I hate how you guys tell people to take care of themselves and dating automatically follows

[bigdave17]

How many times were you rejected? 0 for __?

0 out of 5 of 10 rejections is normal when you get started. 0 out of 50-100, onus falls on you.

get started? dude I have great social skills

I'm not a 16 year old kid who has never had friends in his life. I've been socializing for 15 years

 

[exhausted]

Why the f*ck do I need that?

I'm not trying to sell a time share. This is how f*cked human society is nowadays and you guys want to pretend that women aren't demented. I need to come up with some elaborate scheme to make a woman who is likely below me in every factual category be interested in talking to me

No you must realize that a woman gwts hit on 100x a day its boring for them.
You dont have to do tricks just be different

 

[bigdave17]

No you must realize that a woman gwts hit on 100x a day its boring for them.
You dont have to do tricks just be different

but I'm not a guy who is going to come up with some hilarious opener or tell a story that women love

My charisma comes from strong body language and a confident tone of voice...none of which seem to be nearly enough as women walk away from me very quickly at bars without me even getting a real chance

 

[guru1000]

get started? dude I have great social skills

You feel confident in sales, because you have sold effectively before.
You feel confident with friends/family because you have dealt with friends/family effectively before.
You don't feel confident with women because you have not dealt with them effectively.

You cannot have confidence in any matter in which you consistently fail.

Your failings incite a self-perpetuating loop which kills your confidence further and makes you fail more as women can sniff out a "loser" (defined herein as a man who loses with women).

You're unable to correctly rationalize your failing so you use hyperboles, such as "Hot women are approached by 3413410844 men a day," and so, with each hyperbole, you reinforce your failings, which leads to less confidence, and on and on and on.

You must break the cycle by first accepting responsibility, that the problem is not with the women nor "the male models pursuing them." The problem is with YOU.

 

[Atom Smasher]

You need to figure out what it is you're projecting. In some way you're projecting a creepiness to these women. There can be no other possibility.

If I could see a two minute video of you talking, even just to the camera, I would almost certainly be able to identify what the problem is. There is something in your delivery that is telegraphing, "You'd better run away from me". These inner mannerisms can be incredibly difficult to identify by introspection.

 

[bigdave17]

You feel confident in sales, because you have sold effectively before.
You feel confident with friends/family because you have dealt with friends/family effectively before.
You don't feel confident with women because you have not dealt with them effectively.

You cannot have confidence in any matter in which you consistently fail.

Your failings incite a self-perpetuating loop which kills your confidence further and makes you fail more as women can sniff out a "loser" (defined herein as a man who loses with women).

You're unable to correctly rationalize your failing so you use hyperboles, such as "Hot women are approached by 3413410844 men a day," and so, with each hyperbole, you reinforce your failings, which leads to less confidence, and on and on and on.

You must break the cycle by first accepting responsibility, that the problem is not with the women nor "the male models pursuing them." The problem is with YOU.

I know exactly what you are eluding to here

I've gone out sometimes where my confidence was lacking and I could tell that so I didn't even attempt to approach any women. Other times i go out, I feel like a million bucks and I approach these women but they STILL walk away after 20-30 seconds with some lame excuse even though I felt great and didn't doubt myself or anything


What do you attribute that to?

 

[guru1000]

Other times i go out, I feel like a million bucks and I approach these women but they STILL walk away after 20-30 seconds with some lame excuse even though I felt great and didn't doubt myself or anything

"Feeling like a million bucks" in your context means "I look great," " I make great money," "I have great friends and family,"

BUT

there is one little unconscious problem: "I have no confidence with hot women because I have never succeeded with them before."

In a nutshell:

Your feeling like $1,000,000 <> Confidence with hot women

It's a vicious cycle.

You need to start with small base hits. Take on a few 5s (in their 20s) into your team. Build your confidence from there. And then onto bigger fish. You're a hunter with a shotgun trying to kill the one great whale, yet you have no or little confidence in hunting many hot fish.

One rarely goes directly from scarcity to abundance with the women he desires. The goal is a harem, with consistent swapping and replacing ... until you meet one leagues ahead of the others.

 

[exhausted]

but I'm not a guy who is going to come up with some hilarious opener or tell a story that women love

My charisma comes from strong body language and a confident tone of voice...none of which seem to be nearly enough as women walk away from me very quickly at bars without me even getting a real chance

Ya I'm the same way.
Hmm stay out of bars then and try other venues.

 

[bigdave17]

"Feeling like a million bucks" in your context means "I look great," " I make great money," "I have great friends and family,"

BUT

there is one little unconscious problem: "I have no confidence with hot women because I have never succeeded with them before."

