I'm going to date a bpd chick

[Dash Riprock]

dude if your advice is to find a hot stripper that does escorting on the side and chances are she's bpd then you must have experience with bpd by dating them therefore are a fool if you "never knew" these types were to be avoided at all costs.

you said bpd has a combination of 5 destructive behaviors. how many red flags more did you need?

im not buying the excuse that "everything is normal just they seem a little odd" and then all of a sudden they flip when they have you hooked.

no they know you're thirsty up front and ignoring their red flags all aling cuz she's "hot and wild sex".

you dudes that chase these bpd chicks must learn ZERO about them except for sex.

their families, friends, social circles, co-workers past etc or else you'd really get clued in.

This guy gets my vote for the MOST IGNORANT SS Poster/Member of ALL TIME.

He has admittedly NEVER dated a BPD chick yet feels qualified to call everyone out for not seeing flags, being blinded by the p*ssy, etc. "Oh, I would have done this done this and that bla bla." So easy and beta mind you to play "armchair" relationship coach, telling everyone what to do in hindsight. Provides absolutely no value to this board.

What a total lost d*ck.

 

[Pandora]

This guy gets my vote for the MOST IGNORANT SS Poster/Member of ALL TIME.

He has admittedly NEVER dated a BPD chick yet feels qualified to call everyone out for not seeing flags, being blinded by the p*ssy, etc. "Oh, I would have done this done this and that bla bla." So easy and beta mind you to play "armchair" relationship coach, telling everyone what to do in hindsight. Provides absolutely no value to this board.

What a total lost d*ck.

Lolol Exactly. Hindsight is 20/20. He probably didn't even know what BPD was before he came on this forum and now he is an expert. Not cool.

 

[exhausted]

Lolol Exactly. Hindsight is 20/20. He probably didn't even know what BPD was before he came on this forum and now he is an expert. Not cool.

I'm 39, I've had enough ***** for two lifetimes.

The problem is not blinded by ***** the problem is blinded by the fact that once you are bonded then these little things aren't just here and there where you blow them off for not being perfect anymore, but instead they start popping up more and more as time goes on. I didnt get gaslighted until over a year in.
She even told me about 18 months in that she no longer just keeps things to herself to keep from having problems anymore, she cant help it the impulsivity takes over more and more. My thinking is what the hell do we have problems about things are GREAT. LITTLE DID i know the cluster b sabatoages everything. She even told me she is her own worst enemy.
The day would be great and by late night she would just always find a way to start a fight. Even going to bed. She'd wake me up at 1am and leave my house because she was bothered by something, Like what the fuchk is wrong with u that u cant iust talk or tell me???? 3am driving 45 mins home for NO reason. I would be in shock. Like what the fruck just happened???

At least 15x just up and leave in 3.5 years.

It's unreal you feel baffled.

Then u get a call and the appolgies come and they are genuine and she truly loves you and this and that.

I cant tell you how many times for no reason she would get mad, up and leave, call me 3 hours later and want to drive all the way back to stay with me. At first i let her many times because she was genuinely sufferring and i believed she loved me, but then after awhile i would tell her NO you bailed on me like im a pos so i dont want u to come back. This worked for awhile.

Doesnt matter as they cant control themselves.

Last summer my kid wrecked his four wheeler, fractured his skull TBI and life flighted for life saving surgery. He was in a coma for 3 days and in the hospital rehab for 9 when his hands and entire face went numb and he couldnt see so they transferred him to the ER for ct scans and lumbar punctures to see if his cerebralspinal Fluid was infected. Anyways we were there 7 hours. My sister came and works 3rd shift so she woke up at 4pm that day and i had been up for 24 hours straight so we decided once he is back in a normal room she would stay w him to keep an eye on red flags and i would go sleep as she was wide awake. Anyways i went to my moms house at 330 am as it was closer. My ex called me at 8am the next day and i answered my phone told her what happen and was at my moms and SHE ACCUSED ME OF BEING WITH A GIRL CHEATING AND BROKE UP W ME. This was the hardest time of my life. I waited hours to see if my son survived the sx, then he was in a coma 3 days then took another 4 to move his right side of his body b4 i knew if the brain damage to the left brain was permanent.

She dumped me for being at my moms, i said my mom is right here u can talk to her or call the home phone here and i will answer it.

