Is it even possible to have an awesome relationship where a couple never fights?

[bigdave17]

I read about people's experiences dating and it's terrifying to me (I have never had a GF) because the quality of my life right now is absolutely fantastic. I have all the money I could want to buy and do whatever I want. I am healthy as a bull, I have fantastic family and friends, great hobbies/interests. It's terrifying to me when people talk about how much of a pain in the ass their GFs are


Is it even possible to have an awesome relationship that adds to your quality of life with an attractive girl nowadays?

 

[bigneil]

Not only is it not possible to avoid conflict with women, but it would be terrible if it happened.

Conflict is where you develop passion. Making it through conflict is how you strengthen the bond.

When a man avoids conflict with a woman he is acting female. While a man should never argue with her, complain or explain (except when briefly calling her on her bull****), he should walk away immediately and force her to reel him back in. This is to train her on what is acceptable.

Forget the girl who stays every day. To train women in 2017 it takes months or years. My best relationship is one where I've given her a few weeks space here and there and she always came back more interested than before. It's even better if you can run into her by chance while on a date, after having walked away.

Conflict Example

I realized in this Star Trek episode (perhaps the best ever) that Kirk and Spock are the classic Driver and Analyst personality times, and what it's like for a man to train a woman. (Forgive me if in this analogy Spock is a woman). Captain Kirk, a Driver, boils things down to right versus wrong is quick to anger when things are wrong. Meanwhile, he doesn't hold a grudge. The Analyst Spock boils things down to Logical/Illogical and uses denial and dismissal when things are illogical. The personality types may be reversed.

The Analyst is slow to anger but then lashes out. If you look closely you might see this conflict in your own relationships. Here, Kirk needs to push Spock's buttons to make him angry (something Spock rarely ever is). "I think I know what to do, but it's not without considerable risk... Spock is much stronger than the average human... aroused he could kill... but it's a chance I have to take".

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Not only is it not possible to avoid conflict with women, but it would be terrible if it happened.

Conflict is where you develop passion. Making it through conflict is how you strengthen the bond.

When a man avoids conflict with a woman he is acting female. While a man should never argue with her, complain or explain (except when briefly calling her on her bull****), he should walk away immediately and force her to reel him back in. This is to train her on what is acceptable.

Forget the girl who stays every day. To train women in 2017 it takes months or years. My best relationship is one where I've given her a few weeks space here and there and she always came back more interested than before. It's even better if you can run into her by chance while on a date, after having walked away.

Conflict Example

I realized in this Star Trek episode (perhaps the best ever) that Kirk and Spock are the classic Driver and Analyst personality times, and what it's like for a man to train a woman. (Forgive me if in this analogy Spock is a woman). Captain Kirk, a Driver, boils things down to right versus wrong is quick to anger when things are wrong. Meanwhile, he doesn't hold a grudge. The Analyst Spock boils things down to Logical/Illogical and uses denial and dismissal when things are illogical. The personality types may be reversed.

The Analyst is slow to anger but then lashes out. If you look closely you might see this conflict in your own relationships. Here, Kirk needs to push Spock's buttons to make him angry (something Spock rarely ever is). "I think I know what to do, but it's not without considerable risk... Spock is much stronger than the average human... aroused he could kill... but it's a chance I have to take".

Wait, is @bigneil back?

 

[bigneil]

Wait, is @bigneil back?

Yes, after my controversial singles topped the charts I was banned from the airwaves, but I'm back with a full album.

BTW I never had any account other than this.

 

[The Duke]

I had a great relationship with my exwife whom was a HB8 and even taller than me! We met at the end of highschool, dated long distance thru college. Got married a few years after college.
14yrs of a 15yr relationship were damn near perfect. We never fought. So yes its possible, but I highly doubt I will ever find it again.

Here is why it worked:

-She knew her role.
-She was confident and highly secure with herself.
-She was always a good listener and wanted to do better.
-Highly rational.
-Never jealous.
-Hardworker.
-No cluster B issues.
-We both came from good families with no divorce.
-We both had the same views of the world.
-She was a big supporter of me.
-We always talked thru issues that came up.
-Always respectful to each other. Never any name calling or someone getting irate at the other.
-We always gave each other space when needed.

Our SMV was pretty equal. She was the All-American girl next door that everyone enjoyed being around and was comfortable hanging with the boys.

Her only shortcomings were she liked to buy new clothes/shoes. She probably had over 200 pairs of shoes. She also had a strong desire for male attention but nothing disrespectful however an insecure guy would have never worked with her.

