Online Dating is a Lost Cause

[skinnyguy]

1. Fat girl goes in OLD, says all men are losers
2. AFC goes on OLD, says all women are trash

Now you see why I’m not using it?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

My primary vehicle for the meeting of women is everyday life. I used to also go out to bars every now and then. Now that I've given up the bar scene, I will use Badoo from time to time as a supplement to my everyday activities.

As I write this, I am on a pleasant train ride to a nearby city for a date [with a Vietnamese woman]. As I was about to leave, I struck up another online conversation with a woman. She asked me why I was going to my destination, I told her I had a date, and now I have two dates planned in the same day [this one is Korean] for she lives in the same city.. ha ha. These are my first dates from online in ages, so it will be interesting to see how they go.

Ok, so date number 1 had postponed the date for two hours... just after arriving in the city. No doubt she has another date organized too.

 

[machoMax]

I think that "Glassguy" explained best!

 

[Fuzion174]

Online dating websites are scams anyway why pay for services that you could do on IG or Facebook for free meeting ppl in real life will always be the best choice

 

[Bayne05]

I NEVER take any women on OLD seriously, they are all pump and dump to me, nothing more. I don't care how pretty or sophisticated she appears.

I just put up a few pics, nothing fancy. I don't even use witty openers or bio's. I don't bother reading her profile, most of them are fake "I'm a good girl" BS anyway. I swipe right, we match, I send a simple "Hi". If she responds I don't engage in useless banter I just go for the kill, I sexually escalate and arrange a fvck date within the first 10 - 15 messages, I don't play that "let's meet up get to know each other" BS, I want to fvck and that's exactly what I tell her. You'd be surprised how many girls will say yes when you simply say "let's hookup", you just have to pick the right time to say it. I literally have a list of girls on standby just waiting for me to call them over to fvck. Some end up blocking me because they got tired of waiting lol. And no I don't have model looks, very far from it. Just a guy who knows what tf he wants.

It's sad to see guys who still put online b!tches on a pedestal. You see, OLD is at it's prime now, everyone is using it. 5 years ago you'd text 20 girls and get 12-15 textbacks but now these b!tches get so much attention they've all become stuck up and choosy. One minute you'll be having a great time talking to her the next minute she's ignoring you like she doesn't know who you are, obviously because she's found a better guy than you. It's brutal. If you want to get anything out of OLD you have to be bold and escalate so you'll know where you stand with her. What do you have to lose? A HB8? You'll find another!

 

[xxx111]

I tried online dating for a while. I want to say I'm average at best in the face but I'm tall so that helps. However online everyone is tall so that doesn't help. I didn't put any effort into writing some fantastic ad. It's generic. But so are the profiles of the women I write to. It gets old going out with women who I feel no attraction to because that's the best I can get online. Match, POF, eharmony, they're all the same. Write to a bunch of women, only the least attractive of them will respond to you. Go on a date and never hear back from them. Mind you I have been on some dates with attractive women but it didn't go anywhere, and those were few and far between. Tinder? I won't even bother. I swipe right a few hundred times and get a few obese women that are 10 years older than me as matches. I even ran some experiments because the fact of the matter is, I felt damn ugly over this whole experience!

1) created a profile of a somewhat attractive woman on POF. Each time I logged on, I'd get at least 25 messages that day. Dudes only message active members to not waste time with inactive accounts. I do the same thing.
2) took a picture of a male model and used it as a tinder picture. Swiped right 1000 times or so and got maybe 30-40 "average" looking women. Only one out of these women did I find attractive. The funny thing is the 10 year older obese women didn't bother with the male model. He didn't get those kind of matches. But what he did get were average women-not hot women you'd expect a male model to get.
3) I did a few more experiments and what I found was even guys I know with hot wives (who aren't sugardaddys or anything, they were on the same socioeconomic scale as their wife), don't get any better results as I do.
4) I did use another male model as a POF account and wrote to women and a lot more of them responded but again these weren't hot women. So I'm not saying looks don't matter. I know it does, but it's not a linear scale, a guy who is a 5 is not going to get a 5 from online. Let alone a 6 or 7. I read on another site a study, the bottom 80% of men are competing over the bottom 20% of women. The top 20% of men are competing for the top 80% of women on Tinder. If you're average at best don't even bother with tinder unless you have a really killer profile.
5) It does depend on where you are, if you're in a heavy high male % area (as I am) you're likely to get a lower response rate, and if you're in a lower %male area, women actually write to you, but it doesn't mean you're going to start getting hotties if you couldn't before.

