stovepipe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2017
- Messages
- 978
- Reaction score
- 1,089
That is indeed the hardest pill to swallow. They manipulate you into the most amazing bond you ever thought was possible, then leave you like they never met you. Your left in the twilight zone trying to make sense of wtf happened, with almost zero closure. Then cutting you off as punishment for their own actions. You start to hate yourself, blame yourself, you cant eat, you cant sleep, nightmares, nothing makes you happy anymore, you cant even smile, some cant even get a boner for weeks or months, your brain is programmed to only want them back, to only find them attractive, to wanting to go back even tho you were treated like dog chit, ect!!!!I guess this is the hardest to hear of all, as even though I only knew mine for 6 months it felt so important, more so than anything I've ever experienced and since she blocked me almost 3 weeks ago now I've thought about her non stop almost daily, and well I guess she's barely thought of me. I don't expect her back in my life it just sucks after everything that I can't even say hi occasionally. The last time we went out together we laughed and towards the end of the night she cried non stop but in a good way, weird how a couple of days after that she was able to just cut me out.
I was like you in the beginning, wanting to say hi. But after educating myself, I had to smack myself across the face and say "wtf do I want to talk to someone who treated me like that"? It's trauma bonding at its finest. Now I could care less ever talking to her again. She was the biggest liar I ever met in my life, tricked me into pregnancy twice, broke my heart in a million pieces, and left me with a life long STI.
Now I spend my days helping people all over the world recover or make sense of whats going on from Cluster B relationships. Some days I feel like a loser for what my life has become, some days I feel like Im gong to have a heart attack from all the pain, but i can at least die knowing I helped a few good guys from committing suicide.