Stop enabling single parent women

[Dr. Reed]

I agree with about 85% of what you say. I do believe that there are good women in their late 20's....At some point I will address mosyt of your points. I am supposed to be working on my book and not posting here on the forum,. LOL.

Desdinova: "It takes at least one year to know if she's worthy of exclusivity. Sometimes it takes longer especially if there are some things rubbing you the wrong way. If she's still a good woman after five years, you're probably safe."

I address this issue in my second chapter: 2 months of initial screening as a member of my rotation are the beginning. I do not commit to anyone during that period and I do not lie.

If we become exclusive, then you must get what I call the Golden Year. One full year of pretty much perfect behavior. No read flags, no arguing (I had one small argument at the 9 month mark). You must get the GYear before your even consider marriage (for those of you that want marriage).

Desdinova: "After two months, you are REQUIRED to give her the status as a GF. This is not an option. She will leave if you attempt to string her along for more than two months"

"Sally" (pseudonym of my wife) broke up with me at the 5 week then the 7 week mark. She posted massive letters on my bathroom mirror. Each time I had her back within 48 hours.

At the eight week mark she knocked on my door 5 minutes after another gal left (we had sex) and she said "I don't care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you."

That is when I stopped seeing other women.

In regards to "Anti- Dump." Based upon what I see on the main forum here, ALL of these kids need to read and follow Anti Dump. His advice is timeless.

I use much of his material and structure with one important exception: Anti Dump believed that high interest had to be there from day one, it cannot be "built." I disagree strongly. I believe that your behavior and actions can raise (or lower) interest level. That is the primary thesis of my theory. There is still a lot of great material from AD, I would keep it.

I need to clear up one extremely important point. My book is for men who still have hope for a successful marriage and family. Desdinova, you and several other posters on this board are wise and experienced men who have 100% opted out from marriage and traditional male role models.

You, and men like you are smart, well educated and I assume successful in other aspect of life. You prove my point that our society has created a legal, social, and moral climate where the best and brightest NEVER WANT TO MARRY AND START FAMILIES. It is very basic rational actor modelling. You do what you do because your understand what is going on. It is absolutely necessary that people understand why men are opting out.

That is why I want to do an interview of you and 4 other members of this board and I would like to include it in my book. There will of course be no statistical analysis, but what I hope to prove is that a future study would in fact apply the metrics to a larger group of men.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Desdinova: The problem with having sex with multiple women who ARE NOT single moms is that you're potentially fvcking them up to the point where they're too damaged to become good companions. It doesn't take much to damage a woman to that point. If you fvck her physically AND emotionally and then throw her away, she's ruined for all the others who try to wife her up after you."

I am not out to **** up anyone. All the women I date are excellent prospects. They are selected out for THEIR BEHAVIOR. They cancel dates, argue, disrespect, nag, deny intimacy.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Taiyu: "So any time somebody starts off with "We need to do more/less X otherwise society will break!" I always question their motives, and whether they themselves know their own motives."

Basic Political Economy will tell you that the deficit will crush us. No one is talking about it because we just keep heaping dibt upon debt hopping that our children will figure out how to solve the crisis.

But of course there will be no children, not from successful men and undatable successful women. There will be a few fat diabetic cheesy poof kids, but they will be too unhealthy to work and will be on Medicaid.

I don't have time to write an article, but here is a decent overview.

The Cliff's Notes Version is We are ****ed.

https://www.thebalance.com/the-u-s-debt-and-how-it-got-so-big-3305778

 

[The Duke]

Dr. Reed, you have a lot of knowledge....how many women have you been with?

 

[Dr. Reed]

Do you count handjobs and blow jobs? I know some of the kids today do not. I do.....86

 

[Desdinova]

Desdinova, you and several other posters on this board are wise and experienced men who have 100% opted out from marriage and traditional male role models.

I have opted out of marriage, but I have no opted out of having a successful LTR. I've been working on finding the recipe for as long as I've been here (14 years). I believe my high score theory is the best knowledge for a man to have when he's looking for a long term partner. I see real life evidence of how it causes success as well as failure.