I have dated women who wouldn't give me the time of day online. My last girlfriend was an amateur model who was pretty attractive. I was recently at the bar and struck up a conversation with a woman I thought was attractive. Got her number and we started communicating afterward. Turns out she is a "local celebrity" who appeared a few times on bar rescue and is an amateur model. Do you think she would have given me the time of day on tinder when all I get is obese 10 year older women as matches? And just yesterday a woman in my life who I would say is an 8 or so, possibly 9 (because she is slim and has a pretty face) basically told me she is infatuated with me.

I have a lot better luck in person---the problem is I am never around enough women, so the opportunity doesn't always arise, but when it does, I have a much better chance than swiping right 200 times. There are about 3 guys to 1 girl online, they take away probably my only advantage, that I'm tall, because they all inflate their height. Average guy online is over 6' a lot more than real life.

But it's still something worth doing in your spare time, because you never know.

You see how many women have so many qualifiers on their profile, like "don't even write to me if you don't have certain things." Or only accept messages from certain guys, or require it to be a long email. Do any guys do that? Probably not, probably not even the most attractive.

 

[Young OG]

Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?

Your first mistake was using OKC. That site sucks. Get on Tinder. Your better off on there because you can only send a message when they match with you. At least you know there interested then. Use a funny question as an opener.

 

[noBSgames]

I NEVER take any women on OLD seriously, they are all pump and dump to me, nothing more. I don't care how pretty or sophisticated she appears.

I just put up a few pics, nothing fancy. I don't even use witty openers or bio's. I don't bother reading her profile, most of them are fake "I'm a good girl" BS anyway. I swipe right, we match, I send a simple "Hi". If she responds I don't engage in useless banter I just go for the kill, I sexually escalate and arrange a fvck date within the first 10 - 15 messages, I don't play that "let's meet up get to know each other" BS, I want to fvck and that's exactly what I tell her. You'd be surprised how many girls will say yes when you simply say "let's hookup", you just have to pick the right time to say it. I literally have a list of girls on standby just waiting for me to call them over to fvck. Some end up blocking me because they got tired of waiting lol. And no I don't have model looks, very far from it. Just a guy who knows what tf he wants.

It's sad to see guys who still put online b!tches on a pedestal. You see, OLD is at it's prime now, everyone is using it. 5 years ago you'd text 20 girls and get 12-15 textbacks but now these b!tches get so much attention they've all become stuck up and choosy. One minute you'll be having a great time talking to her the next minute she's ignoring you like she doesn't know who you are, obviously because she's found a better guy than you. It's brutal. If you want to get anything out of OLD you have to be bold and escalate so you'll know where you stand with her. What do you have to lose? A HB8? You'll find another!

Some of these women want guys to be like 7Ft tall.. i'm like holy hell they are knocking a lot of matches out.

 

[Murk]

@Desdinova @Murkserious @cola @lizardking82
@marmel75
I'm curious to hear more about the exact method you guys use to get responses. @cola mentioned the having pictures at different locations. What do you guys write in your profile descriptions or messages that you use to start conversations?

Feel free to PM me if you want to keep any information private.

How do you actually get lots of matches on there? Is it just based on pictures?

Ok first part, so my profile is this:

"Well endowed billionaire, I'm kind of a big deal.

I like reading books and walks in the park. Only joking, I can't read and parks are shyt but enough about me.

6'2"

That's all I have - it says nothing other than I'm 6'2 and I have a sense of humour. Lot of women will msg me asking about the well endowed billionaire part, what's wrong with parks, your profile made me laugh etc. I only added the 6'2 part in later as women would ask and I realised it's a selling point of honestly the profile worked just the same as before and anyone is feel free to copy paste and use it - just play it off as a joke and come across as light hearted - seems to work well and you can have some great banter talking about your billions, endowment, lack of reading ability and the fact you hate parks.

Second part - pics.

I have 3 pictures up - the first one is a head/shoulder shot of my smiling, it's a strong pic (one i use for whatsapp) you can see a dimple and a nice jawline. However I don't feel that I look like that in pics now lets just say it's one of the best pics of my taken (all 3 are).

