how do you skirt the line between beta bux and being cheap/stingy/Scrouge McDuck?

[devilkingx2]

everyone in the manosphere knows that you should be alpha fux not beta bux

everyone also knows that many women expect you to pay for expensive dates and some even expect gifts like flowers & chocolates on valentines, etc.

so the question is, how do YOU as a man avoid going too far in either direction? where's the line? do you draw the line at paying her rent? or are you way on the opposite end of the spectrum, never taking a girl on a date that costs more than $20 and going dutch for dinners?

personally I just pretend to be as broke as possible to minimize expenses and date girls who aren't gold diggers, unless she wants lingerie or something else that I actually want to spend my money on lmao

 

[mrgoodstuff]

everyone in the manosphere knows that you should be alpha fux not beta bux

everyone also knows that many women expect you to pay for expensive dates and some even expect gifts like flowers & chocolates on valentines, etc.

so the question is, how do YOU as a man avoid going too far in either direction? where's the line? do you draw the line at paying her rent? or are you way on the opposite end of the spectrum, never taking a girl on a date that costs more than $20 and going dutch for dinners?

personally I just pretend to be as broke as possible to minimize expenses and date girls who aren't gold diggers, unless she wants lingerie or something else that I actually want to spend my money on lmao

What if you buy lengerie and it doesn't get worn for you?

 

[sosousage]

bro you r just supposed to be their dildo, its not that hard

 

[devilkingx2]

What if you buy lingerie* and it doesn't get worn for you?

well if I forgot to use my common sense and bought it for the wrong girl, then I slap myself. I know at least two girls that would love for me to buy them things so they could dodge my texts and show off for other guys, that's why I don't remember their birthdays lmao.

if I took a calculated risk and calculated wrong... oh well, you win some you lose some right? the important thing is that I don't make the same dumb mistake more than once (with the same girl) lol.

 

[Dingo]

I never understood this going dutch thing.... You don't become "Beta" if you pay for a date.

If I'm interested enough to ask someone out its on me... By then I've screened pretty good. If things didn't work out not big deal. Hopefully I had some decent conversation and good meal.

I also open car doors and pull out chairs.

I'm old school I guess.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I never understood this going dutch thing.... You don't become "Beta" if you pay for a date.

If I'm interested enough to ask someone out its on me... By then I've screened pretty good. If things didn't work out not big deal. Hopefully I had some decent conversation and good meal.

I also open car doors and pull out chairs.

I'm old school I guess.

Their eating old school. Each of the old school ways has been compromised and overrun.

 

[devilkingx2]

I never understood this going dutch thing.... You don't become "Beta" if you pay for a date.

My brother is in his mid 30s and makes $80k a year working for the government here in NY

He thinks that he has to take girls out somewhere expensive and pay for dinner or he'll come off as cheap or broke and they won't want to date him

And yet I've heard a great many stories of him paying $100+ for dinner and getting little more than a thank you and a hug out of it.

Now, most of the women he dates sound like shallow frustrating gold diggers because he also has stories of girls who practically refused to go out with him unless he took them somewhere each meal was $50+

But the lesson is that increasing investment with women has no increase on return. Spending lots of hard earned money on a girl won't get you laid any more than buying her a bagel, so why spend more than the cost of a bagel?

It helps with outcome independence and being aloof if you're not actually losing anything significant. A little hard to not care when you're spending loads of time and money on jack ****. Women don't owe you sex, so you don't owe them a free meal. (Unless it's really cheap)

 

[mrgoodstuff]

My brother is in his mid 30s and makes $80k a year working for the government here in NY

He thinks that he has to take girls out somewhere expensive and pay for dinner or he'll come off as cheap or broke and they won't want to date him

And yet I've heard a great many stories of him paying $100+ for dinner and getting little more than a thank you and a hug out of it.

Now, most of the women he dates sound like shallow frustrating gold diggers because he also has stories of girls who practically refused to go out with him unless he took them somewhere each meal was $50+

But the lesson is that increasing investment with women has no increase on return. Spending lots of hard earned money on a girl won't get you laid any more than buying her a bagel, so why spend more than the cost of a bagel?

It helps with outcome independence and being aloof if you're not actually losing anything significant. A little hard to not care when you're spending loads of time and money on jack ****. Women don't owe you sex, so you don't owe them a free meal. (Unless it's really cheap)

AMS does a $20 first date in NYC. Cheap pub for a drink.

 

[R.U.G.]

AMS does a $20 first date in NYC. Cheap pub for a drink.

Correction by bro. AMS states, in NYC, 40 - 50 for the first date, around 60 - 70 for the second. There is nothing you can do for 20 bucks in NYC. It was in his video from last week. It's in line with what Tom Leykis states as well. Though, the second is a bit more expensive.


As for the OP, yea, it's tough. I usually try to meet for drinks and maybe an app or tapa. I have, unfortunately, been caught where the woman doesn't brink a dime with her and she orders two or three drinks plus something to eat. It's the luck of the draw. Try to keep it as tight as possible. If they want you to take them to a high end place, chances are you'll not get any pus, so just pass.

 

[devilkingx2]

AMS does a $20 first date in NYC. Cheap pub for a drink.

Correction by bro. AMS states, in NYC, 40 - 50 for the first date, around 60 - 70 for the second.

who's AMS?

There is nothing you can do for 20 bucks in NYC. It

Eh, depends on what you want to do really. I know a movie theater that used to have $11 tickets to see any movie (no 3D) at 11am. That's $22 for 2 tickets

You can get multiple meals for $20 at any deli, any fast food place, etc.

