BPD's can control their behavior…they choose not to

[exhausted]

You got it backwards. Blocking her shows you've moved on, not blocking her shows you're open for a hoover and not over her.

Right.
Other wise looking for trouble.

Believe me i understand NOT getting hoovered is rough because even tho all theor **** the hoovering is a way we felt loved or wanted thro all the other crap.

But u gotta block and stay away to move on.

Im 15 days no contact today and it is rough.
Part of me misses my best friend but the other part of me is receiving this peace and tranquility, something that has been absent on a consistent basis for a few years.
Its hard.

 

[noBSgames]

Hey I was wondering how many bpd females are gold diggers?

 

[StonesDK]

I see her 4 times a week when I pick up and drop my son off. We have to stay in contact because of it. I keep the contact as low as possible. If she wants to hoover there's nothing I can do about that. She will have plenty of opportunity to do it.

She also changed her profile picture with the two of them laughing together a while ago. That picture went up the same day i told her my son needs to be ready to make the handover as short as possible, making the timing a little suspect. She has my family members as friends including my brother which she doesn't even like. He was the one that told me about it. So yeah blocking her would from my perspective only show her she has a hold there. It would make sense if I didn't have to see her.

if I react to her having a replacement and flaunting it, then that's a battle won for her. She has tried many tricks to get a reaction out of me and so far I haven't reacted. Indifference is the only way to win. Blocking is an emotional response in my case. It would only make sense if I could go no contact

 

[exhausted]

I see her 4 times a week when I pick up and drop my son off. We have to stay in contact because of it. I keep the contact as low as possible. If she wants to hoover there's nothing I can do about that. She will have plenty of opportunity to do it.

She also changed her profile picture with the two of them laughing together a while ago. That picture went up the same day i told her my son needs to be ready to make the handover as short as possible, making the timing a little suspect. She has my family members as friends including my brother which she doesn't even like. He was the one that told me about it. So yeah blocking her would from my perspective only show her she has a hold there. It would make sense if I didn't have to see her.

if I react to her having a replacement and flaunting it, then that's a battle won for her. She has tried many tricks to get a reaction out of me and so far I haven't reacted. Indifference is the only way to win. Blocking is an emotional response in my case. It would only make sense if I could go no contact

She's a scumbag and he doesn't realize he is a pathetic cuck.

Well done not playing into their games.

 

[StonesDK]

She's a scumbag and he doesn't realize he is a pathetic cuck.

Well done not playing into their games.

Thanks exhausted. The more I read, compare and contrast. Specially what I've experienced after it ended, I no longer lean towards BPD as much anymore. She does fit BPD traits, but now she's showing more signs of being a covert narcissist. Some suggest narcissism is part of BPD. Only thing that doesn't fit is narcissists tend to lie about how great her childhood was which she never did. They both have overlapping traits, specially the victim mentality and playing on it. The new guy is nothing more than narcissistic supply just as I were. My role was to take care of her and the kids. His role will be much bigger. Now she needs her house fixed and help with the kids and daily life.

That's how narcissists operate. They find supply based on what they need at the moment. When she left her husband, she needed a father figure for the kids which i fit perfectly. This also explains why she won't be hoovering me. The times after, she tried to elicit sympathy i grey rocked her. I'm a dried up well and no longer worthy as a supply source

Which makes me come to the final conclusion. She's basically prostituting herself. First prostitute i've ever slept with and it only nearly cost me my soul and spirit. I'm glad I'm on the other side and can see her sad attempts now. Even laugh at it at times.

Right now I'm reading and watching videos of how to fvck with a narcissist and it's pretty funny. Don't know if I will ever use it but it makes me laugh

 

[exhausted]

Thanks exhausted. The more I read, compare and contrast. Specially what I've experienced after it ended, I no longer lean towards BPD as much anymore. She does fit BPD traits, but now she's showing more signs of being a covert narcissist. Some suggest narcissism is part of BPD. Only thing that doesn't fit is narcissists tend to lie about how great her childhood was which she never did. They both have overlapping traits, specially the victim mentality and playing on it. The new guy is nothing more than narcissistic supply just as I were. My role was to take care of her and the kids. His role will be much bigger. Now she needs her house fixed and help with the kids and daily life.

That's how narcissists operate. They find supply based on what they need at the moment. When she left her husband, she needed a father figure for the kids which i fit perfectly. This also explains why she won't be hoovering me. The times after, she tried to elicit sympathy i grey rocked her. I'm a dried up well and no longer worthy as a supply source

Which makes me come to the final conclusion. She's basically prostituting herself. First prostitute i've ever slept with and it only nearly cost me my soul and spirit. I'm glad I'm on the other side and can see her sad attempts now. Even laugh at it at times.

Right now I'm reading and watching videos of how to fvck with a narcissist and it's pretty funny. Don't know if I will ever use it but it makes me laugh

Yep bpd and npd traits are similar. The cluster b.and crossover characteristics.

