nicksaiz65 Odyssey

[nicksaiz65]

1/26/18: Isolation

Update real quick for you guys cause anything to put off actually doing my programming lab lol.

Pretty boring, lonely night. Everyone’s out at the clubs but I’m alone in my room doing homework. Sucks, but I’ve got a lab and speech due tomorrow and it’ll pay off when I get my 4.0 this semester. Unfortunately, I didn’t get in any violin practice today so I’ll do that tomorrow. But I’m just posting this so that when I see my awesome GPA at the end of the semester, I can look back, read this, and be like “I definitely put in the work and I was doing what I needed to do.”

Idk what’s up with my emotions lately lol. Like a lot of the time I’m lonely, but at the same time I don’t wanna go see people cause I’m not in the mood for ignorance and trap music. Maybe I’m just drained from constant self improvement. My PSP died recently so I haven’t honestly just relaxed in maybe a week and a half. I lowkey need to meet some new people, man. But I’m not gonna look too deep into it. I’m just gonna do this programming lab perfectly and hit chest hard tomorrow so that I can get my emotions in check.

SIDENOTE:
One of the things I’d love to do someday is write a book. I love reading, so it’s something that I’ve always wanted to do. The first one would be some kind of fiction. But secondly, once I’m qualified, I’d love to write a book on self improvement, Seduction, and how to get the most out of life from a young age. I feel like my circumstances are unique enough that I could offer a different perspective on that kind of thing. But you all tell me, what do you think about that?

 

[Murk]

I like your writing style, maybe ditch the nerd guitar and pick up a pen.

Send some pics of your fade. What’s wrong with just going to a barber every 2 weeks?

Also, here in the UK plenty black guys shuffle, I myself love house, deep tech house, it’s all I rave to these days. The moves are easily learned out in the field (like pickup), you will struggle doing it at home in your socks on a smooth surface in front of a mirror (I’ve been there).

Anyway just bang the hb5/6 bro beggars cant be chooses and all that masturbation is not doing you any good bro.

I look forward to more updates.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I like your writing style, maybe ditch the nerd guitar and pick up a pen.

Send some pics of your fade. What’s wrong with just going to a barber every 2 weeks?

Also, here in the UK plenty black guys shuffle, I myself love house, deep tech house, it’s all I rave to these days. The moves are easily learned out in the field (like pickup), you will struggle doing it at home in your socks on a smooth surface in front of a mirror (I’ve been there).

Anyway just bang the hb5/6 bro beggars cant be chooses and all that masturbation is not doing you any good bro.

I look forward to more updates.

Thank you! I actually wrote short stories when I was young for about 5 years. I really need to pick it back up again. One of these days I’ll get around to writing some books, but I’m really out of practice at the moment.

And haha sorry but I can’t ditch the music bro. It’s one of my passions, I’ve been doing violin forever and I’ve made too many beats to quit now. Random aside, the violin has gotten me laid before(with the “right” kind of music) so as long as I use it right it would be a good tool for me.

I usually go get a haircut every 2 weeks, but lately I’ve kinda gotten obsessed with the idea of self cutting. My hair grows really fast these days. You know how a week after you get a haircut it’s still faded kinda but it’s not really bald and crisp? I wanna prevent that, if I learn to self cut I could give myself a haircut every week, on my schedule, and look sharp 24/7. Also, since I’m keeping the top at a 2 guard I need to be faded at all times to keep that deep waves look or it’ll look like an Afro. A 2 is a decent amount of hair.

That’s good to hear about the EDM! Makes me feel a lot better. I’m working on improving the quality of my tracks and still trying to learn to shuffle. People make it look so easy, but it’s really hard and exhausting really. I’ve been slacking on the practice cause school but maybe I’ll get some in this weekend. EDM is what keeps me going through the week honestly. Who all do you listen to?

