This girl STINKS

[Murk]

New girl started Monday, she is sitting next to me as we are both working the same geographical locations for the business.

The stinks.

She wore the same dress on Monday that she did on Tuesday. That's when I really noticed the stench, it's a weird smell, not fish, not body odor, but something...

Today she has a new top/skirt combo and I didn't immediately smell anything - great I thought - already started whatsapping my group chat that it's fine now.

Wrong.

She just got up to go for lunch and I smelled it again... I can't deal with this ****. Hygiene, especially in the office is a major fvcking priority. I have not sat next to someone that smells in the 8 years I've been working in office based environments.

How do I deal with this? It's been 3 days and I've had enough. I've only just come in from a client meeting so I've been in the office a total of 1.5 hours today and I already want to jump out the fvcking window and end it all.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? She needs a good fvcking wash. I have deodorant and aftershaves on my desk as a standard with a toothbrush in my draw with ties and cufflinks and a spare suit hanging in the office. How can't this b*tch wash her damn crutch and backside properly in the morning? She's not a child either. I like women to smell nice, this girl smells like nothing, no perfume no nothing, then wafts fvcking disgusting grimey disco vag/ass at me when she stands up.

In London we are having a heatwave that has last a month and it's set to last another 6 weeks (around 30c/87f) - I'm already agitated as I have no aircon at home.

Rant over, I'm fuming, no idea when she is going to stop stinking and I will just ask to move seats Monday if it's like this tomorrow and Friday.

 

[MrJack]

Lmao

 

[Atom Smasher]

I hate that. I have a very refined sense of smell so I can pick that up from yards away. In some cultures the women wear all sorts of weird scents that they find attractive but I find abhorrent.

I think your only recourse will be to move seats if you can.

 

[HankHill]

Tell someone in HR, they're used to dealing with this type of stuff. They'll call her into their office and nicely explain that she needs to take showers and wear deodrant. There's this whole sub culture of people that have decided that showering often and wearing deodrants is bad for health and the env...seriously I came across such people on some financial message board I'm on.

 

[marmel75]

Nope...never have has this happen. Luckily for me I work from home most days so I dont have to deal with any of the funkiness of others.

 

[logicallefty]

There is actually a condition called "bacterial vaginosis". This can happen when a woman sleeps with multiple men and doesn't wash guy #1's giz out of her cooter really good. Then #2 blows his wad in there. Then the seamen from #1 and #2 will actually have scientific reaction with each other and "fight" inside her vag. This causes a smell that would peel paint off of the 100th floor wall of a building when the woman is on the ground floor. I had one ex that had it when she was cheating on me and I will NEVER forget it.

 

[Murk]

There is actually a condition called "bacterial vaginosis". This can happen when a woman sleeps with multiple men and doesn't wash guy #1's giz out of her cooter really good. Then #2 blows his wad in there. Then the seamen from #1 and #2 will actually have scientific reaction with each other and "fight" inside her vag. This causes a smell that would peel paint off of the 100th floor wall of a building when the woman is on the ground floor. I had one ex that had it when she was cheating on me and I will NEVER forget it.

Sperm fights... kinky... it's not a spermy smell though. It's the same smell a really fat dude I went to university smelled like, it's just a grimy smell of ass and dirty unwashed clothes and skin...

Seriously though she came back from lunch spelling nice like perfume and I asked what she had eaten and she said "nothing I just looked around some shops" - Good I thought, starve yourself for all I care as long as you're smelling like perfume.

It's now been a few hours and it's worn off. She got up from her seat and I wanted to die. I need other people in the office to smell this, she's had training today so no doubt it hasn't gone unnoticed by one of the directors. I'm literally giving this til Friday or I'm saying something.

Edit: It just get worse throughout the day. Monday was a slight hint, wasn't really sure, Tuesday confirmed it, Today is just not fair to me. I bet by Friday it will turn fishy too. Sorry I just need to vent.

 

[R.U.G.]

There is actually a condition called "bacterial vaginosis". This can happen when a woman sleeps with multiple men and doesn't wash guy #1's giz out of her cooter really good. Then #2 blows his wad in there. Then the seamen from #1 and #2 will actually have scientific reaction with each other and "fight" inside her vag. This causes a smell that would peel paint off of the 100th floor wall of a building when the woman is on the ground floor. I had one ex that had it when she was cheating on me and I will NEVER forget it.

bacterial vaginosis is usually caused by overgrowth of bad bacteria, not the situation that you described. However, it was amusing to read. Yes, a woman with multiple partners can also get it, but it's usually due to overgrowth of bad bacteria. Once it becomes chronic, it's hell to treat. Quite painful I am told as well.