She raged and dumped me.

8 hours later she called me yelling at me that i dont care that its over, i said my kid almost died we were in the ER 7 hours which u knew b4 u went to bed, i am yet to know if my kid is permantly damaged for life and u break up w me accusing me when i need u most u do this. She begged me to forgive her telling me she cant control herself and her mouth.

A month ago an odd situation occurs and i ask her about it and she tells me i do nothing but cause problems and ignores me for 4 days, discards me then calls the next to get back together, tried for 4 days straight and i attacked the chit out of her NO F her terrible treatment of me that she is awful to me in every regard, and told her if i find out she was cheating on me good luck when u see me in person with your new guy. Good luck. And have ignored her since.

Point is it took me till now to get away from her when i should have last summer when i almost lost my kid and was losing my mind instead of her being there for me she dumps me accusing me of being w a girl because i slept at my moms just causing me MORE stress. I didnt becauae i allowed myself to think that i knew she has issues she cant control and doesnt mean to be like this.

Either way they just ruin your life.

I'm a tough dude in and out, been thro hell and back, i ran into a room at 3am and found my dad who was my hero passed away and couldn't save him. which as horrible as that is, these cluster b's will cause you near that same suffering for years. It's a sufferring beyond belief.


NOW REMEMBER AT THIS TIME THIS GIRL THINKS I AM THE PROBLEM.

The cluster b's are so mentally ill they dont even know the extent of it.

Terrifying

 

[Billtx49]

Either way they just ruin your life.

Your own life is entirely within your control zone.…
Choose what to do.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

This guy gets my vote for the MOST IGNORANT SS Poster/Member of ALL TIME.

He has admittedly NEVER dated a BPD chick yet feels qualified to call everyone out for not seeing flags, being blinded by the p*ssy, etc. "Oh, I would have done this done this and that bla bla." So easy and beta mind you to play "armchair" relationship coach, telling everyone what to do in hindsight. Provides absolutely no value to this board.

What a total lost d*ck.

"Most Ignorant SS Poster / Member of All Time”. If being smart enough to not get involved or destroyed by a BPD like the “smart members of all time" on SS that wind up staying with a nut for X amount of time then “ignorant” I’ll be. I for one notice red flags? And mention things gently to the other party and they continue? I bounce. Gone as in never to return, respond, reply etc. Period. Dead serious.


Again. We need to know what were the EXACT signs you personally experienced that clued you in that the chick you dated was not only BPD by nuts. Not something you read online. YOUR experience. There’s no way in hell anyone involved with a nutcase can say with a straight face they went into a blackout coma at any sign that wasn’t sunshine and rainbows during the time they dated a BPD nut. You cannot expect anyone to actually believe you went through life as a recluse in a bubble world where you never witnessed toxic behavior in any other person that you ever came across that would give you a “heads up” that something was up with this person.


No way all out of the blue hells gates broke loose at once and bam you just broke up and IMMEDIATE BPD was diagnosed. There had to be a period of time red flags were popping up and you IGNORED them.


It’s not just BPD it’s toxic behavior in general. If you are unwilling to be honest with yourselves you will remain willfully ignorant of dishonesty in others.


So what is it? Either you:


A) Ignored any red flags and signs of toxic behavior because the chick was hot, “wild sex”, you were needy and desperate for her “validation”.

B) You were abused your entire life to the point where any abuse was normal and you couldn’t recognize any signs in the chick.

C) Or you lived your life in a sheltered bubble world where you’ve never experienced toxic behavior in anyone till a BPD came into your life.

 

[exhausted]

Your own life is entirely within your control zone.…
Choose what to do.

Exactly.
Even tho my heart says one thing my mind knows she will just make me miserable and ruin my life. So i have to fight off my heart every single day. Yes she has issues and was cruel and horrible at times but i truly do love her but i will stay away as i remember thinking quite often recently that she is a sinking ship.

 

[Billtx49]

but i will stay away as i remember thinking quite often recently that she is a sinking ship.

Yup, not like she's going to get better in the future without professional therapy is it ? It's called a Personality Disorder because that's who they are and what they suffer from.
Don't know of any man that would willingly want to engage with a disordered woman except the OP.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I'm 39, I've had enough ***** for two lifetimes.

