I'm going to date a bpd chick

[Leisuresuitlegend]

WHY are you on this site?

This site is for those seeking out something.

What is missing within YOU that brought you here?

Because I can be. Nothing is missing. Just here to shoot the shyt. Not here to whine about chasing after damaged chicks and then finger point as if the chick is the man in a relationship.

 

[exhausted]

Because I can be. Nothing is missing. Just here to shoot the shyt. Not here to whine about chasing after damaged chicks and then finger point as if the chick is the man in a relationship.

Bs brother.

If nothing was missing it would not even don on you to visit such a site.

Come on now.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

Bs brother.

If nothing was missing it would not even don on you to visit such a site.

Come on now.

You got me. I'm a foreveralone...

 

[exhausted]

You got me. I'm a foreveralone...

Your sarcasm to distract snd redirect doesn't fool me.

Seriously a Friday evening and you are on this site.

Something is seriously missing within you friend.

No hate, I'm compromised as well but i can admit it.

It took me to be 36 years old and bury my dad to start looking within to what is not clicking to put up with and love such a terrible woman years in.

 

[guru1000]

It took me to be 36 years old and bury my dad to start looking within to what is not clicking to put up with and love such a terrible woman years in.

Challenges are brought to your life with specific purpose, especially to those who think they know it all but really know little. Best way to live is to understand you know little, be fluid and open to the lessons life has been instructed to teach you. As those who are married and intransigent to a faulty belief system, will get cracked with circumstances they could never fathom possible until they willingly beg to change.

Don't regret the past. Embrace it. You "needed" it to evolve into who you are right now.

 

[skinnyguy]

Challenges are brought to your life with specific purpose, especially to those who think they know it all but really know little. Best way to live is to understand you know little, be fluid and open to the lessons life has been instructed to teach you. As those who are married and intransigent to a faulty belief system, will get cracked with circumstances they could never fathom possible until they willingly beg to change.

Don't regret the past. Embrace it. You "needed" it to evolve into who you are right now.

Truth. You're indeed a guru

 

[exhausted]

Challenges are brought to your life with specific purpose, especially to those who think they know it all but really know little. Best way to live is to understand you know little, be fluid and open to the lessons life has been instructed to teach you. As those who are married and intransigent to a faulty belief system, will get cracked with circumstances they could never fathom possible until they willingly beg to change.

Don't regret the past. Embrace it. You "needed" it to evolve into who you are right now.

When i was 29 , 10 years ago i came to my dad and said just tell me what to do and how as nothing i try works out. At that point i had a college degree, bought a home on my own but couldn't find a decent woman.
I listened and let go of the hope of finding a soul mate. Played the field for 7 years and enjoyed it. Then my dad passed and 6 months later i meet this girl. My senses were not operating properly due to the loss and trauma of finding my dad passed, and i ignored red flags and put up with a lot because of it.

Now i am paying for it, 3.5 years with a bpd.

 

[guru1000]

When i was 29 , 10 years ago i came to my dad and said just tell me what to do and how as nothing i try works out. At that point i had a college degree, bought a home on my own but couldn't find a decent woman.
I listened and let go of the hope of finding a soul mate. Played the field for 7 years and enjoyed it. Then my dad passed and 6 months later i meet this girl. My senses were not operating properly due to the loss and trauma of finding my dad passed, and i ignored red flags and put up with a lot because of it.

Now i am paying for it, 3.5 years with a bpd.

Only a failing, if you extracted nothing out of it--when, indeed, there were important lessons for your taking. Then it becomes a bonafide success. What did you learn?

What was the lack within yourself that disallowed a good contender into your life?

What was the lack within yourself--outside of your father's passing which simply exacerbated the lack--that permitted you to embrace toxic people into your life?

Now that you have become conscious of your lack, how are you going to redress it?

 

[exhausted]

Only a failing, if you extracted nothing out of it--when, indeed, there were important lessons for your taking. Then it becomes a bonafide success. What did you learn?

What was the lack within yourself that disallowed a good contender into your life?

What was the lack within yourself--outside of your father's passing which simply exacerbated the lack--that permitted you to embrace toxic people into your life?

Now that you have become conscious of your lack, how are you going to redress it?

I learned a persons past displays their true character.

