I made a very similar post to this 3 months ago whilst the relationship was still ongoing, I should've taken this forums advice but I wanted to make this an update.
MY BORDERLINE STORY:
There's no real way to keep this short but I shall try, I am a 22 year old professional poker player who lives at home currently. I am a loner, when people say they have no friends they're often joking, I am not. However Late last year the most beautiful girl I'd ever met added me on FB (My borderline) We spoke casually but nothing ever happened until one friday night in March I went into a bar with my parents and saw her working there, we hit it off right away.
It later turned out she was in a relationship with someone i used to know but that doesnt matter so much as they broke up. The next month I passed my driving test, bought a car and asked if I could pick her up from work. I'm pretty nervous around girls so I didnt know what to expect but I could tell she was keen right away as she performed oral in a car park almost right away, great I thought! Anyway she seems to vanish, tells me to give her some space after I leave flowers, perfume, and tea outside her door (Her favourite things which I knew she'd like) She later got back in contact, explained she had BPD told me to google it a bit and decide if i still wanted to know her, of course I did!
After this we become very close friends and chatted on the phone almost every day, for hours. I went away with my father and upon my return we promptly slept together, it was amazing, like nothing id experienced with anyone else before. We even made a videotogether which I regret and will mention later. The next day I take her to get the morning after pill and we go to the gym together. I notice she gets a text saying "Hey you still coming over friday" I casually ask her about it as I figure I cant get too mad seeing as she is just still my friend kinda. She explains it's just a friend from work who she agreed to have a drink with. It turns out to be a male friend from work who she spent the night with, swore on her life nothing happened with, and then later admitted to sleeping with, great.
Things still carried on between us for a couple of months, the sex and general affection dried up a bit but we were cool. I would take her to work whenever she needed a lift in, and pick her up whenever she asked which would usually be around midnight but I didnt mind. I was just grateful to see her even if it was just for 20 minutes in the car. One day I'm particularly not proud of is we were out shopping and she saw an expensive lipstick she wanted, she convinced me to buy it for her promising to do whatever I wanted later if I got her that and some office supply stuff she needed, a little weird and not my style but I was so desperate for her I agreed. Later that evening we were driving back to my place from dinner and just as we're arriving in my town she says "I've changed my mind, take me home'
I of course get very annoyed having wasted my whole day but I do agree, she senses my anger and start to go nuts, when we arrive at her place she tells me she could easily ruin my life etc. I drive off home and text her saying "I could ruin your life far easier" Referring to all the personal details I know about her and of course the erotic video we made together, disgraceful I know but i was just so angry and she'd pushed me for weeks.
Anyway she calls me crying begging to come and pick her up so we can chat, we end up going back to mine sleeping together and things seem fine. The next day I go to a friends for a few days and she contacts me saying she needs the video deleted. I agree we meet up she goes through my phone deletes it + our text convo and things are peaceful for a while. She regularly seems to see other people though and it hurts non stop. Fast forward a month and a few small dramas and things seem to of fizzled so i ask her for my things back, just a few personal items she's kept of mine and she agrees. However she puts it off for days almost mockingly so I sent a threatening message saying "Look I didnt delete anything, please give me my things back and we wont have a problem" I know this is awful but I was just so done and angry. The next day we meet outside her place, she has my things in a black bag, she explains she's going to the police etc and to take my things back, I apologise for what I've said and leave it at that, we have maybe one more phone call but that's it.
She does not block my number though or any form social media so I still kept track of her, I missed her terribly and didn't know what to do. Then it hit me, i remembered she had a BPD friend who lived fairly locally who she often spoke about and sort of seemed to be in competition with. Anyway I contact the friend via instagram, we chat speak on the phone etc and seem to get on really well so we agree to meet for a drink. When we do the girl tells me she is going away to university in a week, but we still take a picture together which we uploads to Insta/FB. A day later I hear from my borderline, she calls me sick, warns her friend to stay away from me etc but it got us talking. For some reason she was now very responsive to me after not speaking for weeks. The other Borderline who I just met the once has now gone to university roughly 5 hours away but we still speak daily.
Anyway I suggest to my original borderline that we go for dinner together as friends, to chat about things and she agrees in a gleeful way. anyway we end up consuming a bottle of wine each, and we're in the car crying together and we end up going back to my place. we just hang out in the garden smoking weed and this is all slightly blurry to me but we ended up having sex, she was super into it until the last idk 5 seconds? where she tried to get up just as I was climaxing and I told her to relax etc. My bad but i was stoned/drunk/very emotional. As we drive home I notice she's texting some dude with tons of kisses/emojis, sad considering i was inside her 3 minutes prior anyway. The next day I take her to get the pill, and she's cool however she does not reply to my texts. My parents figured out we were cool and were happy they could return to their favourite bar so I joined them, my borderline was very rude and cold that night so the next day i rang her to question it. She tells me i took advantage of her, tricked her etc which isnt true but she said we were cool and could chat more later.
I send her a couple of long messages saying she's intimidating and wrong about what she said but I love her and know the real her etc. In the meantime I had been complaining to the other BPD about her as I felt she wad the only one i could talk to who'd understand so maybe she said something to her but the next day I WAS BLOCKED ON EVERYTHING. Phone,insta,fb,snapchat. I tried messaging her from my other fb but she blocked that too, ringing from another phone but she just hung up. WHAT CAN I DO? It's been a full 2 weeks now and id pay anything just to talk to her for 5 minutes. I love her madly, and miss her more than anything. Why would she block me ? I need answers. She's been the only person I speak to/my only focus for about 5-6 months. I know she wasnt my girlfriend and I know i did bad things, I have also been spending the last week at my father's and my mother called me a few days ago to say the police have been round and wanted to speak with me. She gave them my number however I habe not heard from them and it's been almost a week. I know this must be from her as I've barely left the house all month nevermind broken the law. This upsets me so much as it means our chances of speaking again are even lower. I'm tempted now she has had 2 weeks to cool off to maybe go to her house with flowers ? or something along those lines ? I cant take not speaking to her, I just want to hear from her why she's done this now, why not a month ago? why not when she saw the pic of me with the other borderline? Why go out with me, sleep with me, then a few days block me / report me for something that has not been an issue. I'm so confused
