My gf has cheated me and I am in a need of serious help here.

mrgoodstuff

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Nothing. You get one chance, per lifetime, per chick. You need to forget about her. You made way too many mistakes with this one to recover. Forget her... stop thinking about her.

See comments above. You are about the get racked over the coals... You cheated on your wife in India, the laws in India are even worst than the USA when it comes to divorce. You are going to have to start all over again. Your soon to be ex-wife is going too own your ass. You need to be emotionally prepared for this and come up with a plan to get your life back in order.

You need to quit drinking and focus on your work. You are letting your emotions run your life. Live in the present and stop worrying about what you may have done in the past. That is wasted time, you can not change the past. First thing you have to understand is that these two chicks in your life are done with you... you can not fix this. All you can do is get YOUR life in order... think about yourself.
Co-signed the stop drinking. It combined with depressive thoughts from the divorce will drag you down further and deeper. It's about the worse thing you can do. It's time to take some control and put together a male action plan and implement it daily. Don't ask wife to come home, she has to ask you. Instead focus on getting better.
 

Julian

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@vivek59234

LOL can you stop listening to basically everyone whos been posting pages of BS advice about these relationships. Lets talk about whats the most important here:
YOUR MUTHER FUKKING COMPANY. YOUR MILLION DOLLAR SOFTWARE CORPORATION ! YOU LOST MILLIONS AND YOUR WORRIED ABOUT THESE 2 CHICKS WHO ARE EASILY REPLACED.

DUDE build your fkin company back up and stop being such a beta. these b1tches will come crawling back like flys to sh1t once you are stacking millions again, and even better they will want to be your employee + gf/wife. WIN WIN BRO
 

Tenacity

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@vivek59234

LOL can you stop listening to basically everyone whos been posting pages of BS advice about these relationships. Lets talk about whats the most important here:
YOUR MUTHER FUKKING COMPANY. YOUR MILLION DOLLAR SOFTWARE CORPORATION ! YOU LOST MILLIONS AND YOUR WORRIED ABOUT THESE 2 CHICKS WHO ARE EASILY REPLACED.

DUDE build your fkin company back up and stop being such a beta. these b1tches will come crawling back like flys to sh1t once you are stacking millions again, and even better they will want to be your employee + gf/wife. WIN WIN BRO
Actually, one of the additional problems he has is mixing business with pleasure. There's no way his wife should have been helping build the company, while he also carries on an on-going relationship with an employee of the company.

My recommendation for him is to hire an attorney, try to lessen the HIT as much as possible, then focus on rebuilding the business with NEVER dating anybody he works with (or who works for him as that can easily become a sexual harassment case) and also don't get married again, spin plates until you die.
 

vivek59234

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Hello all the DJ’s,

Thank you for your suggestions and they are reallg helpful.

I know it’s my fault and I cant bring my past back.

I have decided to move on and rebuild my company. I have quit drinking from past 6 days and I am not going to touch it at least for 1 year.

My wife is a nice person and she wants nothing from me for divorce because she still has some feelings inside for me. She told me that you are also in a bad condition therefore we will mutually fall apart.

I will learn from my mistakes and I will never ever cheat again. I will have to work hard on business and myself.

And again I accept my apologies to everyone here that I have done many mistakes in life.
 

Glassguy

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Hello all the DJ’s,

Thank you for your suggestions and they are reallg helpful.

I know it’s my fault and I cant bring my past back.

I have decided to move on and rebuild my company. I have quit drinking from past 6 days and I am not going to touch it at least for 1 year.

My wife is a nice person and she wants nothing from me for divorce because she still has some feelings inside for me. She told me that you are also in a bad condition therefore we will mutually fall apart.

I will learn from my mistakes and I will never ever cheat again. I will have to work hard on business and myself.

And again I accept my apologies to everyone here that I have done many mistakes in life.
There is actually a much easier guideline to follow from now on........

Dont get fvcking married and dont knock up a chick.

You will then protect your investments and assets and you can fvck anyone you wish.

Problem solved.
 

Tenacity

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Hello all the DJ’s,

Thank you for your suggestions and they are reallg helpful.

I know it’s my fault and I cant bring my past back.

I have decided to move on and rebuild my company. I have quit drinking from past 6 days and I am not going to touch it at least for 1 year.

My wife is a nice person and she wants nothing from me for divorce because she still has some feelings inside for me. She told me that you are also in a bad condition therefore we will mutually fall apart.

I will learn from my mistakes and I will never ever cheat again. I will have to work hard on business and myself.

And again I accept my apologies to everyone here that I have done many mistakes in life.
Dude if she is willing to do the divorce but NOT clean you out......consider that a hugeeeeeee blessing.

So again, going forward:

- Still get an attorney and try to get the divorce over as soon as possible, while the ex-wife is willing to work with you and not take you to the cleaners.

