What differentiates a woman that YOU would WANT to LTR?

[LiveYourDream]

TL;DR at bottom

You are spinning plates, in a way that works for you. You are enjoying your life and it’s abundance. You feel really good about who you are and the life you are living.

Women come and go from your life, as you lead them so, and as you decide it works for you. You are solid in yourself. You are happy. Life is good.

Then...you cross paths with that rare woman.

By the nature of who she is, how she is, and ???, you find that YOUR desire and inclinations for her and your life are different.

In fact, you find YOUR desire level for her, and how YOU WANT her, in YOUR life, are radically different.

She’s not a woman you simply see as yet another plate that you’ll spin and enjoy, till she has run her course. Not this one. Well... you could if you wanted to. Yet something in you, sees and experiences her differently. You know YOU want more with her, than the others. YOU are aware YOU want HER, to be in your life, in a much bigger way.

This is a woman that YOU can envision AND that YOU want (or would prefer) to have by your side, for the long term. You see the potential for long(er) term satisfaction with her.

You are not blind to the risks. You are an astute man. You know not to get ahead of yourself. You know life can change in a moment. You are very aware. In all that you do, you simply continue with choices, as long as they continue to add to your life in a positive way. She will be no different.

You are solid with her. You are solid without her. In your solidity, you are aware that YOU desire more with her.

What YOU most deeply desire now is to integrate this one woman into your life, and to LTR her, to the very best of your ability. You don’t see this one as a plate. YOU WANT to share your life with her.

She’s a woman you can see yourself sharing a truly happy and fulfilling life with. Life already is quite happy and fulfilling for you. Yet, she seems to add even more happiness and deep fulfillment, for you.

You know to watch out for oneitis and putting her on a pedestal. You know not to give away half your assets. You are wise in your choices. You continue to be so. You know she’s still a woman. She’s human. You know with her come things that will/do challenge you and that you don’t or won’t particularly care for, as well. You are not lost in a fantasy. You also see all she offers to you and your life. You are aware she has her challenges too. You remain aware.

You are smart. You might even be red-pilled. You haven’t, nor will you, throw logic or all you have learned, out the window. You know better. You also know that your experience of her isn’t simply emotions or lust.

You recognize her as a rare woman, full of attributes that you personally desire in a woman. You already live an abundance mentality, with desirable women in your world. This one still stands out and so much so that YOU want to LTR her. YOU want to integrate her into your life. YOU want HER.

One might observe that it’s actually logic that is inspiring you, to appreciate and to want this particular woman, over the myriad of others you’ve seen and interacted with.

It is your experience and all the wisdom you have gained along the way, that has given you the insight to discern, as best one could, that this woman, is a woman sincerely worthy, of the opportunity, to share your life, to be the woman by your side.

To you, she’s beautiful, delightful, feminine and so much more.

What differentiates her from all the others? What makes YOU want to LTR her?

TL;DR
Please... help me and other women, to understand, as much as possible, what you as a man most deeply desire in a LTR woman and what would truly inspire and satisfy you.

If you could design a LTR woman any way you wanted...who would you want her to be?

What characteristics or attributes would a woman have, that if you were to meet her and get to know her, that YOU as a man--strictly from within yourself—not because of a push from her, that YOU would feel so inspired, moved, or compelled by who she was, that you would, pretty much without hesitation, let go of your happy life of spinning plates, because....YOU would WANT to integrate HER into your life more fully, and LTR her, to the very best of your ability?

I imagine there will be commonalities. I also suspect each man will have his own unique woman to describe with his own personal priorities, preferences and desired attributes, in her. I think that is great and to be celebrated To each their own. I appreciate that.

I am asking, for you as a man...

Who would she be?

What would set her apart from the other women you meet and cross paths with?

What about her would inspire YOU to WANT to LTR her?

 

[sazc]

Really? You must not lurk on these boards at all....

Men want sex, men want to feel valid, valued and worthy. Men want fidelity, loyalty, respect and sammiches.

There's more, but that's all I can come up with on the spot.

Just go read the threads, it's all there.

 

[wifehunter]

sammiches help!

Someone who's not an evilskankwh0re, helps too!

'well behaved' comes to mind.

 

[Designer Man]

I want a woman who I get on with and who I click with. Someone who can laugh at themselves and enjoy their free time and wants to make memories. Somebody I have magnetic chemistry with and supports me in everything I do.

