Online Dating is a Lost Cause

[Masculinity]

Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Your odds are incredibly better in the real world. I can get more dates approaching 25 women at a mall in two hours than writing messages to 150 women online. Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Cold approaches is where the action is, gentlemen. Anyone else have a similar experience with online dating?

 

[Desdinova]

Agreed 100%. Throw me in a bar for a few hours, let me approach some women, and I'll walk out of there with a phone number. Throw me online for a few hours, let me initiate communication with 20 women, and I *might* have a few messages when I log in next time (but no phone number).

Doing it all in the real world is much more efficient. You get more results for your time and you might even have fun doing it. Messaging women online results in a LOT of rejection because a large percentage of the women won't respond. If you approach *ANY* woman in the real world, you'll have 99.9% of them respond. You open a lot more doors when you approach women in the real world.

That's why I keep telling guys who focus on online dating to get the fvck out there and start interacting with people. Even if they get a date from an online dating site, they're going to struggle when it comes to the first date because they haven't had any practice interacting with women (and strangers) in the real world.

The only reason I used online dating was for times when I wasn't able to go out and approach, such as 10:00 on a Sunday night. And even though I succeeded a few times with dates, it always felt like an uphill battle trying to make my profile right and trying to send the right messages.

 

[Murk]

Disagree, I had like 92 matches on Tinder playing it casually for 3 weeks. Only one girl I asked for a number and wouldn't give it. I had to cancel and flake on a few dates because I just wasn't ready, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Deleted it though because I prefer to meet girls out and about and I was getting in way over my head and figured I'm better off matching and going on dates with these girls when I have the time.

I have a solid 10 numbers of chicks that want to meet stored in my phone for back up.

 

[Glassguy]

OLD has given women a superficial platform for attention. Let me explain.

25-35 year old single mom of 2 kids with different dads. $30K a year job, not really any education past high school because she got knocked up by dad #1 at 19. Decent on looks, maybe a 7. If you put her in a bar for 2 hours, not many men would be hitting on her or asking for her number. Even fewer would approach her if they knew her life story of drama.

She creates an account on POF, throws up 3 pics after filtering the shyte out of them and gets 10 messages the first day. Instant attention and instant gratification. All of a sudden she has men salivating over her profile because they just want to pump and dump her but all she sees is attention from men who are higher than her on the looks chart. Men that would not give her the time of day in a real life setting. All of a sudden she imagines that her worth is going much higher than it actually is which is a dangerous thing.

What these women dont understand is this: The guy that is chatting her up that is a 9 only wants to fvck her and nothing else. He would never be seen in real life hitting on her in a bar. Instead, he would be hitting on women in his own league. Women see attention as attention. I am not sure they ever realize they are a pump and dump. They have to sort out "what happened" to lose the guys attention, when they really didnt have it to begin with. The guy just wanted to smash.

Once the women go through several cycles of this, they become calloused and bitter. Thats when you see the profiles that say "I want a man to show me that you are different from the others", "I am about ready to delete this account", etc.

You could log back in after a year off from OLD and I bet you'll see 75% of the same faces on there.

So the cycle goes from- woman with low self esteem, gets attention and develops a feeling that her value is much higher than it actually is, to a pump and dump who is bitter at the world.

OLD, for me, is just an entertaining tool to snatch up a piece of @ss on occasion. There are a very few number of decent, date-able women on there, but the majority will fall somewhere in between the cycles above.

No bueno.

 

[marmel75]

Just requires a slightly different skill set. For people that have taken the time to develop it it is exceptionally easy to meet and bang women online.

 

[lizardking82]

OK Cupid and Tinder kinda thing...I don't think it is worth it. If you talk about Instagram and Facebook, different beast and you can bang women there and not only bang, but probably even find some quality women. I am not talking theoretically, have done so myself a lot of times.

 

[cola]

Online dating has always been easy lays for me.
Are they supermodels I'm banging from OLD? No.

Are they incredibly easy lays? Yes.

Need a pic of you with a woman,
A pic at the gym
And a couple good face shots..

I only bother with the girls who message me first..

 

[wifehunter]

The market is due for a correction. There's not a whole lot of quality out there, on and offline. Mostly, slutty feminist princesses in yoga pants. Thanks Disney!

 

[Masculinity]

Disagree, I had like 92 matches on Tinder playing it casually for 3 weeks. Only one girl I asked for a number and wouldn't give it. I had to cancel and flake on a few dates because I just wasn't ready, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Deleted it though because I prefer to meet girls out and about and I was getting in way over my head and figured I'm better off matching and going on dates with these girls when I have the time.

I have a solid 10 numbers of chicks that want to meet stored in my phone for back up.