- Focus on building the business

- Do not date anybody you do business with again

- Do not get married again, just do committed relationships (LTRs) as you will get all of the same benefits of a marriage anyway from a relationship standpoint, without ANY of the risks. If after let's say 3 or 5 years she starts pushing for marriage, decline it. If she leaves, replace her with another LTR.
 

Asasione

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Dude if she is willing to do the divorce but NOT clean you out......consider that a hugeeeeeee blessing.

So again, going forward:

- Still get an attorney and try to get the divorce over as soon as possible, while the ex-wife is willing to work with you and not take you to the cleaners.

- Focus on building the business

- Do not date anybody you do business with again

- Do not get married again, just do committed relationships (LTRs) as you will get all of the same benefits of a marriage anyway from a relationship standpoint, without ANY of the risks. If after let's say 3 or 5 years she starts pushing for marriage, decline it. If she leaves, replace her with another LTR.
He will probably get married again in the future I can almost guarantee it. His wife is an anomaly but quality women do exist, they just end up married to guys like him that take them for granted lol. Funny world we live in.

If you had a woman like his I bet you'd drop her like a bad habit for some slight grievance.
 

mrgoodstuff

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He will probably get married again in the future I can almost guarantee it. His wife is an anomaly but quality women do exist, they just end up married to guys like him that take them for granted lol. Funny world we live in.

If you had a woman like his I bet you'd drop her like a bad habit for some slight grievance.
Did he say he was Indian? Their women tend to be loyal.
 

Tenacity

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He will probably get married again in the future I can almost guarantee it. His wife is an anomaly but quality women do exist, they just end up married to guys like him that take them for granted lol. Funny world we live in.

If you had a woman like his I bet you'd drop her like a bad habit for some slight grievance.
My position isn't that quality women don't exist, my stances (in that regard) have always been the following:

- There's no universal definition of "quality", as Tenacity's quality might not be your quality, and Tenacity's "unicorn" might not be your "unicorn". Thus, when Tenacity says there's no quality women, he could in fact be pinpointing difficulty finding a particular TYPE of woman, that you might not even be interested in finding.

- Even if a man finds the type of woman he wants, I still believe the Marriage Contract in the United States is completely inefficient for a man to enter into, in at least 95% of situations/cases. I broke that down on this post here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...t-married-and-why.244137/page-24#post-2483100

So I'm in agreement with @deesade, I really don't see what's the fuss over a Unicorn or a Quality woman on this board. At the end of the day, ALL a woman can offer you is sex and companionship anyway, unless....you fit into one of those categories I outlined once again on this post http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...t-married-and-why.244137/page-24#post-2483100
 

guru1000

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The quality debate seems to never end.

Funny thing about it, "quality" is subjective, so we are discussing apples vs walnuts in most of these discussions.

Let's just say that "quality" to me is a woman who places her higher ideals above her lower (i.e., biological) ones, old-school indoctrination, familial oriented, no divorce in her immediate family, with a limited amount of sexual partners. Within this scope, "quality" exists, with plenty contenders in certain cultures.

However, quality is not enough. We also have our personal criterion. Even with an extensive personal criterion (in addition to quality), there are women that do exist.

This quality debate is silly really, usually comprising participants with myopic perspectives.
 

Red Legg

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The quality debate seems to never end.

Funny thing about it, "quality" is subjective, so we are discussing apples vs walnuts in most of these discussions.

Let's just say that "quality" to me is a woman who places her higher ideals above her lower (i.e., biological) ones, old-school indoctrination, familial oriented, no divorce in her immediate family, with a limited amount of sexual partners. Within this scope, "quality" exists, with plenty contenders in certain cultures.

However, quality is not enough. We also have our personal criterion. Even with an extensive personal criterion (in addition to quality), there are women that do exist.

This quality debate is silly really, usually comprising participants with myopic perspectives.
You know what real quality is to me? It's nothing more than me benefiting from being with her.Like today she invites me to Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings,I tell her that this is the real test to see what a good cook she is.....she tells me she is making a pumpkin pie (even though I don't eat carbs she knows this) I tell her she is a very naughty girl,she says what are you going to do about it ? the frame push never ends.
 

guru1000

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You know what real quality is to me? It's nothing more than me benefiting from being with her.Like today she invites me to Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings,I tell her that this is the real test to see what a good cook she is.....she tells me she is making a pumpkin pie (even though I don't eat carbs she knows this) I tell her she is a very naughty girl,she says what are you going to do about it ? the frame push never ends.
I always enjoy this playful banter. I would respond with "I will spank your ass repeatedly until you beg for mercy. Wait till I see you!"