Yeah I agree now that my inner Game has improved its time to break my little dry spell. So hopefully I don’t get any resistance of “oh I barely know you” or shyt like that. If I don’t know how to fvck right with these hotter girls I’m pretty much dead in the water. Gonna get in some cold approach later tonight if possible too at my job so I’m not salty over that whole Girlfriend situation haha.

Thanks for reading! And don’t worry, I foresee continuing this journal for a looooong time until I’m exactly where I wanna be.

 

[nicksaiz65]

i wouldnt quit the violin ever. maybe take breaks but never outright quit.

i grew up listening to ALL kinds of music but rock music was always my first love, even over hip-hop .i started learning guitar at 14-15. i made the mistake of selling my gear a few years later because i got into other things and always felt "well i got good and know i can get better any time i want". big mistake. although im still sharp because i picked it up again in my 20s, id be even better if i never stopped. it was never even about girls. i could give 2 fvcks if theyre impressed or not. i just love my music.

same thing with drawing. i used to use whatever i had at my disposal and draw some pretty cool pictures. i had sketchbooks full of charcoal drawings, pen and pencils, etc it got the to the point people would STEAL my drawings. like wtf, who does that???

girls look cute when they can shuffle, but its never something id do personally.then again, im not much into dancing lol i figure i come from a family of dancers, why do i need to do it?

as for the haircut, do it yourself if you cant really afford a weekly cut. otherwise, i wouldnt do my own haircuts. a good barber is indispensable. i know exactly what you mean. ive been to barbers who give me a simple 2 all around with a shape or tapeup and my hair seems to grow back in within days. the better guys give you a fade and itll last like 2 weeks. big difference. the same guy has been cutting my hair for about 9 years for this reason

Yeah I feel you on the music front. I’ve been playing since I was 5. My first love was classical music, and it started to branch out to EDM hip hop, and eventually making beats from there. I’ve just got a strong passion for music too. Getting girls with it is nice, but it’s not the main motivator like you said. You gotta keep playing cause once you stop it goes away. Congrats on keeping it up!

I’m so indecisive on the shuffling lol. On one hand I think it’s cool, but on the other hand I’d really rather not work hard on something and get flamed for it. So honest thoughts? From no rhythm to a shuffle would it look cool?

Glad to know it’s not just me who has that haircut problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to replace the barber at all. There’s nothing like a professional haircut. I’m just trying to be able to clean myself up every other week I don’t go to the barber so that I stay fresh. I’m gonna keep self cutting every other week unless I end up plugging myself. Then I’ll probably get so mad that I’ll throw my clippers out the window and quit lmao.

SHUFFLE:
On second thought, I’m thinking I’m gonna do the shuffle. I mean I think it looks impressive and at the end of the day I gotta do it for me anyway. I mean worst case I get flamed a bit and I’ve gained some rhythm. So that’s not even bad!

 

[nicksaiz65]

Observation
Still been working on that self acceptance thing and that “I don’t have to be perfectly socially calibrated, it’s cool if I’m a nerd.” And you know what? It makes socializing soooooo much easier. I feel so much more comfortable talking to anyone honestly. I’m not constantly worried about saying the perfect thing or thinking that there’s something wrong with me. Feels good bro.

 

[nicksaiz65]

1/28/18: The End of the Inner Game Saga...
Sauce Up

I’m pretty dang tired now. Played a show the night before the last and I went to a party last night. So I wanted to do a quick update.

Hair
Went to the barber I got a nice 2 WTG and Fade. I can see the waves! I posted a pic and people were like “my dude is Ocean Wavy.” So they’re coming in. I’d like them more visible though. So I’m gonna grow my hair out and continue to brush and comb.

The End of the Inner Game Saga
Been reading through this journal and the main thing that I’ve been working on is Inner Game. And looking back at some of my old posts, I’d definitely say that I’ve made drastic improvements. But now, it’s time to shift my focus to some other stuff. When you beat(or at least fix up) some problems, new ones go to take their place. So now instead of insecurities, I’m gonna focus on “inadequacies”, which stop me from living my best life. Competence is confidence, after all and I really need to get as far as I can. It’s amazing to me how far I’ve come since not being able to talk to people without having a breakdown and I wanna keep that progress up. If I continue fighting the inadequacies for one month, I should most definitely have made progress towards being a Don Juan. So in other words, I’m finally moving onto the outer game side of things.

