Anyone ever get tired of starting over again and again?

[exhausted]

Does anyone else just ever get tired of having to start over and getting to know a girl and sift through her red flags, her history, her family, her friends and her orbiters ? Just going through all that bull**** again is exhausting to think about.
The benefit of having a long-term relationship is building a bond and a friendship through that loving relationship and it is hard to let it go, however it is much more difficult to start a new with somebody else who will probably just disappoint you with her red flags and will end the connection early on.

I say if you were in your 20s find a girl who is just out of college yet to be divorced or have kids and have all that damage. However if you're in your late 30s then you're pretty much ****ed because any choice you have is a woman that's probably divorced with kids and a ****ty ex-husband u have to deal with. However if you can pull a girl in her late 20s Who is not damaged then congratulations. I am a week from 39 and dated a girl 26 to almost 30 with a kid , divorced and damaged beyond belief,( NPD princess syndrome). So any chance you have is a single girl with no kids mid to late 20s. That is the unicorn good luck


me, I got a German Shepherd instead.

 

[Fzatf]

Just got out of a 5 year relationship that I'm going to miss. I know what you mean about having to start over, but I look at it as inevitable to get what I want. I want a long term relationship with a woman who I love and who loves me back.

Am I going to give up because it's a hassle? No. But I'm taking a break from women until I feel ready to go at it again.

 

[exhausted]

Just got out of a 5 year relationship that I'm going to miss. I know what you mean about having to start over, but I look at it as inevitable to get what I want. I want a long term relationship with a woman who I love and who loves me back.

Am I going to give up because it's a hassle? No. But I'm taking a break from women until I feel ready to go at it again.

I literally just got back from the lake where I took my dog and I had a lady approached me and asked for my number. This is the third girl in the last month asking for my number or send me a message trying to get together. However I've declined or three just due to the fatigue of it all. So I can Relate to how you feel as well.

 

[Desdinova]

Does anyone else just ever get tired of having to start over and getting to know a girl and sift through her red flags, her history, her family, her friends and her orbiters ? Just going through all that bull**** again is exhausting to think about.

Yes, and that's why I quit putting a lot of effort into women. It's annoying and tiring. There are so many better things to focus time and energy on. Women are best left as side-projects.

 

[resilient]

Echoing the statements above. Dating can get exhausting once the red flags start stacking like a library of heavy books. It's only a matter of time before they all come crashing down

I think it's good to step back from overall game for a while and work on yourself. Have fun exploring various hobbies you've never tried out before or resume a passion you left half finished. It's a chance for the brain to reset from the focus of a LTR (or plate spinning) and learn new things about yourself you didn't realize you had the potential to do. For example, I bought an acoustic and electric guitar within the last month or so and I'm having a blast learning new techniques and how to read tabs everyday figuring out where everything is on the fret board daily while attending weekly lessons.

I've often heard many say when you're so wrapped up in creating an awesome life for yourself: looks, personality and finances - women pick up on this, are intrigued and want to find out more about you while you're not consumed with chasing them down first.

It's a form of quiet distinct level of confidence to be alone when it's absolutely necessary for your Don Juan journey.

I've had two potential plate opportunities lately too that I could escalate with, yet still feel exhausted from my last main plate ended sixty days ago. Breaks are a great time to grow and practice not being needy or an anti-challenge (if that was ever a problem). I have no shame admitting here that I'm still very co-dependent in LTRs, so I realize I have to work on becoming more independent before I can be ready and secure enough to handle a LTR.

 

[exhausted]

Yes, and that's why I quit putting a lot of effort into women. It's annoying and tiring. There are so many better things to focus time and energy on. Women are best left as side-projects.

Agreed, I just dont care to put the energy into the first dates and questions and fake interest and blah blah blah. I would rather lift, box, take my dog for hikes and watch movies. The problem, it would be nice to have a good lookin chick to watch movies with without having to go through all that nonsense.

