THE MARGINALIZATION OF MODERN MEN

[zekko]

Yesterday 2 people died and my wife had to fire someone. Are you really going to put a ****y funny spin on something like that?

Not me. David DeAngelo

I remember hearing the exact same thing elsewhere actually: About as men we always listen with the idea of solving a problem, when all women want is someone to listen.

That's the main plot line of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

The blueprint for fathers and husbands has not changed in 70 years, and the world is much, much different today. Men today are not prepared for love and living. No one is teaching our men how to manage relationships with women so that they will love you, and stay in love with you. Getting a woman to love you, and stay in love with you is the only “power” the modern man has. The problem is, most men are not good at it.

Women fall out of love little by little, and the poor guy usually has no idea what happened when one day she files for divorce. In my years of counseling that has almost always been the pattern. There are a thousand signs, a hundred red flags, but he was unaware. Nearly every time I council a man after divorce, I have been able to document exactly where, when, and how this decline started.

Unfortunately, once a women falls out of love there is nothing you can do.

Its over.

The problem is the millennial generation today are often lacking resiliency and character. They are brought up on a diet of constant attention seeking, boredom, and instant gratification of the internet. As they have no sense of 'resistance' they are sucked into a banal two-dimensional life that lacks any meaning. How can this kind of man [homo digitas?'] provide a solid platform for a woman and a family? He is not so much self-centered, but lacking a self. He's been sucked into the vortex of the crowd.

As for marriage, if you're going to enter it, it would help to see it as a moral institution besides an economic partnership. Without this superstructure rising from the base, a lot of them are simply going to be over-run by the first marauders that come along.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

However, I had been exposed to cohabitation research and rational actor modeling as part of my academic training. Why do women stay with certain men, and not others? Why do couples divorce? These studies tend to be empirical (hard science driven by data) and utilize rational choice modeling taken from economics.
Fascinatingly, this material DID explain why women leave or stay. Women are making very rational decisions in regards to the choices our society offers them.
I used a great deal of this material as part of my statistical training and when I taught statistics. Charles Murray led me to David Popenoe which led me to Barbara Whitehead and the National Marriage Project. Their work made sense to me immediately, on a visceral level. . The problem is the decisions our society presents them with and the type men our society is producing.

Failure to Launch Syndrome

Yes, the problem is the mass of both men and women are thinking in these rational economic terms. This kind of individualism inherently undermines long term relationships, which are based on morality and culture. The mass mind, the modern mind, is based on self-interest.

Men need to reject this mass thought. Instead of conforming to the norm, they need to become excellent. They need to realize in their lives practical freedom and dignity, and thereby become the exceptions to the rule. They will then screen for an exceptional woman.

Any discourse written for the mass mind is a waste of time in my opinion. It has to be critical of the mass mind.... which is one thing 'red-pill' is. Yet the red-pill is itself individualist and modern [hyper-modern]; red-pillers find themselves below the 'city' in the catacombs. What's required is a wander in the countryside... to larger modes of thinking and being.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

That sort of thing has been done here before, though. I think Rollo Tomassi wrote a book.

@Dr. Reed , just for a point of reference, the "save the dying male" niche is a pretty crowded market. Hopefully you'll be able to leverage your creds to cut to the front of the line.

 

[ubercat]

I think one niche that isn't filled is red pill career coaching. I've seen it multiple workplaces The Sisterhood sticking together and women trying to Shame man in front of the group or otherwise exclude them. It seems to be their go to tactic. And I think the key is interactivity. You need a website with interactive exercises preferably video scenarios. The problem is even if guys assiduously read the book triggering the new behaviour in the situation is difficult.

 

[Dingo]

I could talk on this subject for hours.

I was reading a book a while ago about this very problem. The thing is: Even if feminists had a point, and there was an oppressive patriarchy that restricted them, what they fail to realise is it's not the modern generation. They don't realise that the boys growing up these days have no knowledge or understanding of what they're complaining about. In fact it's the complete opposite, as has already been said: Women are given every advantage and there's this idea of 'toxic' masculinity, that being a man in of itself is a negative thing.

Combine that with the abundance of porn/video games which can satisfy a man's needs without him having to step into reality, and it's no surprise that teenage kids fall into that trap. They know that they want sexual release, they have no masculine father figures to guide them and they see that the outside world caters to women, so I can only assume they take the path of least resistance and just turn to the world of porn/gaming.

What's funny is the women pushing this agenda don't see that they've actually completely fvcked themselves over. By trying to push this 'women first, men are bad' movement, they've neglected to see that they've crippled any chance of creating the men they truly desire.

Soon, and I think it's happening already, they'll see what a mistake they've made and this whole system will come crumbling down.

