5 date in been at her house till 2am but only smooched on the sofa how to escalate?

[Jamie12345]

Hi Guys,

I have been seeing this woman since early december been on dates with her and been back to hers to watch netflix in her lounge, but all we have done is smooch passionately o the sofa.

Been to her house 2 or 3 times now mostly late in the day and at hers tills gone midnight but at the end of the night she makes it clear she doesnt want me to stay.

The easy solution to this would be ask her round to my place been seen as i live with my parents thats not a option.

Im taking her out tonight on another date this time for a meal out and then we are planning on going back to hers to carry on this boxset we started. How can i escalate this further?

When i have been at her shes has already been cooking food for me and supplying me with beers, tonight is the first date where i have actually taken her out to spend any money on her.

Shes also really shy before we were smooching on the last date she wouldnt even kiss me and look at me just kissed me and looked away.

When im at hers watching tv with her im always got my hands all over her when we are on the sofa hand round my waist playing with her hair etc but its always me thats got to ask her to come close to me. The last time i was at hers i was playing with her telling her to close her eyes then i took off her glasses before we smooched for 5-10 mins.

How can i escalate with her to get her to open up and get her upstairs?

Tonight im picking her up before we go out so hopefully a few drinks will help her relax more and open up.

Thanks Guys

Any articles i can read in pro for tonights date would be good, ive got a feeling she will offer to pay half how do i deal with that?

 

[derby1]

I could quote a lot of your post ....i wouldnt know where to start ...your 5 dates in? you havent bedded her...

Your chilling watching netflix or whatever boxsets???

You ask her to kiss etc ???

(tell her to "get her cute ass over here and your gonna give those lips some attention"...do this when in close and guide her in)

Your going to her pad???(ok part of this you cant help fair enough)

Ask yourself this OP what are you teaching this woman sub conciously

You do not lead , she does not follow

 

[Jamie12345]

Ive never asked to kiss her ive just done it, i do lead and she does follow shes never said no to me or been reluctant. I was at her pad by the 3rd date after i suggested we watch a film or boxset.

We were txting the other day and she was saying that shes quiet and shy at first and then shes used to getting her own way, i challenge her about it and said i like someone who takes the lead now and again and she said now and again not all the time then. i just replied saying talk is cheap to which she replied well maybe you see.. i replied just now and again ill have to keep my eye on you!

 

[marmel75]

Omg this chick must be thinking you are gay by now.

Its pretty simple. Let your fingers do the walking. After a while grab her hand and put it directly on top of your likely hard c0ck. If you cant figure the rest out from there then you probably shouldn't be even bothering.

 

[CMNILS87]

How old is this chick? She could be really playing hard to get and her defense is up. But that’s weird if she inviting you over.

I would go the opposite this time. Being touchy isn’t working. So after going out and coming back, kick your feet up and let her cuddle up to you on the couch. You not pushing to be touchy will make her be like wtf.... pull her in close, kiss, and slip a hand down her pants.

 

[Vantagepoint34]

It's clearly not a sign of low interest. It looks more like it's the woman. Reading it I could guess it might be a girl from Argentina or something with strong Matriarchal values. Needless to say If you got in the glory hole and set up Netflix and what you set up is Kissing that is first base and you stole second by going for some touching. Don't think you haven't done anything. But you're clearly somewhere in making her your girlfriend territory. So enjoy your girl but expect more from her and you could go as far as talking about it and there's nothing wrong with talking about it. Most Dj's around here make their chips by being sneaky and creeping their way in the bedroom. I recommend you download some Deangelo I believe that is his name I recall. He's got a nice set up and can get you the girl with his step by step guides. And he should still have his original stuff for free usually not hard to find by now.

If any DJ's know what he's been up to these day would be nice. But if he did bother to advertise he did not leave much in the search... And if it's not in the search well...ttyl and much luck

 

[Jamie12345]

Shes 30 but she has been single a long time, shes told me her last dates give up on her after the 2nd date and i can definitely see why because shes so closed.

On here people say been a dj u shouldnt rush into sex cause u know it will come eventually and others say if you dont have sex by the 5th date walk away or next her.

Im picking her up at 6 for our meal out then going back to hers for more netflix, im hoping she will have a few drinks and this will open her up more.

Ive found out through mutual friends that she has been engaged in her last serious relationship, as i was talking to them about her at a party i was at from the weekend. Should i mention this to her? ive got a feeling this will put her on the back foot and she might put more effort in with me.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Yea I had a girl who didn't want to tongue kiss me was doing all kinds of boring hard to get shyte tests on the couch of her house.
I flaked on the next date and ignored her texts for a while and the date after that she was half drunk and opened the door naked in a bathrobe with her tits hanging out.

