Struggling with no contact

exhausted

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Good for you man! I ended up blocking mine this morning from Snapchat after what she said I was like you know what I'm not going to keep going back and forth it's never going to end unless I put a stop to it. So I started it first and the more I thought about it I would ask her she needs to change and she would just mirror me back and tell me "when are you going to change?" It seems the further and longer we talk the more she seems to deteriorate IMHO like left and right red flags checking every box for bpd which she still say she does not have (they all say that) I can't be bothered.. if we don't talk again I'm sure she will try to make another attempt before my birthday or befor the holidays since she knows I'm going to be busy.. last year she was mad as of why I did not send any of the $1,670 I made a week with her and I said why?
They NEVER answer a question.

They are unable to aknowledge anything.

I had to cut it off as well as it was killing my soul.
 

noBSgames

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Well so much for making her new number a secret when she found out I blocked her she finally called my phone but I did not answer its obvious a Brooklyn area code I'm still not going to pick up
 

StonesDK

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I can whole heatedly say I no longer give a fvuck. 3 months out and I'm cured from this madness. She must sense it because now she calls instead of texting me about our son and tries to small talk. Even started to add smiley emoticons at the end to the texts she does send. Her contacting me is increasing too. Yet she avoids looking at me when I get there, and I can sense she's emotional. Honeymoon phase must be nearing it's end.
 

Billtx49

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I can whole heatedly say I no longer give a fvuck.
Her contacting me is increasing too. Yet she avoids looking at me when I get there.
Typical shallowness. Her disorder got triggered by your dgaf attitude. It's nothing more than that. Along with your attitude, expect and be ready for a possible future hoover attempt coming at you.
 
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StonesDK

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Typical shallowness. Her disorder got triggered by your dgaf attitude. It's nothing more than that. Along with your attitude, expect and be ready for a possible future hoover attempt coming at you.
I doubt she's going to hoover me, since I was the one who left her. If it was the other way around then she might. You have to remember these people are scared as **** of rejection. The more I show I could care less, the more likely she will assume I will reject her or even worse dating somebody else.

Another reason she won't hoover, is the smear campaign she did to her friends and family to save face. Plus the parading of her new life on Facebook with the new replacement. She knows damn well, if we were to get back together, people will see the crazy. Image is too important to her.

She operates out of an agenda of the perfect family life so she's not going to let people see the dysfunction of going back. Her new guy is her new life. She stayed with a severely dysfunctional guy for 18 years just to keep up appearances.

The only way she's going to try a hoover is, if he pulls the plug and she already took that into account going after a guy who is a 4 or 5 at best. Not exactly somebody who has women making eye contact on a regular basis. He is a typical rescuer too. She chose a better mark this time around.
 
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MrAddiction

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doubt she's going to hoover me, since I was the one who left her
That alone does not save you from any Hoover. And hoovering does not necessarily mean her wanting to get back together with you. Keeping you along the Side while being with your replacement will be enough oftentimes.
 

StonesDK

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That alone does not save you from any Hoover. And hoovering does not necessarily mean her wanting to get back together with you. Keeping you along the Side while being with your replacement will be enough oftentimes.
I get what you're saying and maybe i'm just naive or stubborn. I know it happens a lot with BPDs from what I've read. She wants my respect above all. She knows if she tries to cheat on her current replacement I will start questioning her worth. It would go against everything she stood for when she was with me. She might Hoover just for some attention. I wouldn't care about that. Let her
 

stovepipe

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23 days no contact.
Fuchk that unappreciative cvnt
Try to stop counting the days or it will consume you. Reading your posts I can see just how frustrated and angry you are. I've been there, but you are a lot stronger than most, as I always made contact when she went silent even the times I didn't do chit.

I can only imagine how long she would have stayed silent had I not made contact. Phuk these bishes!! You have the power in situation....Only way to keep it is stay NC forever. It will hurt like no other, but its the only way.
 
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exhausted

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Try to stop counting the days or it will consume you. Reading your posts I can see just how frustrated and angry you are. I've been there, but you are a lot stronger than most, as I always made contact when she went silent even the times I didn't do chit.

I can only imagine how long she would have stayed silent had I not made contact. Phuk these bishes!! You have the power in situation....Only way to keep it is stay NC forever. It will hurt like no other, but its the only way.
Thanks man and good timing i was close to calling her today for the very first time about a few hours ago. I missed my best friend but the thought of how cruel and abusive she can be with remembering that sick feeling in my stomach for NO reason stopped me .

Again thanks for the words of support.
The damn GOT finale is on tonight and we watched the entire series together except for this year and i guess that has been weighing on me.