@Desdinova @Murkserious @cola @lizardking82
@marmel75
I'm curious to hear more about the exact method you guys use to get responses. @cola mentioned the having pictures at different locations. What do you guys write in your profile descriptions or messages that you use to start conversations?

Feel free to PM me if you want to keep any information private.

 

[Roober]

OK Cupid and Tinder kinda thing...I don't think it is worth it. If you talk about Instagram and Facebook, different beast and you can bang women there and not only bang, but probably even find some quality women. I am not talking theoretically, have done so myself a lot of times.

How does this work?

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Disagree, I had like 92 matches on Tinder playing it casually for 3 weeks. Only one girl I asked for a number and wouldn't give it. I had to cancel and flake on a few dates because I just wasn't ready, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. Deleted it though because I prefer to meet girls out and about and I was getting in way over my head and figured I'm better off matching and going on dates with these girls when I have the time.

I have a solid 10 numbers of chicks that want to meet stored in my phone for back up.

How do you actually get lots of matches on there? Is it just based on pictures?

 

[lizardking82]

How does this work?

I am a photographer. I post my work on Instagram and Facebook and casually I post my thoughts about different kinds of topics. People like that. They see you are someone who has opinions and can argumentate them and you're not afraid to take stands or express thoughts. On the other hand, I am always working hard in my niche and that is something the ladies see and they stick to that like flies to honey.

I do my part, the ones I find interesting, I write to them. As in real life approaches, you get to find people who are interested to chat with you and that leads to sex and not only, it also leads to you having a good time going out with people. But when you're some creep with nothing to show and you're trynna date women...of course it will not go well.

 

[Macaframalama]

I like to bet-across-the board. POF and OKC have seemed to change dramatically, since coming back after a two year relationship, though. Old is all about presentation and building comfort, through wit and banter over messages and texts. Facebook and messenger is, where it's at in old today. Your photos and posts are already what you would be posting anyways and you can screen for bat chit cray or the thirst pic poster, attention chics right away. I still use witty banter on messenger, but allot of times I'll just get with a few friends and we'll all hit messenger, invite a bunch of people and throw a bonfire or house party. Offline the only other real options around here are scoping and approaching the yoga pants chics grocery shopping on Friday and Saturday, the gym or random parties.

 

[lizardking82]

People just need to understand that smartphones and laptops are part of today's reality. I have a couple of friends who are stubborn as **** in this aspect, they are convinced this is all bull****. I don't see it like that at all.

Let's face it now, will we? Smartphones were built to help things be easier for us. Since we are talking in this aspect, I will tell you how social media and smartphones makes things easier for men, in my opinion.

You got girls creating profiles, posting pictures, posting thoughts and the way they feel and what kinda music they like and what not. You can practically create an idea over a person without even having to talk to them. This is advantage number one, saves a lot of time as you only stick to girls who are into things you are, too, meaning if you listen to good music and your taste in movies are educated, you are not going to date some chick who watches Superwoman LOL

Secondly, if you are a guy who is dealing with some form of art and you;re good at it, you showcase your work and chicks see it. They like it, they comment on it and other chicks see this. Don't forget it is human nature to want what other people want and if your photos on Instagram are getting 200 likes, that creates a status and chicks love status. But never forget, you have to back it up with actual communication skills, meaning you could be famous, but you're not a "natural" in charming ladies and it will show and then it won't matter much you've got status. Publish your work, chicks dig that and you'll have it easier to talk to them since you're not talking to them from a position of nothing, you're someone who works hard and is talented and is liked by other people and you got a following of 2k. You stand a good chance to find chicks with lower followings on that social media who will want a piece of you.

Thirdly, stop resisting the market. This is the market nowadays, guys. A lot of guys here try and find a way around the market, they wanna cheat the market. You can't. The market is bigger than any of us and it is create by a plethora of reasons that we do not control. If there are ladies on social media, I will be on social media. If there are ladies on the street, I will be on the street. Go there where the thing you want is. Explore it. Do not be the guy sitting at home saying "oh no no, I will stick to old school and I will not use social media since that's for *****s". As I said above, OKCupid and similar sites will only land you loser women since a woman who registers in these sites is absolutely desperate. There ain't no decent woman giving you the straight up chance to flirt with her, forget that. Having a social profile on Instagram or Facebook does not mean you're a low quality woman or a *****. It is almost a necessity nowadays. Deal with it, learn how to play with it.

 

[Macaframalama]

People just need to understand that smartphones and laptops are part of today's reality. I have a couple of friends who are stubborn as **** in this aspect, they are convinced this is all bull****. I don't see it like that at all.

Let's face it now, will we? Smartphones were built to help things be easier for us. Since we are talking in this aspect, I will tell you how social media and smartphones makes things easier for men, in my opinion.

