GFs who can't stop seeking male attention

[randalljohnson]

@randalljohnson you know full well that you are going to get all sorts of different comments on here. All you are trying to do is deflect the conversation and make the topic about something that it isn't, in an effort not to acknowledge what everyone has said.

Tell me something, why is it that you can stand your ground against other members of this forum but can't do anything remotely like this with your pregnant girlfriend?

Merry Christmas. Sorry Ive been away or a week or so, had a lot going on with the holidays. I've already said it 100 times, Im afraid it would come off 100% beta and make me look like a creepy stalker to her if I told her I knew she was Liking her exes pics.

As far as marriage goes, she doesn't want to take that step yet. We've dabbled in the discussion (don't want to put a ton of pressure on her to marry me, as I feel it should be the woman who should be more dedicated towards getting married.) We've done everything else under the sun except getting married (in the year plus that we've known eachother.) We live together, our kids live together, we're having a baby, etc. Just the other day on facebook, she posted pics of our christmas get-together, and a mutual friend of ours wrote "so when is the ring coming?" she replied with "you're hilarious." he said "Kinda seems like the next logical step, doesnt it?" She replied with "Haha yeahhh don't see that happening."

 

[randalljohnson]

You should know that she wants to marry you. Should be very obvious.

You should just be sort of giving in to it (arguable that you should even be doing that).

She's pregnant with your kid, living with you, and you still don't even know if she wants to be married to you? At what point do you actually accept that you might be in a bit of a mess?

You're right; she's pregnant with my kid, living with me, with our children. We've done virtually everything EXCEPT get married, in the 15 months that we've known eachother/been together. We've dabbled in the discussion of marriage (not wanting to come on too strong,) and it doesn't seem like we're going to make that jump yet.) A few days ago on facebook, she posted pics of our christmas get-together, and a mutual friend of ours wrote "So when is the ring coming?" she said "you're hilarious." And then he said "Kinda seems like the next logical step, doesnt it?" She replied with "Haha yeahhh don't see that happening."

For what it's worth.

 

[sazc]

good, dont get married. You can use the new tax laws as a reason. It's less expensive to stay single and co-habituate, baby will still be on your medical anyways.

if you are too worried it will look beta on here if you tell her to knock off the liking, why are you posting about it here? the only solution is for you to tell her to stop - you dont like that soluition. what are you looking for?

 

[cityboy989]

good, dont get married. You can use the new tax laws as a reason. It's less expensive to stay single and co-habituate, baby will still be on your medical anyways.

if you are too worried it will look beta on here if you tell her to knock off the liking, why are you posting about it here? the only solution is for you to tell her to stop - you dont like that soluition. what are you looking for?

Good? Lmao, their friend asked her when they're getting married and she told him she doesn't see it happening?? Wtf?

 

[Billtx49]

Good? Lmao, their friend asked her when they're getting married and she told him she doesn't see it happening?? Wtf?

Yes, the message from his gf keeps staring him in the face, but he refuses to see it. He only wants his current mindset validated, which won’t happen here on SS…

 

[randalljohnson]

Excuse me

 

[cityboy989]

Yes, the message from his gf keeps staring him in the face, but he refuses to see it. He only wants his current mindset validated, which won’t happen here on SS…

Theres only 2 possibilities that are in favor of Randall. 1) she was joking or 2) she, for some reason, doesn't believe that he wants to be married (Which is pretty unbelievable considering he's her beta provider.

Randall, were you tagged in the post where she said that?... because to me, it sounds like she either accidentally got pregnant (for the 2nd time in her life. Oops!) Or she got pregnant to lock you and/or your assets down. Oldest trick in the book.

 

[sazc]

Theres only 2 possibilities that are in favor of Randall. 1) she was joking or 2) she, for some reason, doesn't believe that he wants to be married (Which is pretty unbelievable considering he's her beta provider.

Randall, were you tagged in the post where she said that?... because to me, it sounds like she either accidentally got pregnant (for the 2nd time in her life. Oops!) Or she got pregnant to lock you and/or your assets down. Oldest trick in the book.

Sure may not want to headache of being married again (I assume she was already married?) I don't need to get married again. I'm cool with co habitating but I won't be missing my assets with anyone else's. I assumed that's where her head is.

