Demanding ladies.. Wow.

[RickTheToad]

Was messaging this lady and she saw I play tennis once and awhile. She said we should play tennis one day. I said sure, however, let's get to know each other over drinks first. She replied, I am happy to get to know you over tennis! We can get a drink another time. Seems a bit reversed. I passed. Once, I do not even know if I'd like her. Tennis is a long game, and you cannot get to know the other person while playing tennis. A bit demanding it seems.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Not a great account of spinning plates. Note plates. Not plate.

Not doing it right.

 

[resilient]

Some are more likely to be helpful and playful than others.

I find the ones that go back and forth with logistics to be too structured, controlling, and ultimately a turn off.

Sincerely interested women without the major mileage, high kill count, serial daters are feminine, submissive (yet not a doormat), flexible in schedule, and don’t put up a bunch of barriers to cross.

Sometimes you can dislodge the defenses with humor, banter, teasing, wit... other times it’s not worth the hassle.

I have one girl on Bumble that i’m ready to throw in the towel and write her off. In example, I’m setting up the date this week and ask for her number and specifically say next “let’s meet at Awesomeness Gastropub (City Name) on Friday for happy hour.” Next line is literally “you live in City Name?” Lmao.

Oh well, onto the next.

 

[The Diver]

I said sure, however, let's get to know each other over drinks first. She replied, I am happy to get to know you over tennis! We can get a drink another time.[/QUOTE]

You did well to give her a miss.
Another time= Anything other than Yes is NO
I personally have zero tolerance for BS, she's IN or she's Out, no patience for a time waster.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

So easy to meet women in... Starbucks for example. Today went in for a coffee, a lady was loitering around the counter. I wasn't sure if she was next in line, and so I asked her. She said 'No, you go for it' with a smile. Then I struck up a conversation at the sugar/ straw stand shortly after. I jettisoned as I figured out it wasn't worth my time. But this stuff is easy, and much better than OL [could quickly screen]. C'mon guys.

But this was not 'cold approach', where you purposely go out with the intention to meet a women. Some guys might need to practice this skill if they are shy, but beyond this it is creepy. You just want to be spontaneously and randomly meeting women when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[Desdinova]

She said we should play tennis one day. I said sure, however, let's get to know each other over drinks first. She replied, I am happy to get to know you over tennis! We can get a drink another time.
I passed.

Dafuq???

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her, and that can translate into trying to sleep with her.

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks"? I have NEVER taken a new prospect out for drinks. It's boring and can send the wrong message. I would have taken her up on tennis.

 

[The Diver]

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her,

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks

It's not only about a drink. It can be anything else that enables you to be close to each other with a chance for a kino, laughter, joking, body language. It's about the vibe and developing intimacy.

Her answer "Another Time" telling me she just looking for a partner for a tennis practice, nothing more. She didn't even counter offer with "a drink After the game"

How many time we heard:
Another time
Maybe
Will see
I will let you know
Not sure yet

knowing pretty well it's a synonym for Not Interested, and this case is no exception.

 

[RickTheToad]

Dafuq???

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her, and that can translate into trying to sleep with her.

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks"? I have NEVER taken a new prospect out for drinks. It's boring and can send the wrong message. I would have taken her up on tennis.

You are hitting a ball over a net 20 + feet away. There is no personal contact nor is there any real talking. You are just volleying back and forth. I di activity dates on date number two, not one. Reason being, we do not know each other and we cannot get to know each other hitting a ball back and forth; especially if it gets competitive.

I have one girl on Bumble that i’m ready to throw in the towel and write her off. In example, I’m setting up the date this week and ask for her number and specifically say next “let’s meet at Awesomeness Gastropub (City Name) on Friday for happy hour.” Next line is literally “you live in City Name?” Lmao.

Oh well, onto the next.

Been there too. Never seen so many prima donnas before.

Not a great account of spinning plates. Note plates. Not plate.

Not doing it right.

Building. Gotta start somewhere.

So easy to meet women in... Starbucks for example. Today went in for a coffee, a lady was loitering around the counter. I wasn't sure if she was next in line, and so I asked her. She said 'No, you go for it' with a smile. Then I struck up a conversation at the sugar/ straw stand shortly after. I jettisoned as I figured out it wasn't worth my time. But this stuff is easy, and much better than OL [could quickly screen]. C'mon guys.

But this was not 'cold approach', where you purposely go out with the intention to meet a women. Some guys might need to practice this skill if they are shy, but beyond this it is creepy. You just want to be spontaneously and randomly meeting women when the opportunity presents itself.

Korea is a bit different than Bridgeport, CT.

 

[AJ84]

Dafuq???

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her, and that can translate into trying to sleep with her.

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks"? I have NEVER taken a new prospect out for drinks. It's boring and can send the wrong message. I would have taken her up on tennis.

Was thinking the same thing. You totally get it. Not every woman wants to drink alcohol with a new man on a first date as most of us know the potential intentions behind those kinds of invites. Plus a woman who is interested in doing something active and fun where you have an chance to show her your tennis skills?

Big opportunity missed by you.

 

[RickTheToad]

Big opportunity missed by you.

Doubtful. Point is to learn and get to know someone. Can't do that over tennis.

 

[The Diver]

you have a chance to show her your tennis skills?