Outer Game Stuff that I Wanna Fix:
Grades/Being Responsible and not Lazy
Fitness(mainly getting abs. This’ll make a big difference)
Improving my Music so I can be Confident in it
More Fashion
DANCING
Hair
Finishing up these books, New Game Plus and The Alabaster Girl

So I’m gonna work exclusively on these 5 things in terms of my Don Juan improvement. I’m gonna do that until March 1st. If I do that, there should be a drastic improvement in terms of my Don Juan. I’ve got a loooooong way to go, but I know it can be done.

 

[nicksaiz65]

1/29/18: New Game Plus Review

Well since I’m on a study break I think I’ll post an update for today.

Workouts
Chest day today. I had a kickass workout today.
Turns out a lot of my old strength is still there, I was able to hit 225 on the bench press today. Ran it back with 30 minutes of cardio. So I’m making good progress in the gym. Feeling healthier in general, gonna make myself a super athlete one of these days.

My Old One-Itis
So today I realized that I’ve lost all attraction for my old one-itis that I work with. I’ll acknowledge that she’s physically attractive, but it doesn’t do anything for me anymore. So I’m just using her for social practice at this point. One thing that’s funny is when I started talking to her like a real person(talking about alcohol and Drake and stuff like that) and ignoring her a bit and not being so damn clingy, she reacted way better to me. So I’m gonna have to act like this around everyone, pretty much. If there’s one good thing that came out of this, it’s that this made me realize enough is enough. I’m sick and tired of these flakes, and the women I want being fvcked by other people every time. And lo and behold, after that I started improving my regular life and my life as a Don Juan.

Hygiene
One of the reasons I think I’ve struggled with this area of my life in the past is my breath. My breath has really gotten out of control sometimes. So I’m brushing my teeth 3 times a day, flossing and tongue scraping too. And I copped one of those breath sprays. This bad breath problem ends today.

New Chicks
I hit up that HB5 to try and hang out again but she was like she’s busy that day and I didn’t get a counter-offer. So this may or may not be a flake. I’m just gonna hit up 2-3 different HBs in the meantime. This bull crap won’t happen nearly as much once I’m done self improving, but at the moment it’s really annoying. But since I’m in college, can you guys suggest some places for me to meet new women? The parties I go to it’s literally the exact same people. And I can’t even dance yet anyways. And Tinder is really absolute garbage. So can you guys help me on that so I can get some new prospects?

New Game Plus Review
Long story short, this book is just amazing. It tells the story of Dr. Nerdlove, and it’s exactly what it says: a total guide for clueless nerdy dudes on how to get women. He covers inner Game, outer Game, flirting, how to generate attraction, dates, anything you could want to know. He dropped knowledge, and I feel like I’ve been given the keys. At this point, I’m just about done reading Seduction books. It’s action time. I’ve read almost 5 full books at this point. Maybe I’ll start reading The Alabaster Girl for fun this weekend, but I feel like at this point I know what I need to do. I just have to get out there, take those risks, and do it. So that’s what I’ll be doing for the next month. The book is amazing. And for $5? You can buy a s sandwich for $5. I’d recommend that everyone read it, I’d give it a 9/10.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Something Hilarious
Not doing a full numbered update today cause not enough has happened since the last one. I just wanted to tell y’all a really funny story real quick. Just more conformation that everything on this site is true and we have all the keys. So today one of the girls at my college put together a list of the “hottest dudes” at Tennessee Tech. And some of the dudes on there were ugly AF! (no homo) But the dudes at the very top, they were on there because of SOCIAL STATUS. Mentioned in the DJ Bible. And the dudes who were on there also either DRESSED REALLY NICE or WERE BUFF AS HELL. As Pook says, it doesn’t matter if you’re ugly or beautiful... all girls see is masculinity and testosterone. So it’s really come to this... to become a super player I’m gonna have to get the body of a Greek God. And learn to take better selfies lol. I’ll bet if you followed everything on this site religiously for a few years, it would be impossible not to be a Don Juan. This just proves that everything on this site is totally accurate again.

