Why can't BPD women let things go?

[sazc]

this again, you may not realise this but the way you are talking about her is very much like a female would talk to her female group of friends, oh my god hes such a jerk..............knowing she deep down has emotions for the jerk

I would suspect he is working thru some mild PTSD and anxiety from this person. Talking about it , getting affirmation that he's sane in his thoughts, is part of the healing.

You really cant go thru a relationship with someone with mental/emotional issues and not come put unscathed and needing support.

 

[Roober]

no you are the problem OP , you , your emotions and your reactions!!
your not indifferent cause you wouldnt be writing about her shes spinning your hamster wheel to the max , WHY IS SHE DOING THIS, you admitted earlier she gets a reaction from you .......

shes loving it

This! It can be difficult to navigate, but how long has it been since the breakup, @captain55 ? Why are you still connected to her on Facebook? Why do you keep feeding her? Just ignore everything from her, absolutely everything. I am willing to bet this "business" could be conducted over email or electronically; it's 2018 for fvck sake.

You have been here 5 years and still don't seem to grasp the most basic concepts here. Start looking inside and stop making threads about this woman...

Quit pointing fingers and accept that YOU are the problem.

 

[captain55]

This! It can be difficult to navigate, but how long has it been since the breakup, @captain55 ? Why are you still connected to her on Facebook? Why do you keep feeding her? Just ignore everything from her, absolutely everything. I am willing to bet this "business" could be conducted over email or electronically; it's 2018 for fvck sake.

You have been here 5 years and still don't seem to grasp the most basic concepts here. Start looking inside and stop making threads about this woman...

Quit pointing fingers and accept that YOU are the problem.

We have been broken up four months. Definitely had some ptsd..she put me through hell. This chick was insane on another level. I really think she is capable of killing somebody and that is not an understatement

 

[captain55]

this again, you may not realise this but the way you are talking about her is very much like a female would talk to her female group of friends, oh my god hes such a jerk..............knowing she deep down has emotions for the jerk

Well when I left the relationship I was so happy to be single. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And while I am enjoying dating better women that are emotionally healthy, the dark times of the relationship still haunt me. I still have violent dreams occasionally about her.....never good dreams all bad. I thought because of my narcissistic nature I would get out unscarred but I was wrong. Bpd are a total mind****. Just Can’t believe I called this piece of **** my woman for years man was I blind

 

[soulforge]

In a stressful situation like this, you need to call up your best friend.. Who's your best friend? NO CONTACT

If you have no kids, or business ties any longer, then BLOCK and DELETE forever..

Simple solution to a simple problem!

 

[captain55]

In a stressful situation like this, you need to call up your best friend.. Who's your best friend? NO CONTACT

If you have no kids, or business ties any longer, then BLOCK and DELETE forever..

Simple solution to a simple problem!

If I block her it means she will think she won.

 

[Billtx49]

If I block her it means she will think she won.

She’s a severely damaged woman. She is no longer with you. You’ve already Won, but you may be still stuck in a state of emotionally longing for a return of her idealization phase. It won’t happen.

Concentrate on your personal damage healing now, and the methods needed to get it done. A cut won’t heal well if you keep ripping the bandaid off…
If you need to vent and talk, do it here.
NC for her.

 

[Roober]

If I block her it means she will think she won.

Oh man... why do you give a fvck what the fvck she thinks? No offense, but your obsession with your ex is a joke, that you can't seem to comprehend... Your doing this to yourself and don't listen to anything here. The worst part is that this happened to you after being exposed to this site for 4.5 years...

Take ownership of the problem and it will get fixed. Quit it with the blame game...

 

[noBSgames]

What’s scary is how the relationship ends and you run into them down the line and they are nothing like the person you dated. Creepy in a way...these women truly have no identity. If you ever start speaking with them after a long time apart you will notice they start to pick up different phrases. The phrases you use with her she will use on the next victim as well

Man that's scary.. like everyone said she did me a favor by leaving and thank god I don't miss her one bit now that I'm with my current girlfriend it's night and day difference. None of that her thinking ghosts are around her and ****.. sometimes she would say the most dumbest things ever...

 

[noBSgames]

Oh man... why do you give a fvck what the fvck she thinks? No offense, but your obsession with your ex is a joke, that you can't seem to comprehend... Your doing this to yourself and don't listen to anything here. The worst part is that this happened to you after being exposed to this site for 4.5 years...

Take ownership of the problem and it will get fixed. Quit it with the blame game...

This 1000x move on trust me nothing good will come out of it.. my ex did some much crap that I can't think of one good thing.. sure make paying for trips and doing all that was fun but was it worth the hassle after the trip? HELL NO! plus when she would pout she would walk away and not face you just like a little kid would do she really is a little kid trapped in a 24 year old body..

