So what are women's complaints?

[ohrein]

my problem is the process required to get to that point is unbelievably difficult

Your problem is you believe the process is difficult. Dating is one of the easiest and most natural things in the world. Have fun and take it interaction by interaction. I realize saying that with my experience versus yours seems callous, but I'm telling you this because you need to see it for what it is. You need to know you are wrong about it. It is difficult because you make it artificially difficult with your beliefs.

 

[bigdave17]

Your first point, right there Dave. You don't consider your causal flings as having any worth. You mentioned many times that you don't want something causal and just want to meet your ideal woman. You have listed so many things wrong about the women that do approach you.

None of those women are anywhere near dating material though

Yes I want a hot spanish or arab girl but would I date a hot black girl or hot asian? sure I would.

The problem is that the women I've had dating experience with have been over 35, had kids, were fat, were very mediocre looking, etc... It's not like I'm having dating experience with 26 year old 7/10s and turning them down because they're Asian and not Spanish.

Causally date. Do it Dave. Who cares if they aren't the Armanian/ Latina/black don't crack mix you want to marry. Until you meet that ideal girl, have sex with other girls!!

because it's morally wrong. I'm not going to have sex with a woman I can't see myself dating

Your gender can't do casual sex. All the women I've ever had casual flings wanted to date me very very badly. It's morally f*cked up to have sex with someone and to enjoy their company when they badly want to date you. I'm not going to use people as practice

Everybody here does that because 90% of the men on this forum are f**king a**holes with zero sense of right or wrong

Those experiences, while not your ideal, are not worthless because dating and having sex with women, ideal or not, will boost your confidence, relax you, and ease your anxiety around approaching the kinds of women you really want

I've done the flings with old women or chubby women and it didn't do anything to help me in terms of the hotties I want to be with

 

[bigdave17]

I was asking more if you care if you have a woman. Does it bother you that you don't?

Does it bother me that I've never had any meaningful dating experience at the age of 30? of course it does. It would drive you crazy also. It would drive anyone crazy. Humans are social creatures

And are you still loving your life?

I'm very grateful for everything I've ever been given and I do love my life but the problem here is you just don't understand how terrible it is to go this long and struggle this badly

This is like a rich American trying to understand the value of food from a starving ethiopian. You don't know because you haven't experienced it

So you are probably mildly outcome dependent. You view women with a lens of a future partner (which is fine, that's screening) but perhaps that want for a girlfriend is strong enough to erode some of your confidence? It changes the dynamic when you want a girl too much from a carefree and fun experience into a pressure cooker of qualification. Qualifying a woman shouldn't be a shopping list you go through with her, it should reveal itself naturally as you just have fun with her.

I still think this is a mindset issue. You definitely do not have an abundance mindset as you don't think there are many quality women (which is true, but there are enough to find more) and I think that this leaks out of you in your interactions and in your confidence. Would that sound about right?

Forget all that

my #1 problem is I think women have completely impossible standards and that I can never be perfect enough for them
#2 problem is I believe all women are taken and don't ever want to be approached under any circumstance

So you think you provide a masculine and fun personality outside of your on paper SMV?

I'm plenty masculine in my behavior
I'm a lot of fun to be around with

I have 100% confidence in my abilities if I was to actually get any dates or get into a relationship

 

[R.U.G.]

@bigdave17, what you need is a therapist to work past your issues. No disrespect, but I can smell your despiration through the computer screen. You need to check that sh!t if you ever want to get some pvssy. I've walked up to hot women in the gym before, always shot down, but I take it in stride. Again, this was 20+ years ago. My gym now is in my house. Only one member, me. My MMA place has mostly bros though. A few women, but too musclier for me.

 

[BeExcellent]

I disagree.

Don't delude yourself.

So when a hurricane tore through central Florida last year and males were putting it back together... You think girls could have done just as good of a job?

Putting all the power lines back up and making them operational. Clearing all the debris, etc.

Men do nearly EVERYTHING better than females do.

You are simply delusional about this.

OK.

 

[R.U.G.]

Females are not incapable Richard. I've laid plenty of tile, installed backsplashes, including with natural marble, done trim carpentry, plaster work (I'm better at plaster than anyone else I've come across), roofing, painting, refinishing of wood floors, mudded dry wall, done brickwork and stone work and taken down full sized trees with a chain saw and designed and installed tons of landscaping. Sometimes I cut my own grass. So I've done plenty of manual labor on properties I own and have an interest in (as you are doing now). Doing all that taught me a great deal about what those trades involve, what to look for, what things cost, and how to manage jobs and costs. Extremely valuable information.

But my time is better spent working from the neck up. I make more money finding new deals and doing my consulting business than I will ever earn painting or laying tile, which is why I never did it for anyone other than myself. It actually was costing me money (in lost consulting income) to do my own painting and tile. So I quit doing that.