The problem is not blinded by ***** the problem is blinded by the fact that once you are bonded then these little things aren't just here and there where you blow them off for not being perfect anymore, but instead they start popping up more and more as time goes on. I didnt get gaslighted until over a year in.
She even told me about 18 months in that she no longer just keeps things to herself to keep from having problems anymore, she cant help it the impulsivity takes over more and more. My thinking is what the hell do we have problems about things are GREAT. LITTLE DID i know the cluster b sabatoages everything. She even told me she is her own worst enemy.
The day would be great and by late night she would just always find a way to start a fight. Even going to bed. She'd wake me up at 1am and leave my house because she was bothered by something, Like what the fuchk is wrong with u that u cant iust talk or tell me???? 3am driving 45 mins home for NO reason. I would be in shock. Like what the fruck just happened???

At least 15x just up and leave in 3.5 years.

It's unreal you feel baffled.

Then u get a call and the appolgies come and they are genuine and she truly loves you and this and that.

I cant tell you how many times for no reason she would get mad, up and leave, call me 3 hours later and want to drive all the way back to stay with me. At first i let her many times because she was genuinely sufferring and i believed she loved me, but then after awhile i would tell her NO you bailed on me like im a pos so i dont want u to come back. This worked for awhile.

Doesnt matter as they cant control themselves.

Last summer my kid wrecked his four wheeler, fractured his skull TBI and life flighted for life saving surgery. He was in a coma for 3 days and in the hospital rehab for 9 when his hands and entire face went numb and he couldnt see so they transferred him to the ER for ct scans and lumbar punctures to see if his cerebralspinal Fluid was infected. Anyways we were there 7 hours. My sister came and works 3rd shift so she woke up at 4pm that day and i had been up for 24 hours straight so we decided once he is back in a normal room she would stay w him to keep an eye on red flags and i would go sleep as she was wide awake. Anyways i went to my moms house at 330 am as it was closer. My ex called me at 8am the next day and i answered my phone told her what happen and was at my moms and SHE ACCUSED ME OF BEING WITH A GIRL CHEATING AND BROKE UP W ME. This was the hardest time of my life. I waited hours to see if my son survived the sx, then he was in a coma 3 days then took another 4 to move his right side of his body b4 i knew if the brain damage to the left brain was permanent.

She dumped me for being at my moms, i said my mom is right here u can talk to her or call the home phone here and i will answer it.

She raged and dumped me.

8 hours later she called me yelling at me that i dont care that its over, i said my kid almost died we were in the ER 7 hours which u knew b4 u went to bed, i am yet to know if my kid is permantly damaged for life and u break up w me accusing me when i need u most u do this. She begged me to forgive her telling me she cant control herself and her mouth.

A month ago an odd situation occurs and i ask her about it and she tells me i do nothing but cause problems and ignores me for 4 days, discards me then calls the next to get back together, tried for 4 days straight and i attacked the chit out of her NO F her terrible treatment of me that she is awful to me in every regard, and told her if i find out she was cheating on me good luck when u see me in person with your new guy. Good luck. And have ignored her since.

Point is it took me till now to get away from her when i should have last summer when i almost lost my kid and was losing my mind instead of her being there for me she dumps me accusing me of being w a girl because i slept at my moms just causing me MORE stress. I didnt becauae i allowed myself to think that i knew she has issues she cant control and doesnt mean to be like this.

Either way they just ruin your life.

I'm a tough dude in and out, been thro hell and back, i ran into a room at 3am and found my dad who was my hero passed away and couldn't save him. which as horrible as that is, these cluster b's will cause you near that same suffering for years. It's a sufferring beyond belief.


NOW REMEMBER AT THIS TIME THIS GIRL THINKS I AM THE PROBLEM.

The cluster b's are so mentally ill they dont even know the extent of it.

Terrifying

F*ck, dude. What a story. Thanks for sharing. Be strong and stay away from this psychotic horror of a person. She is clinically sick and belongs in a psych hospital somewhere. Seriously.

God speed, brother.

 

[exhausted]

F*ck, dude. What a story. Thanks for sharing. Be strong and stay away from this psychotic horror of a person. She is clinically sick and belongs in a psych hospital somewhere. Seriously.

God speed, brother.

Thank you. I share to help those who are uninformed. I don't wish a bpd on anyone.