Plus she is unintelligent as she doesn't even realize she is being a shchit mother bringing around different men and so quickly.
Does she not even know how that looks?

You are better off! Count your blessings.

Keep reading and keep venting it definitely helps.

 

[StonesDK]

Yep bpd and npd traits are similar. The cluster b.and crossover characteristics.

Plus she is unintelligent as she doesn't even realize she is being a shchit mother bringing around different men and so quickly.
Does she not even know how that looks?

You are better off! Count your blessings.

Keep reading and keep venting it definitely helps.

Thanks a lot for all your support exhausted it has meant a lot and made my day a couple of times.


Well I just met him having to pick up my son for this weekend.

Oh my god

What a meek guy. I went over to shake his hand like a man. He gives me this half limp handshake and could barely look me in the eyes. Plus he was a bit drunk. I really wish I could post a picture of him, you would be shocked. Not only did she trade down in the looks department, he looks like an alcoholic. This is one guy she can wrap around her little finger.

Now I know why she has avoided me meeting him. She knows I would see the desperation. No wonder she was in such a bad mood. Polite but she looked like somebody had pissed her off. There goes her last leverage over my emotions.

I suppose i should feel good, but she looks like she's in a bad place and just picked the first guy that gave her attention. For a second I had some pity and felt the old rescuer rear it's ugly head. Thankfully just for a second

 

[exhausted]

Thanks a lot for all your support exhausted it has meant a lot and made my day a couple of times.


Well I just met him having to pick up my son for this weekend.

Oh my god

What a meek guy. I went over to shake his hand like a man. He gives me this half limp handshake and could barely look me in the eyes. Plus he was a bit drunk. I really wish I could post a picture of him, you would be shocked. Not only did she trade down in the looks department, he looks like an alcoholic. This is one guy she can wrap around her little finger.

Now I know why she has avoided me meeting him. She knows I would see the desperation. No wonder she was in such a bad mood. Polite but she looked like somebody had pissed her off. There goes her last leverage over my emotions.

I suppose i should feel good, but she looks like she's in a bad place and just picked the first guy that gave her attention. For a second I had some pity and felt the old rescuer rear it's ugly head. Thankfully just for a second

Yw. Glad to help.

He is pathetic and she knows she is deep down.

It's amazing the effort these cluster b's will put into causing us harm and terror, yet wouldn't put 10% of that effort into being better for the relationship.

 

[noBSgames]

Everybody at work wants to shake my hand after I got rid of my girl since they knew about her and what I was dealing with it's enough I deal with a stressful enough job

 

[Billtx49]

Everybody at work wants to shake my hand after I got rid of my girl since they knew about her and what I was dealing with it's enough I deal with a stressful enough job

Affirmation from others that know what she was about definitely helps and accelerates the healing process.…

 

[MrAddiction]

That's how narcissists operate. They find supply based on what they need at the moment.

Exactly that!
...and the Moment you are no longer willing to give her whatever she wants you are replaced.

 

[MrAddiction]

This is one guy she can wrap around her little finger.

...and thats what the Cluster Bs are about: control.
Ironically: The more she can control the guy she is with, the more he will have to suffer because she can live her life of lies to the fullest without any resistance.

 

[noBSgames]

Affirmation from others that know what she was about definitely helps and accelerates the healing process.…

Speaking of that she would swear up and down I was always telling bad things about her at work.. at first I did not but it got to the point she was doing stuff so it was known then came her trying to bad mouth me which did not work.. so she deactivates her social media..

IMHO any girl that needs to have two different facebook accounts is up to no good.

 

[exhausted]

...and thats what the Cluster Bs are about: control.
Ironically: The more she can control the guy she is with, the more he will have to suffer because she can live her life of lies to the fullest without any resistance.

Yep ALL about CONTROL.

And if u let her boss u around she won't respect u.

So u stay alpha and fight all the damn time.


Fuchn cvnts

 

[Billtx49]

Yep ALL about CONTROL.

And if u let her boss u around she won't respect u.

So u stay alpha and fight all the damn time.


Fuchn cvnts

Yes, it can happen even in a normal relationship with a healthy woman. The man gets Betatized over time and she loses her respect for him, but when you get involved with one of these types of women then that process tends to go into hyperdrive eventually.…

 

[btownbuck2012]

...and thats what the Cluster Bs are about: control.
Ironically: The more she can control the guy she is with, the more he will have to suffer because she can live her life of lies to the fullest without any resistance.

Good stuff here. It's important to understand the reason behind this. They are filled with great shame from childhood wounds. By calling them out on their lies, this makes them feel ashamed of themselves and the ONLY way to combat that is through several defense mechinisms they developed as children. Things like devaluing, blameshifting, acting superior and ultimately discarding you. It's done to protect their incredibly fragile non existent identities.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Yep ALL about CONTROL.

And if u let her boss u around she won't respect u.

So u stay alpha and fight all the damn time.