 

[nicksaiz65]

2/1/18: Black History Month

I’ve got a minute and I’m sick of studying. So here’s a very quick update.

Room
My room is totally out of control. Working on cleaning that. I’m gonna end my being a slob once and for all this semester.

Workouts
Been good about the nutrition, workouts are paying off. Getting slimmer. Annoying how people hog the squat rack even at 7 AM though. Guess I’m just gonna have to wait outside the gym at 5:55 AM on push day and leg day.

Dancing
I’m on my BS. Haven’t practiced in weeks. And this is one of the most important things for being a Don Juan. So I’ll get some in today.

Hair
So I’ve been talking to some Wavers on Facebook just getting tips. Some people told me there’s nothing wrong with waves and a fade. And the journey is coming on nicely. Gotta stop sleeping without my durag though. And the only way this is gonna work is if I know how to cut my own **** with these Wahl Color Pros. Gonna learn a few different fades just for variety.

Music
Have a whole concert program to put together for violin this semester. It’s gonna be tough, so I better practice as much as possible. I’m doing 2 new lofi hip hop beats now. I’m gonna work on them for the next month so I can mix and master them absolutely perfectly. Gonna get an audio reactor too. I’m working on spending more time on these beats and letting them sit so that they sound better.

The Alabaster Girl
This book is awesome so far. Very abstract while giving you useful information. I’m only 3% in on the Kindle but I really like it.

But yeah guys. My next class is in an hour. Let’s see if this coffee date with HB Cyan goes through or not. Multiple prospects always, right?

 

[nicksaiz65]

2/4/18: Cold Approach 2... Turn Inwards

What’s up Sosuave fam. Happy Super Bowl Sunday. So I feel terrible, I think I’ve caught a cold. Since I’m just laying in bed, I’m gonna update my journal.

Bytches
So I hit up this girl on Tinder. She was decently cute! I was talking all sexual to her, and it turned out she was roommates with a girl that I smashed in the past and cut off. And she was like “You know I’m roommates with x, I’m not tryna f you.” And so what did I do? Just stopped responding. Not gonna let bytches waste my time. I would say Tinder is trash... but I still see potential there. Because one of my friends met a sorority girl at a completely different school there and got invited to a pajama party. So I just need to improve my looks and keep updating the profile. But this led me to...

Cold Approach
So for my more recent readers who don’t know, I play violin in a bar in a band for my job. I decided that today I was gonna cold approach my butt off and be extremely social. Even if the people were older than me, I was still gonna do it. So I did a good job being social and talking to lots of people. My conversations were on point. My social skills are honestly starting to get better and better. So I cold approached a couple girls. A couple of them were older than me but I just went in for fun. They were **** testing me, like “are you cool enough to sit with us?” but I handled it with extreme confidence. In the end they were literally feeling me up on my chest(thanks Scooby workouts) and ended up kissing me on the cheek. My approach anxiety is really getting under total control at this point. I use the 3 second rule, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve chickened out of an approach. It’s not the approach I need to work on, it’s what comes after. For my second approach, I hit up this beautiful blond woman who was with her friend. I already had the social proof of playing in the band. So I approached with extreme confidence. She wasn’t feeling me at first. But I was chill, confident, and outgoing. As I kept on talking, she started to warm up to me, and laughed at my jokes and all that. But before I went to my next set, I made a critical mistake. I hesitated, and I didn’t ask for her number. The reason I didn’t ask is because she was with her friend. Is it bad to ask for a woman’s number when she was with her friend or no? How can I handle that? I might make a separate thread on this. But the mistakes I made don’t stop there...