I think everyone has a certain amount of energy.
I think I am at the end of mine

 

[exhausted]

Echoing the statements above. Dating can get exhausting once the red flags start stacking like a library of heavy books. It's only a matter of time before they all come crashing down

I think it's good to step back from overall game for a while and work on yourself. Have fun exploring various hobbies you've never tried out before or resume a passion you left half finished. It's a chance for the brain to reset from the focus of a LTR (or plate spinning) and learn new things about yourself you didn't realize you had the potential to do. For example, I bought an acoustic and electric guitar within the last month or so and I'm having a blast learning new techniques and how to read tabs everyday figuring out where everything is on the fret board daily while attending weekly lessons.

I've often heard many say when you're so wrapped up in creating an awesome life for yourself: looks, personality and finances - women pick up on this, are intrigued and want to find out more about you while you're not consumed with chasing them down first. It's quiet distinct level of confidence to be alone when it's necessary.

I've had two potential plate opportunities lately too that I could escalate with, yet still feel exhausted from my last main plate ended sixty days ago. Breaks are a great time to grow and practice not being needy or an anti-challenge (if that was ever a problem). I have no shame admitting here that I'm still very co-dependent in LTRs, so I realize I have to work on becoming more independent before I can be ready and secure enough to handle a LTR.

Yes makes sense. I am at the point though where the only thing missing is a companion. I will be 39 next week, my son, who i raised myself, just finished high school, he will be going to college here in town and commuting to make it easier. I lift, box, enjoy my dog, like my job, have enough money to do whatever I want, the only thing missing is a companion and life partner. Not to sound needy or anything, but it is much more enjoyable to hit the movies and dinner and drinks with a companion/gf/life mate or what have you rather than alone. I went to the movies alone for years until this last ltr (unless it was something my son could watch) that **** is rough after awile.

I think what I feel I have missed out on, and yearned for is a life long partner to connect with and grow with through all of life. I have done everything on my own pretty much, despite a few ltr's, no marriage or full family. That has been a bit rough.

My son played sports growing up, try sitting at the games alone for 14 years while everyone around you has a family. Of course I did coach a bit which lifted that hurt some.

I wish everyday I didnt have an urge or need for that companionship. Honestly I wish my sex drive would dry up completely as well....whats the point.

 

[lizardking82]

LOL I am 23 and I get tired of this **** already. I mean, just want someone to share my day with and I think that would boost my motivation quite a lot, for different things. On the other hand, I think being alone makes you look inside yourself to fulfill that level of motivation and desire to do well.

 

[exhausted]

LOL I am 23 and I get tired of this **** already. I mean, just want someone to share my day with and I think that would boost my motivation quite a lot, for different things. On the other hand, I think being alone makes you look inside yourself to fulfill that level of motivation and desire to do well.

23 is young, dont rush it. get your degree, build your resume and put money in the bank if by the grace of God you find a fantastic girl then hold onto her and develop a relationship. If not just catch and release and remember you are 23, most girls that age in todays world are not ready to be wives and put a man and family first. I think 28 is the best age for that, unless a girl is strangely more mature than that.

 

[ubercat]

There should b a middle path guys. If I m screening my LTRs have all lasted w years plus. By that time u ve earned a break

 

[Solomon]

This thread is depressing yet true, I'm approaching my mid 30's right now i'm focus on increasing my wealth, getting back into shape, I could honestly care less about bitcahez

 

[harry56]

There should b a middle path guys. If I m screening my LTRs have all lasted w years plus. By that time u ve earned a break

บาคาร่า

 

[exhausted]

I enjoy the breaks from women. When a relationship ends, I don't think about "starting over." There's no need to have a woman in your life unless you're ready. Women are the ones who can't seem to live without a man. Me, I like the down time. Then I get restless and start pursuing.

That is a good point , women are truly the ones that can not be without a man, as you are breaking up with them they always say they dont need a man, however what has been going on is they have an orbiter around on standby as they knew they fucccked up and were on their way out so they have that guy around in the works. Or they get a new one in 9 days.

