You know
@deesade, it really depends on what you want outta life as a man, and more than that as a human being.
Some men are like your one grandfather who was a player until the end. When you talk about him I get the image of the Dos Equuis guy, you know...."The most interesting man in the world", and I think that is great if that is the lifestyle you choose and subscribe to. Mae West was a female version of that lifestyle...one of my favorite quotes from her was "I am a woman who lost my reputation...and never missed it"
Some women (rare, but some) are like Katharine Hepburn, who never married but was the other woman to Spencer Tracy for years, even having a daughter with him. She loved her lover and her autonomy and didn't care what anybody else thought.
It takes guts to swim against the social tide (as your grandfather, Mae West and Katharine Hepburn all did). You for example get shamed by your family all the time for doing something other than what you "should" be doing. I say more power to you. You are correct to be doing life on your own terms however you define that. To hell with everybody else. They aren't living your life. You are.
Some men and some women do want another person to "do life" with. Through the ups, the downs, the good times and the sh1t shows. It's easy to get overly caught up in all the social constructs that society or "they" (whoever the ubiquitous "they" are) dictate about how people are supposed to be and live and do.
I get fed up with the social constructs too honestly, although I believe it is worthwhile knowing how to navigate these constructs. At the end of the day we all have to make individual choices regarding what is most beneficial to our own welfare and well-being.
So the answer to your question:
What do I get from fulfilling "all your needs" that I don't get from a plate relationship within my frame?
Depends entirely on you. If the "plate relationships" suit your needs, then all is well.
What happens here is that there are other men for whom the plate relationships are not enough. Those men must determine what their own needs are and ideally find someone who can meet those needs, and in a reciprocal way he meets hers as well. Relationships happen at the micro level between 2 individual people. They are defined strictly by the people in them. Nothing else matters at the end of the day.