GFs who can't stop seeking male attention

[sazc]

I just believe that she loves me more than to pull the wool over my eyes like that. She would seriously leave her home, cohabitate, mix our family's together, and start a family together... just to get in my pockets and have a free ride for now? Is that what you're getting at?

I am not in her head, nor am I in your daily life. I cannot say what she is or isn't thinking.

Seems like you are trying to ascribe some standard of intelligence to the same woman who has gotten accidentally pregnant, and not cared to lock her meal ticket down, twice.

She's had at least one child out of wedlock with a man that she didn't care to create a family with. Now it seems she is doing that again, as evidenced by the Facebook conversation you saw.

Would she give up her home, move her kid, etc, yadda, etc?

Essentially what you are asking is, do I really think she would really have such poor critical thinking skills to make the poor decisions you refer to. Yes. Best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Of course you believe she loves you more than to take advantage of you. That's normal. You need to tell her you saw that FB comment and ask her why she isn't interested in getting married. It's fine to tell her 'no pressure' or that 'you're not there yet either', but figure out why she's actually having your baby (without your consent) but she can't see herself marrying you. What is the hesitancy? What are the issues?

Come on Randall.... An intelligent woman doesn't pop out the offspring of a man she is not in love with and dying to marry - unless there is an agenda. She's literally CREATING the situation where she IS a single mother, AGAIN. There is definitely something cognitively dysfunctional in that line of thinking.

Her agenda is to remain a single parent. She'll hold that sh1t over your head. You want to see your kid? Pay her money, bend to her will, etc. That child is now her trump card and will become a pawn.

If YOU were smart, you would talk to a lawyer about the situation and get everything laid out, put into a custody agreement, etc. She doesn't want to marry you? Fine, then deal with everything that could happen later.

 

[cityboy989]

I am not in her head, nor am I in your daily life. I cannot say what she is or isn't thinking.

Seems like you are trying to ascribe some standard of intelligence to the same woman who has gotten accidentally pregnant, and not cared to lock her meal ticket down, twice.

She's had at least one child out of wedlock with a man that she didn't care to create a family with. Now it seems she is doing that again, as evidenced by the Facebook conversation you saw.

Would she give up her home, move her kid, etc, yadda, etc?

Essentially what you are asking is, do I really think she would really have such poor critical thinking skills to make the poor decisions you refer to. Yes. Best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Of course you believe she loves you more than to take advantage of you. That's normal. You need to tell her you saw that FB comment and ask her why she isn't interested in getting married. It's fine to tell her 'no pressure' or that 'you're not there yet either', but figure out why she's actually having your baby (without your consent) but she can't see herself marrying you. What is the hesitancy? What are the issues?

Come on Randall.... An intelligent woman doesn't pop out the offspring of a man she is not in love with and dying to marry - unless there is an agenda. She's literally CREATING the situation where she IS a single mother, AGAIN. There is definitely something cognitively dysfunctional in that line of thinking.

Her agenda is to remain a single parent. She'll hold that sh1t over your head. You want to see your kid? Pay her money, bend to her will, etc. That child is now her trump card and will become a pawn.

If YOU were smart, you would talk to a lawyer about the situation and get everything laid out, put into a custody agreement, etc. She doesn't want to marry you? Fine, then deal with everything that could happen later.

Well like I said, this only ISN'T bad if she was either 1) joking or 2) doesn' think he'll ever propose to her, for whatever the reason is.

 

[randalljohnson]

I am not in her head, nor am I in your daily life. I cannot say what she is or isn't thinking.

Seems like you are trying to ascribe some standard of intelligence to the same woman who has gotten accidentally pregnant, and not cared to lock her meal ticket down, twice.

She's had at least one child out of wedlock with a man that she didn't care to create a family with. Now it seems she is doing that again, as evidenced by the Facebook conversation you saw.

Would she give up her home, move her kid, etc, yadda, etc?

Essentially what you are asking is, do I really think she would really have such poor critical thinking skills to make the poor decisions you refer to. Yes. Best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.

