Why can't BPD women let things go?

[captain55]

My bpd ex still hoovers me every 6-8 weeks or so. Finally told her off. She takes little jabs at me trying to **** with my self esteem, I finally fired back after trying to keep contact as short as possible. We needed to communicate for business reasons, otherwise I would stay strict no contact.

its almost as if she thinks she's still in the relationship. Every time she hoovers me, I end up saying or doing something to piss her off and usually its the slightest thing.....and she disappears only to reappear in my life again. Sometimes she talks as if she's almost as if she still thinks she's in a relationship with me which is super creepy.

What does it take for these women to leave you the **** alone?

I feel like she's a parasite that I can't quite seem to get out of my life. I look forward to the day when she no longer has any desire to contact me. I definitely have some narcissistic qualities and I think that's one of the reasons she can't leave me alone. Its almost as if Im a **** to her, she gets hurt by it...and tries to come back to me

 

[derby1]

Every time she hoovers me, I end up saying or doing something to piss her off and usually its the slightest thing

operation puppet show, shes the Puppeteer, .....Operation Under his skin

 

[dude99]

What does it take for these women to leave you the **** alone?

Cutting them 100% out of your life. Any contact like you mentioned even business related is fuel for them to try to "win" in their eyes. As long as you entertain them, they want to win.

Sell your part in the business and walk away if you truly want her out of your life.

 

[RangerMIke]

All chicks do this, and none of them can let anything go... and if sh!t goes sideways it is always the man's fault.

This is the truth of things so just accept this as an environmental condition. Just like the weather... if there is a raging thunderstorm, you just get away from it. Unless you have kids with an ex, just stay the fvck away from her if she can not behave herself.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

having a child with a hovering bpd ex is like having your balls forged with valiarian steel from mordor woly fvck

get her pregnant and go through agonizing breakup pain, come out of a mother****ing boss with UNBELIEVABLE game

 

[captain55]

Share some examples of what you are talking about?

For example she asked me for some information about the business, I put it off for a day because I was busy. And she will paint me black and start taking little shots at me me about how I’m a little “child that doesn’t have his priorities in check” and go around posting **** on Facebook about how a real man “keeps his word”. Literally all over a couple of papers...I find it entertaining, but sad at the same time. A woman that literally worshipped the ground I walked on for years, suddenly turned on me in a matter of months and has so much anger towards me. I don’t find her attractive anymore thankfully....but still would like to be remembered in a positive light by someone I spent so much time with. Nobody likes to feel hated by a Past SO.

There are a lot of things I can’t stand about her but t could give a **** less since it’s not my problem anymore. I just tell myself damn that sucks for the next guy. When I finally got over the relationship I felt indifferent. I feel nothing when I see her, I have No desire to badmouth her...

She can’t let go of the hate it seems.

 

[captain55]

having a child with a hovering bpd ex is like having your balls forged with valiarian steel from mordor woly fvck

get her pregnant and go through agonizing breakup pain, come out of a mother****ing boss with UNBELIEVABLE game

I respect you for looking at life this way but there is no coming out with better game from a borderline. Your filtering process is better and you learn to appreciate healthy women more but game better? Nah. Bpd probably require the least game of any chick because they tend to come onto you and fall in love easier. With regular women you are the hunter, borderline women hunt you...

 

[noBSgames]

block her from everything!! My ex BPD did the same.. even after she was married.. she used a mash up of words my mom used "He's moved on" I kept her unblocked long enough to have her see me with my new girl and it sent her in a rage saying I was calling her from blocked numbers and crap like that.. and she was like "I thought you moved on" my friend told me she posted this on snap.. I blocked her and her whole family.

 

[Billtx49]

They don’t want you to get too close when you’re together. They don’t want you to get too far away afterwards. This sick mindset is what drives all of her actions and words. It’s a no win situation for the man from the start, unless he actually likes being in a state of constant limbo.