Fuchn cvnts

Once they've won, either through control or the establishment of a relationship, they get bored. They don't care about or want a connection with others, they want attention and to feel special. This is why boredom sets in once they have you, again either through control or the establishment of a relationship. Normal, healthy adult relationships can be boring and predictable at times. Cluster Bs are constantly searching for the high of the honeymoon stage of the relationship. And if you don't budge an inch and she can't control you? Well she'll resent that too and still leave eventually. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Getting cheated on or devalued or discarded is inevitable. If you're a complete afc beta chump, this will happen quickly. Probably within a few weeks to a month or two. Guys who have their act together get hit hardest because the bizarre behavior doesn't start until about a year in. At that point, you're convinced she's special and have a much harder time letting her go. You become very vulernable and open up to her which in turn digusts her and fills her with increidble rage and hatred towards you. "How could he have fallen for this?" "How could he have trusted me?" "How can he be so stupid to fall for me?" She now feels like she's been fooled! She feels great shame for being fooled by someone so stupid as to fall in love with her. Think about that sh*t for a minute. That is how their brains work.

Loving one of these women is the equivalent to waving a red flag in front of a bull. You're just pissing it off more and more and if you don't stop, it could cost you your life.

 

[exhausted]

Good stuff here. It's important to understand the reason behind this. They are filled with great shame from childhood wounds. By calling them out on their lies, this makes them feel ashamed of themselves and the ONLY way to combat that is through several defense mechinisms they developed as children. Things like devaluing, blameshifting, acting superior and ultimately discarding you. It's done to protect their incredibly fragile non existent identities.

Yep and it is a damn cycle. I delt w it for 3 years like a dummy. Well more like almost 2 as it started after a year.

Every thing revolves around them. U are there to be their servant and if u have a complaint or bring something up they are doing wrong good fuhkn GOD will u be punished for it.

I got accused of cheating for years, shamed about it to try to control me from my buddies or the gym. I blew it off, told her if she really thought that she would not be with me. However if i ever brought something like that up good LORD would i be raged on, ignored and punished for days for having the audacity to accuse her or disrespect her by having my own thoughts and feelings. We are not allowed to have feelings.

I never have had an urge to hurt her, but the matter of fact in me wishes she could turn into a guy for 10 seconds so i could knock his ****ing head off out of disdain for such torture over the years.

They bwhave like KIDS.

Cluster B act like children it is ridiculous

 

[exhausted]

Once they've won, either through control or the establishment of a relationship, they get bored. They don't care about or want a connection with others, they want attention and to feel special. This is why boredom sets in once they have you, again either through control or the establishment of a relationship. Normal, healthy adult relationships can be boring and predictable at times. Cluster Bs are constantly searching for the high of the honeymoon stage of the relationship. And if you don't budge an inch and she can't control you? Well she'll resent that too and still leave eventually. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Getting cheated on or devalued or discarded is inevitable. If you're a complete afc beta chump, this will happen quickly. Probably within a few weeks to a month or two. Guys who have their act together get hit hardest because the bizarre behavior doesn't start until about a year in. At that point, you're convinced she's special and have a much harder time letting her go. You become very vulernable and open up to her which in turn digusts her and fills her with increidble rage and hatred towards you. "How could he have fallen for this?" "How could he have trusted me?" "How can he be so stupid to fall for me?" She now feels like she's been fooled! She feels great shame for being fooled by someone so stupid as to fall in love with her. Think about that sh*t for a minute. That is how their brains work.

Loving one of these women is the equivalent to waving a red flag in front of a bull. You're just pissing it off more and more and if you don't stop, it could cost you your life.

Yep you are absolutely right. Mine was pretty good for over a year with maybe one or two episodes although she contained herself very well. Just these last six or 8 months she showed raging and screaming, has come unglued over the littlest of situations. It was after a year when I started becoming discarded here and there for the littlest of things. Flip out go nuts scream break things off hang up on me ignore me for a day call me the next day love me everything's fine act like nothing happened and I would be like what the f is wrong with you?? I was literally in shock of the behavior I couldn't even be mad it was so ridiculous it was like sitting here watching a little kid throw a temper tantrum run around and run out the door and then come back. What is just as disturbing is that these people are not embarrassed by their behavior. All that matters is that you are serving them and their feelings , one thing I always felt and I told her as long as I am doing everything you want all the time the relationship is great if I have any thought to do anything else for myself or with my friends or anything then I will be punished and mistreated anything for and sometimes discarded. The fact that these psycho vampires don't even realize how terrible they are is disturbing and concerning. They will never be happy they will never have a functional relationship and they will live in an internal hell within themselves their whole lives.

 

[Billtx49]

They bwhave like KIDS.

Cluster B act like children it is ridiculous

True. For whatever thing that happened to her at some point in her adolescence, she is emotionally immature and sometimes will make you think you are talking to a woman that doesn't understand what most woman her age do.
Bottom line, It's usually a losing deal getting involved with a damaged woman, and if you think you're dealing with a mental child or overly emotional teen at times, you most likeky are.
An emotionally immature for her age female.