Yea, go impress her,,,,,,, that the way to win her,,,,,

 

[sosousage]

why she wants u to go out of your comfort zone on first date?! women these days i swear

 

[RickTheToad]

Just thought it was a bit strange the way she put the cart before the horse. All for tennis, but I would like to meet the person first; thus a drink. Doesn't have to be alcoholic, but I need to know if there's interest in real life. If there isn't, it's over in 30 minutes or so. Tennis is a pretty long game. The reply to my suggestion for drinks was, sure another time after tennis. Just a bit weird.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Was thinking the same thing. You totally get it. Not every woman wants to drink alcohol with a new man on a first date as most of us know the potential intentions behind those kinds of invites. Plus a woman who is interested in doing something active and fun where you have an chance to show her your tennis skills?

Big opportunity missed by you.

I kind of agree with Rick here. I suggested lunch/ dinner with a Chinese lady, and she suggested a bike ride instead. So off we went like the Famous Five... except minus the talking. Didn't get to know her at all. Awkward.

 

[AJ84]

Doubtful. Point is to learn and get to know someone. Can't do that over tennis.

Community tennis court/ bring some coffee or another beverage, take a break sit down have a chat have fun it’s not like she asked you to complete a best 2 out of 3 match or anything.

Doing stuff like that can bring her guard down, make her more comfortable and hence more open to drinks etc.

 

[sazc]

Dafuq???

She gave you a clear opening to number close and set up a date. Instead, she saw your intent on getting intoxicated with her, and that can translate into trying to sleep with her.

WTF is it with you guys insisting on "getting drinks"? I have NEVER taken a new prospect out for drinks. It's boring and can send the wrong message. I would have taken her up on tennis.

Agreed

When I read the original post, what I saw was a woman that was actually interested in GETTING TO KNOW YOU, as opposed to getting sloppy with you. I mean, you guys have a shared interest, it doesn't get better than that as an Icebreaker.

I also wanted to suggest (didn't b/c I didn't think it would be popular) that you could have said "okay, let's play X sets ( cutting the time it takes to play in half, or something) and loser buys the first round". That is a compromise and gets you both what you want.

But her not wanting to get drinks was her way of saying "I'm interested and want to get to know YOU."

 

[sazc]

Just thought it was a bit strange the way she put the cart before the horse. All for tennis, but I would like to meet the person first; thus a drink. Doesn't have to be alcoholic, but I need to know if there's interest in real life. If there isn't, it's over in 30 minutes or so. Tennis is a pretty long game. The reply to my suggestion for drinks was, sure another time after tennis. Just a bit weird.

So bring a cooler of soda, chill, have one, chat, then play tennis.

 

[AJ84]

I kind of agree with Rick here. I suggested lunch/ dinner with a Chinese lady, and she suggested a bike ride instead. So off we went like the Famous Five... except minus the talking. Didn't get to know her at all. Awkward.

That could of just been her and not the situation. Bike riding can be done side by side, stops, breaks etc.
Most activity based dates are not like going to a movie where you can’t talk.
There’s no reason why chats can’t happen playing tennis, shooting hoops, biking etc. It’s really one of the best ways to get comfortable with someone on a date as opposed to sitting across from each other like an interview. It’s also a great way for active guys to show off a bit and/ or invite her to join him in something he already enjoys doing.
FYI it’s hot when a guy shows us how to shoot hoops, hit a tennis ball, shoot pool or something else we don’t know how to do and he does. We get to see him in his elememt and that’s a more organic interaction, rather than peacocking at some pick up bar. Just my opinion.

 

[Desdinova]

You are hitting a ball over a net 20 + feet away. There is no personal contact nor is there any real talking.

I've met (and eventually dated) women I met in bars where you can't talk because the music is too fvcking loud. The only thing preventing you from turning a tennis date into a lay is YOU.

I di activity dates on date number two, not one.

I get laid on date #4. However, I've never pushed a woman away when she wanted to fvck on date #1, or even date #0. If she gives the green light to go a little faster, step on the fvcking gas pedal.

Doubtful. Point is to learn and get to know someone. Can't do that over tennis.

Correct. You do that AFTER tennis. Invite her out to grab a non-alcoholic beverage, go for a walk somewhere, etc. You need to get used to the idea of grabbing any little opportunity you see and going for it. There is no set list of rules of where and how you're supposed to date a woman. She asks if you want to do something, you go with her, flirt, kino, and turn it into more. She opens the door a crack and you pull it open. Once you get used to the idea of taking advantage of any little opportunity that presents itself, you'll find yourself getting more dates, sometimes more than you can handle.

Just thought it was a bit strange the way she put the cart before the horse. All for tennis, but I would like to meet the person first; thus a drink.

That's a 5hitty excuse to make up for your missed opportunity. Start with something fun and get to know her along the way. If you find out she's a cvnt, at least you had fun while getting to that point. That is how you avoid wasting time with a woman; you make sure you have fun while meeting and dating them.

Get rid of that mental roadblock of "I'd like to meet her first before having fun". It's a 5hitty excuse and it will prevent you from being successful with women.

I need to know if there's interest in real life.

If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have asked to play tennis with you. Women won't go out of their way to play tennis with a random dude unless they have a bit of interest in him. You take that little bit of interest and keep feeding her reasons to be more interested. That's how you get a date outside of Tinder, POF and all that other bull5hit.

 

[HankHill]

Well, nothing is ever black and white. I do agree activities are a great way to build rapport. However, I personally don't like Alpha females who reach out with a suggestion and then *insist* upon it. Sure they can reach out and they can make a suggestions but the 'my way or the highway' stuff doesn't work for me. I've met women recently that changed the meeting place and time because of some [insert a reason] and in the cases where I complied with their request I realized within mins of meeting them they had entitlement issues. One of these women did voluntary work for the homeless and her views on people who didn't volunteer were as if you were a self-absorbed low life, yet it was clear to me that she had this savior image of herself who should be praised and worshiped.