It really makes me mad to think it's come to this.

I honestly feel sorry for boys in this generation - they haven't got an easy road.

This is an interesting topic... worth discussing.... I'm 55 and see what this f'd up culture and specifically technology has done to this younger generation.

 

[Dr. Reed]

@Dr. Reed , just for a point of reference, the "save the dying male" niche is a pretty crowded market. Hopefully you'll be able to leverage your creds to cut to the front of the line.

True, but no one that I know of has my combination of skills and perspectives. My journey on this subject started after my first wife divorced me. When I tell it you will understand why my system is somewhat unique

I was a major bad boy, I was really bad (7 surgeries to my face alone from fighting in the bars) broken many bones since then even though I quit all drinking and drugs decades ago (was a martial arts competitor and instructor, I still teach). I one time I faced a mayhem charge for biting someone in a bar fight. Fortunately, the cops hated the guy I bit more than me.

When I was drinking and running the streets at night I scored constantly and had the hottest women. Especially in SF where there is a shortage of straight men. Women do love bad boys (as I explain when I look at evolutionary biology and psychology). However, by 25 I was drinking a minimum of 15 beers a day, smoking pot constantly and hard drugs on the weekend. I was a nasty, violent mess. One night I jumped on a cop car and bashed all the lights and windshields out. Today, ironically, I am a big law enforcement supporter, not then.

Soooo I had to change, COMPLETELY! I became a productive member of society, sober, honest and kind.

I thought I was set, clean, sober and in a PhD program. I used the tools of sobriety on women. HUGE MISTAKE. My first wife divorced me after 1 year sober. I was 100% honest and kind with women, the nicest guy you could ever meet. Well, my dating life sucked.

I was flabbergasted "how could this happen? I did everything I was supposed to do and living in a rat infested apartment in a frozen Ghetto basically, I hit bottom.

Unfortunately, women were not into me after my big change. That set me on my mission. I started reading literature from academics/psychiatrists/psychologists. These guys were COMPLETELY USELESS. Someone mentioned John Grey (Women are from different planets). He had one good idea, and that is in regard's to how women communicate and keep score. But for everything else he was terrible. That industry is absolutely horrible. They do not understand what motivates women and why the behave the way they do. It is, arguably, not their fault. In the liberal academic world would get run out of the university if you made an argument for love and seduction. They are studying the wrong things, they are trying to view the world in antiquity where yes, women were abused. But those days are loooong gone. Don't get me wrong if you need psychiatrc help the industry is strong, but not when it comes to women. Councilling is woprthelss. A woman who does not love you will not even bother to go. I went to one session with my first wife, and halfway through she said "screw this" and walked out.

Today, men are being abused. We know that, but much of society does not realize this fact and how it works. That is why I lay out my documentation as strongly as possible. It is the first step in the story and must be told

If you read my first chapter, the one I am posting up here on SS, you will see that I document this world. You wonder "why is he writing in an academic style?" I am, because my book will be challenged by academics. They will, out of the gate label me a misogynist with a rape fantasy.

It is imperative that I prove that there is a ton of material that demonstrates that our society is flawed. I know the constant references in text make it harder to read, but if I do not, others will dismiss my argument out of hand. I need those sources to back up my claim. My subsequent chapters will be much less formal. For the first chapter I must lay out the argue as strongly as possible need to document what is going on, and more importantly what to do about it.

What can men do? In our culture our only power is love IE high interest. The seduction community is very good when to comes to raising interest levels. love is the only power men have, and no one outside of the seduction community understand how to get women to love you. Even the seduction community is lacking because the principles to get women are abandoned after the lay. Ironically, if you want an LTR with a woman you should be using the seduction material.

So, my book is unique because it is grounded in empirical research. In my 3rd year of graduate school I started reading the cohabitation literature. Scholars like Charles Murray used rational actor models (taken from economics) to explain why it is rational for a woman to not marry the father of her first child, and how she can actually do better have 3 kids with 3 different guys. That is welfare, and according to Murrey, not marrying your husband is often a rational choice.

After that, I got into evolutionary psychology and biology. These fields are much more conservative than gender studied or traditional psychology. You will not lose tenure over a defensible economic model, even if it is not PC.

So, I integrated that material.

Also, one area of interest involves empowering men via spirituality and mediation. Spirituality and meditation will make you strong. very strong. Meditation clears all the crap out of my brain, gives me clarity and the strength to not let women run my emotions.

My book is practical. You will become stronger than you thought possible. You will know it, she will know it, and other women will know it.

Finally, I emphasize self improvement via Martial Arts and bodybuilding.

Hope I answered some questions, and God speed to all of you.