 

[exhausted]

Yup, not like she's going to get better in the future without professional therapy is it ? It's called a Personality Disorder because that's who they are and what they suffer from.
Don't know of any man that would willingly want to engage with a disordered woman except the OP.

Exactly. You just have to teach yourself they have no ability to change just get worse

 

[btownbuck2012]

Listen to what this female has to say. They ONLY feel better when they tear YOU down.

Look at the difference from 3:00 to 3:50 on part 2 below:

That switch from feeling terrible to totally dissociating from it and being a completely different person WITHIN seconds...Jesus F*cking Christ

 

[Fruitbat]

I have a BPD mother and I can tell you that you fvcking know it when you see it.

Sadly I have picked up a few "quiet borderline" traits - social rejection kills me, but as I am a man, it doesn't show up in public. Also, I have long periods of being fine so it may be more a bipolar thing, but the bad times have seen me suicidal and I have self harmed when young.

So, I would not qualify as full BPD but the thing is, this whole thing is a spectrum. Truly full blown BPD is a howling torrent.

Easiest way to identify is toddler like emotional control. Anything which could be remotely percieved as leaving them out of things results in angry shouting/tantrums and plots to "get you back"

My mother will find any new person connected with me and work to badmouth anyone who knows her, because she fears we are doing the same about her.

Other times she is really, really sweet, which is why I don't cut her off. The only way to deal is to completely withdraw when you see anb hint of crazy.

It's bizzare the things they come up with. Like if I tell my father or sister anything remotely personal, like a new girlfriend or idea for a business, if I don't tell her then I get cold-shouldered. This is the essense of it for her - as I say, it;s like a toddler in many ways.

For my poor dad, when she gets down some he has faced allgations of dom abuse, they both have had drinking and mild substance issues yet he is painted as keeping her prisoner and forcing her, despite she is pushing him to get her booze and stuff.

The one thing that never happens is take responsibility. They fear soial rejection above all so admitting wrong to them will result in them being cut out, because they see everything black and white....which is why they are so difficult to cure.
b
However, NPDs are the real scum, they know they are doing wrong but chose this path with malice.

 

[exhausted]

Look at the difference from 3:00 to 3:50 on part 2 below:

That switch from feeling terrible to totally dissociating from it and being a completely different person WITHIN seconds...Jesus F*cking Christ

I have a BPD mother and I can tell you that you fvcking know it when you see it.

Sadly I have picked up a few "quiet borderline" traits - social rejection kills me, but as I am a man, it doesn't show up in public. Also, I have long periods of being fine so it may be more a bipolar thing, but the bad times have seen me suicidal and I have self harmed when young.

So, I would not qualify as full BPD but the thing is, this whole thing is a spectrum. Truly full blown BPD is a howling torrent.

Easiest way to identify is toddler like emotional control. Anything which could be remotely percieved as leaving them out of things results in angry shouting/tantrums and plots to "get you back"

My mother will find any new person connected with me and work to badmouth anyone who knows her, because she fears we are doing the same about her.

Other times she is really, really sweet, which is why I don't cut her off. The only way to deal is to completely withdraw when you see anb hint of crazy.

It's bizzare the things they come up with. Like if I tell my father or sister anything remotely personal, like a new girlfriend or idea for a business, if I don't tell her then I get cold-shouldered. This is the essense of it for her - as I say, it;s like a toddler in many ways.

For my poor dad, when she gets down some he has faced allgations of dom abuse, they both have had drinking and mild substance issues yet he is painted as keeping her prisoner and forcing her, despite she is pushing him to get her booze and stuff.

The one thing that never happens is take responsibility. They fear soial rejection above all so admitting wrong to them will result in them being cut out, because they see everything black and white....which is why they are so difficult to cure.
b
However, NPDs are the real scum, they know they are doing wrong but chose this path with malice.

Wow this :

Easiest way to identify is toddler like emotional control. Anything which could be remotely percieved as leaving them out of things results in angry shouting/tantrums and plots to "get you back"

My ex acted like this and emotional like a child no control would literally run out the door and leave during a normal conversation.

An npd doesn't jave empathy, my ex even said whwn her 4 year old at the time falls down she laughs, she cant help it. She told me this after her kid fell running on the playground and got up crying as she laughed, of course she comforted her but i thought that was ODD to laugh at a kid, your kid that got hurt. Ya sometimes kidss falling or adults can be funny if it just went weird but to laugh at your own kid falling and getting hurt at 4 yrs old is troubling.