That is why I want to do an interview of you and 4 other members of this board and I would like to include it in my book.

Interview away.

I am not out to **** up anyone. All the women I date are excellent prospects.

I'm talking about the sole purpose of pumping and dumping just for sexual pleasure. If you're seeking a long term partner, that's a different ballgame.

 

[Dr. Reed]

So guys, I want to get some of my material ou

I have opted out of marriage, but I have no opted out of having a successful LTR. I've been working on finding the recipe for as long as I've been here (14 years). I believe my high score theory is the best knowledge for a man to have when he's looking for a long term partner. I see real life evidence of how it causes success as well as failure.



Interview away.


I'm talking about the sole purpose of pumping and dumping just for sexual pleasure. If you're seeking a long term partner, that's a different ballgame.

I need to first write the questions. This is, obviously not going to be a statistical analysis. This type of inquiry is done to determine if you have something worth pursuing. I do. All throughout my writings there is a dominant them, and that theme is that smart men are opting out of their traditional roles, and their behavior is rational. You have opted out.

I need to write my questions carefully to reduce survey bias, so give me a few days. You have some very interesting theories. I think that there are good women over 23, but these women usually come from other places, they are not native born.

 

[Dr. Reed]

I've been working on finding the recipe for as long as I've been here (14 years)

Yes, you were here when I was working through my system. You might want to adapt some of my material. For example, you claim that the night of the week does not matter. I have a good deal of evidence that it does work, especially with women who are very good looking.

They are used to men supplicating, and now they have this guy who won't take tyhem out on Saturday. Why? This has worked well for me repeatedly. It increases your value.

We disagree on some points, but there is a lot of solid theory in your system.

It needs more detail and explanation, but It might be something I would like to include in my book. You will get 100% credit if I use it. It would fit somewhere at the end of my second chapter.

 

[Desdinova]

I think that there are good women over 23, but these women usually come from other places, they are not native born.

I can agree with this statement. Generally when I'm referring to women, I'm referring to western women. The only experience I have with dating someone from a different country was a Japanese woman I dated briefly. She was (and still is) interested in me, but I decided not to pursue a relationship with her. Some of the things she liked were things I didn't like (and vice versa), and the cultural difference was actually a turn-off for me.

Even though a lot of them are cvnts and wh0res, I enjoy my western women. I can easily relate to them. Having a foreign slave is something that I'm not interested in. I'm much happier with a woman that I can share similar interests with. Not only that, I'm much happier with a woman who is willing to make her whole life mine. I currently have that, and I can say that I'm currently in what is likely the most successful relationship I've ever been in.

I started coming up with my High Score Theory a few years ago. All while I was developing it, I kept on trying to give women who didn't fit the mould a chance to prove me otherwise. They all failed. My current GF fits the mould perfectly, and I have absolutely no regrets at this time.

 

[Dr. Reed]

I can agree with this statement. Generally when I'm referring to women, I'm referring to western women. The only experience I have with dating someone from a different country was a Japanese woman I dated briefly. She was (and still is) interested in me, but I decided not to pursue a relationship with her. Some of the things she liked were things I didn't like (and vice versa), and the cultural difference was actually a turn-off for me.

Even though a lot of them are cvnts and wh0res, I enjoy my western women. I can easily relate to them. Having a foreign slave is something that I'm not interested in. I'm much happier with a woman that I can share similar interests with. Not only that, I'm much happier with a woman who is willing to make her whole life mine. I currently have that, and I can say that I'm currently in what is likely the most successful relationship I've ever been in.

I started coming up with my High Score Theory a few years ago. All while I was developing it, I kept on trying to give women who didn't fit the mould a chance to prove me otherwise. They all failed. My current GF fits the mould perfectly, and I have absolutely no regrets at this time.

Your theory is solid in several ways. Your larger thesis is correct: That thesis is that world and dating experience eventually makes women unsuitable for long term relationships.