The lack within myself- i raised my son entirely by myself, his mom left when he was 8 months old, this girl was a single mother well with 50-50 custody, but she had been thro a rough patch, i felt i have a lot to give, i love kids anyways and i would have given anything to have had found a good person for my son and myself when he was little so i tried to be what would have fulfilled me and i know it was what she needed, but it became less of a partnership, and more of her taking and taking and giving nothing but raging and abusing me.. she was emotionally unstable beyond belief...

Go read some of my posts... i should tell her parents.

I did not bail when i needed to

I always appreciate my blessings, i.told my ex thro the entire relationship's that we need to treat this special to keep it special. We need to treat one another as the most important to remain important with each other.... i did this she did not..

I will be very appreciative if i can find an honorable girl.

 

[guru1000]

I learned a persons past displays their true character.

The lack within myself- i raised my son entirely by myself, his mom left when he was 8 months old, this girl was a single mother well with 50-50 custody, but she had been thro a rough patch, i felt i have a lot to give, i love kids anyways and i would have given anything to have had found a good person for my son and myself when he was little so i tried to be what would have fulfilled me and i know it was what she needed, but it became less of a partnership, and more of her taking and taking and giving nothing but raging and abusing me.. she was emotionally unstable beyond belief...

Go read some of my posts... i should tell her parents.

I did not bail when i needed to

Ok, the lack is not evident to you yet, but we are getting somewhere. With the limited info here, I see that your son's mother was abusive and the BPD ex was abusive. The common themes here are (1) abuse towards you; and (2) your susceptibility toward abusive partners. Why do you think these are the common themes prevalent in your life?

 

[exhausted]

Ok, the lack is not evident to you yet, but we are getting somewhere. With the limited info here, I see that your son's mother was abusive and the BPD ex was abusive. The common themes here are (1) abuse towards you; and (2) you. Why do you think these are the common themes prevalent in your life?

My oldest sister is bipolar. Growing up lots of rages and chaos.. today even tho she has difficulty with stress and depression and such she has a wonderful and loving heart, she cant help she has a disorder and i know now i related that to this girl.. i felt for her that she suffered, i tried to help her with love and guidance but for nothing .no change.. no effort to be better.

No I'm not a *****, but I'm a leader and am good at taking care of things getting things done, this girl bpd had to be the boss and is soooo controlling it is shocking.

 

[guru1000]

i tried to help her with love and guidance but for nothing

Just like you tried to help your two ex's who abused you. You dealt with the abuse under the guise that you are just trying to help them, so the abuse is incidental ... simply part of the process, right? Seems like you are willing to help just anyone in need--regardless of how steep the self-inflicted cost. This is an admirable trait. But in this noble venture, you forgot to help the most important person ... YOU.

It could be argued that perhaps you had the intention to help, but when the abuse began, you stuck around because of a deeper lack that was being fulfilled with the abusive partners and rationalized your staying as "helping them." You could be masking a real deficit, which is so deeply intertwined with your psyche, that it is entirely unconscious to you. So much so, that you exact an alternate reality of nobility--painted as entirely virtuous.

You need to get real with yourself and set aside the "help" guise for a moment, and ask yourself what was the true motive of your sticking around? What lack did these ex's fulfill in you that prompted your willingness to accept their abuse.

 

[bigneil]

The term "BPD chick" can be simplified to "Chick".

DISCLAIMER: You must stop being a whiny little douche for this to take effect.

 

[bigneil]

My oldest sister is bipolar.

This means she didn't eat right.

Think about it: our genetics are a composite of our ancestors, and the soil they grew up on. We can improve our own DNA by eating right. She may have inherited an off balance body, but you can balance her with Spirulina (contains every nutrient, and extra iron) or Chlorella (for men). But quality (Natural News Store is best IMO).

How do you think I keep stripers around so long? Nourish them.

 

[exhausted]

Just like you tried to help your two ex's who abused you. You dealt with the abuse under the guise that you are just trying to help them, so the abuse is incidental ... simply part of the process, right? Seems like you are willing to help just anyone in need--regardless of how steep the self-inflicted cost. This is an admirable trait. But in this noble venture, you forgot to help the most important person ... YOU.