Sorry dear, the frogman is right. Most women in the realtor / construction field are absolutely useless. I had to fire one in NJ and last week in upstate NY. Both with 20+ years in the business; they say. One did absolutely nothing. The other let a job go unsupervised for over 2 weeks. No disrespect to BeExcellent, but women in the real estate field are useless. Well, there are a few on Porn Hub that have some talent. ;'p

 

[bigdave17]

Your problem is you believe the process is difficult. Dating is one of the easiest and most natural things in the world. Have fun and take it interaction by interaction. I realize saying that with my experience versus yours seems callous, but I'm telling you this because you need to see it for what it is. You need to know you are wrong about it. It is difficult because you make it artificially difficult with your beliefs.

Here's the reality of my situation. I live in the suburbs and no, I can't move (I have a big house, great job, great family and friends all within 10 minutes of each other, my life is unbelievably perfect and I would be insane to give that up)

The reality of living in the suburbs as a late 20s single man means I only see dateable women in like 3 situations

- gyms (where an approach is insanely difficult as women just want to work out and not be hit on by some fking douchebag)
- bars (where women come in big groups and it's so hard to tell who is single and who is not and no - I'm not approaching a group of 6 random women. You're out of your mind)
- online dating (which is completely worthless for men who are 6'3 and male model handsome)

outside of that, I'm around old people and married people here.

so what's my solution here?

 

[AJ84]

None of those women are anywhere near dating material though

Yes I want a hot spanish or arab girl but would I date a hot black girl or hot asian? sure I would.

The problem is that the women I've had dating experience with have been over 35, had kids, were fat, were very mediocre looking, etc... It's not like I'm having dating experience with 26 year old 7/10s and turning them down because they're Asian and not Spanish.



because it's morally wrong. I'm not going to have sex with a woman I can't see myself dating

Your gender can't do casual sex. All the women I've ever had casual flings wanted to date me very very badly. It's morally f*cked up to have sex with someone and to enjoy their company when they badly want to date you. I'm not going to use people as practice

Everybody here does that because 90% of the men on this forum are f**king a**holes with zero sense of right or wrong



I've done the flings with old women or chubby women and it didn't do anything to help me in terms of the hotties I want to be with

Oh Dave. Women are capable of causally dating. Did you not go to college?

Actually, that's who you should be hitting up, college aged girls. You're not even 30 right? No big age difference so it won't look weird if you hang out at college crowd bars or other venues. Plus you have some good looks and a decent income. There are lots of college aged girls who would enjoy dating a slightly older, good looking established man and not expect a commitment. She could have the experience and you could date girls that are not older single moms who you think may be looking to latch on.

It would be a win win.

And drop the moral stuff Dave, come on now. If it was such a moral issue and 90% of the guys here are f**king a**holes then why do you keep asking these a**holes for advice?

 

[R.U.G.]

I’ll have to take a look at these vids later when I have wifi. However, you’re right. Women are never satisfied. And may never will be.

But we can’t stack that idea against ourselves and be like ‘there’s no point because she’s always going to want the next level’. There’s a little bit of nihilism in that idea, for me.
I would argue that’s just human nature - everyone wants the next step - especially taking in to account social media and heavy comparison these days because of that.

However... if you don’t want that type of person, do not go for that type of person. People are always seeing things they want. Is anyone ever truly satisfied?
I think that’s where finding someone and looking within yourself is key, who is spiritually sound. to me that’s vital. someone who is grateful for what they do have. Even if it’s just a roof, bed, and a can of soup. But if you go for women who don’t know gratitude or show appreciation and are just out there for the stars and yours, then that’s a hell of a ride.

Have to choose the right woman. They’re not all like our exes who made us have an empty perspective on relationships.

I am not jaded, but I do look for similar qualities against my ex's to avoid. The videos are third party and two are explained by people who are in psychology. Don't take my word for it. That is why I posted the videos. Women, in general, are never happy. This is a scientific fact. Has nothing to do with hate or like, it's fact. Now, maybe women like BeExcellent, and women around her generation are different. I do not know. I can only go by what I've seen and experienced.

 

[bigdave17]

Oh Dave. Women are capable of causally dating. Did you not go to college?

Every girl I have had a casual fling with wanted to date me...and quick too. I was seeing a mid 30s beautiful single mom last year and she wanted to date me so bad you have no idea. I hate that I even went out with her because I hate misleading people

Actually, that's who you should be hitting up, college aged girls. You're not even 30 right? No big age difference so it won't look weird if you hang out at college crowd bars or other venues. Plus you have some good looks and a decent income. There are lots of college aged girls who would enjoy dating a slightly older, good looking established man and not expect a commitment. She could have the experience and you could date girls that are not older single moms who you think may be looking to latch on.

College chicks have no idea what the hell they want in life... not to mention we are at such different stages in life

I need like a smart 26 year old girl 4 year out of college with a decent professional job looking for a quality man

 

[AJ84]

OK.

Hahaha yep, just close up that loop. Been there done that.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Sorry dear, the frogman is right. Most women in the realtor / construction field are absolutely useless. I had to fire one in NJ and last week in upstate NY. Both with 20+ years in the business; they say. One did absolutely nothing. The other let a job go unsupervised for over 2 weeks. No disrespect to BeExcellent, but women in the real estate field are useless. Well, there are a few on Porn Hub that have some talent. ;'p

"Realtor" and "construction worker" are worlds apart.

