You make a lot of sense. I saw her once a week for months and months, still remained close but there was no effort for more.
What drugs did she do?
Mine told me years b4 me she smoked pot every single day for 4 years. I thought that was crazy.
She said she got married and was miserable.
Over the last 3 years w me and even recently she said she wanted to do it again and asked me to w her . I declined. First off im not ruining my career over that and second im a whiskey guy. She makea 27 an hr at a good energy corp and would he risking her job. What a dummy.
Anyways she said it takes her to her happy place because normally she always feels stressed and anxious. Like wtf how can u admit that but not see you are over dramatic and make problems out of nothing? Ha. Like still the victim. Cant realize she is nuts.
I get the spending thing as well.
Not on me tho, which i dont mind but for holidays she would spend way too much on family and brothers that are in their 40s.
She would spend at least 500 on her kid each xmas who was 3 - 6 yrs old during our time, i thought that was nuts.
Kids can get 10 presents and be overwhelmed at that age, no need to buy 20.
And she wouldgo broke spending this while living at home the entire 3 years.
But that is how she was raised a spoiled entitled princess now a pain in the ass princess.
Maybe she was secretly doing drugs the last year or so. Do u think?
How else do u make 27 an hour live at home for free and yet have 100$ in ur savings? She had lots of debt but should have been putting away 500 a month at least after her bills this last year, i worked out her budget for her as she asked me.
No other explaination
My ex smoked weed just about every day for over 15 years. She would walk around the apt with the bowl and lighter in her hand all the time. Although I did join her on occasion, It got annoying really fast being in a smoke filled apt. It was her secret alcohol ,coke and cigg addiction she hid from me.
Chit, I saw my ex 6 days a week for almost 2 years. Gave me a key to her place within the first month. My business started to crumble soon as I started seeing her. I spent all my time with her, when she would go to work, I barley was able to focus on mine.
Who knows if she was doing drugs, but she was definitely hiding something from you. They all seem to have secret little lives that they hide all so well. Have you asked her if she was doing any drugs? All these types of women can offer is their time, gifts and sex. They are not capable of loving or having a healthy emotional attachment, its just not possible for them. My ex was a hard worker, never late in years and did her job well. That was something I respected the hell out of, but she had nothing to show for it.
She despised me cause I owned my own business. Before she left for work in the morning she would walk over to the bed and give me a kiss saying "god, I hate you, wish I could stay home like you". I tried to open a business with her, but she we never got around to it. Thats how much I loved her, I wanted to work by her side everyday as we were a good team when we put our minds together.
When we first started talking she told me her liver was failing from all her years of alcohol and drug abuse. That she quit drinking, and loved the fact I rarely if ever drink. Well, as time went on she would come home from her bar manager job smelling like alcohol. She would hide from me, but I always smelled it, when I called her out she would say "ok, I only had a couple beers and a shot, not a big deal". Then I asked her "I thought you cant drink anymore cause of your liver problem". Even tho I went with her to the Dr's many times, the liver thing she said magically healed. Knowing what I know now, that was a BS story to get me to feel sorry for her.
As time went on, so did her alcohol abuse. Then I started noticing her coke addiction by her behavior as I hung out with enough druggies in my younger years to know. She denied it all day long, but I later found proof she was doing it. Get this, even with the 100% proof I had she was doing it, she still denied it. It was getting to the point in our final months that I was catching her lying, cheating, ect with proof of it all, but she just couldn't for the life of her admit it, even showing her the evidence she still denied it! Telling the truth was probably one of the hardest things for her, lying was her 2nd language. I blame myself for being the biggest moron, probably on this entire forum for staying as long as I did. Now, even 9 months out, I'm suffering pain I never even knew was even possible. Im getting panic and anxiety attacks numerous times a week, hair turning grey so fast it's scary, sharp pains in my heart, cant get a good nights sleep, picked up some addictions to help cope with the pain. A total mind phuk and more than likely some permanent mental damage.
I've been thru some chit in my life, but I honestly can't think of any pain worse than what I have and still go thru. Not even losing a family member would top the pain that relationship caused. I'm just thankful I educated myself and I'm not one of those sheeple who's so brainwashed to chase a BPD for years trying to get her back thinking her love was truly genuine. I'm blessed to be where I am today and also with the knowledge I gained to see everything for what it really was.....a mirage in the desert!
After what I went thru I now have developed what feels like super human kind of abilities to spot a lie before its told, to recognize manipulation where others cant, a scam from a mile away, to spot a Cluster B by their soul piercing eye contact, being taken advantage of, lies thru text, ect. Ever since she left I realized a handful of my friends were actually narcs, I got ride of ever one of them. It hit me that I was attracting abusive people in my life. While I lost almost everything, I gained a few things I always wanted.....Respect for myself, not being afraid to speak up or say no, and also not afraid to cut the toxic people out of my life even if that meant I'm all alone.
