Do all women become clingy when they fall in love?

Macaframalama

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Please expand on this.
I don't see what you're not getting. If someone loses respect for you, the more familiar they get with you, there's something wrong there. There's also a thing called "holding on to your nuts". Unwavering in your obligations. If a woman can't respect that, it's time for her to go or find women that have their own obligations and commitments.
 

btownbuck2012

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I don't see what you're not getting. If someone loses respect for you, the more familiar they get with you, there's something wrong there. There's also a thing called "holding on to your nuts". Unwavering in your obligations. If a woman can't respect that, it's time for her to go or find women that have their own obligations and commitments.
I think what you're saying is getting to the point in your life where you are the same person regardless of who you spend your time with. If you're a different guy when you have a woman in your life than who you are when you don't have a woman in your life, this includes how you go about your day at home, at work, etc. than when she gets to know the real you respect will be lost. If you're comfortable with who you are and enjoy your life you'll be that same way with or without a woman. Your core, guiding principals for how you deal with life, work, friends and women should be consistent. So when there are people who come into your life who do want to get closer and know you better, they'll find you're the same guy as who you were when they didn't know you that well or who you were when you first presented yourself to them. Am I in the ballpark with that?
 

djthiago1

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To be honest, this is pretty basic, first point i want to make: You shouldn't be texting those girls all the time, you CANNOT break a pattern that you started with a girl, and that's why you don't start it, i've made this mistake numerous times in the past and i will not allow it to happen again.
Second point: Those super clingy girls are usually girls with low self-esteem, they need constant validation that everything is fine and that you still like them, and you should bail as soon as you notice this problem, they will drive you n u t s.
 

Macaframalama

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I think what you're saying is getting to the point in your life where you are the same person regardless of who you spend your time with. If you're a different guy when you have a woman in your life than who you are when you don't have a woman in your life, this includes how you go about your day at home, at work, etc. than when she gets to know the real you respect will be lost. If you're comfortable with who you are and enjoy your life you'll be that same way with or without a woman. Your core, guiding principals for how you deal with life, work, friends and women should be consistent. So when there are people who come into your life who do want to get closer and know you better, they'll find you're the same guy as who you were when they didn't know you that well or who you were when you first presented yourself to them. Am I in the ballpark with that?
Yes, but I'll go on to add. Getting to know someone takes allot of time. I mean really know someone. I'm also not naive enough to expect perfection from someone else, even though ppl have expected it from me. I prefer to strive for perfection and look into others which direction they are heading and how much effort or lack thereof they put into getting there and figure out whether they are compatible to my goals and worthy of my investment. We all have shortcomings. To expect perfection from others just isn't fair to them, nor to yourself. Man, imo everybody wants the fruit, but they don't want to take the energy to water the tree. You don't eat for long that way and if you do, your diet is so inconsistent, that you yourself find yourself malnourished. I know all too well the frustration of op. It can be annoying, but it's also a chance to lead, so long as she is investing. In whatever it is me and her have going and herself. It's usually as simple as winding her up, pointing her in the right direction and letting her go, like one of those little Hot Wheels. She's always going be grateful and feel like she owes you. It's either this or start fvcking with higher quality women, that are already forging their own path and have too many responsibilities and obligations of their own to be blowing you up all the time.
 
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Macaframalama

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Second point: Those super clingy girls are usually girls with low self-esteem, they need constant validation that everything is fine and that you still like them,
Bingo!
and you should bail as soon as you notice this problem,
I, personally prefer to find out
1. If they are trainable, and...
2. How much they are willing to invest.
Allot of these chics need management, not an amateur pimp. Let's face it. If finding a chic that had all her chit together, all the time, were common, we wouldn't be here.
 

djthiago1

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Bingo!

I, personally prefer to find out
1. If they are trainable, and...
2. How much they are willing to invest.
Allot of these chics need management, not an amateur pimp. Let's face it. If finding a chic that had all her chit together, all the time, were common, we wouldn't be here.
Depends on their age, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, besides trying to change people is usually a waste of time, energy and money.
 

Macaframalama

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Depends on their age, you can't teach an old dog new tricks, besides trying to change people is usually a waste of time, energy and money.
Exactly. I'm not stupid enough to try to lead a horse to water, when I know she won't drink. I find the younger, the more impressionable, the better. I'm living on Tulsa time, so one date, a few hours over drinks, etc of solid conversation isn't that much of a sacrifice to me to find out where her head is. It's a job interview. If she isn't a good fit and going to take care of your needs at the moment, so be it. Becky, Brenda and all the other b!tches in your rotation that have proven themselves down for the cause are more times, than not eager to fill her position.
 

El Payaso

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If someone loses respect for you, the more familiar they get with you, there's something wrong there.
Something wrong like what? It's just a basic life rule.
 