Otherwise, yea, Randall is her newest child support meal ticket!

From what I recall, she and Randall had discussed having a child "at some point" and then she turned up pregnant without actually clearing it with him.

 

[Billtx49]

Yep, the nonaccident accident in search of a meal ticket…
While she seeks attention from other men.…
Classic story of a man getting played well beyond the mans belief system.

 

[randalljohnson]

Theres only 2 possibilities that are in favor of Randall. 1) she was joking or 2) she, for some reason, doesn't believe that he wants to be married (Which is pretty unbelievable considering he's her beta provider.

Randall, were you tagged in the post where she said that?... because to me, it sounds like she either accidentally got pregnant (for the 2nd time in her life. Oops!) Or she got pregnant to lock you and/or your assets down. Oldest trick in the book.

Yes I was tagged in the post. She tagged me in the album of pics she uploaded and this conversation was in the comments.

 

[randalljohnson]

Sure may not want to headache of being married again (I assume she was already married?) I don't need to get married again. I'm cool with co habitating but I won't be missing my assets with anyone else's. I assumed that's where her head is.

Otherwise, yea, Randall is her newest child support meal ticket!

From what I recall, she and Randall had discussed having a child "at some point" and then she turned up pregnant without actually clearing it with him.

No, she was never married.

 

[sazc]

No, she was never married.

Two baby Daddy's but never married?

 

[Billtx49]

Two baby Daddy's but never married?

Something wrong with her, and he’s taking her at face value only…

Or he’s a skillful troll seeking attention… but then this is about the fourth time I thought he was a troll…
At any rate, he’s fun to play with.

 

[randalljohnson]

Two baby Daddy's but never married?

That's right. But you could say the same for me. Two baby mom's but never married. And it's not like she has 2 baby daddy's and is with a new man. She's with me, the father of her soon-to-be 2nd child.

I've said this in the past, but don't you think there's no way she'd leave me considering she knows the baggage of having all of her personal problems, plus two children by two men?

 

[Billtx49]

@randalljohnson, Denial is not just a river in Egypt…

 

[sazc]

That's right. But you could say the same for me. Two baby mom's but never married. And it's not like she has 2 baby daddy's and is with a new man. She's with me, the father of her soon-to-be 2nd child.

I've said this in the past, but don't you think there's no way she'd leave me considering she knows the baggage of having all of her personal problems, plus two children by two men?

I disagree with your statement. I think, if she becomes unhappy enough, and does the math to see how much support cash she will get each month, and it is enough, sure will leave.

You have to understand, this woman is pregnant with your child and wants nothing to do with marrying you and creating a union, on paper, filed with the state. That alone, that, after her first experience being an unwed single mother, she would go ahead and do it again, indicates that she has disturbing thought patterns.

Smart women who want to have a baby no to find a man they can create a solid family with, meaning they WANT to marry this man. This is one reason why I was in my 30s and childless, because I was waiting for a man I wanted to be with, that I wanted to marry and create a family with. Because I understand that children deserve this.

None of what I just said matters to her. She is not IN LOVE with you like that. She is not swooning over you, how you treat her, etc. She does not want to marry you. She doesn't want to tie herself to you like that, she just wants to have a baby.

That's huge.

You are trying to convince yourself that, the fact that she would have your baby, means that she WANTS to be tied to you forever.

In actually, the fact that she wants to have your baby, means that she wants to be tied to your wallet, for 18 years.

Have you told her you saw the comment about "ummmm no" in regards to getting married, and asked her what her reservations would be? That conversation with be enlightening. You would be able to glean if she was just in it for the payout, or if there are truly issues inside of the relationship that you both could work on together.

I realize that I am not promoting an alpha male lifestyle, but at this point you should really come to understand what her true motivations are.

On the flip side, go to the gym work on yourself dress better look better be more dominant male, and you may end up being one of those guys in her life. And that would be good for your relationship.

 

[cityboy989]

I disagree with your statement. I think, if she becomes unhappy enough, and does the math to see how much support cash she will get each month, and it is enough, sure will leave.

You have to understand, this woman is pregnant with your child and wants nothing to do with marrying you and creating a union, on paper, filed with the state. That alone, that, after her first experience being an unwed single mother, she would go ahead and do it again, indicates that she has disturbing thought patterns.

