So a few weeks ago I sent my girl a bitmoji (like an animated emoji) saying I missed her. About two hours had passed and she hadn't responded back so I sent her another text asking if she got my message. Now I know she went back home (lives in a different state) to celebrate her parent's 30th wedding anniversary (I couldn't make it) that day. While on the phone I asked her if she got the bitmoji and she said yea she sent one back and that I must not have gotten it. I knew she was lying so I probed her again.
Anyways I saw her the next week and I said I knew she was lying (I went through her phone but didn't tell her that part). She confessed and told me she did lie about it and she was sorry. She said she lied because she was busy with her family and when I contacted her again she thought I was getting upset. How I always get so upset about everything and she doesn't know what's going to 'set me off' so she wanted to keep the peace. She mentioned how just a few weeks ago I got really mad at her when I was out with her and her friends and one of the friends who is in a relationship started dancing with another guy. I'll admit I did get really upset with her about that.
So this past week I brought up something she claimed she was joking about from six months ago. I was saying something about me the best white guy she's ever slept with (she's Asian) and she said, "ehh you're not great you're just good" then she stuck out her tongue at me and said, "you're not the only white guy the other was good too". She claimed she was joking but I felt like she was trying to hurt me on purpose. Now fast forward months later when I bring it up and she said she doesn't remember saying the other guy was good because he really wasn't. I'm just thinking to myself she's a liar and I tell her I don't believe her. She said you're bringing up something from 6 months ago I highly doubt either one of us remembers what was said word-for-word.
My thing is when I do bring up stuff this happens way too often where we get into you said this, no I didn't, yes you did, etc. I can give her the benefit of the doubt some of the time but this happens way too often. She said how I like to start arguments out of the blue weeks and sometimes months later so unless I have a perfect memory it's unfair to think that she'd have what she said exactly correct. She said I act like she says something completely opposite of what she said previously and of course when you recount an argument or what someone said you're going to deviate just a little, again, unless you have a perfect memory.
I wasn't buying what she was selling so I broke up with her and told her that I've never had a gut feeling like this with another woman before and how lying is worse than cheating to me. I also told her I was more accepting of my last ex who cheated on me a few times because she at least told me the truth eventually. She said I needed counseling because I'm 'damaged' and irrational. My previous two girlfriends cheated on me and she says I don't see it but I am and my gut feeling is wrong and how it doesn't make sense that my gut didn't go off with other ones when they were cheating and she's doing nothing wrong but she's the bad guy. Also, I'm irrational/illogical to think to that lying is worse than cheating when cheating is in fact lying, but I don't see what she's talking about.
I love her very much and haven't loved anyone as much as her but I just feel like I can never trust her again and it would be naive of me to believe she hasn't lied about other things.
Anyways I saw her the next week and I said I knew she was lying (I went through her phone but didn't tell her that part). She confessed and told me she did lie about it and she was sorry. She said she lied because she was busy with her family and when I contacted her again she thought I was getting upset. How I always get so upset about everything and she doesn't know what's going to 'set me off' so she wanted to keep the peace. She mentioned how just a few weeks ago I got really mad at her when I was out with her and her friends and one of the friends who is in a relationship started dancing with another guy. I'll admit I did get really upset with her about that.
So this past week I brought up something she claimed she was joking about from six months ago. I was saying something about me the best white guy she's ever slept with (she's Asian) and she said, "ehh you're not great you're just good" then she stuck out her tongue at me and said, "you're not the only white guy the other was good too". She claimed she was joking but I felt like she was trying to hurt me on purpose. Now fast forward months later when I bring it up and she said she doesn't remember saying the other guy was good because he really wasn't. I'm just thinking to myself she's a liar and I tell her I don't believe her. She said you're bringing up something from 6 months ago I highly doubt either one of us remembers what was said word-for-word.
My thing is when I do bring up stuff this happens way too often where we get into you said this, no I didn't, yes you did, etc. I can give her the benefit of the doubt some of the time but this happens way too often. She said how I like to start arguments out of the blue weeks and sometimes months later so unless I have a perfect memory it's unfair to think that she'd have what she said exactly correct. She said I act like she says something completely opposite of what she said previously and of course when you recount an argument or what someone said you're going to deviate just a little, again, unless you have a perfect memory.
I wasn't buying what she was selling so I broke up with her and told her that I've never had a gut feeling like this with another woman before and how lying is worse than cheating to me. I also told her I was more accepting of my last ex who cheated on me a few times because she at least told me the truth eventually. She said I needed counseling because I'm 'damaged' and irrational. My previous two girlfriends cheated on me and she says I don't see it but I am and my gut feeling is wrong and how it doesn't make sense that my gut didn't go off with other ones when they were cheating and she's doing nothing wrong but she's the bad guy. Also, I'm irrational/illogical to think to that lying is worse than cheating when cheating is in fact lying, but I don't see what she's talking about.
I love her very much and haven't loved anyone as much as her but I just feel like I can never trust her again and it would be naive of me to believe she hasn't lied about other things.
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