Macaframalama

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Something wrong like what? It's just a basic life rule.
It suggests fraudulence. Putting your best foot forward, but not really capable of sustainably living it. Please don't take this as a personal attack, because it isn't. Modern pua has the game flipped upside down. Women fall in love with and men gain respect for other male leaders, when they get to personally witness said leaders mettle being tested under life circumstances and experience. In extreme instances it can happen instantly, but normally it takes time.
 

Macaframalama

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Something wrong like what? It's just a basic life rule.
It's one thing to put your best foot forward and make a great first impression on a first date, but it's another thing to live verbatim everything you've portrayed, when the going gets tough.
 

El Payaso

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It suggests fraudulence. Putting your best foot forward, but not really capable of sustainably living it. Please don't take this as a personal attack, because it isn't. Modern pua has the game flipped upside down. Women fall in love with and men gain respect for other male leaders, when they get to personally witness said leaders mettle being tested under life circumstances and experience. In extreme instances it can happen instantly, but normally it takes time.
I do get what you're talking about but I was talking more towards more routine and predictability. Becoming too available where there is little to no mystery left.

Some of them want to come over every night or text throughout the day or every day and I find it boring.

My statement about familiarity breeding contempt isn't just about women being turned off men but vice versa as well.

A girl I was dating a few months ago wanted to talk every day. Even when I closed the conversation, she would pick it up a few hours ago with some mundane thing like texting me a picture of some character cookie she baked or whatever.

I guess what I'm getting at is I want to be able to miss them too without feeling smothered.
 

Andrewdiceclay

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If you aren't okay with this clingyness you are not ready for a real relationship and are giving her the wrong idea.
 

Macaframalama

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I do get what you're talking about but I was talking more towards more routine and predictability. Becoming too available where there is little to no mystery left.

Some of them want to come over every night or text throughout the day or every day and I find it boring.

My statement about familiarity breeding contempt isn't just about women being turned off men but vice versa as well.

A girl I was dating a few months ago wanted to talk every day. Even when I closed the conversation, she would pick it up a few hours ago with some mundane thing like texting me a picture of some character cookie she baked or whatever.

I guess what I'm getting at is I want to be able to miss them too without feeling smothered.
Yea, I get where you're coming from. The woes of success. I would still rather have them checking for me, than having none of them give a chit to bother. At least it shows they respect your opinion enough to seek your approval. The truly compatible relationships, where both parties are as eager as the other really are hard to come by. Idk if it isn't just as much perception as it is literal, but the road in between finding the really stimulating connections can feel mundane.
 

Macaframalama

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If you aren't okay with this clingyness you are not ready for a real relationship and are giving her the wrong idea.
She clings, because she's come across a man that possesses tangible leadership skills. Even when telling her straight up, that he just wants to keep it cool, play it slow and casual, they will fight tooth and nail to not only keep whatever security or connection they feel they have, but try to escalate the relationship. Tell a woman not to fall in love and what's the first thing she's going to do? Women up and down the spectrum will do this, other than the ones that truly have self respect or any sense and they will too if they believe in you enough.
 
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Peace and Quiet

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Pretty much every girl I've dated became clingy once they started liking me. They want to text or call every day and those things are counterproductive to the relationship because familiarity breeds contempt and lowers attraction when you become too available.
but whats their love based on? just on spending time with someone of higher quality than they are? they wont love someone worse than they are.
 

Desdinova

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It would be nice to meet a girl who can maintain a healthy sense of self and distance.
The only time women have that is when they're not interested in you. If you want some distance, you have to create it yourself. You need to tell her that you need some time alone to do your own things.

I get where you're coming from. My GF wants to go wherever I go. I'll tell her "I'm going to the city to buy this (man item)". She immediately jumps in with "Okay, I'll come". Why the fvck does she want to come? I'm buying something she has no interest in. I don't go with her when she does her boring girl 5hit.

But that's just the way women are. They don't give a fvck what they're doing as long as they're with you, but that's only if they're interested in you. That "healthy sense of distance" only applies to men. Women who have that aren't emotionally healthy.
 

Roober

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It's very simple. As women learn more about you and spend more time with you, they want to see you more. At some point, maybe a couple months or more in, any normal woman will want this daily or more. At least some kind of attention, text, phone, spend time together.

If you along with this instead of setting the stage yourself, you will look weak. However, spending more time with someone shouldn't foster contempt. Of so, then you guys aren't a good fit.
 

derby1

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within the first couple of weeks, i was the best thing to happen to her since sliced bread and by the end of it i was her mortal enemy
dated a woman not so long bk was showering me with gifts within 2 weeks "i was so different than the rest" the sxe was fantastic, she put her hand in her purse all good signs

within 4 weeks i aswell was the enemy yet id done nothing wrong lol im sure you didnt either madness......she went from total courtesy to asking me if id banged her deceased sister within a glass of red wine
 

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