Oops... Messed up a chance to get laid
I had a date set up with HB Brynna today. I was gonna go over to her place and everything. But my ass somehow oversleeps and we have to reschedule. I’m sure she’s feeling me, but damn.

My Life
Now that I’ve worked on my inner Game, I think a big part of the reason that my game falls apart is that my life is in shambles. Some people can pull women like that. But I can’t. Nerds like me have to be exceptional, have every aspect of their lives together if they wanna pull AND be successful. So, I’m gonna take Pook’s advice. FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS, I AM GOING TO PUT THE FOCUS ENTIRELY ON ME. I’m just going to be thinking... how can I get my shyt together? And let getting the women be a side effect, just something that I do. Not even something that I’m overtly worried about. I know what a professional nerd who has their life together looks like. I know what a swagged out nerd looks like. NOW I JUST HAVE TO PUT MY LIFE TOGETHER SO THAT I CAN HAVE BOTH. This’ll be my project for the next 2 months, and I think that I’ll see dividends.

Gym
Been consistent on the workouts. Been keeping a gym log, strength is increasing. 5 people commented on how swole I’m looking. So I’m seeing results. Gonna start taking side pics so I can see my belly reducing. It’s impossible to use the squat rack no matter what time I go. Even at 6 AM. So I’m gonna start coming at 5:55 AM and get in there as soon as the gym opens. Cause machine workouts aren’t ideal. I’ve gotta lose this fat gut and get abs to reach the next level. I’m not gonna be TRULY confident in myself until I do. Side note, I copped some Vega Protein and Greens protein powder. Very healthy, pretty tasty. I’ve always wanted a vegetarian protein powder lol.

Hair Journey
Still keeping the waves and a fade. I’ve still been talking to lots of elite Wavers on Facebook. They recommend that I cut my hair on top at a 2.5. It’s a lot of hair, but if I train it my hair will literally look like an ocean. So I’m using As I Am Double Butter Creme and growing my hair yet again.

Reading
I’ve been still reading The Alabaster Girl. Good book so far, but I haven’t really read enough to form a solid opinion yet. I’ve also been reading a lot on The Red Pill. Honestly, I agree with a lot of what they say. Looks, Money, Status. The keys to success.

My 21st Birthday
My 21st is next weekend. Man, am I gonna be wasted. And this is improvement in itself because alcohol is one of the keys to success with women.

But there we go Sosuave fam. Super long update, good progress being made. In the next 2 months, as I go on my personal transformation, I feel like things will get a lot better. The problems come from my whole life, so I just gotta fix it.

 

[fastlife]

New Chicks
I hit up that HB5 to try and hang out again but she was like she’s busy that day and I didn’t get a counter-offer. So this may or may not be a flake. I’m just gonna hit up 2-3 different HBs in the meantime. This bull crap won’t happen nearly as much once I’m done self improving, but at the moment it’s really annoying. But since I’m in college, can you guys suggest some places for me to meet new women? The parties I go to it’s literally the exact same people. And I can’t even dance yet anyways. And Tinder is really absolute garbage. So can you guys help me on that so I can get some new prospects?

You don’t have to dance lol. You know what dance floor game is? You grind on the girl; she makes out with you; you might even finger her...then the lights come on, she doesn’t know you, her friends drag her away, she’s already validated, you spiked her buying temperature--and some guy may or may not pick her up on the street lol. The better move is to get her off the dance floor where you can actually talk.


As far as meeting girls, what kind of girls do you like? Personally, I mostly get by on nightlife--but during the day Starbucks, Target, Whole Foods, Cafes, Sushi Places, Restaurants that hire a lot of college girls, etc., should be places you incorporate in your day-to-day life. Hot girls tend to frequent those places.

If you're in college--the pools during the summer/spring, whatever bar does karaoke night, library during finals week, the cafeteria. Those approaches aren’t even cold--you already belong to an overarching social structure. "Wow, you're studying? What a dork." "Shouldn't you be in class?" "Megan, what's up...Wait, you're not Megan. From x party last weekend? Sh1t, I look like a jackazz...well, I'm @nicksaiz65. You're cuter than Megan anyway. " Tons of possibilities--most people in college (unless they're Greek) wish they had a cooler social circle & are super receptive to meeting other people.