Someone who I can have a child with and marry one day. That is it basically.

 

[TheProspect]

She would have to be someone I would want my hypothetical future daughter (if I had one) to grow up and emulate.

For me, qualities that would fit that mould include:
- high emotional intelligence
- self-sufficient/independent
- ambitious and goal-oriented
- self-respect, strong principles
- motherly affection to loved ones
- desire to help and support others, provided it doesn’t cross the line into enabling or co-dependency
- likes to laugh and make me laugh
- takes good physical care of herself (healthy exercise and dietary habits in particular)

.... any additional quality I could think of would be related to something I already mentioned.


Regarding an ideal LTR-worthy woman, all the crazy mind-blowing sex in the world won’t compensate in the long run if even ONE of those things listed above are missing.

If I want to spend my life with a woman long-term, I want a companion, not just some chick lacking self-respect who is blindfully loyal and who lets me stick it in her whenever I please. I’m not attracted to co-dependent doormats.

 

[The Duke]

As I've gotten older my requirements for a LTR have increased. I have also became a better man and realize my value so I think its only fair.

Must Have's:
-Long Hair
-Flat Stomach
-Nice waist to hip ratio
-Cute face
-Sweet
-Submissive
-Honest
-Loyal
-Respectful
-Supportive
-Little to No Drama
-In control of her negative emotions.
-Good Work ethic
-Doesn't require sleeping pills, mood stabilizers, alcohol, etc
-No anxiety issues
-Self Awareness
-Takes constructive criticism
-Willingness to talk problems out and address head on.
-Willingness to let a man lead
-Understands the value in the "How to Be a Good Wife" article published in Good House Keeping in 1955

Bonus:
-Can cook
-Clean
-Nice Azz
-NIce Fake Boobs
-Freak in the bed and loves sex
-Her mother needs to have aged well.
-Comes from a good family.

Maybe my expectations are too high? I've been told that I expect a lot. But I know what it takes for me to stay satisfied so the bar will continue to be set high. I also have a mother that was all of this, too bad modern women offer so little.

 

[Roober]

There is no magical list. If you have a list, you are likely taking the best parts of your previous encounters and the worst parts of yourself and combining into this unrealistic image of a perfect mate. When a mate does not meet your expectations, you will always have an easy exit to protect your ego, regardless of who initiates the termination of the relationship.

Finding that person starts with identifying your strengths and your weaknesses. I would even go further to say that you should focus mostly on your weaknesses, those items that bring you to chaos. Then you find someone that complements those weaknesses. This is where many fail, including myself, at finding a partner. My exwife was not an ideal partner for me at all. We both came from broken families, were absolute failures at communication, and could not get the emotional support we needed. There is a long list of items I should have recognized long before we got married.

I suggest men (and women) look at a couple things...

1. Examine your emotional health. Don't hide behind the guise that you are emotionally healthy. This is a male improvement forum after all, and no amount of LMS improvement will fix a damaged mind. Accept the fact that you are flawed and look for ways to fix it. Take the ACE quiz, it is a good tool to give perspective. If you have a 3 or above, you very likely have baggage. Indicators of weakness include frequent alcohol and substance use, excessive porn, videogames, lack of self control, etc etc

2. Find someone that complements your strengths and weaknesses. If you are not inherently masculine, then it is not likely that you are going to attract very feminine women. And by masculine, I mean the natural traits such as leadership, conviction to your purpose, sacrifice, giving, etc. David Frida outlines this really well in "the way of the superior man"

I have been with he current lady about 18 months and she still love bombs me, we have sex 10-15 times week, and absolutely adores me. And I also just love spending time with her. She complements my weaknesses. I have trouble opening up, get derailed when I feel distance, and generally struggle with communication. All qualities which my lady excels. I have also recognized that I am very masculine, where she becomes submissive, supportive, and falls into the feminine role. When I dont lead (as I have set in my game over the last 18 months), that is when the relationship suffers.

My frame is fluid as it has to be in a relationship; I am not a tyrant or a slave

 

[skinnyguy]

I’ve said over and over again that I’ll get married to a woman only if she makes more money than me. I’ve been dating a lot of h0es who don’t have their career in order. I value a woman who is career driven and not slutty.

 

[Desdinova]

Please... help me and other women, to understand, as much as possible, what you as a man most deeply desire in a LTR woman and what would truly inspire and satisfy you.

