How some women “commit” in an LTR

[exhausted]

You're placing too many expectations on another to complete your happiness. You should be whole, complete, and happy without another. Herein is your error.

What I am saying is at some point the woman will screw up, get discarded and then i have to start again. Even if i discard immediately after the first incidence of negativity, there is still a minimal of stress.

 

[guru1000]

What I am saying is at some point the woman will screw up, get discarded and then i have to start again. Even if i discard immediately after the first incidence of negativity, there is still a minimal of stress.

Stress is a necessary part of growth. I encourage it.

So now what?

 

[Tenacity]

This happened to me when i was young. And yes I was furious for a couple days. Then it passed.

It's normal and healthy to feel emotion. But it does not serve you to dwell on a deleterious emotion.

But remember, the center of the discussion is if external market forces can effect your happiness. You originally stated that they couldn't, even if it's for a short period of time.

Were those same marketplace openings available to your ghetto friends had they looked with you? What was the main difference between you and them, if both of you could have found various Finance openings IF you both looked?

Of course not, remember we don't operate in a vacuum and the marketplace is based on supply and demand. The demand is/was there and I supplied/supply the requirements of said demand. You need both demand and supply.

Your counter as I would hope to see it is: If there were no market, your volition in the market would be fruitless and thus the market shapes the volition. This is true for many. However, history is also replete with examples of people who created new markets (see Steve Jobs) and revolutionized the needs of the market.

I think I would disagree that Steve Jobs created the market in relation to advances in technologies, robotics, and computerized communication. That market is and still is there, Steve Jobs supplied said market with the innovative technologies needed with a manufacturing process that's setup (Apple manufactures overseas) to allow the "average" person to afford the technologies.

 

[user43770]

There is no error in what Exhausted is stating here. You can take a "whole, complete, and happy person" and put them in a relationship with a dysfunctional person that starts drama, can't act right, plays games etc and the other person will be effected. After that person has been effected enough, the whole, complete, and formerly happy person will end the relationship. Cause & Effect is what drives change.

Of course you should not expect others to generate your happiness. That is not his concern here. HIs concern is what to do when their actions start to effect his happiness. He is tired of the cycle.

Select better partners with greater skillsets is the only thing you can do.

exhausted will be fine. He's swallowing the red pill.

We're all tired of the cycle, bro. That doesn't mean the cycle ends. I mean, it could, but that's a wager I don't have the balls to make.

"Filter better, filter better" is the obvious answer, but what if there aren't many women around to begin with? Move?

Find contentment with yourss

 

[exhausted]

Stress is a necessary part of growth. I encourage it.

So now what?

Just use them for what they are worth, nothing more than a vagina and someone to smell good when you sit on the couch with. Nothing more.
Fuch them

 

[user43770]

Just use them for what they are worth, nothing more than a vagina and someone to smell good when you sit on the couch with. Nothing more.
Fuch them

Easy there. Get yourself right first, then come back to it all.

Nothing to be mad about. Think of it as your son breaking the rules: you discipline him, but you don't beat him senseless. He didn't know any better.

Treat game just like that.

 

[bigneil]

Definitions require specificity or the term becomes utterly meaningless. Hypergamy has been similarly defined for centuries as well. prah Winfrey? Not hypergamous. She has been with Stedman for years rather than trying to get with someone of higher social status than she is (or someone of higher status than Stedman for that matter. She loves Stedman. Period.)

Needle off record. Did BE just use Oprah Winfrey as her example that Hypergamy (defined as a woman marrying a man richer than herself) does not exist?

