Hypergamy... what to do about it.

[Spaz]

Though @RangerMIke has some valid points and his posts are usually quite good, I feel the whole hypergamy thing is WAY overplayed and over blown on this site. A few thoughts and experiences based on 20+ years of dating and study into human behavior, especially motivation and attraction:

1- The NUMBER ONE factor MOST women strive for in a relationship is EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. Period. This is Boy-Girl 101 stuff. This has zero to do with what car you drive, the appliances you have in your kitchen, the fact you're a doctor or fly F-16s, your granite counter tops, and A-frame cabin in the woods. It has 100% to do with how she FEELS when she's with you. This is why the dentist gets dumped for the personal trainer making $30K year or low-key project manager at work--connection.

2- SOME women are focused on MONEY, possessions, looks, etc. But the ones who dump guys over this and marry for material gain are in the VAST MINORITY. Period. I don't have to tell you the ones that do this are REALLY f*ucked up and a total waste of time. BUT, any guy with a semblance of common sense should sniff this out WAY before committing or marrying a woman like this.

3- Hypergamy behavior in women, though real, does decline as their age increases. Yes, the 18-25 year old may be oooooed and ahhhhed by some guy's Maserati, house, jewelry, good looks, big biceps, whatever. But over time, women will choose a confident man who has his sh*it together who they CONNECT with--and you don't need all the material, shallow crap. Just some goals, no BS attitude, backbone, $ stability (not "rich") and GOOD JUDGEMENT. Yes, I do have good size in my biceps and I'm a gym rat. I also take care of my looks and have some $, but I do it for me. I also drive a 2000 Cherokee Sport, live in 1300 sq ft house (mine), have linoleum floors in my kitchen, and need some furniture updated. BUT, I have no problem regularly banging hot women 10-20 years younger. I've also had many LTRs.

4- Don't BLAME "hypergamy" if you get dumped or your woman is being distant. There's a 99% chance it's because YOU'VE f*cuked up and got sloppy in your game; needy, soft, lazy, out of shape, goal-less, basically a real drag and drip to be around. BLAME YOURSELF and fix it.

Good luck, gents.

~Dash

@RangerMIke and others highlighted some points that's spot on. Men needing to work on themselves etc.

Women r attracted to men that has passion, such as the musician he mentions, but that initial attraction she had faded because he was not effective - he can't earn a living as a musician. That's is why most women tend to leave a man.

It's not hypergamy.

Having a strong drive/ambition (passion) is a key personality trait that's highly admired by both men and women.

However if u r not effective then don't expect the admiration or desire to last.

And don't blame hypergamy.

Each and every time someone puts blame into hypergamy they change their Life Narrative. People need 2 understand that this very thoughts puts themselves in a vicious loop and over the years will find it extremely hard to extricate themselves.

 

[Spaz]

I'm sure you're a hard worker and a great guy. Good for you. Spare me the man up speech.

Let me just say that no man ever got married with the intention of getting divorced, yet there are a lot of them out there.

Nobody knows what fate has in store.

If a man got hit by lightning or got swallowed up in an earthquake - that's fate.

Some people calls it an act of God.

Being divorced, that's hardly an act of God or fate lmao

 

[The Diver]

(just joined the party, didn't read all the posts yet, and maybe it's already mentioned)

The way I see it is very simple: There always will be someone better than you. Improve and strive for yourself, not to eliminate woman hypergamy nature. If she's happy with what you have to offer she will stay, if not she'll leave. You can't walk on eggshell worrying all the time " am I good enough " for her.

Don't be afraid to lose her, B'cos the point to remember here is, that now, as a result of continually improving yourself, (for yourself), the by-product of it is, that you are now a better man than what you have been before, and theoretically, you too, can find a better woman if you want, and that what she"ll gets covertly. Ends of worrying on your part.

 

[user43770]

@RangerMIke and others highlighted some points that's spot on. Men needing to work on themselves etc.

And women don't, apparently.

Women r attracted to men that has passion, such as the musician he mentions, but that initial attraction she had faded because he was not effective - he can't earn a living as a musician. That's is why most women tend to leave a man.

It's not hypergamy.

That is exactly what hypergamy is. That would be next to it in a dictionary.

