I should say that I'm not afraid at all of a numbers game with online dating. I'm okay with messaging a 1000 women on match to find 1 who fits what I want (cute face with awesome body)
the problem is I think I could send 10,000 messages with online dating and not get any replies from anybody worthwhile
Approaching and asking women out in real life is much harder. I hate the awkwardness of rejection and making people feel uncomfortable. My best bet is to figure some way out to approach women and see if there is some chemistry and then only ask out the ones who are into me... that would probably make the rejection rate much lower but approaching women in real life is so fukking hard
I see a hot chick at a gym, what the fukk do I say that's not massively awkward?
I see a hot chick at a bar with 4 friends, what do I do to talk to her without making it massively awkward with her 4 friends there?
I see a hot chick at a grocery store, what the fukk do I say that would not make me come across as a serial killer?
This is why so many in the PUA industry went for canned game. Ie. Routines.
The opinion opener was an absolute classic back in 2005. I don't know if anyone can still use it today or if it's become such a massive cliche. The last time I was doing mass cold approach was the mid 2000s when this was still a fresh approach.
The beauty of canned routines is you don't have to think. You don't have to be witty. You can spend your brain energy trying to focus on delivery and judging response etc. You can "riff" on a subject like a comedian does if it's got traction, or switch to another subject. And they create automatic "impartial" conversations by which you can build rapport and get a conversation going.
Starting with an indirect opener is almost mandatory if you're not top tier attractive. You need time to build some connection before you can start going more direct. This is PUA 101, or at least it was then.
This may sound stupid as ****, to write down this way. But I'm going to tell you a bit of some framework for a simple type of approach I might have done in those days. As long as I had a reasonably attractive wingman present would almost always hook some interest/conversation:
- (chatting with friend, then look quizzically at girls next to you) Hey, so can I get your opinion on something? My friend and I have been talking and we need a female opinion ... I was listening to the radio today, and there was a survey that said women find fireman to be the most attractive job for a guy. Now this beat doctor, it beat CEO, it beat musician... So why do you think that is? Is it the big hose?
- (whatever she says, you can riff on it a bit, maybe give her a hard time about it, ask what they think is the hottest job, etc.)
- From there you can do whatever you want: Ask them what they do and then tell them you're gonna guess before they can answer, Just straight up introduce yourself ("My name's Dave, handshake or kiss the hand cheesily, what's yours?"), Give them a qualifying statement ("You guys are okay. I saw you standing there and I was kind of skeptical, but you seem cool"), Switch to another completely indirect routine (not another opinion one of course), etc.
I don't know if people still do opinion openers or they're played out. Curious if anyone's got a better pulse on the PUA industry they can comment more on whether this has become too cliche. But the basic principle of routines and indirect game is sound in my experience.
If you're confident there is immediate attraction, you can skip all that BS and just say, "Hi there, my name's Dave. I couldn't help but notice you standing here. You seem like an interesting person, (optional: I loved your (article of clothing), energy, other not too sleezy parameter) so I wanted to say hi." (shake hands)
Direct game never was my favorite. I always loved indirect game. But if I was tall or handsome, I would obviously do direct.