Consider (and assuming Oprah doesn't go interracial):

• Oprah is the fifth richest black human on Earth.
• There are only FOUR black men on Earth (out of 650 Million total) who Oprah could “hyperg” to.
• 99.99999938% of the black men on Earth have less money than Oprah.
• Only 1 in 163 Million black men on Earth have more money than Oprah. None live in the US.
• Oprah is the 274th richest American.
• Oprah was arguably the most successful black person of the 20th Century.
• Unless she married Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or the Sha of Israel, Oprah couldn’t become any wealthier via marriage.
• BeExcellent literally provides what is (nearly) mathematically the worst possible female hypergamy counterexample (granted, it could have been worse – but Oprah would need to be a lesbian).
• A historically bad example like this is how BeExcellent tried to defend her emotional standpoint that marriage is good for men because not all women are like that.
• BeExcellent should stick to examples of women she knows from the country club, or perhaps the Trustafarian 21 year old girls who she rents some of her seaside mansions to while she is busy choosing between a variety of 35 year old millionaire alpha types at her disposal.

[/URL
]

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

Needle off record. Did BE just use Oprah Winfrey as her example that Hypergamy (defined as a woman marrying a man richer than herself) does not exist?

Consider (and assuming Oprah doesn't go interracial):

• Oprah is the fifth richest black human on Earth.
• There are only FOUR black men on Earth (out of 650 Million total) who Oprah could “hyperg” to.
• 99.99999938% of the black men on Earth have less money than Oprah.
• Only 1 in 163 Million black men on Earth have more money than Oprah. None live in the US.
• Oprah is the 274th richest American.
• Oprah was arguably the most successful black person of the 20th Century.
• Unless she married Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos or the Sha of Israel, Oprah couldn’t become any wealthier via marriage.
• BeExcellent literally provides what is (nearly) mathematically the worst possible female hypergamy counterexample (granted, it could have been worse – but Oprah would need to be a lesbian).
• A historically bad example like this is how BeExcellent tried to defend her emotional standpoint that marriage is good for men because not all women are like that.
• BeExcellent should stick to examples of women she knows from the country club, or perhaps the Trustafarian 21 year old girls who she rents some of her seaside mansions to while she is busy choosing between a variety of 35 year old millionaire alpha types at her disposal.

[/URL
]

Plus, it’s not like Oprah has a high SMV. Seriously, who wants that? She’s not beautiful and who in the name of god wants to listen to her?

Yes, she’s rich as Fvck, but who cares?

-Augustus-

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

@BeExcellent,

Do you think that if a woman is wealthy, it raises her SMV?

-Augustus-

 

[The Duke]

.

 

[The Duke]

If the external market forces didn't effect GURU, he wouldn't stack his dates like he claims which effect his internal happiness.

If the external market forces didn't effect GURU, he wouldn't demand a prenup for marriage as he knows the potential of failure may have on his financial happiness!

If he wasn't effected by women's actions he would not have instituted change or put provisions in place that help insure his happiness.

Guru, I'm not buying your fancy wordy bullschitt that you are immune. That's your ego showing off again.

 

[exhausted]

There is no error in what Exhausted is stating here. You can take a "whole, complete, and happy person" and put them in a relationship with a dysfunctional person that starts drama, can't act right, plays games etc and the other person will be effected. After that person has been effected enough, the whole, complete, and formerly happy person will end the relationship. Cause & Effect is what drives change.

Of course you should not expect others to generate your happiness. That is not his concern here. HIs concern is what to do when their actions start to effect his happiness. He is tired of the cycle.

Select better partners with greater skillsets is the only thing you can do.

Well explained.

That is the difficulty these girls hide their crazy for a year before it comes out little by little.

But definitely be picky.

 

[exhausted]

This is a very good insightful conversation.

 

[guru1000]

The ancillary discussion is can any market affect my "overall happiness" and "volition"? My position is no. The only exception to the volition fork is obeying laws.

If the external market forces didn't effect GURU, he wouldn't stack his dates like he claims which effect his internal happiness.

Event: Howie and Guru set up 50 dates online. Many dates flake.

Guru: Double- and triple stack them and continue
Howie: Complain about OLD and women, and/or maybe take a break

Here, my volition and overall happiness are unchanged.

Here Howie complains, not generally happy and perhaps may even take a break.

