in love with the man she married (real life example of some nagging that I got one time).

lmao, this is true and we needed this perspective back.

Did that woman fall out of love, or did she marry someone she was never in love with (ie. what we here would be able to classify as a beta provider) in the first place?

 

[AJ84]

What if she’s reluctant to meetup at this point because it’s been drilled in her head that all I look for is puzzy? (Never directly said but heavily implied in my actions) Lol.

Lost cause and find new women? Or is this reversible?

Spend some time with her that doesn’t involve sexual activity. Mini golf or something. She is more likely to let her guard down if she can have fun with you in a non sexual way. Tap into her emotions and ease off the moves a bit, let her come to you more.

 

[MrJack]

By the way, I don't say this to be a cvnt. I say this because the cliched "relationship skills", I found to be quite crap. And often what really works best is counter-intuitive.

But you really need to see for yourself.

So then I've gotten somebody giving me sh1t for not doing "the right thing", and I've even got out my phone to show them that what I am doing is producing a desirable outcome, and they still stick to their script.

You need to keep in mind that the same woman trying to tell you how to run your set is the same woman that is crying at night that she isn't in love with the man she married (real life example of some nagging that I got one time).

Sorry I’m not quite understanding. What works best that is counter intuitive? What “right thing” are you referring to that is producing desirable outcomes?

Sorry haven’t had my coffee just yet lol

 

[MrJack]

Spend some time with her that doesn’t involve sexual activity. Mini golf or something. She is more likely to let her guard down if she can have fun with you in a non sexual way. Tap into her emotions and ease off the moves a bit, let her come to you more.

I’ll try for it. It seems like lately she is making excuses and telling me she will “let me know” what day works for her.

I’m guessing she has lost some interest? Yet when I saw her in person this past weekend she lays in my bed and flirts with me but doesn’t want to “give in” to sex.

 

[MrJack]

Game



Game

Gotcha. So basically you’re saying just keep it how I’ve been playing it even though she won’t give in?

 

[MrJack]

Whatever you decide to do, just do me a solid and don't stop hitting on other women. Even if you are only getting dud numbers and a slap in the face. Good for the soul.

I will never stop haha

 

[AJ84]

I’ll try for it. It seems like lately she is making excuses and telling me she will “let me know” what day works for her.

I’m guessing she has lost some interest? Yet when I saw her in person this past weekend she lays in my bed and flirts with me but doesn’t want to “give in” to sex.

All you can do is try another approach but you don’t owe her anything and if you find you’re jumping through hoops, essentially auditioning for the role of her boyfriend then move on. There’s only so much you should be willing to do before it sucks for you. Once it’s no longer fun whooing her, move on.

And keep your options open, meet other girls, you’re not in a relationship with her and you don’t owe her exclusivity to ease her reservations about you. Would being exclusive sway her opinion of you? Maybe, maybe not so don’t offer it especially because she is on the fence and you are not sure how high her interest is. Also if you don’t want to be exclusive anyway don’t talk about it, imply it, or anything.

 

[wifehunter]

A player will try to sleep with them right away...so for an LTR, the opposite applies.

Sex complicates things, that are already too complicated to begin with.

Best thing to do is deprioritize sex. That way, you won't come off as a needy player.

 

[MrJack]

A player will try to sleep with them right away...so for an LTR, the opposite applies.

Sex complicates things, that are already too complicated to begin with.

Best thing to do is deprioritize sex. That way, you won't come off as a needy player.

Will do. But then I always get the impression on this board that if you aren’t fvcking within the first 3 dates it’s basically not happening.

Also I don’t want to come across as only a friend... how do I deprioritize sex while still being sexual enough to not come across as the nice guy friend?

Shyts confusing

 

[wifehunter]

Will do. But then I always get the impression on this board that if you aren’t fvcking within the first 3 dates it’s basically not happening.

Also I don’t want to come across as only a friend... how do I deprioritize sex while still being sexual enough to not come across as the nice guy friend?

Shyts confusing

being sexual enough = body language that suggests she is a delicious three course meal.

Let her chase you and have her fun...then, it's impossible to end up in the friendzone.

 

[AttackFormation]

Best thing to do is deprioritize sex. That way, you won't come off as a needy player.

"Needy player" is a contradiction. You can't be needy if you are a skilled seducer with multiple options. When women call you a player, they're complimenting you because they know this.

Will do. But then I always get the impression on this board that if you aren’t fvcking within the first 3 dates it’s basically not happening.

Also I don’t want to come across as only a friend... how do I deprioritize sex while still being sexual enough to not come across as the nice guy friend?

Shyts confusing

I think AJ84's last post laid it out nicely for you. This is not the 19th century or whatever anymore, our culture has changed. If a woman today isn't fvcking you on the first 1-3 dates, and assuming she doesn't have some strong religious conviction or cultural background that explains that, then she has an ulterior motive to being with you that doesn't involve "I want him to pound me". Don't be fooled by her high-strung angel act, this behavior is not caused by her "fear of meaningless sex" but by a lack of arousal combined with either a search for or opportunistic sighting of a provider. She's had plenty of fast, meaningless sex in the past with guys she didn't think to put through the hoops she now wants you to go through.

The solution is simple. Put her on the backburner and keep meeting new women.

 

[wifehunter]

Oh, and. don't let the needy hoe worshipers sway you.

 

[ohrein]

But then I always get the impression on this board that if you aren’t fvcking within the first 3 dates it’s basically not happening.

That's just a beginner rule to force guys to escalate physically. I didn't have sex with my girlfriend until like 11th or 12th date which was a month and a half. We've been official for nearly 9 months now and she is great in bed. I think women who are interested in you for an LTR intentionally hold off on sex so you don't think she's a slvt. On the 4th or 5th date I was using kino and dirty talk, she was in my bed at night, she was grinding on me and getting really into it but stopped herself. Anyway, point being, fvck the rules sometimes. They are guidelines and there are always exceptions.

So you have to figure out if she's just a conservative girl, putting up the ASD (anti-slut defense) which is to demonstrate LTR value or if she's not interested in you. If it's the first two, you just continue on like sex isn't important but continue to try to turn her on. But only with words or touch that's not directly sexual. No genitals, no breasts, no ass, etc etc. Just stroke her neck, or put a hand on her thigh and gently run your fingers on the inside of her leg. ETC ETC. This is how many of my LTR's started as a beta and it is a beta way to start a relationship, but if you have alpha game and mentality it doesn't really matter. You are still the boss, you're not desperate, you can get other women, you're un-phased and amused by the whole process. She wants you and will give in eventually.

To recap, don't push sex but tease her. Get her into bed and tease her more, then tell her she needs to go home. Turn it into a bit of a game that you just find amusing. Don't stress about arbitrary number of dates to the lay, that's beginner game. Don't stress about beta plays because you need some of that in an LTR anyway. And the golden rule, if you're not having fun, why are you wasting your time?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I’ll try for it. It seems like lately she is making excuses and telling me she will “let me know” what day works for her.

I’m guessing she has lost some interest? Yet when I saw her in person this past weekend she lays in my bed and flirts with me but doesn’t want to “give in” to sex.

"I'll let you know" is a string along. Remove all attention. She's getting attention when you respond to these type of queries. Your telling her "I'm still very interested" and this is all she needed to know.