I play within the dominant/submissive banter, with her trying to spark "defiance" to get reprimanded. Works well.
 

vivek59234

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Alright DJ’s,

I was going through all the previous whats app conversations between me and my ex gf. It seems like she was really into me but in 2 months I scrwed it up. Which was from Aug 23rd to Oct 20. I used to drink a lot (day and night). Well she didnt like me drinking previously though and had warned me as well. But during 2 months it was the worst. After drinking I used to doubt on her, I used to misbehave, I used to force her for sex even though she was not ready, I used to act like a jerk. I did not focus on work. I was being extremelly desperate, clingy and needy. She was daily pissed off because of all my bad habits ans behaviours. Then she got tired of me and finally she had left me.

With my wife I used to do same things. I was drinking and roaming around my friends and did not give her time. I used to fight ugly with her at late nights when I was drunk. When I was with her even before marriage i used to fight with her after drinking.

I was completely off the track and I used to spent time with stupid friends who had no goals which led me to this situation.

Therefore, I dont blame my ex or my wife. I take entire blame on me because of my alcoholic habits.

I have quit alcohol completely from past 4 days and I have started realizing my mistakes, therefore it’s me who will have to be changed before I blame anyone in this world.

Obviously noone would like to stay with an alcoholic moron.

I am relaxed now and I will work on my mistakes.
 

Asasione

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My position isn't that quality women don't exist, my stances (in that regard) have always been the following:

- There's no universal definition of "quality", as Tenacity's quality might not be your quality, and Tenacity's "unicorn" might not be your "unicorn". Thus, when Tenacity says there's no quality women, he could in fact be pinpointing difficulty finding a particular TYPE of woman, that you might not even be interested in finding.

- Even if a man finds the type of woman he wants, I still believe the Marriage Contract in the United States is completely inefficient for a man to enter into, in at least 95% of situations/cases. I broke that down on this post here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...t-married-and-why.244137/page-24#post-2483100

So I'm in agreement with @deesade, I really don't see what's the fuss over a Unicorn or a Quality woman on this board. At the end of the day, ALL a woman can offer you is sex and companionship anyway, unless....you fit into one of those categories I outlined once again on this post http://www.sosuave.net/forum/thread...t-married-and-why.244137/page-24#post-2483100
The point I was trying to illustrate is that there are women who aren't interested in cleaning you out in court even in the event that you are to divorce. It's a character they have probably due to upbringing, sadly American women aren't like this so no luck there (by the various accounts I've read online). It does show that cultural differences play a big part in these types of character traits, the likelihood of an African American woman behaving like this Indian lady, the types of women you predominantly go after, is almost nil.

I already know your stances very well Tenacity, I'm not trying to change your opinion. Just found it interesting this guy married a virgin that did everything for him, cheated on her and she still cares enough not to take his assets. Indian women are known to be loyal though so it's not particularly uncommon.
 

Asasione

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Seriously, i'm befuddled at how the "quality woman" argunement is beneficial.

As a man that has literally had a harem before, I'm saying that that this "quality woman stuff" us sh!t. I hear it bandied enough though.

Tell me how it benefits me in real te4ms. Tell me the differences in having the options.

I'm seriously telling you that i've had what anyone calls a "quality woman". Never found any worth in that frame at all.

Someone fvcking help? @Asasione is an intelligent poster?

Yet I figured that out 10 years back, without the internet?

What the fvck is going on? It's not in-set. That's for sure.
You're seriously delusional if you think your world views are shared by everyone else or worse yet that our experiences and conclusions will align. That is stupidity. You had a harem and have gone out picking up women and discovered this 10 years ago through your experiences and knowledge. Good for you, how is that relevant to anyone else? You expect other people to not chase what they determine by their own criteria are quality women because you were hanging with a handful of women and conjured up a theory!

I seriously find it hard to believe you even remotely used your head while responding to me.
 

marmel75

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Yes here it depends on which part of country you are. My wife was very loyal to me and I cheated on her but the same way around my gf cheated on me. Girls are very confused in India.
So you cheated on you wife and your girlfriend cheated on you...deal with it and move on. Either stop cheating or find someone else to do it with. Problem solved.
 

vivek59234

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Hello DJ’s,

I accept that it was my fault but we all are humans and we make mistakes. Basically my ex has moved on and she called me yest to delete all the pics. She is getting married with her ex and she told me that u were a nice person bur I had feelings for him.

I asked her “ why did u come be with me when you has feelings for him? Why had u wasted my 2.5 years? You could have stayed with him inly. Even he is engaged and why would u want to spoil so many familie’s lives? Why were u committed to me? And why did u force me to take divorce from my wife?

She did not have proper answers and she told me that it was her fault to call me. I told never call me again and enjoy ur life with him.

My problem here is i have lost my wife my gf and my business. I am broken up. On top of that i have started drinking a lot.

Could you guys pls suggest me on how to stop drinking and focus on work? Its a bit difficult for me these days.

I would really appreciate youe help
 
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