OLD altered Howie's volition and happiness, not Guru's.

If the external market forces didn't effect GURU, he wouldn't demand a prenup for marriage as he knows the potential of failure may have on his financial happiness!

Guru: If Guru wanted to marry and the marriage institution was no longer favorable to Guru, then Guru would get married with a prenup
Howie: If Howie wanted to marry and the marriage institution was no longer favorable to Howie, then Howie would not get married

Guru's volition and happiness are unaffected.

Howie's volition and happiness are affected insofar as Howie's volition changed, succumbing to the market, which is not bad until Howie comes on SoSuave to complain about the market with Tenacity

If he wasn't effected by women's actions he would not have instituted change or put provisions in place that help insure his happiness.

Putting provisions in place to keep happiness and keep volition is called being smart.

You should try it.

 

[BeExcellent]

Welcome back @bigneil !

In response to your question @Augustus_McCrae about wealth adding to a woman's SMV...

In my experience it isn't about wealth per se. From the standpoint of a woman having the skill set it takes to create success (as opposed to the wealth itself - a subtle but important distinction) I find personally that men I go out with greatly appreciate my having that skill set without exception.

At dinner last night the man I'm seeing told me he is proud of me, proud of my accomplishments and my ability to take care of myself and mine (read appreciation for the fact I am not seeking his resources)...but when we are in social settings he tends to brag about my accomplishments to his friends.

He is proud I am more than just hot. Everyone can see the physical presentation. He likes that heads turn when I enter a room but he likes telling people there's more to me than looks.

This man has no issue attracting very pretty women. He wants more than the physical. A woman like me is a good reflection on him. That is multi factorial.

 

[Tenacity]

The ancillary discussion is can any market affect my "overall happiness" and "volition"? My position is no. The only exception to the volition fork is obeying laws.



Event: Howie and Guru set up 50 dates online. Many dates flake.

Guru: Double- and triple stack them and continue
Howie: Complain about OLD and women, and/or maybe take a break

Here, my volition and overall happiness are unchanged.

Here Howie complains, not generally happy and perhaps may even take a break.

OLD altered Howie's volition and happiness, not Guru's.


Guru: If Guru wanted to marry and the marriage institution was no longer favorable to Guru, then Guru would get married with a prenup
Howie: If Howie wanted to marry and the marriage institution was no longer favorable to Howie, then Howie would not get married

Guru's volition and happiness are unaffected.

Howie's volition and happiness are affected insofar as Howie's volition changed, succumbing to the market, which is not bad until Howie comes on SoSuave to complain about the market with Tenacity


Putting provisions in place to keep happiness and keep volition is called being smart.

You should try it.

Guru there are two main sides on Sosuave today......which makes for great discussions by the way.

- Side A: Believes the dating market has completely and utterly changed to the point where LTRs are practically non-existent, no matter what level of self-development, success, or level of prosperity one achieves.

- Side B: Believes that the onus is on the individual, if the individual is quality enough or has whatever required characteristics, then the market will provide to said individual the level of success based on the characteristics he has.

People like myself and @Urbanyst are Side A and people like yourself and @BeExcellent are Side B.

So either Side A is right, or Side B is right, or there's a Side C which is sort of an "in between".

Guru you have just admitted yourself that you don't date American Women for that list of crap you provided that American Women provide. Black Women especially. Then you turn around and say guys can't blame the MARKET for issues with dating American Women, even though you list out a ton of things that American Women are doing as a generic whole (the market) which is why you won't date them.

So sometimes I just get completely confused on your positions lol. Here you are saying that the Market can't affect your happiness, so if you become a victim of IDENTITY THEFT (external force) and a dude hacks your bank accounts, credit cards, etc., to where you have to make SERIOUS adjustments to lifestyle until everything gets back in order.........you mean to tell me that's not going to piss you off? Come on dude lol.