 

[exhausted]

Yep, at the very least they know they have the power to snag a man for a ONS. Now, that is not generally satisfying enough for a woman no matter what they tell us. If she knew she could find a perfect long term mate right away, she'd feel more secure.

Absolutley. That is why they are always sneaking bwhind our backs always insecure looking to have a guy on standby. I refise to ever be that scumbag standby guy.

 

[Dingo]

"I got a German Shepherd instead."

German shepherds are cool... I miss my dogs...

 

[exhausted]

"I got a German Shepherd instead."

German shepherds are cool... I miss my dogs...

Yep, can't count on a woman.

Dogs are a great choice.

 

[Reykhel]

There should b a middle path guys.

Definitely. As with everything in life one needs to find a middle path.

I find that if I spend too much time with a woman, as is the case when you are in a LTR, I get to a point where
I'm craving my alone time and own space.

.....but then going to the other extreme when one has to much space, loneliness can start to tug away at one's coat tails.....just a
gentle reminder. You're more aware of the spaces.

The middle ground is well managed plate spinning in my opinion. Time management is key.

 

[exhausted]

Definitely. As with everything in life one needs to find a middle path.

I find that if I spend too much time with a woman, as is the case when you are in a LTR, I get to a point where
I'm craving my alone time and own space.

.....but then going to the other extreme when one has to much space, loneliness can start to tug away at one's coat tails.....just a
gentle reminder. You're more aware of the spaces.

The middle ground is well managed plate spinning in my opinion. Time management is key.

Good point.
Or a ltr where u love 40 mins apart and see each other 3x a week.
Sad these women Cant behave well enough for us to want them around everyday.
If they didnt have vaginas they would be useless. Ha.

 

[ZTIME]

Does anyone else just ever get tired of having to start over and getting to know a girl and sift through her red flags, her history, her family, her friends and her orbiters ? Just going through all that bull**** again is exhausting to think about.
The benefit of having a long-term relationship is building a bond and a friendship through that loving relationship and it is hard to let it go, however it is much more difficult to start a new with somebody else who will probably just disappoint you with her red flags and will end the connection early on.

I say if you were in your 20s find a girl who is just out of college yet to be divorced or have kids and have all that damage. However if you're in your late 30s then you're pretty much ****ed because any choice you have is a woman that's probably divorced with kids and a ****ty ex-husband u have to deal with. However if you can pull a girl in her late 20s Who is not damaged then congratulations. I am a week from 39 and dated a girl 26 to almost 30 with a kid , divorced and damaged beyond belief,( NPD princess syndrome). So any chance you have is a single girl with no kids mid to late 20s. That is the unicorn good luck


me, I got a German Shepherd instead.

The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

Maybe in this case expecting the same result in a pseudo ground hog day kind of way.

Perhaps you're screening for the next LTR instead of the next ONS. Perhaps you're looking for the new future Mrs exhausted.

One should never start over when they have opportunity to begin a new.

We shop for new fishing poles to catch bigger fish, new books to absorb new knowledge, new tools to complete bigger projects, yet we believe nothing new exists when it comes to personal relations.

When we expect the same outcome, we create the same outcome.

 

[wjh]

I'm hopeful that when I am open to any sort of LTR that I won't allow myself to settle. That's really my only goal right now, just feeling like that person is actually right for me and being confident with the decision. If I'm not settling in terms of what I think is really important, then meeting her family or dealing with some light baggage won't be a big deal. I'm kind of brutal to date right now though because I could give two ****s about someone who isn't that. I think knowing what you want and what you need is helpful.

OP: do you have a lot of male friends or a social group of some kind? That might help with companionship and watching movies and stuff. I'm working on developing that aspect of my life. Having support and people in your life that you can do simple fun things with is huge (and you can meet other people through them and so on). I'm slowly but surely joining things like an MMA gym or places like meetup.com to find other guys, that part of my life really broke down in my marriage and I think it's critical to being psychologically healthy and able to maintain some balance when you are dating.