The theory, as far as it goes, is sound, it needs, however, more detail, and that is why there are limits upon its ability to be generalized to all women.

Here is what it needs. Remember, I spent 2 decades training and teaching the 13th through 16th grade. There are some phenomena that your High Score Theory (HST) needs to take into account

You are correct. There is always going to be men who rank higher romantically, and time is an enemy. As that process unfolds, women become worse and worse. I Not only do they become updatable, by the mid 30's they often become just straight up crazy. Especially high achieving women. I was dating a gorgeous MudFud (MD/PhD) in NYC. Stunningly beautiful, but bat **** crazy. She was isolated and alone and it drove her to madness.

I have seen many, many women like her. Here are some direct quotes from these women, from my own experiences. “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.” "That's my paycheck, I clear $5k every 2 weeks."

These demands were all from highly successful professional women. Doctor’s, MBA’s, PhD’s, high earning nurses.

Several of them got into it with me wife, it was a text war back and forth "*****, *****, *****, *****, *****, *****. I was married for more than 4 years and still had exes contacting me. Apparently why wife had my old black book and called every women in it.

Here is what is going on...Des's theory notes that forces have a profound and long term affect on women. It is absolutely true, and I can back it up directly from experience teaching. I basically was able to directly observe women over a long period and see these change.

Women often come into college looking for an MRs (IE husband). They are serious, and pure. Why are they that way? Genetic programing, evolutionary biology...it is literally in their DNA. I have counceled many of thee women. I tell them the truth. My advice to them is to one, focus on their education and personal growth. Sure, date, but now too seriously at first. After 22 I tell them, put your focus on your career, but by the time you hit 25, you should be either seriously pursuing an LTR, or in one.

But of course, between now and then the angry lesbians with a castration complex sink their teeth in them and fill them full of feminist lies. Mind you feminism was a great ideoly 80-100 years ago. But it losts its way decades ago. I can tell you first hand that these women hate men. Trust me, that is what drives them. They are alone and miserable and want other people to be as well. Unfortunately, faculties are dominated byy tyhem.

The inundate them with their misandrous doctrines. You don't need a man. You certainly don't need a man until you are 35, and if you really must have a man, start looking at that age. These young women get brainwashed. They are taught to deny their genetic impulses, their innate desire to form strong and loving families. They are fed a pack of lies, andt there you have it.

The empirical truth is that the healthiest reproductive years are between 17 and 28. Unfortunately, if you bring up that point the feminists who run many programs now label you a rape fantasist and will drum you out of the academic world.

I will say this, young women are wising up to a degree They have everything and more that feminists fought for. They do not relate whatsoever to the ugly ugly picture that Universities paint men with.

Unfortunately, they are still buying into the focus on your career until you hit 35 nonsense.

"Science Proves Women Are Superior To Men (Jensen, 2015)"

“Women have moved from naturally complementary, to competitive, to conquering the men in their lives” (Waters, 2011).

This transition has been described as a “New Girl Order” (Hymowitz, 2007).

In a 2011 article, Lazerus explains “Why Women Are the Superior Gender.” In a break down of nine critical measures of success, Lazerus concludes that women are superior in nearly every way. In “a true battle of the sexes, the smart move would be to bet on the women.” “Even narrow-minded, conservative misogynists can't ignore the facts all the time.”

After 4 -5 years of these lies it should be no surprise that we are producing women that are undatable.

OK, so now, add this spin to Desdinovas' High Score Theory and it is easy to understand why things are as they are.

 

[Dr. Reed]

I can agree with this statement. Generally when I'm referring to women, I'm referring to western women. The only experience I have with dating someone from a different country was a Japanese woman I dated briefly. She was (and still is) interested in me, but I decided not to pursue a relationship with her. Some of the things she liked were things I didn't like (and vice versa), and the cultural difference was actually a turn-off for me.