Of course you believe she loves you more than to take advantage of you. That's normal. You need to tell her you saw that FB comment and ask her why she isn't interested in getting married. It's fine to tell her 'no pressure' or that 'you're not there yet either', but figure out why she's actually having your baby (without your consent) but she can't see herself marrying you. What is the hesitancy? What are the issues?

Come on Randall.... An intelligent woman doesn't pop out the offspring of a man she is not in love with and dying to marry - unless there is an agenda. She's literally CREATING the situation where she IS a single mother, AGAIN. There is definitely something cognitively dysfunctional in that line of thinking.

Her agenda is to remain a single parent. She'll hold that sh1t over your head. You want to see your kid? Pay her money, bend to her will, etc. That child is now her trump card and will become a pawn.

If YOU were smart, you would talk to a lawyer about the situation and get everything laid out, put into a custody agreement, etc. She doesn't want to marry you? Fine, then deal with everything that could happen later.

Point taken.

Her first child came when she was 20 or 21. The kids father is a total prick who constantly gives her problems to this day. They split up when the baby was still an infant. But I had a child out of wedlock too. She was also very young when she popped out the first child too. This is now nearly 10 years later she's having a kid with me.

She doesn't really hide me from the world though. She'll post things on Facebook about me from time to time, sometimes post about when we go out for a date. Like the other night she posted about how we went to go see some chick flick (she wanted to see it.) I understand that you think I'm in denial, but if she didn't love me or care about me why would she be doing these things, posting stuff like that on Facebook? To make her life look better on Facebook?

 

[RangerMIke]

FWIW in my experience, chicks that are to most likely to cheat on their men are the ones that post all kinds of couples sh!t on social media. She is signaling the world what a great couple they are. But she will cheat and she will have a tiny circle of friends that she will she her "I'm such a wh0re! (giggle)" stories with. If you do not think this is true, then you really do not know women.

 

[sazc]

Well like I said, this only ISN'T bad if she was either 1) joking or 2) doesn' think he'll ever propose to her, for whatever the reason is.

she actually has a history of joking and being sarcastic where she legit, unashamedly, puts @randalljohnson down in front of others. In a relationship where you are trying to CREATE intimacy, trust and loyalty, you dont do that to your partner. It's destructive on many levels.

 

[sazc]

Point taken.

Her first child came when she was 20 or 21. The kids father is a total prick who constantly gives her problems to this day. They split up when the baby was still an infant. But I had a child out of wedlock too. She was also very young when she popped out the first child too. This is now nearly 10 years later she's having a kid with me.

She doesn't really hide me from the world though. She'll post things on Facebook about me from time to time, sometimes post about when we go out for a date. Like the other night she posted about how we went to go see some chick flick (she wanted to see it.) I understand that you think I'm in denial, but if she didn't love me or care about me why would she be doing these things, posting stuff like that on Facebook? To make her life look better on Facebook?

This is you trying to justify the decisions you've made to us.

What I keep reading that you want is a woman who will openly celebrate being with you. What you keep posting here is a woman who is lethargic, at best, at celebrating her 'union' with you, and has openly admitted she doesnt celebrate you enough to want to marry you.

On some levels, I get it. We all want to find someone to be with. She's popping out your kid so you are hoping you can create a bond and a permanent union. But your manner of approach is backwards. You should have waited until you foind someone you felt safe with and you felt celebrated being with you.

Good luck. Work out custody NOW while things are good. Just tell her, since were not planning on marrying, I want to protect my access to the kid by getting a custody agreement in place right now. She'll probably ask for you to mention child support as well. If she does, address it within state guidelines, if she doesnt mention it, dont add it. If she asks for spousal/partner support as well, you'll know why she's poping a kid out. This only comes into play if you two decide to split and will ensure that you have an agreement in place so you wont fight about it, and the kid wont become a pawn, if soething goes wrong. Protect your ass and your kid.