 

[RedScorpion]

This 1000x move on trust me nothing good will come out of it.. my ex did some much crap that I can't think of one good thing.. sure make paying for trips and doing all that was fun but was it worth the hassle after the trip? HELL NO! plus when she would pout she would walk away and not face you just like a little kid would do she really is a little kid trapped in a 24 year old body..

I've had this done to me as well. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) it was early on, so it was a major red flag... didn't make it much better, but still. There was too much bull**** with her.

I think it's easier (and most possibly best) to cut as much contact as possible with these women - so your brain forgets they even exist as a person. Let them slowly fade until you go 'Oh yeah, I guess they were in my life at one point'. Having a reminder that they exist, by seeing whatever they post online, or otherwise in some way are still 'in your life' - it's the feeling that they can impact your life indirectly or directly still.

I say - it doesn't matter who 'wins' in her mind. It matters only for your mind.

Go until you can affirm to yourself 'That's enough'.

 

[noBSgames]

I've had this done to me as well. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily) it was early on, so it was a major red flag... didn't make it much better, but still. There was too much bull**** with her.

I think it's easier (and most possibly best) to cut as much contact as possible with these women - so your brain forgets they even exist as a person. Let them slowly fade until you go 'Oh yeah, I guess they were in my life at one point'. Having a reminder that they exist, by seeing whatever they post online, or otherwise in some way are still 'in your life' - it's the feeling that they can impact your life indirectly or directly still.

I say - it doesn't matter who 'wins' in her mind. It matters only for your mind.

Go until you can affirm to yourself 'That's enough'.

Oh god.. mine would post indirect about me on instantgram.. saying things like No matter which way you turn I'll still be there.. I don't know what shes smoking.. I know in her mind shes saying this is the girl he was cheating on me for.. the fact that she's "so called married" and still trying to talk tells you about how loyal she is.. but we already know how that goes with these types of women.. I wanna say when I was with her about the 6 month mark I started searching up and that's when I found out about BPD.. the only thing she did not do was self harm

I'm so glad I blocked her whole family I did it for my new relationship knowing her she will try to talk to my girl and talk nasty.. but I've warned her before hand about her so she knows

 

[soulforge]

If I block her it means she will think she won.

So let her think she won! What does it matter to you?

You want her out of your life right.. you want to heal and move forward right.. Then what she think, doesn't matter in the slightest.

If blocking her means, you can get over this Cu@t and move on with your life, then that is EXACTLY what YOU need to do.

Stop making excuses! Your on here complaining about how she keeps intruding in your life, yet you have the power to resolve this matter in just a matter of MINUTES by blocking her on your phone, and on social media...

Think about how much time and energy you are putting into posting on here about this woman, yet you can make it all go away in a matter of a few minutes.

 

[Trump]

We needed to communicate for business reasons, otherwise I would stay strict no contact.

What does it take for these women to leave you the **** alone?

That’s ironic.

 

[Bible_Belt]

BPD is a mental illness. You can't reason with it, and you certainly can't shame a women into being cured. There is no cure. Arguing with a BPD and thinking you will get anywhere is like yelling at someone in a wheelchair and thinking they will get up and walk. You can't talk someone out of their mental illness, especially this one.

 

[wifehunter]

If you try to understand crazy, you will go crazy.

Leave the crazies be!!!

 

[btownbuck2012]

Trying to logically understand a cluster b personality disorder and their way of reasoning is like trying to show and explain to someone that a piece of paper that is the color red is in fact red when they are convinced it's actually green. You cannot win, no matter how hard you try to penetrate their insane rationalizations. You simply must cut contact, take the loss and don't ever forget the valuable lesson you've learned.

The guys who end up dead, broke or in jail after an encounter with these women are the ones who kept telling themselves, "I've got to work harder to show her the mistakes she is making. I can do it".

Don't fall into the trap of thinking "If I was only better somehow I could fix this". I think a-lot of guys who would consider themselves to be higher value can relate to the way their ex cluster b GF acted after the relationship was over. It's almost as if her ego had never been bigger, she felt invincible. He behavior was so bizarre and so strange and it was precisely because she felt she finally had full control over you. That, to them, is better than the best orgasm, the best relationship or anything else that life could offer her. It is their #1 goal, CONTROL.

 

[051AV]

You have to get the BPD woman out of your life she will keep trying to make your life dysfunctional like hers its what they do, they are not happy unless your miserable like them. They put on this façade that things are all good in their life its not they hide behind the mask, the mask only comes off if they are close to you and you've already seen their dark side. Trust me they are good at hiding the fact they are a BPD from the outside world, nobody knew there was anything wrong with my ex except for me and a few others. Only her secret come out when she decided to pick the biggest fight we ever had and I exposed her secret to everybody. They can't be fixed the wiring in their brain is messed up, meds help a little bit but they will never be cured.