It could be argued that perhaps you had the intention to help, but when the abuse began, you stuck around because of a deeper lack that was being fulfilled with the abusive partners and rationalized your staying as "helping them." You could be masking a real deficit, which is so deeply intertwined with your psyche, that it is entirely unconscious to you. So much so, that you exact an alternate reality of nobility--painted as entirely virtuous.

You need to get real with yourself and set aside the "help" guise for a moment, and ask yourself what was the true motive of your sticking around? What lack did these ex's fulfill in you that prompted your willingness to accept their abuse.

Good points.. understand..
b4 this girl i dated two women both with kids and they were wonderful , loving kind, cooked ha... but i let them go, one after over a year and the next about 7 months. No problem just let them.go.... and i didnt hurt one min.
then this girl came along and although had deficits i overlooked them. She was going thr a rough time and i had been there, we also had quite a connection, i have never felt connected or closer to anyone b4.. not sure why.. maybe over time her entire self was portrayed to me even the worst of it.

Either way you are right something was off in me not to be able to let go of this one like i had a dozen others that were good women whom I'm still friends woth today.

 

[guru1000]

Good points.. understand..
b4 this girl i dated two women both with kids and they were wonderful , loving kind, cooked ha... but i let them go, one after over a year and the next about 7 months. No problem just let them.go.... and i didnt hurt one min.
then this girl came along and although had deficits i overlooked them. She was going thr a rough time and i had been there, we also had quite a connection, i have never felt connected or closer to anyone b4.. not sure why.. maybe over time her entire self was portrayed to me even the worst of it.

Either way you are right something was off in me not to be able to let go of this one like i had a dozen others that were good women whom I'm still friends woth today.

In a world replete with most people screwing each other, the lesson could not be "stop helping others." This would be illogical.

I'm a strong advocate of helping and personally help others for two reasons: (1) I gain satisfaction; (2) I have been aware of a connection between my helping others and the universe helping me. I am thankful for what the universe has provided to me (although I worked my ass off), and I feel I have a debt to be repaid.

Notwithstanding, I never have been with a BPD girl as some here would "coin," but I have dated manipulative women. My former gf whom I dated for 1.5 years was a physical 10 in my eyes, but the day she wronged me, I dumped her on the spot. Sure, I get nostalgia, but I look to the deeper reason ... the WHY? You see, I'm no angel too, and I did pay a part though my wrong was not nearly as significant as hers (at least as I perceive it). So I analyze deeper, why was this ex's connect with me so deep? Well, let's see. She was a 10 (in my eyes), which validated my value--and thus "completed" me. So without her, I no longer feel as validated, and thus not as complete.

What do I need to do to redress this feeling of not-as-completeness (outside of relying on another 10 to do this)? <==This is the lesson

 

[exhausted]

In a world replete with most people screwing each other, the lesson could not be "stop helping others." This would be illogical.

I'm a strong advocate of helping and personally help others for two reasons: (1) I gain satisfaction; (2) I have been aware of a connection between my helping others and the universe helping me. I am thankful for what the universe has provided to me (although I worked my ass off), and I feel I have a debt to be repaid.

Notwithstanding, I never have been with a BPD girl as some here would "coin," but I have dated manipulative women. My former gf whom I dated for 1.5 years was a physical 10 in my eyes, but the day she wronged me, I dumped her on the spot. Sure, I get nostalgia, but I look to the deeper reason ... the WHY? You see, I'm no angel too, and I did pay a part though my wrong was not nearly as significant as hers (at least as I perceive it). So I analyze deeper, why was this ex's connect with me so deep? Well, let's see. She was a 10 (in my eyes), which validated my value--and thus "completed" me. So without her, I no longer feel as validated, and thus not as complete.

What do I need to do to redress this feeling of not-as-completeness (outside of relying on another 10 to do this)? <==This is the lesson

I got married in 2006 to a 9.5.. about a year in she decided she didn't want to be married anymore, even tho she pushed for marriage for a year and to be a family... she stopped being around and being a family . I tried with her for 3 months and no change so i packed up her chit and kicked her out.. i went to a psychologist thinking what did i do wrong and they diagnosed her with bpd..

I stayed single a long time dating girls except those 2 relas, then this girl for 3.5 years.. i recycled women for 7 years with no worries then got with this chick, worse girl ever and just kept trying and trying..
even my sister said i didnt spend half the effort on my wife. I feel she betrayed me and my son so it was easy to rid of her.