 

[sazc]

FWIW in my experience, chicks that are to most likely to cheat on their men are the ones that post all kinds of couples sh!t on social media. She is signaling the world what a great couple they are. But she will cheat and she will have a tiny circle of friends that she will she her "I'm such a wh0re! (giggle)" stories with. If you do not think this is true, then you really do not know women.

This may be the womans mechanism to pull the wool over the guys eyes. Post on social media that you are head over heels so he wont suspect ur banging the bartender. It's not a true predictor, but I get your point.

 

[cityboy989]

This is you trying to justify the decisions you've made to us.

What I keep reading that you want is a woman who will openly celebrate being with you. What you keep posting here is a woman who is lethargic, at best, at celebrating her 'union' with you, and has openly admitted she doesnt celebrate you enough to want to marry you.

On some levels, I get it. We all want to find someone to be with. She's popping out your kid so you are hoping you can create a bond and a permanent union. But your manner of approach is backwards. You should have waited until you foind someone you felt safe with and you felt celebrated being with you.

Good luck. Work out custody NOW while things are good. Just tell her, since were not planning on marrying, I want to protect my access to the kid by getting a custody agreement in place right now. She'll probably ask for you to mention child support as well. If she does, address it within state guidelines, if she doesnt mention it, dont add it. If she asks for spousal/partner support as well, you'll know why she's poping a kid out. This only comes into play if you two decide to split and will ensure that you have an agreement in place so you wont fight about it, and the kid wont become a pawn, if soething goes wrong. Protect your ass and your kid.

Again, if he's lucky, she was either joking or doesn't think he'll make the jump and marry her, for whatever reason. But you're right about her and her "joking." I remember he posted that one time when she was "busting his balls" she said to one of their mutual friends on facebook "god help whoever marries him when it comes time for photography." Joking or not, that's brutal lmao. Makes him look like a total doormat which may be the reason she's still with him. May be (temporarily) done with the "a-holes" and is looking for a doormat provider (for right now.)

 

[randalljohnson]

Hey all. It has been awhile since I popped my head in on here. Been fixing things up with the house and working alot. Our baby is due shortly.

Sazc and cityboy, I see that you guys indicate she may be trying to pull he wool over her eyes. Funny thing is, that one ex (the one she dumped years ago and tried getting back with, but he rejected her) whose pics she kept liking, recently had a baby with his current girlfriend. His page is nothing but pics of the baby now and it looks like she stopped liking his pics.

 

[cityboy989]

Sazc and cityboy, I see that you guys indicate she may be trying to pull he wool over her eyes. Funny thing is, that one ex (the one she dumped years ago and tried getting back with, but he rejected her) whose pics she kept liking, recently had a baby with his current girlfriend. His page is nothing but pics of the baby now and it looks like she stopped liking his pics.

And? That's a win for you? She stopped liking his pics because he's now just posting pics of his baby that he had with ANOTHER WOMAN. Why would she be liking those pics? Common sense, dude. Your "girlfriend" now may feel that her ship has sailed with him, possibly. Maybe she'll try to kick things into high gear with you now....but then again, maybe not.

 

[Von]

Hey all. It has been awhile since I popped my head in on here. Been fixing things up with the house and working alot. Our baby is due shortly.

Sazc and cityboy, I see that you guys indicate she may be trying to pull he wool over her eyes. Funny thing is, that one ex (the one she dumped years ago and tried getting back with, but he rejected her) whose pics she kept liking, recently had a baby with his current girlfriend. His page is nothing but pics of the baby now and it looks like she stopped liking his pics.

Will she post a picture on FB with the baby AND you?

 

[randalljohnson]

Will she post a picture on FB with the baby AND you?

Probably. Why wouldn't she? If you're implying that she wouldn't want that old ex of hers to see, she follows him on Instagram, she doesn't have him on her Facebook.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Do you all view this as shady behavior, NPD, HPD, BPD, or is this paranoia? I feel like she cant leave me considering I put a roof over her head, am providng for her and her kid, and we have a kid on the way. I just find it disrespectful...and shady.

