Texting (Why You Shouldn't)

[EyeBRollin]

It's popping up on a lot of threads, particularly when offering advice to newer members. Some of the more established DJs and relationship gurus advise against it, citing basic sales principles. Why shouldn't you text?

It's really about the numbers and maximizing efficiency. The gurus that advocate against it are taking a sales approach, which means everything comes down to spending as much face to face time in front of a qualified buyer as possible. People are more likely to buy a product in person than over the phone, because it is much harder to dismiss something that is right in front of you.

You are the product. Your time and attention are currency.

This is true with dating. Texting is not an automatic disqualifier, but as many have already experienced, it doesn't actually increase your chance of sleeping with your prospect. It can (and often does) only hurt your chances. You aren't bedding any more women due to "text game" than you wouldn't already get. No woman has ever slept with a guy because he was great at texting. (If she has, show me.) In fact, you spend more time chit chatting it up with women who may have no intention of actually going out with you.

Save the phone for setting dates. If she can only get your attention in person, she'll be forced to either drop you, or go out with you.

As for interactions between dates, remember that scarcity increases value. She cannot miss you if she doesn't have the space to do so. Try ghosting in between dates and you'll notice her all over you the next time she goes out with you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Every LDR

We don't do those.

 

[cola]

I don't think you grasp how many males are pursuing any one given female in 2017.
These days a girl who is a 6 literally has 100 men messaging her on facebook, Instagram, Tinder & Snapchat on a weekly basis.

You have to text more frequently now until
you get the lay. Good text game separates you from the masses.
Once she has invested In you by giving you sex then you can tone down on the texting or switch over to the "text only to set up meetings" method.
Not before though.

 

[Dingo]

I think it is about finding that balance... Everybody is different.

I can more easily build rapport with women buy being sociable in texting. I find it so much easier to manipulate... create the mood by purposely texting in certain ways... Zero chance at slipping up, getting embarrassed or being put on the spot during a face to face or phone conversation.

I think if you don't overdo it your OK....

 

[EyeBRollin]

I don't think you grasp how many males are pursuing any one given female in 2017.
These days a girl who is a 6 literally has 100 men messaging her on facebook, Instagram, Tinder & Snapchat on a weekly basis.

You have to text more frequently now until
you get the lay. Good text game separates you from the masses.
Once she has invested In you by giving you sex then you can tone down on the texting.

If she's got 100 messages, so why do you want to be one of those 100? The point is, get the date. If she won't go out with you, why are you wasting time in a texting battle with her orbiters?

The way to separate yourself is to be direct and ask her out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

thats fine but it does work to get laid, even if you dont commit. guys do long distance seductions, including yours truly. Its actually impossible to do any other way, therefore proof that you can seduce via text.

Waste of time unless you get the lay right there on vacation, or you dated this chick in the past and she moved. Why you messaging someone 1000 miles away?

 

[Thorninmyside]

Gaming tools are like advertising strategies: you might like how it was done in the past and have an attachment to it, but to some extent you have to get into her space, but on your terms. Girls look at a phone for 1/3 of their day. That does mean having a good text game. 2007 dating is different to 2017 dating. Men and women might not have changed much, but the vehicles of contact are ever progressing and so must we. Text, but be better at it than Mr. AFC.

 

[cola]

If she's got 100 messages, so why do you want to be one of those 100? The point is, get the date. If she won't go out with you, why are you wasting time in a texting battle with her orbiters?

The way to separate yourself is to be direct and ask her out.

They are all asking her out bruh.
Think about it from a woman's perspective.

Both are equal in looks and status
Guy A: got her phone number 4 days ago. He has texted her 2x just asking how's her day and asking a couple well thought out questions about her as a person & made her smile.

Guy B: got her number 4 days ago as well. Hasn't sent a single text message.

The both ask her to dinner Saturday evening. She has no plans.

Who do you think she will choose?
Remember they are both equal In looks and status.

 

[Solomon]

OP must be dealing with women who are 45+

While I think a 5 minute phone call does more than a week of texting most young women might find it "odd" these are the times we live in

 

[EyeBRollin]

They are all asking her out bruh.
Think about it from a woman's perspective.

Both are equal in looks and status

Both are never equal, so that's a fallacy right there.

Guy A: got her phone number 4 days ago. He has texted her 2x just asking how's her day and asking a couple well thought out questions about her as a person & made her smile.

Guy B: got her number 4 days ago as well. Hasn't sent a single text message.

The both ask her to dinner Saturday evening. She has no plans.

Who do you think she will choose?
Remember they are both equal In looks and status.

She most likely chooses Guy B. Guy A comes off as weaker, for trying to "win" her. Guy B is mysterious. Silence is more powerful.

But realistically, it's pointless to think about because it could come down to she wanted italian food more than mexican food that day. Or she felt like driving 15 minutes instead of 35 minutes. That's why nothing is ever equal.

Your premise that Guy A has a better shot is flawed, because it is based on logic. If Guy A gives her more attention, that she will "reward" him with the date. Women don't operate like that.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Shifting the goal posts. The point is, we are talking about texting to build rapport, create attraction, and get sex. It does happen.