 

[derby1]

Ive found out through mutual friends that she has been engaged in her last serious relationship

at one point will you realise your approach, your mindset the outcome is all wrong,

you are seriously being led on by her words, i mean for christs sake you havent even banged her and your doing research into whether you should bring up the fact she was engaged bit creepy whether shes hid the fact or not .....what are ya her emotional tampon..,.come therapist

HANG OUT HAVE FUN , BANG, HANG OUT HAVE FUN BANG...................rinse and repeat

 

[Jamie12345]

Well last night had the meal etc she only had one glass of wine, got to hers watched netflix then about ten she said she said its past your bedtime. smooched on the sofa got on top of kissing her neck etc

Stood up to go more smooching had my hands on her bum, said to her no snuggles then jokingly she said not this time.
got to the kitchen chatted for a bit more then said night and left

 

[Southbound29]

At this point you're gonna have to man up, take the lead and escalate the **** out of her, withdraw attention or lay your cards on the table and ask her what she wants with a good chance she'll walk. You don't really have anything to lose.

You're stuck in a cycle and every time sex doesn't happen you're getting closer to the friend zone or a relationship where she has all the power. You don't want to be in this position so break the cycle and do something.

 

[skinnyguy]

When you’re hanging out with her, do not touch her at all and see how she responds.

 

[marmel75]

Well last night had the meal etc she only had one glass of wine, got to hers watched netflix then about ten she said she said its past your bedtime. smooched on the sofa got on top of kissing her neck etc

Stood up to go more smooching had my hands on her bum, said to her no snuggles then jokingly she said not this time.
got to the kitchen chatted for a bit more then said night and left

Why are you allowing her to waste your time?

Just stop spending time with her and start spending time with other women. If she asks just say something like "My time is limited so I'm spending it with women who want more than my friendship." And thats it.

Your best shot to bang her is withdraw your time and attention and focus on other women.

 

[ohrein]

Just keep escalating. She's probably just not a *****. Guys on here whine about how women are *****s but get pissy when a girl isnt one with them. There's no way you're in the friend zone. Just keep upping the ante. Touching - holding hands - kissing - grab ass - grab tits - run your fingers at the top of her underwear and down just enough to make it clear - start touching *****. If you get to that stage you're golden. If she stops you at any point then go back one stage. Never get annoyed or angry. Just smile and have fun. One way or another the problem will sort itself out.

 

[CMNILS87]

Just keep escalating. She's probably just not a *****. Guys on here whine about how women are *****s but get pissy when a girl isnt one with them. There's no way you're in the friend zone. Just keep upping the ante. Touching - holding hands - kissing - grab ass - grab tits - run your fingers at the top of her underwear and down just enough to make it clear - start touching *****. If you get to that stage you're golden. If she stops you at any point then go back one stage. Never get annoyed or angry. Just smile and have fun. One way or another the problem will sort itself out.

She’s 30 though man. She knows the game, she knows what’s up.

 

[Dingo]

Why are you allowing her to waste your time?

Just stop spending time with her and start spending time with other women. If she asks just say something like "My time is limited so I'm spending it with women who want more than my friendship." And thats it.

Your best shot to bang her is withdraw your time and attention and focus on other women.

This...

I know it is counterintuitive but it is the only way.

 

[Jamie12345]

Ive made plans to see her this weekend at some point, she txt me last night saying she worries shes not good enough and that shes an over thinker and tends to think the worst.

Shes told her family about me and as we were in the same class when we were 10/11 her mum is threatening to get the old school pictures out.

Her brother who she is really close too is also friends with my sister and my mum and her mum where friends while we were at primary school.

Just to be clear i didnt even realise we were in the same class when we were younger, its just a coincidence i havnt been chasing her for years!

 

[derby1]

Ive made plans to see her this weekend at some point, she txt me last night saying she worries shes not good enough and that shes an over thinker and tends to think the worst.

yet again another poster comes along like bigdave who asks for advice and doesnt seem to refer or acknowledge anyones advice 20 posts in

good luck OP shes got plans for you, and your little puppy behaviour

youll be having sex soon dont you worry

 

[ohrein]

She’s 30 though man. She knows the game, she knows what’s up.

There are always exceptions. My girlfriend was one of them. There was a post on here a few weeks ago and the chick was a virgin. Don't try to figure out what's going on, push/pull and escalate. Then you get your answer. She'll either explain it to you or go with it eventually.

 

[devilkingx2]

from now on only go on dates to do things you personally enjoy like your favorite restaurants and such, since you're not getting laid it's all about you and what you want now

though it's an even better idea to just drop her and find a girl who wants to have sex with you