The reason I didn’t ask is because she was with her friend. Is it bad to ask for a woman’s number when she was with her friend or no? How can I handle that? I might make a separate thread on this. But the mistakes I made don’t stop there...

Two ways to handle this. 1.) Game the friend a little, get her on your side. "Hey, nice to meet you, I'm @nicksaiz65, HBB's new boyfriend. Do you approve?" (If the girl already like you) OR: "[Friend's name] tell HBB to ask for my number--I know you're tired of hearing about her sh1tty Tinder dates." Then just hold frame

My 21st is next weekend. Man, am I gonna be wasted. And this is improvement in itself because alcohol is one of the keys to success with women.

Alcohol isn't a key to success with women lol. But access is--a lot of venues just opened up for you. Make use of them.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Thanks for the input @fastlife. Definitely going to keep working on these approaches. This is making me wanna watch some more RSD and pick up that Daygame book by Roosh lol. Gonna work on getting out to more parties too

 

[nicksaiz65]

The Internal Monologue of nicksaiz65

Not really too much of an update today. But I’ve got just a lot of thoughts running through my head that I wanna get down so that I can keep making progress.

The Don Juan Transformation
So I was looking back at some of my old posts. I’ve definitely gotten a lot bolder. Back then I was thinking thoughts like “man, I’m so garbage.” That’s disappeared for the most part. I’m doing cold approaches, I’m losing fat, and I’m feeling way more confident. I know that approaches are cool now as long as you’re confident. Heck, one of my friends met his girlfriend in the library! So I’m gonna keep improving, approaching, yada yada yada.

Hair
I know I talk about my hair a lot on here. But hair can really make or break you lol. I changed my mind, today I decided that I’m gonna be a full 360 waver. If I pull this off, the confidence gainz would be tremendous. I’d be able to approach anyone without an iota of doubt. And I can still get that bald “dropped” look by getting a high taper. And that would be way way easier to cut myself and maintain too. Plus it’ll make me a commodity with the women. What dudes are gonna have perfectly connected 360s? None. The fade is dope, yes. But I want to be an elite waver who gathers the highest level of respect. So I’m growing out my hair to keep training it for that. Plus I can use my cheap Wahl Color Pros. Idk why, but I just love those clippers. I wanna get featured on TopWavers with 360 waves and a Self Cut. So I’m just looking at some cool tapers and low fades to get. And once I get them, I’m gonna get some earrings that are twice as big to complete the look. So I’m gonna cut my hair at a number 2 all the way around on March 1st. Not buying anymore clippers though, that money could be used on school lol. Walmart Clippers are fine since I’m just doing a taper or drop fade now.

Bodybuilding
Decided I’m gonna get off my lazy ass and become a full on bodybuilder. Of course, the first step is getting a rock hard six pack.

Talking Secksual
So that HB Brynna Girl is 100% into me. I offered to “give her a massage” yesterday at midnight, and she would’ve taken it but she had 2 papers she had to finish. Plus she’s asking me all these damn questions and sliding in my Snapchat story DMs.So I’m gonna wait a bit and try on that later. It’ll be good to get in some practice. Funny how when I get bold and don’t give an f ish just falls into place huh? It’ll be good to get in practice too. This should totally play out by like Sunday.

Class
Really on that bull shyt. But I’m gonna get back on going to class. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t hit that 4.0.

Who is nicksaiz65?
So every time that I’ve tried to come up in the past, I’ve always been trying to mimic someone. But I decided today f that. I’m gonna come up and be a goat in my own way. Even if it goes against the grain a bit, I’m gonna be me. I’m gonna be the professional, bodybuilding, classical violin, genius, dancing, EDM nicksaiz65. I have a vision in my head of who I want to be and I must achieve it.