- Low or non-existent partner count
- No tattoos
- Has no problem embracing her femininity

All of the above is rare today, especially in the same woman.

 

[TheProspect]

- No tattoos

Anecdotally speaking, I've noticed a 100% correlation between a woman's emotional stability and the amount of observable tattoos on her body, and/or the amount of pink/purple dyed into her hair.

I haven't met ONE woman who has tattoos or that has dyed her hair purple who turned out relatively more sane compared to the rest of women I've met, they've ALL appeared to have significantly higher levels of insecurity or more sh!tty attitudes than the typical women I've come across.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

she’s beautiful, delightful, feminine and so much more.

You can have only ONE of these traits as a woman living in a western country. Show me a woman you believe to be all these things, and I will show you a liar. They don’t exist anymore. I’m not sure if they ever have really. My mother was the shy and quiet type but even she isn’t a mother or a wife really.

She has to be beautiful. She has to know HOW to be beautiful (how to dress well without showing skin, relatively flat stomach, try to exercise somewhat). And she has to be feminine, allow a man to take full control. Most women can’t handle that nowadays. Obviously cooking and cleaning is nice. She doesn’t have to pick up after her man all the time but if he forgot or was just too tired from work to do it, then she could help him out (assuming he takes complete care of her financially). While by no means stingy, she only spends what she NEEDS to, nothing more. This should be common sense but to most women, it isn’t.
And as for my own PERSONAL desires in a woman:

And if I am getting girls left and right and I would stop that for her, she would have to expect nothing from me. Like me, but don’t expect me to come to you or buy you this or do this for you or do that. Don’t say something to me about ‘oh I really like it when guys do this one thing’ insinuating that you want me to do whatever it is that you like, I won’t do it. Some guys like this, but I as a person do not because I see it as subtle manipulation. If a girl mentions it as a passing comment while we are on topic of something unrelated then I’ll keep it in mind.

In terms of looks, I want her to be my equal. I have very broad shoulders and 6 pack with an Adonis belt, and am around 6% bodyfat. I’m not gonna LTR a chick if she’s slightly overweight or completely flat chested and a flat butt. That signifies low fertility to me whereas my physical feature signify high fertility. There’s no excuse for anyone to be out of shape or not look at least somewhat good. There are exercises girls can do to get a nice ass, so if she has that at least but her tits aren’t that great, I can overlook that. But if she’s everything I want in terms of personality but is ugly and overweight, no way. That means that I could never know if she’s being a sweet woman because she just is one or because she has to be to attract guys. Which leads to my next point...

LYD, the universal trait guys look for in women is sincerity. I desire a sweet and joyful woman who is sencerely like that. 2 weeks ago at work, I saw a lady who was probably in her 40s and was a little overweight, but she was just so jolly and sweet and feminine when she talked to me and so full of energy that I swear to you I felt turned on by it. Just by her personality. She wasn’t even attractive physically and was wayyyyy older than me but I was aroused by her because I felt so strongly her sense of joy and happiness and sweetness and sincerity of it all. Very rare nowadays. ESPECIALLY in beautiful women

 

[oldmanofthesea]

- Doesn't have emotional attachment issues or b-complex personality disorders
- Is passionate about at least one personal interest, and excels at it. Could be painting, piano, a sport..... whatever..... something that I admire her for that I can't/don't do, and something she channels a part of her energy into
- Binge watching sh*tty TV shows while smoking pot and eating junk food does not count as a personal interest - for example
- Is honest
- Is intelligent
- Appreciates me and is attracted to me physically and emotionally
- Is good with both giving and receiving, in and out of the bedroom
- Has a decent job (doesn't have to be her dream job, but should allow her to be financially independent, and she shouldn't hate it)
- Has a schedule that allows us to see each other once a week or more
- Is very active and likes the outdoors
- Is at least somewhat aligned with my world-views
- Has a healthy social life and doesn't have to be the life of the party but shouldn't be a complete wall-flower and incapable of talking to people
- Has a face that I personally find attractive
- Has a slender, athletic body because like me, she is active and cares about her appearance
- I don't like extremely masculine women, but I also don't like the TYPE of femininity that involves long nails, duck-faces, being vapid, and acting like you can't have an opinion or intelligence if you are a woman. I'm not into a lot of shine/glitter/glamour. I like the girl-next-door who doesn't wear a lot of make-up because she doesn't need to, who maybe played a sport in high-school and has stayed active ever since, and who prefers looking cute in a hoodie, tight well-fitting jeans and running shoes as opposed to stilettos and a mini-skirt. Cute, not extravagant.
- Has good feminine hygiene (can't believe I feel compelled to put this here but I DO)