I just let this girl keep hoovering me back, i.do love her, maybe its because I'm burdeoned by my dad.

I agree with you about appreciation and putting out in the universe to give back.. i received little back from this girl never appreciated for all i did and gave..

I know i am not a pity party helper but instead it's easy for my to help by getting things done and bringing positivity....

This girl was negative and chaos and depressed in bed and i was fun and happy and pulling her out of bed to enjoy a blessed day..

I wasted all that on someone unappreciative beyond belief, and unintelligent..

This girl another bpd but a narc and very very mean and cruel with raging my exwofe disnt have besides like 2x in 3 years.. with this ex she had prob 15 rages in 3 years and 30 flip outs and the discarding and hoovering..

I cant pick a girl for ****.. i dismissed all the good ones..

 

[guru1000]

I just let this girl keep hoovering me back, i.do love her, maybe its because I'm burdeoned by my dad.

You mentioned your father twice. You also mention connecting with this girl at a time when you lost your father. I also notice you call your father, "dad," a verbal anchor which demonstrates a strong emotional imprint. So you likely feel a "hole" from your dad's loss, and here come the BPD to the rescue to fill this hole. And you the "savior" could not deny help to another who needs it, especially to one who is servicing your "hole" unconsciously.

I understand what it is to lose family. I lost my entire immediate family at a young and older age. I am here alone. I will die alone. It's quite empowering to need no one for your physical, mental, and emotional well being. It's further empowering also to at one time have the world against you, l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y lose everything including your entire wealth, friends, and family--but nonetheless slowly climb out inch by inch in the darkness--and then succeed in a big way. No tidewater melancholy, no yearning for lost causes, just purposeful and determined direction and action. My life has shown me that nothing is impossible. Everything you desire--no matter, who you are, your upbringing, your education or lack of, your "limitations"--can be achieved.

Your father was great. But he served his purpose (among many others), which was to help make you into who you are today. Now take those lessons he tried to instill and put them to work--in his honor. Would he have allowed his son to self-deprecate with a BPD? Your life can be anything you want it to be simply by the choices you make and intransigent execution of the game plan. Choose wisely friend.

 

[exhausted]

You mentioned your father twice. You also mention connecting with this girl at a time when you lost your father. I also notice you call your father, "dad," a verbal anchor which demonstrates a strong emotional imprint. So you likely feel a "hole" from your dad's loss, and here come the BPD to the rescue to fill this hole. And you the "savior" could not deny help to another who needs it, especially to one who is servicing your "hole" unconsciously.

I understand what it is to lose family. I lost my entire immediate family at a young and older age. I am here alone. I will die alone. It's quite empowering to need no one for your physical, mental, and emotional well being. It's further empowering also to at one time have the world against you, l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y lose everything including your entire wealth, friends, and family--but nonetheless slowly climb out inch by inch in the darkness--and then succeed in a big way. No tidewater melancholy, no yearning for lost causes, just purposeful and determined direction and action. My life has shown me that nothing is impossible. Everything you desire--no matter, who you are, your upbringing, your education or lack of, your "limitations"--can be achieved.

Your father was great. But he served his purpose (among many others), which was to help make you into who you are today. Now take those lessons he tried to instill and put them to work--in his honor. Would he have allowed his son to self-deprecate with a BPD? Your life can be anything you want it to be simply by the choices you make and intransigent execution of the game plan. Choose wisely friend.

I'm sorry you had to go through all of that..
My dad was my best friend, losing a parent at 35 is rough especially when you have young children..
i agree about dying alone and I know i will see my dad again.
Yes the girl filled a void for sure, despite her being chaos and cruel, which is so shocking as we were very close and i considered her my best friend and lover/companion, that makes it hard to let go as the good side of her, yes she was literally split personalities, i really enjoyed and will miss forever.. a part of me thought i would get to go thro life entirely with her. There is something missing in her she knows but refuses to see or search or be accountable for.. i built a ship of love, support , loyalty and compassion and she single handily smashed and sank it but blames me..

I appreciate your perception and guidance.. thank you..

 

[SmooveMooves]

Sure why go through extensive med school when you can just google "BPD" and see if she matches the bullet points.