My Mundane Day and Cold Approaching
So more proof that approaching is totally cool? Some random girl literally picked up one of my friends in the library for “tutoring help.” So ive been trying to at least talk to a new girl each day. And it’s been going really well. So many cute girls on campus. I definitely need to take control of my life and start getting some new numbers by being outgoing and social though.

 

[nicksaiz65]

1/12/17: Straight Facts

Been thinking, as the focus of this journal moves more away from inner Game, I’m gonna try and make this journal less musing and more doing.

Haircut
Gave myself another fade today. And I have to say, I have myself a fire ass cut. And with some Walmart Clippers! Spent 2 hours trying to making it perfect, but it came out real nice. If you want pictures then DM me. I’d say it’s just a couple steps away from professional. Cut my hair down to a 2 on top, still tryna get these waves more visible. I need to gain the confidence to cut extra sharp hairlines and that’ll bring my cut to the next level. Also I’m gonna fade slightly higher and use straight guidelines instead of curved ones. That’ll give it a more “balded” look.

Vacation
Went on a fraternity conference this weekend along with my 21st. Social skills are getting better, a ton of people seem to really like me. Once again, still getting more compliments on my beats. Working on a new one called “Am I, I Am” that I’ll release at the end of the month. We went to lots of parties. Got danced on by girls at every single one. And don’t worry, I initiated it. Got a swagged out white jacket. Confidence issues really going down.

My Workouts are Paying Off!
Was looking at some pictures of myself from a few months ago. These workouts are definitely paying off. My face is getting way sharper. Now it’s time to actually make myself athletic.

My Voice
I don’t know what happened this weekend, but I’m totally comfortable with my voice now. Probably because I was able to get respect and pull girls without trying to be someone I’m not, I just approached with extreme confidence. So I’ll just work on these tone exercises I keep hearing about so people will stop ignoring me. Someone told me “he gets girls cause they’ve never seen a dude that proper.” So that’s a huge insecurity killed, feels like a weight’s been lifted off my chest.

Money
I gotta start saving money for school. So no more buying new clothes unless I thrifting at Goodwill. I’m more worried about getting fresh through the hair anyway. On a side note, I’ll be getting tatted on May 5th. This’ll help break that nerd stereotype and raise my SMV.

School
Been slacking hard, but I’ve got 2 tests this week. Time to redeem myself and get this 4.0. No more missed classes.

My Job
Y’all, should I quit my job? On one hand working in a bar and getting free food and drinks(and women to approach at work) is great. On the other hand, it’s really annoying to have to hang out with my ex one itis and her boyfriend every single week. I really want to put her on No Contact. But maybe I’m just being petty. I need some source of income to help pay for summer classes though. Comment your thoughts below.

 

[fastlife]

On the other hand, it’s really annoying to have to hang out with my ex one itis and her boyfriend every single week. I really want to put her on No Contact. But maybe I’m just being petty. I need some source of income to help pay for summer classes though. Comment your thoughts below.

Bro, if anything you should stay at that job to get practice not being a little b1tch lol (and I say that in the nicest way possible). You have ONE life; are your really going to let some little internal narrative you constructed in your head (yours, not hers, not shared) dictate how you live your life? This will be situation you'll have to deal with your entire life--time to decide how you want to live it.

NC isn't the cure for oneitis; exposure is. Distance lets you sustain the imagined perception you have of her; proximity dispells that narrative. Right now your ego is getting in the way; the best way to break your ego is to expose it to situation that present you with disparate evidence that goes against your Idealized Self (like dealing with a girl you really want to like you who doesn't give a rats azz about you).

 

[nicksaiz65]

2/17/17: The Hell Week is Over

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads and supports this journals. Means a lot, and I really appreciate the support and advice.

School
This week was horrible. 2 tests, a quiz, and a lab. I don’t feel like I did that well on either test. So my 4.0 is gone. I’ve got to study harder. I guess it’s ok, cause no one’s perfect. But I want to get at least a 3.6 so that I can show off my grades on Snapchat and prove myself lol. So, to that end, I’m just gonna be studying my butt off this weekend and working to really understand this stuff.