No, it's a fallacious argument. It's like saying you know people who lived together before getting married that are still married. Yes, it can happen but statistically they are less likely to last. We don't even discuss long distance relationships on here because they are a waste of time and money. DJ's have better things to do then try to game chicks 1000 miles away.

But back to the point. Texting does not create attraction. Quite the opposite actually.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Its not fallacious because you specifically denied that texting could be used to get sex and I gave an example.

"No woman has ever slept with a guy because he was great at texting. (If she has, show me.)"

Example: LDR, long distance seduction etc. Literally sleeping with you based on your texting.

She still doesn't sleep with you based on the texting, as the condition for sleeping with you will be physical attraction.

 

[zekko]

Shifting the goal posts. The point is, we are talking about texting to build rapport, create attraction, and get sex. It does happen.

I agree texting can build rapport. These kinds of games (like never text her) are why girls end up with the other guy. The other guy, who is, you know, not afraid to communicate with her?

Now if you don't like to text, don't. Chances are you won't be good at it anyway. But not to do it just as some sort of "game" strategy seems silly.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She would never even have seen me in person before. There are many other guys in her proximity. Surely you must understand that she would not even meet with me to begin with, a random person from the internet, unless there was Rapport built via texting.

That's not true at all. Not even close.

I can't even count how many chicks I've had first dates with that I sent no more than 5 messages to on dating sites, and didn't even have their phone number. There's really no science to it.

She's going to meet up with you if she has interest. No amount of texting changes that.

 

[EyeBRollin]

These kinds of games (like never text her) are why girls end up with the other guy. The other guy, who is, you know, not afraid to communicate with her?

Why do you care if she chooses someone else? She chose him because she had higher interest level in him, not because he texted her more often.

 

[TheProspect]

Learn how to text effectively and you wouldn't feel the need to create a thread dismissing it altogether. This isn't 2005, technology has evolved and has greatly modified the behaviour of young girls since then.

And it's not so black and white. Each approach (calling and/or minimizing texting to setting up dates vs. occasional texting) will vary in effectiveness, depending on the girl. Being fluid in your style will help you gauge which approach would be best on a situation-by-situation basis. No one approach works best on every girl, what works on one will fail on another.

Whether you're on the "the phone is to set up dates" side or the "occasionally texting is okay" side, it would be more beneficial to be a little open-minded with others methods. They both work as both arguments are backed up by anecdotes on both sides. No point being stubborn and dismissing the other side seeing as its working for them, no matter what side you're on.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The point is, it's not about what the girl likes (or says she likes). It's about your frame. Texting because everyone else is doing it / expectation from women is submitting to their frame, and doesn't empirically improve your chances of getting in her pants. We have mountains of data that has no correlation. Women are illogical.

For the newbies, it's easier to be successful by abstaining from texting, then trying to enter the arena of texting these chicks for pointless conversation in hope that she will go out with you. She will go out with you if she wants to, whether you text her or not. My argument in the OP is that you save time and effort by cutting it out altogether. And I guarentee your close rate is substantially higher (this is proven in sales) when you sell in person.

 

[Dingo]

Learn how to text effectively and you wouldn't feel the need to create a thread dismissing it altogether. This isn't 2005, technology has evolved and has greatly modified the behaviour of young girls since then.

And it's not so black and white. Each approach (calling and/or minimizing texting to setting up dates vs. occasional texting) will vary in effectiveness, depending on the girl. Being fluid in your style will help you gauge which approach would be best on a situation-by-situation basis. No one approach works best on every girl, what works on one will fail on another.

Whether you're on the "the phone is to set up dates" side or the "occasionally texting is okay" side, it would be more beneficial to be a little open-minded with others methods. They both work as both arguments are backed up by anecdotes on both sides. No point being stubborn and dismissing the other side seeing as its working for them, no matter what side you're on.

This...

 

[Trump]

I don't think you grasp how many males are pursuing any one given female in 2017.

These days a girl who is a 6 literally has 100 men messaging her on facebook, Instagram, Tinder & Snapchat on a weekly basis.

You have to text more frequently now until
you get the lay. Good text game separates you from the masses.
Once she has invested In you by giving you sex

I wouldn't agree with that last sentence bro. Sex doesn't mean investment for a woman in 2017. A woman uses sex to get what she wants from a man. Once he can no longer give her what she wants, she will leave in a heartbeat and crush him at the same time.

Remember men, sex is a TOOL for a woman to achieve her AGENDA, not an act of love.

 

[bigneil]

If my research into my most successful seduction is any indication:

1) The woman should initiate twice as much as the man.
2) The man should not initiate more than twice a week.
3) Texting every other day is close to ideal.
4) Any sudden change in her texting indicates a major change in her life.

Example

Monday
You: Want to meet for dinner at X on Tuesday?
Her: Ok!

Tuesday
Her: I'm on my way to X love!
You: See you soon!

Wednesday
Her: I had a great time at X last night!
You: So did I. I'll plan Y.

(four day absence)

In this example, we see several key concepts.

1) She initiated twice as often.
2) He did not send date reminders.
3) She said thank you for the last date before he planned the next.
4) You only texted every other day roughly.

(as the romance increases this will happen on weekends versus weekdays)