In a nutshell:

Your feeling like $1,000,000 <> Confidence with hot women

It's a vicious cycle.

You need to start with small base hits. Take on a few 5s (in their 20s) into your team. Build your confidence from there. And then onto bigger fish. You're a hunter with a shotgun trying to kill the one great whale, yet you have no or little confidence in hunting many hot fish.

One rarely goes directly from scarcity to abundance with the women he desires. The goal is a harem, with consistent swapping and replacing ... until you meet one leagues ahead of the others.

I've smashed 10-12 average to mediocre women - never helped me have any success with the ones I wanted - a few of them were good looking but older.

So you are telling me, that if I was to have your version of confidence, if I approached women at bars, they would stick around me all night and would want to go out with me? That's all it comes down to?

 

[guru1000]

So you are telling me, that if I was to have your version of confidence, if I approached women at bars, they would stick around me all night and would want to go out with me? That's all it comes down to?

I would bet money on it. I will even go further to state that true confidence in a specific venture is not possible without prior success in that venture. As you have no success with hot women, you are not confident with them.

You're in sales, correct? For a salesman, is not the most confident state one can attain for a sale, directly after a sale? What would happen to your sales confidence if you couldn't get a car sold for the last 90 days although you pitched many?

Let's start here. Be truthful.

1. How many in your harem right now?
2. When was the last time you got laid, and by whom?

 

[bigdave17]

I would bet money on it. I will even go further to state that true confidence in a specific venture is not possible without prior success in that venture. As you have no success with hot women, you are not confident with them.

You're in sales, correct? For a salesman, is not the most confident state one can attain for a sale, directly after a sale? What would happen to your sales confidence if you couldn't get a car sold for the last 90 days although you pitched many?

Let's start here. Be truthful.

1. How many in your harem right now?
2. When was the last time you got laid, and by whom?

1)0
2)I was seeing a very attractive 36 year old about 6 months ago. She was a great person and I wanted to give it a try but I couldn't get over the age difference or her having kids. She was crazy about me

 

[guru1000]

1)0
2)I was seeing a very attractive 36 year old about 6 months ago. She was a great person and I wanted to give it a try but I couldn't get over the age difference or her having kids. She was crazy about me

Bingo. Therein is your problem.

And to be honest, your thinking is justified, as not only are you in complete scarcity, but you have no recent base hits upon which to base your confidence with women.

Consider this: If you were lucky enough to secure a good 8 today, you would likely lose her, because you would be too afraid of her leaving, as you know she's not replaceable.
The saying of "spin plates" is the staple for many, and has great merit, as spinning plates not only immerses you in an abundant mind frame to kill that desperation, but also incites confidence with women--which makes all women replaceable.

Surrender the sniper and seeking a whale mentality, and start spinning plates with whomever. Then continue to swap and upgrade to you find one who merits your exclusivity.

 

[bigdave17]

Consider this: If you were lucky enough to secure a good 8 today, you would likely lose her

bull**** I would. I'm fantastic on actual dates and when I am around a woman who is attracted to me. I feel extremely confident and comfortable because I already know she likes me so all the hard work is done.

The entire struggle to me is getting a woman who is willing to just give me a shot. Once they get to know me and see what kind of person I am, what my lifestyle is, how successful I am, how great I am in bed, etc.... they fall in love with me.

start spinning plates with whomever. Then continue to swap and upgrade to you find one who merits your exclusivity.

this strategy does nothing for me

between 2014 to 2017, I probably slept or had flings with maybe 10 women and not one of them helped me get someone who is actually in my league. I'm done with that nonsense. No more single moms, cougars, chubby chicks, trashy chicks, etc.... Furthermore, all those 10 women wanted relationships with me and I felt guilty as hell to tease them like that. It's ****ty to me that I have the power to make these women extremely happy but I don't want to go through with it so I would rather not get involved with that in the first place.

 

[guru1000]

Remember the context. You are coming here for help. And guys who have already been where you were are giving you advice:

bull**** I would. I'm fantastic on actual dates and when I am around a woman who is attracted to me. I feel extremely confident and comfortable because I already know she likes me so all the hard work is done.

The entire struggle to me is getting a woman who is willing to just give me a shot. Once they get to know me and see what kind of person I am, what my lifestyle is, how successful I am, how great I am in bed, etc.... they fall in love with me.

And when she does a takeaway to test you, you're done. Your frame cannot hold by virtue of your pedestal-ing her because of your lack of confidence to replace her.

this strategy does nothing for me

between 2014 to 2017, I probably slept or had flings with maybe 10 women and not one of them helped me get someone who is actually in my league. I'm done with that nonsense. No more single moms, cougars, chubby chicks, trashy chicks, etc.... Furthermore, all those 10 women wanted relationships with me and I felt guilty as hell to tease them like that. It's ****ty to me that I have the power to make these women extremely happy but I don't want to go through with it so I would rather not get involved with that in the first place.

