EXtreme ONEitis help

[Going4it]

So in an attempt tonsave whatever dignity I have left. I am going to explain my situation here than text her. So I admit it. I'm an AFC and I have recently been reading the Rational Male to help me out a bit because I have no game whatsoever and if I do I'm not confident in it. I've always been afraid to approach women because of my self esteem combined with me being short plus a porn and alcohol addiction poor diet etc... recently I have been going to the gym and I've lost 22lbs and I feel better. The Oneits part however is for a girl that I fell for and got friend zoned, listened to her talk about BFs etc... I was so caught up that I didn't realize what was happening until my gut told me I was being used but nevertheless I went deeper and deeper into this ****. I spent hours on the phone talking about my life and goals and **** just to hear her talk about her ex who she got with and left since I've been talking to her. I'm feeling lower than a crippled crickets ass right now. I'm ashamed, embarrased etc.. I don't have many friends and I'm asking if anyone here has been in this situation and is there anyway to turn it around. I don't even want her anymore I just want this ***** inside of me to be gone.

 

[Meektrop]

Tell her off... but it won't make you feel better. Probably worse.

 

[darksprezzatura]

I can relate to you mate.

That horrible sinking feeling when you can't seem to get away from having those thoughts of her. She seems like the one woman you felt a connection with. Someone in whom you invested a part of yourself.

It's okay I understand.
Is this the first time youve felt something so strong or you have managed these situations before? Be honest or I won't be able to guide you.

 

[Going4it]

I can relate to you mate.

That horrible sinking feeling when you can't seem to get away from having those thoughts of her. She seems like the one woman you felt a connection with. Someone in whom you invested a part of yourself.

It's okay I understand.
Is this the first time youve felt something so strong or you have managed these situations before? Be honest or I won't be able to guide you.

This is the first time I've felt it this strong yes but I have gotten attatched to 2 other women throughout my lifetime. I'm 26 now and I really feel like theres time to change course but I don't no how to genuinely make this transition from ***** to confident. I've gotten laid several times but its never been like top shelf or anything like that. At max a 8 but that was back on my active duty days when I had the juice. I was the F'n man I was the leader everyone came too and well respected then I met this woman and my mind went crazy.

 

[resilient]

Ok, a few things you already identified are sensical ways to step forward and take care of yourself first as a man:

- Cut porn use
- Cut alcohol use
- Improve diet, eat lean and clean
- Keep hitting the gym sans juice
- Improve your social spheres: find friends in common interests. Make guy friends too. Guys you can play sports with and grab lunch with.
- Don't ever be a woman's emotional tampon. End calls and texts early if you sense yourself being used and not making active plans with them to hook up or whatever. Attention is your currency, so mind your time.
- Start making brief approaches at Starbucks, Panera Bread, grocery store. You need to overcome your fear of rejection stat.

 

[soulforge]

Hit the gym... eat and train the like a fuking beast!!


Your confidence will go through the roof.. you will gain respect from the guys and biches will love it..

Embrace the Iron!

 

[TheGambino]

Been there, I feel You bro. EXACT situation, it endured 6 years for one chick. 14th until 20th. I was fat too in those days. She always kept me on the line but she we hung out a lot and I blewed my chance with her When she was at my place several times. After that I kept being her emotional tampon until one day I declared my affection When she was laying on my shoulder in the car to be blowed off that she liked another Guy.

I even fought her Bf in a club drunk to wake up with a black eye. Yeah Dude... been f8cked up.

I tried to cut the feeling by hitting the gym and finally I dated more chicks When I lost Some weight. I dated a dime at a point that got me in oneitis When I found This forum that saved me.

My advice
Stay active on the forum, read the Dj bible.
Focus on other women
Hit the gym

She is NOT special. You Will laugh about iT When You start dating new women.

I did iT. I finally dated her sister and made out several times and f8cked her best friend.

I had her at my home last year (shes in a ltr) we cuddled and tried to escalate. She rejected me again but I laughed iT off and ended our little reunion.

Focus on yourself and forget about her asap. Pm me if You want more guidance.

I got one of my girls next to me on the couch while watching Skyfall, You can do iT.

I feel You.

 

[Going4it]

Tell her off... but it won't make you feel better. Probably worse.

I just want to walk away and ignore all the calls. Don't even want to talk

 

[Going4it]

Hit the gym... eat and train the like a fuking beast!!


Your confidence will go through the roof.. you will gain respect from the guys and biches will love it..

Embrace the Iron!

Thats what I'm doing now. I just left the gym actually. I hit the weights 3 days a week and spar in Muay Thai for 2. I feel at peace here and I feel like I have to come everyday now to relieve stress. Its the inbetween time that kills me like right before sleep or when I'm home alone.

 

[Meektrop]

I just want to walk away and ignore all the calls. Don't even want to talk

Even better, I thought you were about to text her from your first post.

 

[Going4it]

Even better, I thought you were about to text her from your first post.

Nope

 

[Glassguy]

I just want to walk away and ignore all the calls. Don't even want to talk

Then that's what you do. That's what guys do that have tons of self respect. Will it p!ss her off? Who cares. Will she get her feelings hurt and be mad when her emotional tampon isn't there for her? Who cares.

Do what you want and need to do for you.

