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5 date in been at her house till 2am but only smooched on the sofa how to escalate?
- Thread starter Jamie12345
- Start date
MoreThanSmooth
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No expert here but I am a rational guy, so here's my 2 cents.
If she's making out with you, she clearly finds you physically attractive. That's not something people you're platonic with do.
You should never go in super heavy too fast for her like a creep, but at the same time sitting around getting blue balled night after night like that is showing a willingness to get pushed around. A weakness. She probably enjoys the control she has over you here.
Next time you're making out, I'd get her close and then say something like "You're really f***ing sexy." Then you can kiss her again and let your hands wander a bit. If she stops you then, I'd stop all the kissing and cuddling, sit up and say "You're not into this?" If she says she is, you can say "But you don't want us to get physical?" and that will make her give you a definitive answer. If she says she's not into it full stop, tell her you had a good evening and leave there and then. Don't contact her until she messages you. She'll realise you're not just her plaything, and have to reflect on her behaviour.
You can watch box sets alone if you want to! Inviting you round late, alone, to snuggle and make out on a sofa over and over again is a natural precursor to sex. If she doesn't want to get physical she should stop inviting you over and go on a coffee date in public or something instead. It's not fair on you, and if you put up with it you're setting yourself up to get treated like a eunuch.
If she's making out with you, she clearly finds you physically attractive. That's not something people you're platonic with do.
You should never go in super heavy too fast for her like a creep, but at the same time sitting around getting blue balled night after night like that is showing a willingness to get pushed around. A weakness. She probably enjoys the control she has over you here.
Next time you're making out, I'd get her close and then say something like "You're really f***ing sexy." Then you can kiss her again and let your hands wander a bit. If she stops you then, I'd stop all the kissing and cuddling, sit up and say "You're not into this?" If she says she is, you can say "But you don't want us to get physical?" and that will make her give you a definitive answer. If she says she's not into it full stop, tell her you had a good evening and leave there and then. Don't contact her until she messages you. She'll realise you're not just her plaything, and have to reflect on her behaviour.
You can watch box sets alone if you want to! Inviting you round late, alone, to snuggle and make out on a sofa over and over again is a natural precursor to sex. If she doesn't want to get physical she should stop inviting you over and go on a coffee date in public or something instead. It's not fair on you, and if you put up with it you're setting yourself up to get treated like a eunuch.
he keeps going bk to her mate, what he needs to do is totally withdraw attention, she thinks hes her little toy, no sex and shes talking about him meeting the parents lol............shes got plans for him thats for sure
She knows the game for sure. Her interest is sub 50% but she doesn't want to be alone so she is using OP to fill time.
My bet is this is the only girl OP is seeing and she knows it. He is probably the only guy she is seeing and her intetest in him sexually isnt there. She is waiting for the next guy to come and when he does OP will get ghosted.
As marmel said. Start seeing other women. Withdraw most attention you are giving her.
Your attention should be focused on women with high interest.
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
Being engaged is a big deal. I knew a guy that was a basketball player and the girl left him at the altar. Talk about putting your eggs in one basket. But it's clear you're not the rebound guy. You could be in that replacement category so your position right now is big. Slow steps at this points and you don't want to go all the way. This could be a keeper.
marmel75
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Huh?
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
OP brought up this girl was engaged before he met her. There's no need to rush and no time wasted in the bedroom. I also brought up she can hold out as long as SHE is comfortable. There's just nothing he can do. She comes with baggage or damaged goods. Looks like a red flag if you get me....
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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His job isnt to stick around for 6 months following your advice til she is "comfortable".
So let me get this straight...you are cool with being her gay friend for 6 months while some dude she met 40 minutes ago in a club has her panties down around her ankles in the bathroom banging her out?
You are right about nothing he can do other than escalate and walk away if she continues this behaviour. She isnt going celibate...she has probably already banged aomeone else, just not him.
MoreThanSmooth
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Hehe, check out his new thread Marmel. He got lucky
If you want to talk, talk to your friends. If you want a girl to like you, listen to her, ask questions, and act like you are on the edge of your seat.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
Marmel it's the dating period. It's always standard 6 months before you make her your girlfriend. And from what he says she's not being flaky or rushing territory. He stood his ground and scored. So Yea... It's not a always a sign she will sleep with someone else.
Let's be clear rushing into the relationship is a red flag
marmel75
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Its never a mans job to seek a relationship, its a mans job to seek sex. Stop advocating he play a feminine role in the relationship.
_sideways_
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I was going to say the same. Unless the dude can offer fun and excitement....nah, that would just make a fun friendship....some dudes are not seen as sexual beings to some females. Make her a wing woman...