Embrace Rejection

[marmel75]

Cool, what's the strategy to overcome rejection? This topic has be discussed before and thousand of times afterwards. You being a lady, the post sounds more like you're trying brag that you have the "most alpha" boyfriend ever then trying to help men. It's very obvious.

To not care about it. If you arent being rejected, you arent talking to enough women.

 

[marmel75]

Context is useful. Men at all levels struggle with rejection. That's the point. Rejection is universal. Rise above it.

If you don't like me that's cool.

His buddies are not nerds. That's the thing. Yet they still worry about what women think. They still fear rejection from the women they really want. One is a retired NBA player who is plenty successful as an executive & decent looking (very tall obviously, maybe 6'7" or so) and is just rather awkward socially. He's smart & warm once he gets to chatting. No issue socializing with men...but awkward with women he likes.

The other man is himself about 6'3", has a different look than the BF, although is just as handsome and is in better shape (good muscular athletic build I'd guess him to weigh between 190 & 195.) He does great in group banter and women find him attractive but he hates the cold approach. Like really hates it. He's a smart social guy. Somewhat reserved but warm. He gets dates & then after a few dates things fizzle. The ones he doesn't care about chase him. The ones he likes he scares off probably by over thinking & losing frame.

Likely because he becomes outcome dependent.

Both of these men have more financial means than my BF (who does well). So money isn't selecting the girls for them like people think it will. Money and looks and status aren't everything.

Social skills are important too. The rejections are lessons in social skills. Not every chick will dig you. No worries...drive on. I see people here saying when I make X amount of money I'll approach. When I'm in college I'll approach. When I've got the perfect woman picked out I'll approach. Etc etc.

Talk to everybody. Learn to care less what others think. At its core that is what rejection is: allowing someone external to determine your value. Improve your life, increase your value & know your worth. You'll care less and experience less anxiety to chat to women.

@zekko he carries that reputation. He earned it fair & square from what I can tell before he met me. I don't track his every move. I just don't have the energy for that. So far his actions line up with his words. But I can't know for certain what he does every waking second. If he screws around I'll drop him. He knows that. Same goes for me where he's concerned. He likes the BF/GF labels (his idea) and he constantly talking future plans. So I don't really worry about him still playing.

Sounds like the men are too afraid to make any moves towards escalation on the dates.

 

[TheProspect]

Agree that this is not of male interest.

Why? Does content authored by women bother you to the point you feel obligated to immediately ridicule it, simply because a women authored it?

Or was it her blatant "DHV" that bothers you? (Which would be hypocritical of you to call out as you yourself are guilty of doing the same thing when you bicker with others on this forum, albeit far more subtly)

I'm sure her message regarding rejection didn't go over your head, so why do you choose to bring no value to the conversation? Even if you don't see any value in the original post, you don't improve the quality of the discourse by being a douche.

Deesade, you excel at the cold approach. In my opinion, if anyone is close to an expert on this topic (embracing rejection), it's you. I mean that with 100% sincerity. You have the immense capacity to bring value on this particular topic for anyone who opens this thread and instead you decide to contribute nothing and ultimately waste everybody's time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Tell yourself she's on her period.

I prefer herpes outbreak.

-edit, I just checked Google, and those words in quotes come up with zero search results. I think no one has ever said that sentence.

 

[Trump]

After attending a wedding this past weekend with the boyfriend we got to talking about some of his buddies. These are men with some success in life under their belt, fit, attractive men...they own their own homes, drive nice cars, have good careers, are physically attractive (usually 7-8's) dress well and are cool to hang out with...and who fumble more often than not with women.

Lots of people are like that. One has nothing to do with the other.

My boyfriend (who is known as a player) often opens women for a couple of his buddies, creates attraction, and then passes the women off to his friends. He's a great wing for his pals. But the attraction often fizzles between the women and the friend either at the initial introduction or after a few dates, even after the warm introduction. So the BF and I were discussing why this is.

I think it is a combination of things. I think that the women become attracted to the BF (who is a mad confident 8.5 or so at 6'4" tall, dark & handsome with a very sexually forward vibe), and their attraction for him doesn't translate over to his buddies all that well in the first place and this ties into what the BF thinks the problem is, which is the fear of rejection that his buddies have. That fear of rejection then manifests itself into the analysis paralysis that we often see behind posts here.

Your boyfriend is:

a) 6'4
b) extremely confident
c) tall
d) dark
e) handsome

But it's "fear of rejection" holding his buddies back? Come on dear, you can't introduce variables that are very sexy to women, completely ignore those variables, then introduce new psychological variables as the reason some men aren't sexy to women.