Even though a lot of them are cvnts and wh0res, I enjoy my western women. I can easily relate to them. Having a foreign slave is something that I'm not interested in. I'm much happier with a woman that I can share similar interests with. Not only that, I'm much happier with a woman who is willing to make her whole life mine. I currently have that, and I can say that I'm currently in what is likely the most successful relationship I've ever been in.

I started coming up with my High Score Theory a few years ago. All while I was developing it, I kept on trying to give women who didn't fit the mould a chance to prove me otherwise. They all failed. My current GF fits the mould perfectly, and I have absolutely no regrets at this time.

Japanese gals are nuts. Ask me how I know.

 

[Desdinova]

OK, so now, add this spin to Desdinovas' High Score Theory and it is easy to understand why things are as they are.

I'm not sure what you've added here...

Unfortunately, they are still buying into the focus on your career until you hit 35 nonsense.

by the mid 30's they often become just straight up crazy. Especially high achieving women.

Is this what you've added?

By the time (childless) women hit age 35, they're not only ruined by the c0ck carousel they've been riding, but their biological clocks are ticking loudly. They become desperate for a man to impregnate them before it's too late.

There's not much to ponder here. She has become jaded from interacting with all the low quality men in comparison to the one sitting at the top of her list. Her list is filled with men and the ones at or closer to the top have extremely high scores. And then some new guy comes along, thinking she's a great woman because she has a career as a fvcking lawyer or some 5hit. In return, he gets sex, but he does not get her total dedication because that guy at the top was still better in every way. She may temporarily give him a child until she feels she no longer needs him.

High score theory still applies. The thing making them crazy is their biological clock, their married peers and siblings who have children, and their inability to find a "good man". The last one is the only part of High Score Theory that applies here. The rest is their thoughts, fantasies, and hormones as they approach menopause.

The thing that is a great mystery to me is what happens to women after menopause because I had no desire to date senior citizens. I believe that menopause can actually change a woman and possibly even make High Score Theory irrelevant. The decline of estrogen in a woman's body seemingly makes women become more logical. I've known post-menopause women who have found a new man to be forever infatuated with. I have to wonder if menopause can be a woman's "reset" button. I may not know the answer for a few decades, but that's fine by me. Most men don't want to fvck grannies, myself included. If I stay with my GF until she's done menopause, then I may have my answer. Until then, I'm fine with it being a mystery.

As far as a woman being completely useless for long term purposes, I've deemed age 27 to be the end of the line. I know you won't agree with that number, but that's when things really change for women. Their looks start going downhill and they begin to worry about approaching 30.

With regards to High Score Theory and foreign women raised with good values, I believe it still applies. They may not be as evident about the man at the top, but he's still there. However, her morals have been pounded into her head which has a great effect on her emotions. She knows she's supposed be dedicated to her current man, so she stays with him even though he may not be as good as one of her earlier encounters. Her emotional programming prevents her from straying.

This is what the marriage certificate used to be. It reinforced her emotional programming so she wouldn't stray. Today, it doesn't affect women. They don't have the emotional programming that allows a marriage certificate to have an impact on them. Instead, they've been taught to believe that they deserve better even when they're married.

 

[Dr. Reed]

EDIT: My earlier post was not clear.

It was written late and I didn't proof read, so lets just say I failed to explain myself. Lets try again.

I posit that your theory, as far as it goes, is good, but incomplete.

Your theory focuses upon the impact that men have upon a woman's psyche. Earlier men have, far and away, a greater impact upon a women and achieve a ranking/score that cannot be matched by later men. The result is woman who are un-marriageable.

If you date/romance/engage in an LTR with these women you will always pale in comparison to earlier, higher ranking men. It is basically a mathematical impossibility to match/displace earlier men with higher scores.

She will never love you as much as she loved/still loves earlier men.

Are we good so far?

What I am adding is that there are other forces at work here that exacerbate the problem. Women are driven by biology to mate and marry and by the age of 20. I have seen this first hand because they were my students. They come into college looking for an Mr.s (husband). It is in their DNA to do so.