 

[AttackFormation]

Habits & Traits
+ Some kind of intellectual interest. Philosophy, physical science, history, economics, psychology, whatever
+ Some kind of fulfilling activity or hobby, whether it's taking walks, reading, painting or swimming with sharks. The following don't count: snapchat, instagram, eating out, watching TV, shopping, braindead video (smartphone) games, getting drunk and smoking, and travelling to do the previous
+ No compulsive consumption of junk media like celebrity gossip, vanity, sports, etc. or compulsive use of smartphone
+ Good hygiene. Doesn't smoke, has a clean mouth and pvssy, washes or wipes her pvssy with water and not just dry paper when she's done
+ Considerate and responsible manners. Doesn't burp loudly, litter, or act indifferently or rudely to service people
+ Shows her face without make up
+ Humble; not vainly fixated with her own image and ego

Physicality
+ Both arousing and pretty enough for my personal taste (the detail of which is irrelevant) for me to be satisfied with her

+ She wants to fvck and be with me for its own sake; does not adjust her "lust" or "love" after the real or perceived utility she feels I can provide her

With all these wishes taken together in one woman, coupled with her being arousing and pretty enough so that I don't end up with an urge to cheat, I might as well make a wish to Santa Claus while I'm at it

Lastly... someone who doesn't make every sentence into its own paragraph. I aint reading more than the TL;DR until then

- Has good feminine hygiene (can't believe I feel compelled to put this here but I DO)

Amen brother. It's unbelievable, and disgusting how they don't keep themselves clean.

 

[The Duke]

There is no magical list.

Finding that person starts with identifying your strengths and your weaknesses. I would even go further to say that you should focus mostly on your weaknesses, those items that bring you to chaos. Then you find someone that complements those weaknesses. This is where many fail, including myself, at finding a partner. My exwife was not an ideal partner for me at all. We both came from broken families, were absolute failures at communication, and could not get the emotional support we needed. There is a long list of items I should have recognized long before we got married.

I'm not a person that came from a broken family. I promise you I have one of the highest functioning family units on the planet. Highly effective communicators, successful, very emotionally stable, highly rational all the time. I was lucky I had such a good exwife that had strong relationship skills and everything I listed. As I got out in the single scene years ago I quickly noticed how dysfunctional the majority of the world is compared to what I grew up with. Ive had several relationships with girls that flat don't have the skills I am accustomed to and its very difficult for me. I had one that was willing to learn and came a long way, but I was worn out by the time she got to where she needed to be to have a healthy relationship. I think the skilled people from healthy strong families should stick together. All the rest of the dysfunctionals can go fight it out somewhere else! lol.

Its also not fair to the one who has the skills to have to deal with the one who doesn't. Screw that. I'm not doing anymore charity work.

There is no magical list.


2. Find someone that complements your strengths and weaknesses. If you are not inherently masculine, then it is not likely that you are going to attract very feminine women. And by masculine, I mean the natural traits such as leadership, conviction to your purpose, sacrifice, giving, etc. David Frida outlines this really well in "the way of the superior man"

I have been with he current lady about 18 months and she still love bombs me, we have sex 10-15 times week, and absolutely adores me. And I also just love spending time with her. She complements my weaknesses. I have trouble opening up, get derailed when I feel distance, and generally struggle with communication. All qualities which my lady excels. I have also recognized that I am very masculine, where she becomes submissive, supportive, and falls into the feminine role. When I dont lead (as I have set in my game over the last 18 months), that is when the relationship suffers.

My frame is fluid as it has to be in a relationship; I am not a tyrant or a slave

How can you be masculine when your frame is fluid? Fluid is like the water(woman) and the Rock is the man that is the object of strength(frame).

You also say you recognized you are very masculine but you have problems remaining the leader. I'm confused. This is certainly not my definition of masculine.

Straighten me out here Roober!