The less cahk a woman has had the better off you will be. I know that sounds obvious, but women aren't capable of multiple failed relationships. Those failures are like a cancer inside them. It effects ever single relationship going forward. Today, my exwife is not the stable woman she once was.

 

[Alvafe]

I had a great relationship with my exwife whom was a HB8 and even taller than me! We met at the end of highschool, dated long distance thru college. Got married a few years after college.
14yrs of a 15yr relationship were damn near perfect. We never fought. So yes its possible, but I highly doubt I will ever find it again.

Here is why it worked:

-She knew her role.
-She was confident and highly secure with herself.
-She was always a good listener and wanted to do better.
-Highly rational.
-Never jealous.
-Hardworker.
-No cluster B issues.
-We both came from good families with no divorce.
-We both had the same views of the world.
-She was a big supporter of me.
-We always talked thru issues that came up.
-Always respectful to each other. Never any name calling or someone getting irate at the other.
-We always gave each other space when needed.

Our SMV was pretty equal. She was the All-American girl next door that everyone enjoyed being around and was comfortable hanging with the boys.

Her only shortcomings were she liked to buy new clothes/shoes. She probably had over 200 pairs of shoes. She also had a strong desire for male attention but nothing disrespectful however an insecure guy would have never worked with her.

sorry to point out but chances are that is why you are not together anymore

as long 2 people are together they will eventually crash, only diference is really how well you both will fight and if you will or not hold grudges,

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I fight with girls after about 10 seconds if we're being genuine.

 

[sosousage]

as far as I know all women initiate fights with they boyfriends. its their biological stuff

I fight with girls after about 10 seconds if we're being genuine.

Is it because you get rejected in less than 10s and then you have to show you didnt care?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

as far as I know all women initiate fights with they boyfriends. its their biological stuff


Is it because you get rejected in less than 10s and then you have to show you didnt care?

No I just argue with everyone. Just like I argue with everyone on this site.

 

[The Duke]

sorry to point out but chances are that is why you are not together anymore

as long 2 people are together they will eventually crash, only diference is really how well you both will fight and if you will or not hold grudges,

What do you think the reason was?

 

[Urbanyst]

Not only is it not possible to avoid conflict with women, but it would be terrible if it happened.

Conflict is where you develop passion. Making it through conflict is how you strengthen the bond.

When a man avoids conflict with a woman he is acting female. While a man should never argue with her, complain or explain (except when briefly calling her on her bull****), he should walk away immediately and force her to reel him back in. This is to train her on what is acceptable.

Forget the girl who stays every day. To train women in 2017 it takes months or years. My best relationship is one where I've given her a few weeks space here and there and she always came back more interested than before. It's even better if you can run into her by chance while on a date, after having walked away.

Conflict Example

I realized in this Star Trek episode (perhaps the best ever) that Kirk and Spock are the classic Driver and Analyst personality times, and what it's like for a man to train a woman. (Forgive me if in this analogy Spock is a woman). Captain Kirk, a Driver, boils things down to right versus wrong is quick to anger when things are wrong. Meanwhile, he doesn't hold a grudge. The Analyst Spock boils things down to Logical/Illogical and uses denial and dismissal when things are illogical. The personality types may be reversed.

The Analyst is slow to anger but then lashes out. If you look closely you might see this conflict in your own relationships. Here, Kirk needs to push Spock's buttons to make him angry (something Spock rarely ever is). "I think I know what to do, but it's not without considerable risk... Spock is much stronger than the average human... aroused he could kill... but it's a chance I have to take".

You need to find a level of conflict you can be comfortable with and enjoy. Otherwise these b*tches aren't worth it. Navigating the business world and making MONEY is hard enough without female sh*t tests to deal with lol.

I've come to realize its better for the soul to meet conflict head-on. Letting people get away with sh*t while you hold your tongue is just a heart attack waiting to happen. No woman is worth a heart attack. I would rather tell her off and let her respond however she wants. Even if it means she leaves (which she will do anyway no matter what you do lol. Assuming she is under 30 like she should be).

 

[bigneil]

You need to find a level of conflict you can be comfortable with and enjoy. Otherwise these b*tches aren't worth it. Navigating the business world and making MONEY is hard enough without female sh*t tests to deal with lol.

I've come to realize its better for the soul to meet conflict head-on. Letting people get away with sh*t while you hold your tongue is just a heart attack waiting to happen. No woman is worth a heart attack. I would rather tell her off and let her respond however she wants. Even if it means she leaves (which she will do anyway no matter what you do lol. Assuming she is under 30 like she should be).