Having a strong drive/ambition (passion) is a key personality trait that's highly admired by both men and women.

No, I don't admire ambition in my women. I admire a pleasant demeanour and a submissive nature.

However if u r not effective then don't expect the admiration or desire to last.

Always the man's fault, right?

And don't blame hypergamy.

Each and every time someone puts blame into hypergamy they change their Life Narrative. People need 2 understand that this very thoughts puts themselves in a vicious loop and over the years will find it extremely hard to extricate themselves.

The legal system changed our life narratives. I don't know what country you live in, but it ain't all man up and everything will be OK. You also come off like you're an old guy. You have no idea what we're dealing with, so you should cease that sh1t. Tell me to man up...lol

Responses in bold above. I was going to back off, but you had to keep posting.

 

[Spaz]

Responses in bold above. I was going to back off, but you had to keep posting.

Ur responses r nothing new, it's been on this forum for years.

I'm sure many of you find it a very touching story to share amongst urselfs.

 

[user43770]

Ur responses r nothing new, it's been on this forum for years.

I'm sure many of you find it a very touching story to share amongst urselfs.

How old are you?

I only ask because I was raised on the red-pill. I spent my teen years reading about the legal detriments of marriage. As the years passed by, the stories from divorced men only grew larger. That's why I think you're an older guy - you have no idea what we're actually up against. You're remembering a different time.

 

[Spaz]

How old are you?

I only ask because I was raised on the red-pill. I spent my teen years reading about the legal detriments of marriage. As the years passed by, the stories from divorced men only grew larger. That's why I think you're an older guy - you have no idea what we're actually up against.

I can with certainty know u r not raised on the "red pill" aka masculine manhood.

Perhaps on an ideology. But not raised or mentored into one. That much is obvious.

Edit: It's oftentimes asked, so I'll not say it a 2nd time; I am 46. And as for my lineage/training/experiences I am a Dayak from the Island of Borneo and was raised as a warrior/hunter/gatherer. But that's my childhood. From a jungle dweller I am now in a concrete jungle and the skills of my youth has made me stand apart and its even easier in the cities, in any country I'm in.

 

[user43770]

I can with certainty know u r not raised on the "red pill" aka masculine manhood.

Perhaps on an ideology. But not raised or mentored into one. That much is obvious.

OK, buddy.

You older guys don't know what the game is like these days.

 

[zekko]

I only ask because I was raised on the red-pill. I spent my teen years reading about the legal detriments of marriage. As the years passed by, the stories from divorced men only grew larger. That's why I think you're an older guy - you have no idea what we're actually up against. You're remembering a different time.

I'm older than Spaz, and I can say that even when I was a kid, we knew that there were legal detriments to marriage, we knew it was a risky venture. But we also thought we had a possibility of success, if we looked at the risk factors and tried to minimize them. I can also say that a person would have to be blind not to realize that things have deteriorated considerably since then. The Pill, social media, feminism, and moral decay probably being the biggest reasons.

Younger people always think that older folks don't understand, and that what they are going through is totally unique, but you'd be surprised. Spaz has his own unique viewpoints, as do many individuals, but I don't think they are because of his age.

 

[user43770]

I'm older than Spaz, and I can say that even when I was a kid, we knew that there were legal detriments to marriage, we knew it was a risky venture. But we also thought we had a possibility of success, if we looked at the risk factors and tried to minimize them. I can also say that a person would have to be blind not to realize that things have deteriorated considerably since then. The Pill, social media, feminism, and moral decay probably being the biggest reasons.

Younger people always think that older folks don't understand, and that what they are going through is totally unique, but you'd be surprised. Spaz has his own unique viewpoints, as do many individuals, but I don't think they are because of his age.

I know you're privy to the game, zekko. I shouldn't have bunched all of the older guys into the same group.

Spaz is of the older breed that preaches keeping your nose to the grindstone. Do that, and everything will be OK.

It's obvious to those of us in the U.S. that it hasn't been that way since the patriarchy fell, decades ago.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OK, buddy.

You older guys don't know what the game is like these days.

Oh I do. My lady is 32. Don't game her and your fvcked. It's cut throat. Wild wild west.