You got girls creating profiles, posting pictures, posting thoughts and the way they feel and what kinda music they like and what not. You can practically create an idea over a person without even having to talk to them. This is advantage number one, saves a lot of time as you only stick to girls who are into things you are, too, meaning if you listen to good music and your taste in movies are educated, you are not going to date some chick who watches Superwoman LOL

Secondly, if you are a guy who is dealing with some form of art and you;re good at it, you showcase your work and chicks see it. They like it, they comment on it and other chicks see this. Don't forget it is human nature to want what other people want and if your photos on Instagram are getting 200 likes, that creates a status and chicks love status. But never forget, you have to back it up with actual communication skills, meaning you could be famous, but you're not a "natural" in charming ladies and it will show and then it won't matter much you've got status. Publish your work, chicks dig that and you'll have it easier to talk to them since you're not talking to them from a position of nothing, you're someone who works hard and is talented and is liked by other people and you got a following of 2k. You stand a good chance to find chicks with lower followings on that social media who will want a piece of you.

Thirdly, stop resisting the market. This is the market nowadays, guys. A lot of guys here try and find a way around the market, they wanna cheat the market. You can't. The market is bigger than any of us and it is create by a plethora of reasons that we do not control. If there are ladies on social media, I will be on social media. If there are ladies on the street, I will be on the street. Go there where the thing you want is. Explore it. Do not be the guy sitting at home saying "oh no no, I will stick to old school and I will not use social media since that's for *****s". As I said above, OKCupid and similar sites will only land you loser women since a woman who registers in these sites is absolutely desperate. There ain't no decent woman giving you the straight up chance to flirt with her, forget that. Having a social profile on Instagram or Facebook does not mean you're a low quality woman or a *****. It is almost a necessity nowadays. Deal with it, learn how to play with it.

Agreed. Social media is just another tool and I would hate to think, that all I had was a hammer in my tool box, when I went to drive a screw into a 2x4.

 

[skinnyguy]

These fat women are getting 150 messages per day. Even if I were to score off OLD, it wouldn’t be worth it. They think they are God’s gift to men.

 

[Trump]

Joined OK Cupid hoping to expand my horizons meeting women, but I couldn't have been more wrong. I'm an offline type of guy, so all this comes as a surprise to me--a practical disgrace.

Online, you're automatically assumed to be nothing: a white knight willing to do anything to get a woman's attention. You'll send out 150 messages and be lucky to get a few replies. It seems that they see us as beggars who are easy to acquire and easy to dispose.

Lastly, women online are mostly damaged goods; psychological issues, sense of entitlement, radical feminists...I don't understand how these businesses still exist. It's definitely a source of depression and self-blaming for men, as we start to wonder if there's something wrong with ourselves.

Disagree.

When I was younger I met quite a few girls online. Much nicer and more educated than girls I met in real life.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm curious to hear more about the exact method you guys use to get responses.

I used humour mixed with some facts about me. Then I would look at a girl's profile and make some sort of humorous comment about something she wrote or something in one of her pictures. I've got laid from online dating, but I find it's a lot more work, and requires more attention and time than going out and meeting women in person.

I usually got one date for every 30-50 messages I sent. That's not horrible, but transitioning women from online to a date is usually the largest obstacle. I was the most successful with women who had never previously gone on a date from the online dating site.

 

[Reykhel]

Just requires a slightly different skill set. For people that have taken the time to develop it it is exceptionally easy to meet and bang women online.

This is true. I used online dating twice a good while back to see what all the fuss was about.....twice in two different countries for about
3-4 months each time. It was easy and easily hit double figures with the both brief times with little or no effort....

That being said, I found it a drag even having to respond to mails or write back and forth (granted sometimes you still feel the thrill of the chase, but OLD is the woman's frame without a doubt...

I found myself bored of the whole ordeal after a couple of months........for two reasons...1. I much prefer face to face interactions......nothing like getting something from NOTHING......there's no better feeling. 2. There are hot chicks online but the proportion of wackjobs does seem to be a lot higher online........

You have to ask, in the age where it seems every women is getting hit on in real.....why do these bithes need the internet

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

My primary vehicle for the meeting of women is everyday life. I used to also go out to bars every now and then. Now that I've given up the bar scene, I will use Badoo from time to time as a supplement to my everyday activities.

As I write this, I am on a pleasant train ride to a nearby city for a date [with a Vietnamese woman]. As I was about to leave, I struck up another online conversation with a woman. She asked me why I was going to my destination, I told her I had a date, and now I have two dates planned in the same day [this one is Korean] for she lives in the same city.. ha ha. These are my first dates from online in ages, so it will be interesting to see how they go.