Can't leave you because your her temporary ATM?

Not doing it right kuz.

ROOSHV has the point of not dating attention *****s. Once she has bit from the nectar of attention *****-dom, there is no coming back. The same for skiing down cawk mountain, running through bad boys, and seeking to play house when her SMV has cratered. Women think the good times don't end and that her 20s will just grow back when the milks gone bad.

Kick her the **** out and actually learn game. Get a ****ing life.

 

[Glassguy]

Congrats on being the last one standing and never her first choice. It must be fun living with that and going to have a kid with her.

This is what no self respect gets a man. Trapped in life with no way out to a woman who will always be looking for the better option and leave when she finds it.

So what she stopped liking this dude's pics. It would have never been allowed on my watch. I would have kicked her attention wh0ring a$$ to the curb. Now she's going to pop your kid out and youre obligated to her for the next 18 years. All because you didn't put your foot down.

She will be liking someone else's pics soon, or she already is but you don't know it yet.

Congrats.

 

[cityboy989]

Did she at least write a sappy paragraph about you yesterday on Valentine's day, like 99% of girls on social media do who have a boyfriend/husband? I went on FB yesterday and my news feed was full of nothing but that crap.

And bro be honest, has this girl spent a penny on this house??

 

[cityboy989]

So what she stopped liking this dude's pics. It would have never been allowed on my watch. I would have kicked her attention wh0ring a$$ to the curb. Now she's going to pop your kid out and youre obligated to her for the next 18 years. All because you didn't put your foot down.

I think he was implying that one of her old ex's (whose pics she had been liking,) just had a child and posts pics of nothing but the child now. And Randall thinks it's a Win that she stopped liking his pics...

Yeah she stopped liking his pics because his pics are of nothing but his new child....with another woman!!! Seriously Randall....

 

[randalljohnson]

Did she at least write a sappy paragraph about you yesterday on Valentine's day, like 99% of girls on social media do who have a boyfriend/husband? I went on FB yesterday and my news feed was full of nothing but that crap.

And bro be honest, has this girl spent a penny on this house??

No she didn't say anything about me on Valentine's day. We had a relatively regular day that day too.

 

[randalljohnson]

Congrats on being the last one standing and never her first choice. It must be fun living with that and going to have a kid with her.

This is what no self respect gets a man. Trapped in life with no way out to a woman who will always be looking for the better option and leave when she finds it.

So what she stopped liking this dude's pics. It would have never been allowed on my watch. I would have kicked her attention wh0ring a$$ to the curb. Now she's going to pop your kid out and youre obligated to her for the next 18 years. All because you didn't put your foot down.

She will be liking someone else's pics soon, or she already is but you don't know it yet.

Congrats.

Some people here are claiming she's some wicked witch. "She sees your new baby as a meal ticket." "She won't care to break up your family and further traumatize her child by separating her from you and your child."

So she'll dump me at some point after our child is born and relish on my child support for the next 18 years, is that the consensus? Just making sure I fully understand.

 

[randalljohnson]

Can't leave you because your her temporary ATM?

Not doing it right kuz.

ROOSHV has the point of not dating attention *****s. Once she has bit from the nectar of attention *****-dom, there is no coming back. The same for skiing down cawk mountain, running through bad boys, and seeking to play house when her SMV has cratered. Women think the good times don't end and that her 20s will just grow back when the milks gone bad.

Kick her the **** out and actually learn game. Get a ****ing life.

Get a life? I work full time and am a home owner taking care of myself, my girlfriend, my kid, her kid, and soon-to-be our newborn. You seem pretty immature by the way you type. Are you sure im the one who needs a life?

 

[sazc]

No she didn't say anything about me on Valentine's day. We had a relatively regular day that day too.

Are you guys even in love?

You're expecting a baby together soon and NOTHING was done to celebrate the feelings you have for one another?

Did you drop the ball? Did she tell you not to bother? Did you both just not say anything about it to each other?