I've chosen anger to slay my sadness and I'm gonna keep letting it flow. I'm seriously pissed for doing so much for her and her kid and not being appreciated or treated well in return. I mean the girl is bipolar and altho i love her kid the kid was an absolute terror for 2/3 years and i was helpful and great with her. Its disgusting to get no appreciation. Hurts
 

marmel75

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I was suppose to be on vacation with the ex this week, also today is her bday.

She broke things off in a rage uninviting me from all our summers plans (months ago) recently she reached out and asked me if i was still going i said no as she is unstable and terrible to me.

Why cant i just shake this off and move on already?

I just dont get it, 3 years tog and she is npd and literally 2 people, one great the other a nightmare, screaming and yelling and rages and twisting things beyond belief.

I made the mistake of connecting with her 6 months after my dad passed and it has literally ruined me as far as moving on from this girl.

I'm embarrassed for all i have endured yet instead of being mad and moving on im hurt and dont get any of it.
The easiest fix? Start dating and banging other women and you won't have time to think about her.
 

MrAddiction

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No prospects and worse no ambition.
Imo, banging or dating other women is no cure for all. You miss your best friend as you state - some random datet or banged chick for sure be some distraction like anythingelse but no replacement or cure for the of missing a best friend. And exactly that is the problem these Cluster B(itches), cause: it is hard to replace the feeling they gave.
 

exhausted

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Imo, banging or dating other women is no cure for all. You miss your best friend as you state - some random datet or banged chick for sure be some distraction like anythingelse but no replacement or cure for the of missing a best friend. And exactly that is the problem these Cluster B(itches), cause: it is hard to replace the feeling they gave.
Yep sure is.
Best friend one moment, cruel the next, force you to yearn for peace and happiness with the cluster b.
Repeated pattern.
 

TheGambino

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I f8ck girls all the time guys, but I still think of 1 or 2 high quality girls with the super great bodies that I didn't f8ck yet or that are on the backburner for whatever reason(ex). Its hard sometimes but work on yourself, be the best you and go on with your life. Forget about the girl that f8cked up.
 

exhausted

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I f8ck girls all the time guys, but I still think of 1 or 2 high quality girls with the super great bodies that I didn't f8ck yet or that are on the backburner for whatever reason(ex). Its hard sometimes but work on yourself, be the best you and go on with your life. Forget about the girl that f8cked up.
I banged many girls being single for 7 years.
Unfullfilling.
Would be nice to have a life companion
 

exhausted

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Went out last night..
picked up a cute 23 year old, then got bored and let her ride off..
also turned down a 39 year old 8.5 who's been after me for 10 months .
It was a fun night and i had 2 options and declined them both... i miss my girl.
Hard to accept you have to let go of someone you love because they are damaged..
 

uk41

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Even though I'm very upset about my ex I would find no contact bloody marvellous at the moment.

But we have children together and she keeps sending me messages under the guise of children issues. The issues are generally non urgent or we've already agreed the principle, yet she keeps getting in touch.

Worse still, she occasionally turns up on my doorstep at "stupid AM" with some 'emergency' for example regarding children's sunscreen, or clothing.

I the repeated contact really upsets me and its giving me very confused feelings regarding what I feel for her and the failed relationship, destroyed family etc.

I sent her a long message a couple of weeks ago and the amount of messages dropped for a while but this week I've had another visit and a few messages.

After a nightmare last night (I'm getting terrible nightmares about her that wake me at 4am) I sent her a message to stop texting me again.

I'd rather not block her number but I might have to if she keeps going. The only thing is - I think this will encourage more little 'emergency visits' to my house.
 

Physicist.

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Get the **** away from her. Narcissists are as bad as psico/sociopaths, my father has NPD I understand your pain even though most people won't as narcissists are amazing manipulators. Go NC bro do NOT come back she will make your life hell.
 

stovepipe

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As Shari Schreiber says..."Having a child with a NPD,BPD,HPD, ect is a death sentence". Lost count how many men I've read who abandoned their child because they were losing their sanity having to stay in contact with the mom.

There is a guy I knew that had two kids with a BPD. She dumped him, he spent a good year trying to get her back. Didn't work, but in that time she slept with countless men. The problem was she was introducing the kids to each man and they would call him dad. My buddy got tired of her messing with kids minds with all these different men that he himself became mentally insane. He later hired a lawyer to take full custody.

With the 1000's of hrs I spent reading, I have yet to read a single positive story about having a child with one of them. They constantly use the kids as pawns to get what they want. My heart goes to out to any man who has one with them.
 
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