Universities deprogram these women, hammering in again and again the belief that they have absolutely no need whatsoever for a man, children, of a family.

80% of academia is this way, and the other 20% keep their mouths shut because you can and will lose your job if you make these sorts of arguments (IE the truth).There is no tenure anymore. Angry feminists with a castration complex rule. Ask me how I know.

What I argue is that these forces have a profound impact upon young women. You need to factor in these powerful cultural forces in order for your theory to be complete.

Women are taught over and over again that their biological imperatives are the product of a misogynistic rape culture. They must smash the patriarchy and reject their biological drive to couple and reproduce. A strong woman has no need for a man, and anyone who argues that they do is evil, and trying to send them back to the middle ages.

If you really must couple and have a family, they posit, you can wait until the age of 35 to start looking for a man/sperm donor.

So, what we have here are two separate and powerful forces at play. One you point out, focuses upon the impact of early relationships, the impact of the first men upon a woman's' romantic world view.

I am arguing that a separate variable exacerbates this problem. Women are indoctrinated to pass over any and all men when they are young, to reject their biology, to ignore their DNA. Popeno has some excellent work on this topic.

These cultural forces have a profound negative impact, and if we combine these forces with your high score theory we will see that it is a perfect storm for stamping out any and all hope for successful LTR's.

 

[Dr. Reed]

The issue, IMO, is not with men who shag single moms. The issue boils down to the marriage certificate.

The whole idea that men are enabling single moms essentially rests on the idea that all or most of these single moms are winners in the custody/alimony/child support situation (hence have the financial aspect covered) and, in addition, have no shortage of men lining up to supplicate (the enablers, as you say), therefor they have little or no fear of being unfaithful, breaking up marriages, f*cking up kids lives, etc.

...Or something along those lines.

The real issue is with men who marry these b*tches to begin with. Turn them into moms to begin with. Then get dragged through the wringer by the courts and raped for child support, alimony, etc. TO BEGIN WITH.

The problem is the marriage certificate.

You want men to play a role in bettering society? Saving the kids? Forget the guys shagging single moms.... tell men not to get legally married TO BEGIN WITH.

I'm a single father who took full custody over my 5 year old daughter. Never married the mother. She behaved the same way you speak of about these single mothers. Difference is, I got full custody. I don't pay alimony. I don't pay child support. And this was all legally decided by a female judge. Every time I see my ex, she babbles about how she wants to "work things out, make it work, blah blah blah".

You know why? Because I didn't legally marry her.

The real answer to a better society; the real way men can take action to improve it all.... is to teach them not to partake in the whole marriage façade until these ridiculously unfair divorce laws CHANGE.

But this is just my opinion.....

Thoughtful reply, and it is heartening that you have full custody of your daughter, but the single mom phenomena happens regardless of whether or not you are married. It does not matter much if the single mother married the father, or did not.

What I want to know is how in the heck did you get custody of your daughter?????!!!! Please advise...

 

[Dr. Reed]

Sure it does, especially if you want to make the claim that these single moms will straighten themselves out if men stop enabling them...QUOTE]

I am absolutely NOT making that claim whatsoever. You absolutely do NOT need a marriage certificate to have children. Marriage and or marriage failure is a symptom, not a causal agent. It is the cart, not the horse.

Once they become single parent mothers it is too late. They are not and will not straighten out. I know that you guys dating single mothers do not want to here this, but it is the truth. Whether or not they are married, divorced, never married...there is no hope for them to straighten out, they are already, by definition, unsuitable. Marriage is not the engine driving the theory. The engine is the fact that women know that they can become single parents with absolutely no negative consequences. Economically, culturally, socially. Our society glorifies them, and there is a long line of men who will date them.

Our culture gives them financial incentives to be single mothers. They get welfare and many other types of free government benefits and they also get money and property from the father. We reward these woman in every way, including their glorification in the media.