 

[Spaz]

I did mention my skills set + experience has done me well in any country, that includes the US.

I've been to your country, and I've gotten laid there, it's even easier to do so as compared to Asian countries. But women r women no matter where u r.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

OK, buddy.

You older guys don't know what the game is like these days.

Hey so describe the structure and the rules and scenario. Can a man get support and love from a woman this day and age? Are all women only out for self? Can a man have a loyal woman?

 

[user43770]

Oh I do. My lady is 32. Don't game her and your fvcked. It's cute throat. Wild wild west.

Haha OK. There are plenty of you older guys around here that know the game. I shouldn't have brought his age up.

But he was making an old guy argument!

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Improve your smv then.

Get in the gym, focus on your dreams and goals in life, and elevate your game.

Incel? That whole incel movement is garbage, stop reading into that nonsense. There's women out there for everyone. It's the incel attitude and inaction in life that put them in that mindset in the first place.

My advice is gold though. You will keep more women in your harem when you simply don't care about them. Practice the power of indifference.

Not true.

Only women Worthy of consideration is top form SMV.

For everyone?

**** no.

More like cratered SMV. Single moms. Chads booty call. Tyrone's gang bang.

Terrible advice

 

[zekko]

I've been to your country, and I've gotten laid there, it's even easier to do so as compared to Asian countries. But women r women no matter where u r.

The issue in the US isn't that it's hard to get laid. There are plenty of sleazy women willing to hop into bed with a variety of men.
But if you want to find a good, loyal, quality women to settle down with, that's what has been deteriorating. The courts also favor women, so that's another reason that getting married here is a huge/bad risk.

 

[user43770]

Hey so describe the structure and the rules and scenario. Can a man get support and love from a woman this day and age? Are all women only out for self? Can a man have a loyal woman?

Your success will depend on the woman's age and maturity level. The ideal woman is young and inexperienced. At our age though, if a 20 yr old is having an LTR with us, she probably has mental problems (daddy issues etc.). So sadly, the ideal relationship is out of our grasp.

Can you still get love and support from a woman? Absolutely. I'm doing it right now. But you have to realize that women our age know the game, so you're going to have to put up with strategic emotional outbursts.

These women have made plenty of men cave in the past, and they expect you to do the same.

All you have to do is fvck her good, show her love when she really needs it, and stand your ground the rest of the time.

All women want a man with a backbone. A man who will put her in her place when needed.

 

[Spaz]

Haha OK. There are plenty of you older guys around here that know the game. I shouldn't have brought his age up.

But he was making an old guy argument!

My old guy argument has landed me a 5 year LTR with a woman who is 18 years younger. Prolly will end up marrying her or breaking it off.

And I hv also a plate who's been with me for roughly a decade, she's 9-12 years younger, can't remember.

Who among the younger generation with their new age ideology can say the same?

 

[Spaz]

The issue in the US isn't that it's hard to get laid. There are plenty of sleazy women willing to hop into bed with a variety of men.
But if you want to find a good, loyal, quality women to settle down with, that's what has been deteriorating. The courts also favor women, so that's another reason that getting married here is a huge/bad risk.

In every country men r being divorced by their wife's.

Asia is no exception.

IMO, it's more to do with the lack of leadership on the man's part then anything else.

Many of them can't even lead their wife's or girlfriends to decide on where to have dinner. They need to ask her 1st.

That alone is proof that men generally are clueless and lack skills.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I know you're privy to the game, zekko. I shouldn't have bunched all of the older guys into the same group.

Spaz is of the older breed that preaches keeping your nose to the grindstone. Do that, and everything will be OK.

It's obvious to those of us in the U.S. that it hasn't been that way since the patriarchy fell, decades ago.

We're from the old school.

The point regardless is not subscribing to victimhood.

Balls to the wall. What do you want in this life? Go get it.

You want to manifest whatever it is you want in this life. That in and of itself is attractive.

There's no denying gross female nature. Skiing down cawk mountain. Running through Playboy's. Cucking their husbands. Murdering babies. Men don't abort children. Women do. Society normalize your inability t comment on the matter.

This **** is normalized. The problem being man tolerates skuzz.

Most are **** and chucks. Not house material.