But one time we were in the pool and i was tossing her kid as she loved it like all kids and once she got water up her nose and my ex acted all compassionate and told me b careful and i was confused as hell as that situation wasn't a big deal. Maybe fake?

 

[exhausted]

Easiest way to identify is toddler like emotional control. Anything which could be remotely percieved as leaving them out of things results in angry shouting/tantrums and plots to "get you back"


Example.

My ex asked me to do something w her and her kid on a friday but i had plans to hang at my buddies friday for the first time in like 4 months so i told her sorry but i am hanging with the boys friday but am free all sat and sunday.

She went off raging on me, accused me of meeting girls there, broke things off and said that she is scheduling a massage sat, going to the gym and going on a vacation the following wed thro sat to Florida by herself.
"Because i cant do anything with them"

She lied about the trip to fla to hurt me

WTF because im busy ONE day.

But I'm the trouble maker she says.


Bpd stay away men.

Identify the flags and Run

 

[MrAddiction]

And on and on it goes. Another hero - another narcissist, who wants to shame and blame others.
Did somebody realize he only just reigstert a week ago and already attacks members? Great. The other day we called that trolls. There are a lots of threads of that kind. Why does anyone even bother to argue?
90 post in one week! There Must someone be really busy going out.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

And on and on it goes. Another hero - another narcissist, who wants to shame and blame others.
Did somebody realize he only just reigstert a week ago and already attacks members? Great. The other day we called that trolls. There are a lots of threads of that kind. Why does anyone even bother to argue?
90 post in one week! There Must someone be really busy going out.

We're BPD's "trolling" you because "hot and wild sex" when you couldn't restrain yourself from dating them and ignoring red flags? Anyone with common sense and self respect would dump anyone who started showing signs of red flags and move on. Not pretend they were completely clueless and helpless as if they'd never experienced toxic signs in any else they'd ever come across.

 

[exhausted]

We're BPD's "trolling" you because "hot and wild sex" when you couldn't restrain yourself from dating them and ignoring red flags? Anyone with common sense and self respect would dump anyone who started showing signs of red flags and move on. Not pretend they were completely clueless and helpless as if they'd never experienced toxic signs in any else they'd ever come across.

You make good points about seeing flags and not using those to move on or detach but when you say it's because of "hot sex" you sound like a dumbass fool. It's not because of sex, i have 3 fb's from my past any time i want over the last decade that does not include present booty on standby. It's because we have a difficulty detaching from an emotional standpoint due to their manipulation and OUR own problems within of course.
Open your eyes buddy.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

You make good points about seeing flags and not using those to move on or detach but when you say it's because of "hot sex" you sound like a dumbass fool. It's not because of sex, i have 3 fb's from my past any time i want over the last decade that does not include present booty on standby. It's because we have a difficulty detaching from an emotional standpoint due to their manipulation and OUR own problems within of course.
Open your eyes buddy.

Dude I've heard it MANY times on here about BPD's and "hot wild sex" and how the sex is insane as if dudes were addicted to BPD's like they were DJ Kryptonite.

 

[exhausted]

Dude I've heard it MANY times on here about BPD's and "hot wild sex" and how the sex is insane as if dudes were addicted to BPD's like they were DJ Kryptonite.

That's not always the case buddy there is no absolutes, wild sex is for the young, building a connection over the years the sex is 100x better than wild sex with a ***** for a fun time.

Wild sex is not what keeps you taking abuse for a bpd. If it wss we would all detach not give a chit and just bang em till they bounced.

Come on u are better than this.

 

[Leisuresuitlegend]

That's not always the case buddy there is no absolutes, wild sex is for the young, building a connection over the years the sex is 100x better than wild sex with a ***** for a fun time.

Wild sex is not what keeps you taking abuse for a bpd. If it wss we would all detach not give a chit and just bang em till they bounced.

Come on u are better than this.

So you admit it's "taking abuse" which should be on an ongoing basis therefore it's being ignored. Not something that just busts like a dam at once and you just leave and diagnose BPD. It's dudes taking abuse for a while and ignoring it then finger pointing as if they were "helpless victims" to not just man the hell up and walk.

Would anyone just let themselves be abused by friends? Why should some chick be different.