You and @BeExcellent are divorced, why? Well, because external forces that you couldn't control destroyed the duration of your marriage. So how can you guys say that market forces, environment, etc., doesn't matter? How can you keep preaching a "you are the only commonality" message when we don't live in a vacuum and at no time, are we the only commonality?

How can you NOT see that we are operating in a WILD WILD WEST in terms of the American dating market......where tradition is out of the window and everybody is just doing whatever the hell they want to do?

 

[malz1]

Hypergamy defined:



Hypergamy IS a woman’s inclination to trade up based on status and wealth.

Hypergamy IS NOT:

Mitigated;
Subliminated;
Dependent on comfort;
Losing out to charm;
Masculinity;
Superceded by your not taking her out or boring her.

Don’t force fit the definition to serve your fallacious point.

As I stated: When a girl has eyes only for you, hypergamy is dead.

Guru, c'mon man. You know you're wrong. You're using two differently nuanced definitions to serve your point, and even then your point fails to be argued with them.

Hypergamy defined:



Hypergamy IS a woman’s inclination to trade up based on status and wealth.

Hypergamy IS NOT:

Mitigated;
Subliminated;
Dependent on comfort;
Losing out to charm;
Masculinity;
Superceded by your not taking her out or boring her.

Don’t force fit the definition to serve your fallacious point.

As I stated: When a girl has eyes only for you, hypergamy is dead.

You've used two differently nuanced definitions, one focused on action and the other on desire. You switched to whichever one was convenient to support your points, and even the latter definition you later bolded to show disagreement of, you had neglected to bold the phrase "desire" to make a point about action. The definitions referenced don't even necessarilly include wealth, but you made that apart of your statement about hypergamy too. Weird.

You kept mentioning needs, but how did you come to discover and verify such needs? How can you test if hypergamy is "dead" if it's but a desire? What does "When a girl has eyes only for you, hypergamy is dead" even mean as a hypothetical when it can't really be tested. It has no existential grounding to it so it practically is saying nothing.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The days of hypergamy in this forum are dead. I will crush poster by poster as they appear.

Do your worst to me foul being! But you’ll have to get through Urbanyst first lol. And anyone who decides to argue with him, I bid them farewell, for their minds will be corrupted from the endless cycle of idiocy that will perpetuate evermore.

No Sir, Hypergamy is specifically associated with a woman marrying or dating UP, based specifically on Money, Wealth, and Class. Anything else is not Hypergamy.

Wrong. Hypergamy is deeply rooted within women. The concept of marriage has only been around for maybe a couple thousand years. Evolution has taken place over the course of several HUNDRED thousands of years, if not MILLIONS. You cannot undo what nature has created so easily except via mass extinction; this plays into natural selection and all that. You read the word ‘marrying’ simply because when speaking about humans, using the term ‘mating’ is just weird because we talk about ourselves. Using the word ‘human’ like I did just now is weird. But replace ‘marrying’ with ‘mating’ and the whole game changes.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

My brother sent me this hehehe

 

[exhausted]

Welcome back @bigneil !

In response to your question @Augustus_McCrae about wealth adding to a woman's SMV...

In my experience it isn't about wealth per se. From the standpoint of a woman having the skill set it takes to create success (as opposed to the wealth itself - a subtle but important distinction) I find personally that men I go out with greatly appreciate my having that skill set without exception.

At dinner last night the man I'm seeing told me he is proud of me, proud of my accomplishments and my ability to take care of myself and mine (read appreciation for the fact I am not seeking his resources)...but when we are in social settings he tends to brag about my accomplishments to his friends.

He is proud I am more than just hot. Everyone can see the physical presentation. He likes that heads turn when I enter a room but he likes telling people there's more to me than looks.

This man has no issue attracting very pretty women. He wants more than the physical. A woman like me is a good reflection on him. That is multi factorial.

Most women dont have your maturity to see these positive things.

Instead they selfishly only look at what men are doing for them, all the time.

The best thing you can do for a man is show him your appreciation, when we are appreciated it makes us work harder in every aspect of life including work home love and such.