"Going4it......why aren't you responding to my texts and calls?"

You: "sorry hun. I need to hit the dating scene and I think all that time spent as just friends trying to solve your love life is just weighing me down. Take care."

It's THAT easy. Stop being this chicks guy friend. Not only is it emotionally draining, but I guarantee you're missing other opportunities with chicks that are available because your wasting time on this one.

As the Nike slogan says......just do it.

And don't worry about her. She will pull in another beta orbiter to take your place in no time. Nothing personal, just the way it is.

I have so much self respect and self worth, that very few chicks that aren't sexually interested in me get any of my time or attention. Those that do are either on standby or just long term actual friends or wives/LTR with one of my buddies. That's it. Sexually interested or move on.

 

[sph21]

My advice
Stay active on the forum, read the Dj bible.
Focus on other women
Hit the gym

She is NOT special. You Will laugh about iT When You start dating new women.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Thats what I'm doing now. I just left the gym actually. I hit the weights 3 days a week and spar in Muay Thai for 2. I feel at peace here and I feel like I have to come everyday now to relieve stress. Its the inbetween time that kills me like right before sleep or when I'm home alone.

I think we've all been in your place at various levels.

Your first step is to go 100% NC with her--period. No F-ing excuses. Second, start watching some Tony Robbins videos on YouTube and follow his advice. Third, get some game. Watch and read from Corey Wayne, David DeAngelo, and Doc Love. All good in their own way. Forth, Cut the porn and alcohol and become a mad man at the gym. Good place to meet guys to hang out with too. Hire a personal trainer for a session or two so you don't waste your time. Boxing and MMA is a great way to reduce stress and get in shape. Five, every night look in the mirror and ask, What did I do to get better today? Start today and develop momentum.

Good luck.

 

[Urbanyst]

You need to focus more on your finances and your health.

Poor diet.. yet you have time to listen to this bimbo babble all day about her Ex? Get your priorities in order bro. Start building a life of purpose so that you don't go down the rabbit hole when the low quality trash in today's market takes a big steaming dump on your face every once in a while (and they will).

Also, never be an orbiter. Time is better spent masturbating.

 

[rayv12]

The problem here is you!

Girls like to keep orbiters ( aka you ) we all have been there until we realized it. Take it as a lesson.
She acted how she should to a orbiter all this time.

Relax! read the bible, workout and fix your sh!t up and start dating other chicks( more than one or don't do it at all)
Let this one go! and appreciate her( in your fu#king mind! ) for letting you know where you fu@ked up.

 

[Going4it]

Then that's what you do. That's what guys do that have tons of self respect. Will it p!ss her off? Who cares. Will she get her feelings hurt and be mad when her emotional tampon isn't there for her? Who cares.

Do what you want and need to do for you.

"Going4it......why aren't you responding to my texts and calls?"

You: "sorry hun. I need to hit the dating scene and I think all that time spent as just friends trying to solve your love life is just weighing me down. Take care."

It's THAT easy. Stop being this chicks guy friend. Not only is it emotionally draining, but I guarantee you're missing other opportunities with chicks that are available because your wasting time on this one.

As the Nike slogan says......just do it.

And don't worry about her. She will pull in another beta orbiter to take your place in no time. Nothing personal, just the way it is.

I have so much self respect and self worth, that very few chicks that aren't sexually interested in me get any of my time or attention. Those that do are either on standby or just long term actual friends or wives/LTR with one of my buddies. That's it. Sexually interested or move on.

Yeah I agree with you and I won't lie a part if me wants to be wanted by her and I still want to **** her. Its like I came all this way for nothing.

 

[@Jonanthony]

The Bills lost 4 superbowls straight... Atlanta lost the unloseable game...
Point is dude everyone loses , we all have regrets...but life goes on, we all strike out but as per trading u reached a stop loss... No more investment...(.unless she ramps up contact ost NC then escalate this shlt to at least fb status,but not likely and risky).....Jon

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah I agree with you and I won't lie a part if me wants to be wanted by her and I still want to **** her. Its like I came all this way for nothing.

You say that you still want to fvck her, but lets be honest.....you never did fvck her. You were just a guy friend to complain to when the man she was really fvcking was being alpha and not giving two sh!ts about her.

Move on. Stop acting like a beta. Life goes on, trust me.

 

[RangerMIke]

@soulforge and @resilient are correct. Focus on yourself and stop thinking about this chick.

The reason you lock onto a chick like this is genetic and chemistry... if men were not pre-disposed to loyalty and bonding then the human race would have died out eons ago. Women are pre-disposed to connecting with as many people that can help her as possible, this is her survival mechanism. Chicks really don't mean to have dudes they do not want to fvck fall for them.

She's nice to you and you feel good (endorphin) when you are around her, this mixes with testosterone and your fvcking XY mix causes you to bond... which is strengthened when you start fantasizing about you two together. You bond to the FANTASY....

You have to stop thinking about her... and don't do this sh!t again. Next chick you meet you have to keep telling yourself there is NOTHING special about her... she is no different from any other chick you've ever met. The best way to do this is to have more than one girl in your life you are thinking about... that why you won't find yourself thinking only about one of them.

Be the best man you can be... this will allow you to attract as many chicks as possible. Date lots of girls and this won't happen to you again.