So what are women's complaints?

[AJ84]

Every girl I have had a casual fling with wanted to date me...and quick too. I was seeing a mid 30s beautiful single mom last year and she wanted to date me so bad you have no idea. I hate that I even went out with her because I hate misleading people




College chicks have no idea what the hell they want in life... not to mention we are at such different stages in life

I need like a smart 26 year old girl 4 year out of college with a decent professional job looking for a quality man

Dave you are what we call back home Yesbutters. Doesn't matter what someone suggests, there is a 'yes, but' response, followed by a request for a solution.

Like R.U.G suggested, see a therapist. I'm not saying this with malice, but I think you are just going to be more and more frustrated until you get your head out of your own butt.

 

[bigdave17]

The software isn't letting me portion out your quote. I'm in bold below:



See above in the quote. Silly software.

my problem isn't even that I feel that I'm not good enough or there's something wrong with me

It's that I've convinced myself that women have completely impossible standards and they never want any man to talk to them. I think I need to somehow bring that back to down to earth more than really convince myself that I'm a decent catch

I'm trying to tell you exactly what goes on in my head. Let's say I see a cute girl at my gym, here are the thoughts that go on in my head

- has a boyfriend
- even if she's single, she has 50,000 dudes hollering at her in her social circle and doesn't want some douchebag like me to hit on her
- I would annoy her immensely if I talked to her because she doesn't want random men talking to her
- even if she was open to talking to someone, she would want a guy who is 6'3 280 lbs 2% BF male model handsome billionaire. I never feel like I could be good enough no matter how much I improved myself
- I could maybe have a chance with her if I keep improving and improving and improving and improving myself. The problem is that this loop is non stop, it never ends. I want a level of perfection that's not possible

 

[R.U.G.]

I don't have it anymore.

Dude. Not cool.

my best friend says she does some things to frustrate him but overall, they're very happy

the key to avoid getting frustrated at people's behavior is empathy - to understand why they're behaving that way and to make peace with it. I actually have great emotional intelligence like that

You are not being realistic. As I and many others have told you, work on yourself and the women will eventually follow. You have some stuff in your head you need to work out. You should speak to someone about it. No shame in talking to a therapist.

 

[BeExcellent]

Dave you are what we call back home Yesbutters. Doesn't matter what someone suggests, there is a 'yes, but' response, followed by a request for a solution.

Like R.U.G suggested, see a therapist. I'm not saying this with malice, but I think you are just going to be more and more frustrated until you get your head out of your own butt.

Agree. Yesbutters are a frustrating sort...that is the ridiculous resistance of your subconscious to actual solutions. So the good news is we have (+) ID of the issue at hand.

So you get to root that out yourself or get help doing it. You have the resources and that would be a good investment in yourself and your well being. Tell your inner Yes, But-er to BE QUIET!

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Dude. Not cool.



You are not being realistic. As I and many others have told you, work on yourself and the women will eventually follow. You have some stuff in your head you need to work out. You should speak to someone about it. No shame in talking to a therapist.

Not being realistic with what? Work on myself how? Get rich, buy a Lamborghini, and go to the gym?

I've seen enough therapists in my life that I know what they're all about. They just offer one person's opinion, not necessarily any more valuable than that of the people on this forum or anywhere else.

 

[bigdave17]

Agree. Yesbutters are a frustrating sort...that is the ridiculous resistance of your subconscious to actual solutions. So the good news is we have (+) ID of the issue at hand.

So you get to root that out yourself or get help doing it. You have the resources and that would be a good investment in yourself and your well being. Tell your inner Yes, But-er to BE QUIET!

I think a lot of people automatically assume my problem is I feel there's something wrong with me

My problem is I have very toxic, defeatist horrible views and attitude towards women in the dating realm.

 

[R.U.G.]

Not being realistic with what? Work on myself how? Get rich, buy a Lamborghini, and go to the gym?

I've seen enough therapists in my life that I know what they're all about. They just offer one person's opinion, not necessarily any more valuable than that of the people on this forum or anywhere else.

Not you. The second part was for Big Dave.

 

[R.U.G.]

I think a lot of people automatically assume my problem is I feel there's something wrong with me

My problem is I have very toxic, defeatist horrible views and attitude towards women in the dating realm.

And you should explore that with a MALE therapist. He'll help you unpack those issues and explore the reasoning in why you feel that way.

Most modern women aren't worth their weight in gold, but there's no reason to say all are like that. Only 99.9%. Use them for what you need them for and be on your way. I assure you, they are ALL pre-programed to do this to men. It's called hypergamy, and there's nothing wrong with that*.






*But I do not support it.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

And you should explore that with a MALE therapist. He'll help you unpack those issues and explore the reasoning in why you feel that way.