 

[captain55]

block her from everything!! My ex BPD did the same.. even after she was married.. she used a mash up of words my mom used "He's moved on" I kept her unblocked long enough to have her see me with my new girl and it sent her in a rage saying I was calling her from blocked numbers and crap like that.. and she was like "I thought you moved on" my friend told me she posted this on snap.. I blocked her and her whole family.

They are nuts.

 

[captain55]

They don’t want you to get too close when you’re together. They don’t want you to get too far away afterwards. This sick mindset is what drives all of her actions and words. It’s a no win situation for the man from the start, unless he actually likes being in a state of constant limbo.

What’s scary is how the relationship ends and you run into them down the line and they are nothing like the person you dated. Creepy in a way...these women truly have no identity. If you ever start speaking with them after a long time apart you will notice they start to pick up different phrases. The phrases you use with her she will use on the next victim as well

 

[derby1]

She can’t let go of the hate it seems.

no you are the problem OP , you , your emotions and your reactions!!
your not indifferent cause you wouldnt be writing about her shes spinning your hamster wheel to the max , WHY IS SHE DOING THIS, you admitted earlier she gets a reaction from you .......

shes loving it

 

[sazc]

Not to mention, she has to want peace enough to let perceived slights go.

BPDs thrive on the push pull emotional thing. THRIVE!

 

[captain55]

no you are the problem OP , you , your emotions and your reactions!!
your not indifferent cause you wouldnt be writing about her shes spinning your hamster wheel to the max , WHY IS SHE DOING THIS, you admitted earlier she gets a reaction from you .......

shes loving it

Just because you want someone to not think of you a certain way does not mean you want them back though. I don’t like how she talks **** behind my back to people and ruins my reputation. I genuinely would like for her to just leave me alone and forget about me...i went from hating her to feeling sorry for her.

 

[captain55]

Not to mention, she has to want peace enough to let perceived slights go.

BPDs thrive on the push pull emotional thing. THRIVE!

That’s the thing. She’s done a million times Worse things to me and I let them all go. I forgot about most of them and my anger subsided I’ve moved on with my life. Why does this chick hate me so much? I just can’t figure it out...it creeps me out knowing she has a grudge against me and will probably
Stock me for the rest of my life

 

[Billtx49]

I’ve moved on with my life. Why does this chick hate me so much? I just can’t figure it out...it creeps me out knowing she has a grudge against me and will probably
Stock me for the rest of my life

In her black and white mindset, you are now black… Which is a good thing when you don’t ever want her back.
After you sink the boat, normal women usually go away, this one will keep pushing your buttons if she thinks you’re paying attention… Ignore her, wash her off like the bad dream she always was and still is.

 

[051AV]

You have to let her dump you, I made the mistake of telling my ex fvck off, she went nuts, she wanted me to pay for what I did, you have to remember they act like children. No contact is a must if they don't get any attention from you she will paint you black. I've been painted black for nearly 3 years I doubt I will hear from her which is a good thing, I know she will never change. It did feel good to tell her to fvck off but I didn't realize I would get so much backlash from her, a mean streak came out of her I wasn't prepared for.

 

[captain55]

In her black and white mindset, you are now black… Which is a good thing when you don’t ever want her back.
After you sink the boat, normal women usually go away, this one will keep pushing your buttons if she thinks you’re paying attention… Ignore her, wash her off like the bad dream she always was and still is.

Easier said than done. Every time my anger goes away and I move on she comes back into my life and pisses me off again. Even when I dated her she was just a total piece of **** person....makes me lose faith in women knowing there are such ****ed up women out there

 

[captain55]

Not to mention, she has to want peace enough to let perceived slights go.

BPDs thrive on the push pull emotional thing. THRIVE!

Well I don’t I want her back, she doesn’t want me back...so why can’t she let it go? I really wish she found a new guy to idealize at this point so she would forget about me. I don’t need this parasite coming back into my life every two months. This time I actually insulted her so maybe it will Change things. Being the bigger person never worked she’d always Hoover.

 

[derby1]

she comes back into my life and pisses me off again

this again, you may not realise this but the way you are talking about her is very much like a female would talk to her female group of friends, oh my god hes such a jerk..............knowing she deep down has emotions for the jerk