Smart women who want to have a baby no to find a man they can create a solid family with, meaning they WANT to marry this man. This is one reason why I was in my 30s and childless, because I was waiting for a man I wanted to be with, that I wanted to marry and create a family with. Because I understand that children deserve this.

None of what I just said matters to her. She is not IN LOVE with you like that. She is not swooning over you, how you treat her, etc. She does not want to marry you. She doesn't want to tie herself to you like that, she just wants to have a baby.

That's huge.

You are trying to convince yourself that, the fact that she would have your baby, means that she WANTS to be tied to you forever.

In actually, the fact that she wants to have your baby, means that she wants to be tied to your wallet, for 18 years.

Have you told her you saw the comment about "ummmm no" in regards to getting married, and asked her what her reservations would be? That conversation with be enlightening. You would be able to glean if she was just in it for the payout, or if there are truly issues inside of the relationship that you both could work on together.

I realize that I am not promoting an alpha male lifestyle, but at this point you should really come to understand what her true motivations are.

On the flip side, go to the gym work on yourself dress better look better be more dominant male, and you may end up being one of those guys in her life. And that would be good for your relationship.

Like I said, getting "accidentally pregnant" is the oldest trick in the book. I believe this Randall guy said he has a history of psycho exes...hmm...I suppose his first kids mother is the same way?...

I also remember him once saying she made a snide remark about "God help whoever the photographer is the day he gets married." "Busting his balls" about his looks.

Randall still hasn't said whether her comment about them not getting married was sarcasm or she genuinely doesn' see them getting married (even though they've done everything BUT get married.) Definitely shaping up to look like she's just enjoying the free ride he's presently giving her.

And I don' think your advice about him going to the gym will help Randall much. She's indirectly told him that she finds her exes/other men more attractive than him anyway. The guy doesn't make her wet. And that is a BIG problem, considering she's still a young woman. (28 or 30, whatever she is.) He's her beta provider and she doesn't even wanna marry him to lock things up between them. Sad.

 

[cityboy989]

Yep, the nonaccident accident in search of a meal ticket…
While she seeks attention from other men.…
Classic story of a man getting played well beyond the mans belief system.

I'm sure she has HPD. Probably BPD/NPD also.

 

[randalljohnson]

I disagree with your statement. I think, if she becomes unhappy enough, and does the math to see how much support cash she will get each month, and it is enough, sure will leave.

You have to understand, this woman is pregnant with your child and wants nothing to do with marrying you and creating a union, on paper, filed with the state. That alone, that, after her first experience being an unwed single mother, she would go ahead and do it again, indicates that she has disturbing thought patterns.

Smart women who want to have a baby no to find a man they can create a solid family with, meaning they WANT to marry this man. This is one reason why I was in my 30s and childless, because I was waiting for a man I wanted to be with, that I wanted to marry and create a family with. Because I understand that children deserve this.

None of what I just said matters to her. She is not IN LOVE with you like that. She is not swooning over you, how you treat her, etc. She does not want to marry you. She doesn't want to tie herself to you like that, she just wants to have a baby.

That's huge.

You are trying to convince yourself that, the fact that she would have your baby, means that she WANTS to be tied to you forever.

In actually, the fact that she wants to have your baby, means that she wants to be tied to your wallet, for 18 years.

Have you told her you saw the comment about "ummmm no" in regards to getting married, and asked her what her reservations would be? That conversation with be enlightening. You would be able to glean if she was just in it for the payout, or if there are truly issues inside of the relationship that you both could work on together.

I realize that I am not promoting an alpha male lifestyle, but at this point you should really come to understand what her true motivations are.

On the flip side, go to the gym work on yourself dress better look better be more dominant male, and you may end up being one of those guys in her life. And that would be good for your relationship.

I just believe that she loves me more than to pull the wool over my eyes like that. She would seriously leave her home, cohabitate, mix our family's together, and start a family together... just to get in my pockets and have a free ride for now? Is that what you're getting at?

 

[dude99]

She would seriously leave her home, cohabitate, mix our family's together, and start a family together... just to get in my pockets and have a free ride for now? Is that what you're getting at?

This paricidical pattern of women using guys to pay their bills is nothing new bud. You will still be on the hook even when she leaves you for the next guy.

This is exaclty what saczs is getting at.