Second pic is me out with a Guinness in my hand other hand inside my jacket, wearing a cool leather jacket, shirt and jeans. I have a wry smile on my face, look very similar to the first pic for continuity.

Lastly more of a close up with some girl half cropped out, I'm wearing a tux at a black tie event you can see some smart looking white guys in the background sitting and i'm doing the lightskin guy drake squint eyes face.

That's it - no abs, no top off, no holidays, no real outdoors - just me, a beer and a tux.

I just get into a general conversation and try to come across as funny, busy with an active life and a decent job (I work in the city). Then you ask for a number or just give them yours and say whatsapp me and 9/10 it will work.

This is not gonna work for everyone I am a handsome mixed race (black/white) man and in London we are like the in thing right now pretty much every girl I mention a Jamaican Irish mix to send heart eye emojis. Having said that my short friend I've previously mentioned who is average seems to clean up on OLD. He has a strict 3-4 bars he takes the girls to and by the last one they're quite drunk and end up sleeping with him. He's about 5"7.

You just need to incorporate real life things happening to you into your chat to make you more relatable and normal. I told some girls I over bought food shopping had having to organise my fridge freezer and tactically eat things that are going out of date first and how cherry tomatoes are the staple of all my meals for 2 days. Talk to the girls like a friend some of the time, then switch to being sexual and arranging a date. Not too forward - spend 10-20 min breaking them down like a friend, be funny, give them reasons to come back to you and chat (they are spinning so many plates of these apps).

Edit: My openers consist of generic "Hey gorgeous" "what's up sexy?" (stolen from a user here) or they open with similar or a comment on my profile. It's not so much the opener but how you lead the convo from there IME.

Good luck!

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Ok first part, so my profile is this:

"Well endowed billionaire, I'm kind of a big deal.

I like reading books and walks in the park. Only joking, I can't read and parks are shyt but enough about me.

6'2"

That's all I have - it says nothing other than I'm 6'2 and I have a sense of humour. Lot of women will msg me asking about the well endowed billionaire part, what's wrong with parks, your profile made me laugh etc. I only added the 6'2 part in later as women would ask and I realised it's a selling point of honestly the profile worked just the same as before and anyone is feel free to copy paste and use it - just play it off as a joke and come across as light hearted - seems to work well and you can have some great banter talking about your billions, endowment, lack of reading ability and the fact you hate parks.

Second part - pics.

I have 3 pictures up - the first one is a head/shoulder shot of my smiling, it's a strong pic (one i use for whatsapp) you can see a dimple and a nice jawline. However I don't feel that I look like that in pics now lets just say it's one of the best pics of my taken (all 3 are).

Second pic is me out with a Guinness in my hand other hand inside my jacket, wearing a cool leather jacket, shirt and jeans. I have a wry smile on my face, look very similar to the first pic for continuity.

Lastly more of a close up with some girl half cropped out, I'm wearing a tux at a black tie event you can see some smart looking white guys in the background sitting and i'm doing the lightskin guy drake squint eyes face.

That's it - no abs, no top off, no holidays, no real outdoors - just me, a beer and a tux.

I just get into a general conversation and try to come across as funny, busy with an active life and a decent job (I work in the city). Then you ask for a number or just give them yours and say whatsapp me and 9/10 it will work.

This is not gonna work for everyone I am a handsome mixed race (black/white) man and in London we are like the in thing right now pretty much every girl I mention a Jamaican Irish mix to send heart eye emojis. Having said that my short friend I've previously mentioned who is average seems to clean up on OLD. He has a strict 3-4 bars he takes the girls to and by the last one they're quite drunk and end up sleeping with him. He's about 5"7.

You just need to incorporate real life things happening to you into your chat to make you more relatable and normal. I told some girls I over bought food shopping had having to organise my fridge freezer and tactically eat things that are going out of date first and how cherry tomatoes are the staple of all my meals for 2 days. Talk to the girls like a friend some of the time, then switch to being sexual and arranging a date. Not too forward - spend 10-20 min breaking them down like a friend, be funny, give them reasons to come back to you and chat (they are spinning so many plates of these apps).

Edit: My openers consist of generic "Hey gorgeous" "what's up sexy?" (stolen from a user here) or they open with similar or a comment on my profile. It's not so much the opener but how you lead the convo from there IME.