Let's look at if from the perspective of evolutionary biology and psychology. For 99.9% of human existence, picking the man you opened your legs to was the most important decision women would ever have to make. A mistake meant sure sorrow, misery, death and selection from the gene pool. Not only did you need to pick well, you needed to maintain a good relationship with that man. You could not abuse him the way modern women and our society abuse modern men.

Then, of course, you would pass these qualities into the gene pool. The male contribution would be that he is strong, smart, courageous and all the things a man needed to be in a much more hostile world. That is why evolution increases the quality of humans. They have to be better. All those evolutionary forces are gone. Human beings will not improve. There is no incentive.

What we have today is the opposite. Single mothers are women who failed to choose wisely. They opened up their legs to the wrong guy and even if they did not they are not required to be kind, loving, loyal and nurturing. They are not required to treat a man decently, to keep their family together, to love and support their husbands.

In fact the opposite qualities are more valued in todays world.

If you want more evidence, look at Desdinovas' theory. It is evolutionarily sound. The first men in a woman's romantic and childbearing universe have a large natural advantage over all subsequent men.

Why is that? Because it ensures survival.


By the way....props on your custody of your child. Would you ever be interested in writing up a story? It would be something the man sphere would love to hear.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Amante: "I gained custody because my ex was the type who never earned anything. She always depended on others to take care of her; exactly the type you're rallying against here. Now she has nothing but the reality of living life on her own. She was too stupid to realize she didn't have the same benefit that all of her single mom friends had: a legal divorce."

I don't mean to derail my own thread, but this is a Unicorn. How in the heck did you pull it off? I am going back and looking at your threads.

I could not find any material on your custody...I did run across your texting advice, and it is pure platinum. Some of the best texting advice I have run across.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Amante: "I think the bigger issue has more to do with the bias in the system that empowers all of this "You go girl" mentality in modern society. And I say that because of my custody situation."

That is EXACTLY the problem. I need to get you the first chapter of my book. I basically explains with an avalanche of sources how and why things are the way they are.

 

[Desdinova]

The problem is the marriage certificate.

I don't see the marriage certificate as the problem. The problem is the inability of men being able to opt out of parenthood. Women can opt out either through abortion or adoption, but if she decides to keep it, the man becomes her second bank account.

I believe that men should have the option of opting out by the end of the first trimester. After that, they shouldn't have the choice of opting out. This alone could help at least some women take their pills or close their legs. Right now, women don't give a fvck because no matter what their decision is, they win.

 

[The Duke]

I don't see the marriage certificate as the problem. The problem is the inability of men being able to opt out of parenthood. Women can opt out either through abortion or adoption, but if she decides to keep it, the man becomes her second bank account.

Def agree with them using kids and baby daddies for a 2nd bank account. I see the majority of them doing so.

I've also seen men opt out. They don't ever see their kid and never pay child support. Its not opting out before the child is born, but its still a way to opt out after the child is born.

My sister has seen about $500 worth of child support in 14yrs. She spent $5000 on a lawyer and private detective trying to locate her baby daddy so they could garnish wages. As soon as they find him he changes jobs so they can't garnish wages. She finally got tired and quit worrying about it.

A friend of mine doesn't pay child support either. He rarely sees his kids. He basically has opted out!

 

[SteR]

I don't see the marriage certificate as the problem. The problem is the inability of men being able to opt out of parenthood. Women can opt out either through abortion or adoption, but if she decides to keep it, the man becomes her second bank account.

I believe that men should have the option of opting out by the end of the first trimester. After that, they shouldn't have the choice of opting out. This alone could help at least some women take their pills or close their legs. Right now, women don't give a fvck because no matter what their decision is, they win.

Well, you could argue that men do have their chance to opt out by a) not having sex or b) ensuring they're using adequate protection. Whether the baby is created instantly or 9 months later doesn't matter.. the fact is you both agreed to sex, so both have to shoulder the consequences. If a man chooses to trust in the women's birth control then it's still his choice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm on the guys side here, but it takes 2 people to create a baby.