 

[R.U.G.]

OP, just put a bottle of Fabreeze on her desk. She'll get the idea.

 

[zekko]

Since you said it was not body odor, and had a hard time identifying the scent. AND said she had the same dress on two days in a row:
I wonder if maybe she has dogs. I notice dogs can get on you and leave a nasty stink on your clothes.
But I know this is SoSuave, so everybody is going to think vaginas, lol.

 

[Billtx49]

Somethings not right if she wore the same dress two days in a row, or maybe she got banged out the night before on dirty sheets at her mans place, slept over, and didn’t have time to shower and go home to change…

 

[logicallefty]

bacterial vaginosis is usually caused by overgrowth of bad bacteria, not the situation that you described. However, it was amusing to read. Yes, a woman with multiple partners can also get it, but it's usually due to overgrowth of bad bacteria. Once it becomes chronic, it's hell to treat. Quite painful I am told as well.

I don't have any firm proof the sperm fight each other per se. But have read that something happens with the sperm between her partners if left inside her together and then the bacterial vaginosis is the result.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Maybe she’s poor.

 

[Murk]

Maybe she’s poor.

Too poor for soap and water? Please bro.

Anyway yesterday she was getting up to leave and I called another colleague over to my desk and I saw the horror on this other colleagues face, we both stayed late working on a project and I mentioned that the new girl stinks and she said "yeah I came over and thought wtf?" - boom, I have some proof now.

It's a nice fresh day - let's hope this girl has showered, so far so good.

edit: ok it's now 9am, been here an hour and I caught a whiff of it again just now. I now have another colleague who can vouch for the smell, it's this girls first week at work what is wrong with some people. Anyway I'll only update this thread once I have told someone about it.

 

[logicallefty]

 

[Bokanovsky]

New girl started Monday, she is sitting next to me as we are both working the same geographical locations for the business.

The stinks.

She wore the same dress on Monday that she did on Tuesday. That's when I really noticed the stench, it's a weird smell, not fish, not body odor, but something...

Today she has a new top/skirt combo and I didn't immediately smell anything - great I thought - already started whatsapping my group chat that it's fine now.

Wrong.

She just got up to go for lunch and I smelled it again... I can't deal with this ****. Hygiene, especially in the office is a major fvcking priority. I have not sat next to someone that smells in the 8 years I've been working in office based environments.

How do I deal with this? It's been 3 days and I've had enough. I've only just come in from a client meeting so I've been in the office a total of 1.5 hours today and I already want to jump out the fvcking window and end it all.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? She needs a good fvcking wash. I have deodorant and aftershaves on my desk as a standard with a toothbrush in my draw with ties and cufflinks and a spare suit hanging in the office. How can't this b*tch wash her damn crutch and backside properly in the morning? She's not a child either. I like women to smell nice, this girl smells like nothing, no perfume no nothing, then wafts fvcking disgusting grimey disco vag/ass at me when she stands up.

In London we are having a heatwave that has last a month and it's set to last another 6 weeks (around 30c/87f) - I'm already agitated as I have no aircon at home.

Rant over, I'm fuming, no idea when she is going to stop stinking and I will just ask to move seats Monday if it's like this tomorrow and Friday.

That’s English women for you LMAO. No wonder English men conquered half the planet...

 

[sazc]

Get a small desk fan, set it on low and point it "at" you but in her direction. Problem solved, for you. Not for the suckers down wind, but who cares about them?

 

[sazc]

Sperm fights, lol...shook my head thru that fable the whole read, lololol

 

[Atom Smasher]

I don't have any firm proof the sperm fight each other per se. But have read that something happens with the sperm between her partners if left inside her together and then the bacterial vaginosis is the result.

Pew...pew...pew...!

 

[Murk]

I told someone from management, it carried right through to Friday, her fidgeting got worse to the point she was sitting on her desk chair on her knees, but her knees were spread to the side so it was literally her ass/vag on the chair with legs splayed akimbo, wait lemme google a pic.

This:

Literally that pose on the fvcking desk chair, then changing and alternating, kicking up a massive fart smell each time.

I have told everyone now, it's out of my hands. I said she can't go in front of clients like this (play up to the business side of things), lets hope she gets fired.

She needs to see a doctor.