Good luck!

I don't think there's any way I can replicate that. No amount of effort that I put in will get me any results.

 

[Floydispink01]

One thing I've noticed with OLD is you can't tell if the girl stinks of weed.

Took out a tinder chick last month and she looked like a f Gypsy. Dreadlocks. Loose Clothes. Obviously been hitting Cannabis all day. Told me to call her in a month and we can f.uck as she finds me attractive.

It wasn't mutual.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Going out is awful to, watching people sober and watch the fools they act like, the weak game, ugly chicks thinking they are hot. Just thinking that this is what most of what these people are going to be doing for most of their lives its sad

 

[marmel75]

My profile consisted of the different types of women on OLD and then listing the types with a bunch of tongue-in-cheek humor tossed in...I then said if they were a number 5(which was the "normal" woman") they should contact me, etc...and then a little blurb about what I was looking for etc...

I used to get a lot of responses from it and quite a few told me it was the most hilarious profile they ever read...easy pickings bro, they already like me before I met them or talked to them. All I had to do is not mess thigns up, which I definitely did not.

 

[Masculinity]

Met more interesting, higher quality, and happier women dancing salsa at a local university than using OLD. Get. Your. Moves. Down. It will get you laid like you cannot understand now haha.

Still looking to get strategies for OLD profiles though. Please PM any tips or post them on the thread for knowledge to spread.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Ok, so date number 1 had postponed the date for two hours... just after arriving in the city. No doubt she has another date organized too.

OK, so to de-brief on my Saturday online dating adventure in a nearby city - both dates were... meh. But in between the dates, whilst waiting at Starbucks, I met a lovelier woman by far, whom I've been texting tonight.

Just goes to show real life trumps cyberspace.

 

[Bible_Belt]

OK, so to de-brief on my Saturday online dating adventure in a nearby city - both dates were... meh. But in between the dates, whilst waiting at Starbucks, I met a lovelier woman by far, whom I've been texting tonight.

Just goes to show real life trumps cyberspace.

OLD is the reason you were in the Starbucks, otherwise you never would have met that girl. And had you gone by yourself just to approach women, you would have put off an entirely different vibe, and would have very likely had opposite results. You owe that girl to OLD, even though you didn't exactly meet her online.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

OLD is the reason you were in the Starbucks, otherwise you never would have met that girl. And had you gone by yourself just to approach women, you would have put off an entirely different vibe, and would have very likely had opposite results. You owe that girl to OLD, even though you didn't exactly meet her online.

Yes, there is a 'knock-on' effect. They say women are attracted to a guy that other women are supposedly attracted to. So the second on-line woman met me because she knew I was meeting another woman. And then the woman in Starbucks [the third woman] must have thought I was OK because was out on a date.

But the moral of the story here is that the spontaneous real life meeting of the woman in Starbucks well and truly trumped the other two... because in real life you approach someone you are attracted to. the two on-line women were ...meh.

 

[Masculinity]

It's interesting how we as men are often blamed for sexualizing women, yet they do the same thing and even more often than us.

 

[StrayCat]

OK, so to de-brief on my Saturday online dating adventure in a nearby city - both dates were... meh. But in between the dates, whilst waiting at Starbucks, I met a lovelier woman by far, whom I've been texting tonight.

Just goes to show real life trumps cyberspace.

How do you get a woman you were standing in line at a starbucks to be interested enough to give you her digits?

 

[sosousage]

Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?

I agree too. no matter how good with OLD I get, what clothes, what haircut, muscles, pictures, the ratio is still that i dont bang more than 10% of girls I meet. And I barely meet any new girl. You have only chances with girls that arent there longer than a month or two, after that their brain is washed and they looking for prince.

Its not their fault, its because how these apps are made. If you had 100s women banging your inbox, you would behave like lighthearted douchebag too, and only meet the best ones

but I dont see how anyone can ban tinder or badoo in a country, it happened in Arabia (I think there) but i dont know for what reason.

And whats worst, is that there are more and more women on tinder every year. so couple years ago it was 20% of women that were on facebook, today its 40% of (facebook)women that are on tinder. It means even the women you approach in real have sense of entitlement and a lot of attention online, not all, but a lot, and number will increase.