But I think males are better at EVERYTHING, including traditional female jobs like nursing and teaching.

Make any athletics team putting the top male athletes against the top female athletes in any sport. The males will win. You can use this analogy for construction work as well. Men are physically stronger and have more logical and smarter brains.

Funny story about Porn Hub. See this girl...

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5adc6d100bd61

I had sex with her. I met her on SA and she came over to my house. She was terrible in bed, can't suck a d1ck to save her life, and her pu$$y "farted" at me 3 times.

 

[R.U.G.]

Every girl I have had a casual fling with wanted to date me...and quick too. I was seeing a mid 30s beautiful single mom last year and she wanted to date me so bad you have no idea. I hate that I even went out with her because I hate misleading people




College chicks have no idea what the hell they want in life... not to mention we are at such different stages in life

I need like a smart 26 year old girl 4 year out of college with a decent professional job looking for a quality man

Bro, stay away from single moms. What you just described doesn't exist. Sorry.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Hahaha yep, just close up that loop. Been there done that.

Because you're wrong, idiot.

How fvcking delusional are you? Next you're going to tell me that we should have an all female police force?

 

[R.U.G.]

"Realtor" and "construction worker" are worlds apart.

But I think males are better at EVERYTHING, including traditional female jobs like nursing and teaching.

Make any athletics team putting the top male athletes against the top female athletes in any sport. The males will win. You can use this analogy for construction work as well. Men are physically stronger and have more logical and smarter brains.

Funny story about Porn Hub. See this girl...

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5adc6d100bd61

I had sex with her. I met her on SA and she came over to my house. She was terrible in bed, can't suck a d1ck to save her life, and her pu$$y "farted" at me 3 times.

PM me her #. You need to go for the ass. With her, the pus is so loose, too much air gets in. For BJs, it's best to just face fvck them if they are doing it wrong.

 

[bigdave17]

What you just described doesn't exist. Sorry.

my best friend is dating a beautiful 29 year old lebanese dentist...she is cool as fuk

 

[R.U.G.]

my best friend is dating a beautiful 29 year old lebanese dentist...she is cool as fuk

Bro. How's the air on cloud 9? What you see in public and what's behind the scenes are completely different.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

PM me her #. You need to go for the ass. With her, the pus is so loose, too much air gets in. For BJs, it's best to just face fvck them if they are doing it wrong.

I don't have it anymore.

 

[bigdave17]

Bro. How's the air on cloud 9? What you see in public and what's behind the scenes are completely different.

my best friend says she does some things to frustrate him but overall, they're very happy

the key to avoid getting frustrated at people's behavior is empathy - to understand why they're behaving that way and to make peace with it. I actually have great emotional intelligence like that

 

[BeExcellent]

The software isn't letting me portion out your quote. I'm in bold below:

You're one of the most intelligent posters here by far. I hope you know I appreciate your help tremendously

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. Many years ago I struggled with a sense of not being good enough. It is a big mountain to climb. I had a chip on my shoulder the size of Pike's Peak. So I determined to SHOW the world and everyone that told me I was "less than" just how bad ass I was. Why? Because I needed to convince MYSELF. In fact sometimes and around here even that "I'll SHOW you" attitude pops up. And when it does the community calls me right out on it. That is healthy healthy healthy. Does that sound familiar? If so you CAN reprogram yourself. Your subconscious has to be retrained to your new reality. This starts with positive self talk. I AM ENOUGH. I AM BAD ASS. ANYONE WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE ME. You have to internalize that positive attitude relentlessly; daily; several times a day. Been there. You can do it.

I don't know

See my paragraph above. If necessary get a therapist or a life coach. There is no shame in it and it might really benefit you. That's a good investment in yourself and you can afford it (Yay You!)

I've made dating out to be so difficult in my head and women to be so impossibly unreasonable that I can't climb out of this black hole of hopelessness.

Get help if necessary. Also read "The Power of Now". Much in that volume applies IMO.

I actually have 100% confidence in my ability to handle myself well in a relationship

Good. Keep up that self talk. It is positive.

my problem is the process required to get to that point is unbelievably difficult

And (as Yoda would say) that is why you fail. Discard this belief. It is strangling you.

I don't give a f*ck if you're the strongest, most independent soul in the world...going your whole life with zero meaningful dating experience will terrorize anybody mentally. Humans are social creatures. Have you ever met a forever alone permanently single type dude who was mentally healthy and balanced? I haven't either because it doesn't exist

My life outside of dating is perfect, but the fact that I've never had any meaningful dating experience at nearly 30 years of age is unbelievably frustrating,

Don't pity yourself. Move toward changing the attitude that this arises from. Discard self pity. People with self pity are pitiful. Throw it right out.

I don't know if I'm expressing myself properly here. If I was to date someone, I would take pride in never being supplicating, never being weak or needy or clingy (those are traits that I'm vehemently against) but I can't say that I'm completely happy despite the fact that I've never had any meaningful dating experience. I will tell you this though - there is not a person in this world outside of maybe a few asexuals who would be completely happy never having any dating life at the age of nearly 30.

See above in the quote. Silly software.