It's has to be a level playing field.

You know, the what should I say, how should I text her, the over thinking of Every. Single. Move. And the overthinking kills the natural flow of the interaction and sooner or later kills attraction and interest level.

The not being 6'4 doesn't help either.

We both agree that if his buddies would open their own women their success rates would go way up. But they really don't like the possibility of rejection and they get wishy washy about making the approach themselves.

My BF has no fear of rejection. None. Zilch, Zero, Nada. Furthermore he expects a positive reception from women he opens and this routinely fulfills itself. He is a nice looking man but there are men who are more handsome, richer, fitter etc. (although he is a handsome total package), but he can meet anyone, open any woman from an 18 year old to an 80 year old; he is fearless. Does he get snubbed some? Sure. But he doesn't care. It doesn't bother him at all. And that really is the secret.

He doesn't care because he is having SEX with YOU. With you in his back pocket, he can ask a Hollywood actress out. Even if the girl says YES, he can't do anything.

When you have a backup, your position is THAT much stronger.

And don't tell me I'm a chick and I don't understand.

You are a chick and don't understand.

That's true but it's not that different than asking for a sale or taking the risk of rejection in a professional negotiation (which I do routinely). The worst someone can say is no! (Ok sometimes it might be Hell No & Go Away) but honestly learn to handle that and you'll become fearless. Fearlessness is sexy!

Embrace the rejection. Quit overthinking everything. Relax.

To your success Gents!

Or you get some height and you won't have to worry about rejection.

"Embracing rejection" is the wrong mentality. Instead of trying to connect with a woman, you are in the mindset of thinking it's a positive thing to get rejected. That's kind of ridiculous.

The advice I would give: do anything you can to connect with any girl, but not at the expense of your self respect or power.

 

[zekko]

6'4", 6'7", and 6'3".
Them is some tall mofos!

 

[Murk]

She only f*cks with giants, ex pro athletes and demigods.

 

[DreamAgain]

She only f*cks with giants, ex pro athletes and demigods.

Going to laugh when she figures out this guy is plating her.

 

[sosousage]

Im confused....

Your boyfriend creates attraction between himself and these women and then tries to hand them over to his friends to date?

As if the attraction the women have for your boyfriend will transfer to his friends?

And the women won't feel let down, or like a commodity for being passed off like that?

Is that what you are saying?

plus there can be only one player in a group, they'd be better kicking him off group lol otherwise all woomen will just look at the hottest guy instead

 

[Murk]

Going to laugh when she figures out this guy is plating her.

She prob already knows hence the over compensation of his "loyalty"

 

[guru1000]

"Embracing rejection" is the wrong mentality. Instead of trying to connect with a woman, you are in the mindset of thinking it's a positive thing to get rejected. That's kind of ridiculous.

The advice I would give: do anything you can to connect with any girl, but not at the expense of your self respect or power.

You need not try to connect with her at all. That's her job. Just go there, have fun, amuse yourself, and escalate.

As to the rejection part: If you're not getting rejected, you're not striving high enough nor with any exorbitant amount of women. Donald Trump or Donald Duck: Rejection is part of the game.

How to deal with it? Get rejected more. Habituate.

There are times where I purposefully seek rejection as my verbal is so tight, I seem to score 100%, and I want to see how far I can go and what I can get away with. Other times, I'm off. I realized late in this game, I was only off on those select times as I embraced her approval, as opposed to her rejection. Tiny distinction of words. Huge difference.

 

[Macaframalama]

Correct. Seriously correct, no kidding. I actually do not have him on lock down. He has himself on lock down. I give him all the rope he wants and observe his behavior. Then I mirror his behavior in my own way (what is good for the goose is good for the gander.) If he comes closer I come closer. If he flirts with other women, I am conversational with other men. This is a feedback mechanism of sorts that quietly sets and enforces the boundaries but his behavior drives it. The fatal mistake 99% of women make with a man like this is A.) Trying to lock him down *impossible* and B.) Trying to dictate his behavior *even more impossible*

This is a perfect example of that next level mack chit of emotion investing, that very few people get. It's not for the insecure or faint of heart. Done properly it's like a dance and stimulating. It is seduction. Y'all better catch up folks.

 

[guru1000]

I give him all the rope he wants and observe his behavior. Then I mirror his behavior in my own way (what is good for the goose is good for the gander.) If he comes closer I come closer. If he flirts with other women, I am conversational with other men.

This is a perfect example of that next level mack chit of emotion investing, that very few people get.

BE, that sounds like some Guru chit right there