not that simple my friend, not that simple. if my wife and I were not married, didn't have kids? sh*t, I'd put my foot down, behave like this or forget it. and if she didn't comply? right out she'd go. now tie my finances and my relationship with my kids to that same situation? now I'm much more willing to put up with a bunch of crap that I normally would never ever consider. money and kids, they change the game big time in their favor. hell yes she loves being married, she has a built in punching bag who takes all their crap, who wouldn't love that?
marmel75 is very narrow-minded so I take most of his words with a grain of salt. Yeah I see what you mean, SHE probably loves it. But he doesn't. That's the weird thing though, men will take care of something they love, and even if they dislike something or someone, they can still show respect and be magnanimous towards it/them. Women are the opposite it seems. I just realized this several days ago actually...
It is that simple. If you allow yourself to be treated like a doormat, you will be treated like a doormat. It has nothing to do with kids or no kids or throwing someone out or not.
Why do countries invade other counties when they have no evidence of weapons of mass destruction?
it's not like that man, take it from me, I know. I pedastalized my wife early on but she reflected that back to me. Sex was great, she deferred but was time went on after we got married, that reflection stopped. So I was still expected to continue to give 100% to the relationship but she gave less and less. Now, she don't do sh*t for me and you know what, I stopped doing sh*t for her. It took me a few years to figure this out but once I did, it was a no brainer to stop. No more flowers. No more opening doors. No more back rubs. No more of the nice **** she had come to expect. You don't do sh*t for me, I don't do sh*t for you. But now I'm stuck in a sexless marriage where she has all of the benefit and I have all of the responsibility. If you had approached me with this situation before I met my wife and asked me if I wanted to do it. F*ck no!!!! But it's like a frog in a pot of cold water. Slowly turn it up until it's boiling, the frog will never move. Throw him into a boiling pot of water and he'll try to get out. Women do this sh*t in stages man. You think this guy started out there? I guarantee you he didn't. He probably had the perfect wife when they were dating and shortly thereafter but once he was in the spider's web? Nope, time to stop doing what got him there because she don't need to anymore.
It's more than that. I take care of my kids too. I don't think I could stomach them calling someone else daddy. I might actually have a full on melt down. Sure my wife would love that but I couldn't handle that. When it's just me? Yea, I'd kick her *ss out. But when it's me, my kids and my money? You have to be willing to swallow some crap. Now I know others on here will say that's not worth it but believe me, when you've spent 20+ years working towards a high end career, taking care of your kids, it's not that easy to walk away from all of that.
You already said yourself what the problem was and actually reinforced exactly what I said.
What can be done?
Honestly not much. After a relationship has being going on for that long of a time everyone already has all their cards on the table.
What if you were in that position a d your only choice was to do something about it? Could you get it to flip?
That’s a horrible analogy. First off, HOW THE **** CAN YOU POSSIBLY BELIEVE WHAT THE GOVERNMENT TELLS US??? It’s called Operation Mockingbird. Yes, it is propaganda and the CIA admit to it, and still do. There much more behind the scenes and anyone who thinks for themselves understands that.
Eh, idc. I’ve eaten enough **** for about 4 lifetimes so I don’t feel like eating any more, even if it means throwing away my life for it. I will be sure to always get the last word.
You either haven't dated a BPD woman before or you don't have that much experience with women in general. Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question. The answer is pretty obvious and one poster already mentioned it. Women like to have a punching bag when they get angry.
Then you’re an idiot. It has nothing to do with being angry or not if she’s like that regardless.
More than likely not. You could make her fear you but that would just lead to deep seated malice after a while...
I think pedalstalizing is the wrong word, I wanted to treat her good so she knows how important I think she is and expected her to do the same thing. Didn't work out that way.
It's very hard to change such a well entrenched dynamic without dismantling the whole relationship and obviously dismantling the relationship has serious repercussions.
In other words, first impressions count. A LOT.
So by her fearing you she's going to "put out" and be feminine? How would you go about reversing a situation that you was doormat because you where too giving to her?