Yes, the best strategy is: when she does something you don't like you walk away and see whether she makes a SERIOUS effort to get you back. Also, I've found that fate plays a huge role. You will run into certain women at multiple locations. They find this extremely romantic, especially if you recall details of the first time you met. Girls who like you will remember every word you said 6 months ago.

 

[Roober]

sorry to point out but chances are that is why you are not together anymore

as long 2 people are together they will eventually crash, only diference is really how well you both will fight and if you will or not hold grudges,

I tend to agree with this. When there is zero conflict in a relationship, they are both keeping quiet, often building resentment towards one another. There doesn't have to be major blowouts, or physical fights or anything, but there is going to be disagreements. People are going to get upset, but then it is up to the couple to work it out. Zero conflict is usually a result of one partner ignoring the other, heading off to bed, or just feeling invalidated. Those behaviors can survive, but often create an enormous amount of resentment.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Tension and release: they're what make movies, music and relationships work. The trick is to get the balance right.

 

[Alvafe]

What do you think the reason was?

don't know can be anything, from one day you just get tired and leave, to a little thing become such a huge deal you each start to toss everything out, or since you pointed out it you was insecure since she didn't care much about you.

woman are crazy they need feels, one way to get it is to get in a fight, a verbal argument with she can let go all her feelings about what she think is wrong, or even the guy calling her out on her bad behavior.

I was jsut pointing out one little you, you mention your ex-wife and you ahd that relationship, if is a ex then thing didn't work out, can be from she feel like cheating to you blaming yourself for being insecure, and now you mention she is not the same as before. people tend to think on only the good times so you think it was all marvelous but are forgetting something.

its your life you know what did happen and you did hopefully learned from it like anything who can happen to us we can only hope we learn and do better next time

 

[Bob S]

It is possible but rare. As a confident man, you can take charge of the situation at all times and if a woman tries to change yourself to suit herself pursue others and drop her. Your lifestyle is not worth changing for a woman anything less than meets your standards. Good luck.

 

[The Duke]

@Alvafe - I'm a very secure guy that's why we had 14 really good years out of 15.

I want to clarify that I don't think FIGHTING is a good thing. Fighting is what people do that have poor communication skills. That's too severe.....too much tension as @Thorninmyside pointed out. However some CONFLICT in the right doses at the right times is good and we did have conflicts that we worked thru.

It ended because I stopped giving her the attention she needed. It began with her complaining about her work. I eventually put time limits on her biatch sessions and would get up and walk out mid-sentence. That unhappiness at her job leaked into our relationship. I got turned off by it. I immersed myself deeper in my hobby and when I did, she found a new guy! She fuhked him for a few months before I figured it out. My neighbor figured it out before I did. I was naïve to that kind of behavior.

That unhappiness with her job came at a time when she was getting promoted thru the different layers of management. I know she had some growing pains as all managers do. Another change it brought was her salary was now close to mine, yet I still controlled the money in the marriage. That bothered her a little.

 

[lizardking82]

@Alvafe - I'm a very secure guy that's why we had 14 really good years out of 15.

I want to clarify that I don't think FIGHTING is a good thing. Fighting is what people do that have poor communication skills. That's too severe.....too much tension as @Thorninmyside pointed out. However some CONFLICT in the right doses at the right times is good and we did have conflicts that we worked thru.

It ended because I stopped giving her the attention she needed. It began with her complaining about her work. I eventually put time limits on her biatch sessions and would get up and walk out mid-sentence. That unhappiness at her job leaked into our relationship. I got turned off by it. I immersed myself deeper in my hobby and when I did, she found a new guy! She fuhked him for a few months before I figured it out. My neighbor figured it out before I did. I was naïve to that kind of behavior.

That unhappiness with her job came at a time when she was getting promoted thru the different layers of management. I know she had some growing pains as all managers do. Another change it brought was her salary was now close to mine, yet I still controlled the money in the marriage. That bothered her a little.

That just goes to prove that it was your rightful and right behaviour as a man that kept this woman in check. 15 years is a damn, damn long time and kudos to you for making last that whole ****in long in the USA of today's time.

One thing I am getting to understand about women in general, although in Albania they are a bit kept in check by the traditions, but just a bit as they are starting to get off the rails, too, one thing I understand about them is that 99% of them (if not all) are just mediocre beings. We guys expect them to be on their best behaviour and all that and create fantasies and expectations about them that they can never live up to. Partly out fault, of course, but also partly their being so average in most things LOL