Most modern women aren't worth their weight in gold, but there's no reason to say all are like that. Only 99.9%. Use them for what you need them for and be on your way. I assure you, they are ALL pre-programed to do this to men. It's called hypergamy, and there's nothing wrong with that*.






*But I do not support it.

Last male therapist I saw was some wimpy blue pill gaywad.

 

[guru1000]

I think we have enough characters in this thread alone for a prime time comedy reality show that millions across the globe would wait every week in anticipation to see.

+1 for Sosuave

 

[R.U.G.]

Last male therapist I saw was some wimpy blue pill gaywad.

Most are, but Big Dave needs a person to talk to. If not, I am concerned he'll turn into Stan.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Most are, but Big Dave needs a person to talk to. If not, I am concerned he'll turn into Stan.

I thought you were talking to me.

I can't read Dave's posts anymore cause I blocked him.

 

[R.U.G.]

I thought you were talking to me.

I can't read Dave's posts anymore cause I blocked him.

No need to block him. We're a community to help people. He needs help, just like all of us in some part of our lives.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

No need to block him. We're a community to help people. He needs help, just like all of us in some part of our lives.

He's insulted me too many times. I don't care about him.

 

[flowtheory]

I think a lot of people automatically assume my problem is I feel there's something wrong with me

My problem is I have very toxic, defeatist horrible views and attitude towards women in the dating realm.

No. You have a toxic view towards your self... see below...

I'm trying to tell you exactly what goes on in my head. Let's say I see a cute girl at my gym, here are the thoughts that go on in my head

- has a boyfriend
- even if she's single, she has 50,000 dudes hollering at her in her social circle and doesn't want some douchebag like me to hit on her
- I would annoy her immensely if I talked to her because she doesn't want random men talking to her
- even if she was open to talking to someone, she would want a guy who is 6'3 280 lbs 2% BF male model handsome billionaire. I never feel like I could be good enough no matter how much I improved myself
- I could maybe have a chance with her if I keep improving and improving and improving and improving myself. The problem is that this loop is non stop, it never ends. I want a level of perfection that's not possible

 

[ohrein]

- gyms (where an approach is insanely difficult as women just want to work out and not be hit on by some fking douchebag)
- bars (where women come in big groups and it's so hard to tell who is single and who is not and no - I'm not approaching a group of 6 random women. You're out of your mind)
- online dating (which is completely worthless for men who are 6'3 and male model handsome)

You see how you place your own boundaries on things? These are the only three places to meet women and none of them are good for meeting women. Of course you don't try when that's all you tell yourself. You can meet women anywhere at any time. You just have to get over those preconceptions firstly, and secondly don't try to achieve anything when meeting women. There's nothing wrong with going up to a woman at the gym and saying hello. If she doesn't seem reciprocal or interested, no shame in bailing. Although I do agree the gym isn't the ideal place.

You've never approached a large group of women? Man, it can be a lot of fun. Again, your mentality with this is you can't tell who's single, outcome focus. Just have fun with it. Plus what says "I have huge balls" more than a confident and ****y man who approaches a group of women?

You would do fine on OLD if you just dropped the outcome investment. I'm less attractive, less wealthy and less stylish than you and I went on dates with doctors, law students, managers. But you need to treat it as fun, not an interview.

We could go over every detail of every negative perception you have but it would take a lifetime. At the end of the day, that's all they are. Your perceptions. I can point them out all day long but until you see them as faulty, you'll continue to hold your negative mindset.

 

[Dash Riprock]

As a man becomes older women look more at ACTUAL results in life. Who do you think has more dating options...the 35 year old doctor or banker or the 35 year old clerk at Walmart? And that's not to say there is anything inherently wrong with being a clerk at Walmart...just don't expect 26 year old HB9's to give a store clerk the time of day compared to the white collar professional who demonstrates ambition, success, and the ability to comfortably support a family.

@BeExcellent nailed it right here.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think we have enough characters in this thread alone for a prime time comedy reality show that millions across the globe would wait every week in anticipation to see.

+1 for Sosuave

LMAO. Guilty as charged too

 

[flowtheory]

I think we have enough characters in this thread alone for a prime time comedy reality show that millions across the globe would wait every week in anticipation to see.

+1 for Sosuave

There needs to be a show just about dating and talking about dating/relationship issues in a comediec way. It would probably be quite good if done properly.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I wish we could have kept this thread on point per the OP's original question. Pages 1-2 of this thread were very good. Then, no offense @bigdave17, but it turned into your group therapy session...again. It's the same damn drivel over and over for the 17th time.

Dave: tough love man, you seriously need CBT not SS. We all have doubts from time to time but yours are quite extreme.The last three pages are mostly you going off about not being good enough again. F*UCK...