Workouts
Because of my bad time management in studying for these tests, I haven’t been to the gym in a week. My nutrition has been off the chain. But it’s ok... I’m gonna manage my time perfectly from now on and get back in the gym. I finally got some running shoes so I can actually start running again without shin splints.
I feel like I’m in such bad shape. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to advance to the next level socially or game wise until I get myself in shape. I’m not concerned about bulking whatsoever. All I care about at this point is getting my strength back, becoming athletic, and seeing abs. 3 people still commented on how swole I’m looking even though I haven’t hit the gym for a week. I need to spend every second I have striving to be the absolute best in life.

Beard, Tattoo
So as you all know I’ve been working to grow a beard. I got 2 comments on it yesterday, so it’s coming in. Also, after this school semester is done, I’m gonna get a nose diamond piercing, and I’m gonna get a half sleeve tattoo. So this will help with that SMV.

Hair
My hair grows super fast now. It’s at a 2.5, which is the length I’m gonna keep it at. Still getting that fade cause 360s are too much work. But now, it’s on. I’m gonna brush for one hour a day like I did last summer to get my hair crazy wavy. Growing my hair out for 4 weeks then I’ll cut back down to the 2.5. And that should establish my wave pattern at that length.

Reading
I’ve been reading The Red Pill Handbook and The Alabaster Girl lately. But, I’m gonna put both of them on hiatus. I’ve gotta take more action to improve my life. I’ve read plenty. At the end of the day, it says about the same thing anyways. Still gonna keep watching RSD during my brush sessions though cause that stuff is awesome. I’m gonna level up my life a few times and THEN I’ll come back to reading theory with fresh eyes.

Instagram Status
Sitting at a comfortable 1,460 followers. I’m gonna shoot for 2,000. And that should be enough since these bytches love social media status so much.

The Power of Music and the HB5
Finished a new beat the other day. Posted it to my Snapchat. Still getting compliments on my music. Which is good, cause I’m shooting for a Diplo producer type swag as a part of my new identity. The HB5 that I’ve been talking to DMed me on it and was like “hey, I’m feeling this.” And then she proceeded to start flirting with me and was asking when we were gonna hang out and all that. So I’m gonna hang out with her if possible this Sunday and see if I can get myself laid lol. I’ll update you and let y’all know how it goes. There is a party on Saturday. Tbh, I’d rather spend the whole weekend in the library and gym. I think that’s a better use of my time, and I can see if I get laid or not this Sunday.

EDIT:
If you’re interested in hearing unprofessional beats that I make for fun, check out my SoundCloud here. Once I finish mixing my new beat, I’ll post some stuff.
https://m.soundcloud.com/hashrvcket

 

[nicksaiz65]

Revised. Cause Issa life thing

 

[nicksaiz65]

Workout Bump
Revising this post cause I thought it was too wordy. Bodybuilding wise, I’m going for the lean, ripped, athletic and aesthetic Route now over a pure bodybuilder. I don’t really care about trying to be the biggest dude in the world anymore. Like bradd80 said, I just gotta be fit and trim. Instead of trying to outswole everyone(very tedious) I’m gonna kill the competition through definition. And be ripped enough so that dudes don’t wanna fight me and yet ladies are attracted to the body. As long as I look like an anime hero, or an R & B singer I’m good. So I’ll be working on this for the next 3 years. Still, the first step is getting rid of my fat gut and seeing abs.

 

[Murk]

If you're aiming to be overlooked from dudes wanting to fight then definition isn't going to do that, you need to get swole.

 

[nicksaiz65]

If you're aiming to be overlooked from dudes wanting to fight then definition isn't going to do that, you need to get swole.

True. I wanna be big but at the same time I want definition, like I wanna be able to see my abs. I’m 5’ 10. Is 205 at 7% bodyfat realistic? Idk what that would look like. Something like Zyzz or GymShark would be the ultimate goal