You can go to a park

At my college you can play pool, ping pong, and a bunch of other stuff in the game room for $5/hour

$20 can get you a game at a a bowling alley
https://whitestonebowlinglanes.com/pricing-hours/

Etc.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

who's AMS?



Eh, depends on what you want to do really. I know a movie theater that used to have $11 tickets to see any movie (no 3D) at 11am. That's $22 for 2 tickets

You can get multiple meals for $20 at any deli, any fast food place, etc.

You can go to a park

At my college you can play pool, ping pong, and a bunch of other stuff in the game room for $5/hour

$20 can get you a game at a a bowling alley
https://whitestonebowlinglanes.com/pricing-hours/

Etc.

AMS is one of the hardcore dating guys. Hes got the dating down in 2018 using plates/rotations/abundance MINDSET.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I would guess that NYC is gold digger central. It's not a random sample of women.

Where I live, $20 gets you two drinks for each of you and a tip for the bar tender. If she wants to be with you, that is enough.

 

[devilkingx2]

I would guess that NYC is gold digger central. It's not a random sample of women.

I wanna say that in my experience that's not even remotely close to true

But then my experience is mostly with teenagers and young adults, nobody over 23 with one or two exceptions. Whereas i have no idea what it's like when you're going after 25-35

But down here in the millennial dating pool, the brokest guys i know get the most girls lmao.

 

[bigdave17]

whether or not you are alpha/beta is probably based on how you act, not your spending patterns


You think some rich millionaire playboy out there who pays for everything with his women comes across as beta?

 

[bigdave17]

I wanna say that in my experience that's not even remotely close to true

But then my experience is mostly with teenagers and young adults, nobody over 23 with one or two exceptions. Whereas i have no idea what it's like when you're going after 25-35

But down here in the millennial dating pool, the brokest guys i know get the most girls lmao.

your sample size is worthless. Everybody is broke between 18-22


Sh*t I was broke back then. I didn't start making 100-180K until I was mid 20s (although that's still broke for NYC cost of living. You need to make about 400K to live my idea of a comfortable lifestyle in NYC)

 

[The Diver]

And yet I've heard a great many stories of him paying $100+ for dinner and getting little more than a thank you and a hug out of it.

My rule of thumb is: the first three dates are cheap, something like a drink, coffee, drink and a cheese platter, and as such. Almost always by the 3rd date, I have sex. (I do all I can to screen hard for HI. If nothing come out of it, its just cost me a drink and a bit time, which I try to enjoy myself regardless of the outcome)
Only once I paid $60 on the second date, but a heavy sexual texting already happened bf the date, and I knew its done deal, so I allowed myself to be generous.

 

[devilkingx2]

whether or not you are alpha/beta is probably based on how you act, not your spending patterns


You think some rich millionaire playboy out there who pays for everything with his women comes across as beta?

You don't think there are rich middle aged/old guys who get hosed by their trophy wives daily?

I certainly do.

Obviously it's not all beta, but there's a huge difference between buying your wife diamonds because she's great and she deserves a treat and buying her diamonds because the once a week sex dries up if you don't lol.

I knew a guy who spent $200 buying a birthday present for a girl he barely knew that had mostly disdain for him back in high school, it didn't work and he became a laughing stock for his intense thirst.

Meanwhile my friend bought and publically gave his girlfriend a boquet of flowers for Valentine's day, but that girl sucked him off in a stairway between classes so... Yeah she earned it lol.

EDIT: so I'd say we agree that it's not purely your spending it's your actions/behavior, but i disagree that there aren't millionaire beta males that spoil their girls and get little in return

 

[17 shots]

If you give a woman cash or presents before she has sex with you, it usually doesn't end well. Dates are fine, but nothing over the top until she gives it up

If you spend a whole bunch of money on her too soon, she'll think your easy and that you're a guy who throws his money around on every woman

 

[17 shots]

whether or not you are alpha/beta is probably based on how you act, not your spending patterns


You think some rich millionaire playboy out there who pays for everything with his women comes across as beta?

Yes, that does happen. Rob Kardashian is a prime example of that. You're Armenian, so I know you know who that is. Money and respect are 2 different things. Money gives you power, it doesn't earn respect

 

[R.U.G.]

who's AMS?



Eh, depends on what you want to do really. I know a movie theater that used to have $11 tickets to see any movie (no 3D) at 11am. That's $22 for 2 tickets

You can get multiple meals for $20 at any deli, any fast food place, etc.

You can go to a park

At my college you can play pool, ping pong, and a bunch of other stuff in the game room for $5/hour

$20 can get you a game at a a bowling alley
https://whitestonebowlinglanes.com/pricing-hours/

Etc.

My boy AMS, check him out - https://www.patreon.com/alphamalestrategies. Best 5 bucks a month you can spend.

20 bucks, let's break this down in NYC. Two beers 8 x 2 = 16 bucks before tax. A tapa or app, another 5, plus tip and tax. You'd be lucky to get out at 30. It happens, but rarely. Then you get someone who orders another drink or an app, and has no money. You'd be surprised how many women carry no money on them. Or, at least they say. So, now, add another 20 - 30 on to that. These women are tricky. I usually keep it to two drinks and an app, but things happen.

Bowling is good for a second date, first date, more for chatting and seeing if you like her. I've been using Groupon for a lot of my activity dates. I just went jet skiing a few days ago in NYC harbor (I.E. Hitch Movie). $22 bucks. But... then you get some drinks or something else, another 20 - 30 bucks. You need to keep things interesting in this day and age. If not, with Bumble, Tinder, Match, and all the other apps, you will be replaced. Happens to us all, even @R.U.G.