Did you date these women concurrently or one at a time?

 

[bigdave17]

Remember the context. You are coming here for help. And guys who have already been where you were are giving you advice:

I understand that but I'm not the same as everybody else. My struggles are not the same as everyone else. Your advice probably works for a lot of people but I'm not sure how much it works for me

And when she does a takeaway to test you, you're done. Your frame cannot hold by virtue of your pedestal-ing her because of your lack of confidence to replace her.

not true for me. I don't have a fear of loss. If I'm with a woman and she doesn't want to be with me, then she can get f*cked. I am not going to sacrifice my self respect or pride to chase after some brat who doesn't know what she wants.

I only want to be in a relationship where the other person is crazy about me and I'm crazy about her

I know I have a lot of bad habits/attitude but this area I am very strong in. I'm not willing to sacrifice my standards, I don't accept any poor treatment, etc...

Did you date these women concurrently or one at a time?

I didn't really date any of them. I was seeing the 36 year old for about 2 months. I had 6-8 month on and off fling with a hot 46 year old yoga instructor. That's the longest relationship I've ever had. None of it helped me meet someone in my league

 

[bigdave17]

You guys who say that I'm looking for a woman to fix my life, I hope you realize that I would become asexual if I could


I would love to never worry about this and have 0 desire to meet women ever again. F*ck, I would probably become a CEO of a company and figure out a cure for cancer. I can't help that I naturally have a very strong desire for both female companionship and sex.

 

[guru1000]

not true for me. I don't have a fear of loss.

But you do have zero confidence in replacing her with another hot woman, which will reflect in your subcommunications, and when she gets a hold of this (and she will), the slippery slope to the end is on its way.

I've been in this "Game," a very long time bud. I've been with countless hot women. With 90% accuracy, within 15 minutes of conversing with a girl, I can tell you how, when, and why our relation (in the future) can end.

Your problem is confidence with hot women.

When a woman states she wants to meet a guy with confidence, she is really saying, "I want a man who has been successful with other hot woman, and is thus confident."

I didn't really date any of them. I was seeing the 36 year old for about 2 months. I had 6-8 month on and off fling with a hot 46 year old yoga instructor. That's the longest relationship I've ever had. None of it helped me meet someone in my league

This is not spinning plates.

 

[bigdave17]

But you do have zero confidence in replacing her with another hot woman, which will reflect in your subcommunications, and when she gets a hold of this (and she will), the slippery slope to the end is on its way..

I'm not your average case. What you're saying is probably very true with a lot of guys but it's not true for me

The 46 year old woman was really the first attractive woman with a nice body that I've ever been out with in my entire life and I did awesome on all of our dates. She wanted to date me/marry me. I did a great job with the 36 year old too. All of our dates were extremely smooth

My huge struggle is finding a woman who is willing to give me a shot. Once I'm around somebody who is interested in wanting to go out with me, I will dominate

To me, the actual process of going on dates is easy stuff. I have nothing to hide - I'm very strong in all areas. I feel like once a woman sees all my qualities, she will inevitably fall in love with me. For me, when I get those strong signs of interest from a woman, it just makes me feel extremely comfortable and triggers a wave of confidence.

I'm 100% certain that if I got dates with 2 or 3 women who I liked who were attracted to me and willing to give me a shot, I would make at least 1 and maybe even 2 or 3 wanted to date me long term

 

[sosousage]

I'm not your average case. What you're saying is probably very true with a lot of guys but it's not true for me

The 46 year old woman was really the first attractive woman with a nice body that I've ever been out with in my entire life and I did awesome on all of our dates. She wanted to date me/marry me. I did a great job with the 36 year old too. All of our dates were extremely smooth

My huge struggle is finding a woman who is willing to give me a shot. Once I'm around somebody who is interested in wanting to go out with me, I will dominate

To me, the actual process of going on dates is easy stuff. I have nothing to hide - I'm very strong in all areas. I feel like once a woman sees all my qualities, she will inevitably fall in love with me. For me, when I get those strong signs of interest from a woman, it just makes me feel extremely comfortable and I have no problem being myself


I'm 100% certain that if I got 2 or 3 dates with women who I liked who were attracted to me and willing to give me a ****, I would make at least 1 and maybe even 2 or 3 wanted to date me long term

maybe your just ugly? paste your pics.

 

[bigdave17]

maybe your just ugly? paste your pics.

people say I look like Mario Lopez. I have also gotten some comparisons to the fitness model Sagi Kalev

I routinely have random strangers telling me that I'm very handsome