 

[Roober]

I'm not a person that came from a broken family. I promise you I have one of the highest functioning family units on the planet. Highly effective communicators, successful, very emotionally stable, highly rational all the time. I was lucky I had such a good exwife that had strong relationship skills and everything I listed. As I got out in the single scene years ago I quickly noticed how dysfunctional the majority of the world is compared to what I grew up with. Ive had several relationships with girls that flat don't have the skills I am accustomed to and its very difficult for me. I had one that was willing to learn and came a long way, but I was worn out by the time she got to where she needed to be to have a healthy relationship. I think the skilled people from healthy strong families should stick together. All the rest of the dysfunctionals can go fight it out somewhere else! lol.

Its also not fair to the one who has the skills to have to deal with the one who doesn't. Screw that. I'm not doing anymore charity work.



How can you be masculine when your frame is fluid? Fluid is like the water(woman) and the Rock is the man that is the object of strength(frame).

You also say you recognized you are very masculine but you have problems remaining the leader. I'm confused. This is certainly not my definition of masculine.

Straighten me out here Roober!

Thank you for sharing your past. You are very fortunate to have an intact family structure. I sometimes wonder how it could have changed my life. Would you mind reminding me about your marriage, and why it did not succeed?

As far as the masculine concept, I did not state that I have problems remaining the leader. I may have momentary lapses where I just dont feel like making a decision, try to think of things more generally as it is not a black and white concept.

Additionally, there is some fluidity in your frame that is necessary. For example, do you stay under the speed limit? Are you 100% honest with my employer? Do you tell a pregnant woman she is eating too much? The woman is the water, I completely agree. To navigate those waters, you need to have many tools and they cant always be applied in the same fashion. You can use a wrench to hammer a nail, but it's not a very good hammer, so you need to find a wrench.

Maybe my metaphors are just terrible and missing the point entirely? That is entirely possible =)... Another example of being fluid, finding ways to navigate varieties of interactions, including this one

 

[Trump]

I am asking, for you as a man...

Who would she be?

What would set her apart from the other women you meet and cross paths with?

What about her would inspire YOU to WANT to LTR her?

She has to:

Always remain under 27 years of age
Always look hot
Don't communicate with ex-boyfriends
If married, get pregnant within 3 months
Sign a prenup that Divorce has to be VERY quick, easier than going to Starbucks

 

[Dash Riprock]

Loyalty is #1 for basically all men, corrolaries are Honor and Duty.

#2 affection

#3 supportive, corrolary is respectful

#4 intellectual

This is a good list plus EMOTIONAL MATURITY (EQ). Not stale, starchy, and prudish, but someone who is more concerned about my (our) happiness and progress in the relationship as opposed to how many likes or followers they just got on Facebook or Instagram. EQ/Maturity is exponentially important in solving relationship problems and issues too. There are "good" ways to fight and disagree.

And yes, there ARE mature women out there. I've dated them.

 

[ohrein]

Men want sex, men want to feel valid, valued and worthy. Men want fidelity, loyalty, respect and sammiches.

I started thinking but that is surprisingly spot on. What sets women apart for me now is one that actually gives a damn and puts effort in. Women these days have unbelievable expectations and an inflated sense of self worth over guys. The number of women I matched on Tinder with who barely attempted to get to know me was staggering. Even on some dates, these women gave off an air of superiority and to be blunt, had no reason to. They were attractive, but in an average way, had boring jobs they seemed unenthusiastic about, no hobbies or interests and as such seemingly had no appreciation for the life I have crafted for myself. Classic examples of women raised into a society that bows at their feet for simply being female. Feminism truly has corrupted so many women and it's a shame. I don't blame them at all, it's like a young pop star having no frame of reference to reality. You also realize before unplugging you used to treat women this way too so it's no surprise. I will be fair and say that many men operate under similar conditions.

So what sets women apart for me? Empathy and humility. Both in short supply in either gender in a world of social media likes and cheap thrills. The night I met my girlfriend she had a depth and sincerity I hadn't experienced in years. She's not perfect and neither am I but she somehow seems relatively untouched by all these ego boosters.

 

[Bible_Belt]

What would set her apart?

Ultimately, she keeps coming back, despite my failings and hers too.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

A kind heart
Emotionally stable
Strong sense of morality
Affectionate
Her actions match her words
Low N count
Physically attractive to me
Good skin
Good sense of humor
Doesn’t complain
Her parents stayed married
Intelligent
Girl next door type
Doesn’t have a sense of entitlement
Long hair
Loves to read
Loves music
Loves to ride on the back of a motorcycle
Loves to dance

-Augustus-