 

[Dr. Reed]

I think one niche that isn't filled is red pill career coaching. I've seen it multiple workplaces The Sisterhood sticking together and women trying to Shame man in front of the group or otherwise exclude them. It seems to be their go to tactic. And I think the key is interactivity. You need a website with interactive exercises preferably video scenarios. The problem is even if guys assiduously read the book triggering the new behaviour in the situation is difficult.

You are absolutely correct. Ultimately, my work is about that change.

I've wanted to do video tutorials. I made several MArts vids, and was going to utilize them in my web site. The guy I hired to help build it was a complete **** up. I paid him $1k and I should have just flushed the money down the toilette. I do have vids I made, but they were suppose to be practice vids for my work out/martial art programs. I am going to do a video explaining my Kardashian Glow opener on the gal (HB 8.5) I ran it on the tanning place. In fact, I explained to her last knight that I ran my Kardashian glow opener on her, and that I wanted to make a video if she was on board. After cursing me a bit (LOL) she agreed. I am going to coach/train her for free, and she is going to help with some of my videos. There is electric chemistry between us, but I am married and nearly 3 times her age. She is very pretty. You can confirm that fact if you see her FB page, but I cannot make her page public.

In regards to interactivity I wanted to create a forum. But that is down the line. My website went into the dustbin. I do very much want to build another website, but I have other projects I am working on. I have another web site for my coaching and human performance project that is nearly done.

In processing the information regarding my coaching I realized that the first thing I needed was to establish credibility. Not just for myself, but for men and society at large. Men who truly understand what is going on (the War against men) are a minority. Most men who were born into our faulty system cannot grasp the fact that they are living in the Matrix.
Men must understand this state of existence first, so the red pill (Knowledge, freedom, and the ugly truth of reality) must be the backbone of our work. It will give men "The Gift of Desperation" they need to change. The rest of my book is about that change.

 

[Dr. Reed]

I want to thank you all for your thoughtful comments. It seems that I am limited to 10 posts a day, so I want to get more of my first chapter posted so that I can get more of your feedback.

It is becoming clear that I need somewhere to post/publish my work as whole chapters. I am working on setting up a website so that can do so. I am working hard on my 2nd Chapter. The first chapter clarifies the fact that our society is making MASSIVE mistakes when it comes to preparing men for the future. Feminists, and their ilk dominate our educational, political, economic, legal, and moral universe.

Chapter 2 is a call to action. The first chapter sets up the problem, and the rest of the book lays out the solution. That, btw, is classic male logic...Here is the problem, and here is the solution. We are genetically programed to be that way. That is how we built civilizations, create political systems, make massive gains in technology, medicine etc.

If feminists are right, all we have done is destroy life. They then argue that we need to create bigger and stronger centralized governments that impinging upon our most fundamental rights as a human in order to protect women and children. The family must de disassembled and the state must step in to protect families from the evils of men.

I have documented this agenda and its evils in my first chapter. I have stuffed it full of quotes and references to clarify how tragically mistaken our culture has become. Men raised without fathers have markedly different life outcomes, emotional problems, jail, drug and alcohol problems, criminal behavior and an inability to create families of their own, the list goes on and on.

 

[SteR]

I want to thank you all for your thoughtful comments. It seems that I am limited to 10 posts a day, so I want to get more of my first chapter posted so that I can get more of your feedback.

It is becoming clear that I need somewhere to post/publish my work as whole chapters. I am working on setting up a website so that can do so. I am working hard on my 2nd Chapter. The first chapter clarifies the fact that our society is making MASSIVE mistakes when it comes to preparing men for the future. Feminists, and their ilk dominate our educational, political, economic, legal, and moral universe.

Chapter 2 is a call to action. The first chapter sets up the problem, and the rest of the book lays out the solution. That, btw, is classic male logic...Here is the problem, and here is the solution. We are genetically programed to be that way. That is how we built civilizations, create political systems, make massive gains in technology, medicine etc.

If feminists are right, all we have done is destroy life. They then argue that we need to create bigger and stronger centralized governments that impinging upon our most fundamental rights as a human in order to protect women and children. The family must de disassembled and the state must step in to protect families from the evils of men.

I have documented this agenda and its evils in my first chapter. I have stuffed it full of quotes and references to clarify how tragically mistaken our culture is has become.

Why not start a blog? That's what Rollo did...

 

[Dr. Reed]

Why not start a blog? That's what Rollo did...

As stated, I built a website devote to helping men, but my web designer never came through. I am going to look at some options regarding the issue. Yes, I am looking at blogging. I realize that I need to establish my authority to enter this debate.

That is why I am writing the book. Once the book is done I can then start thinking about a website. I do not want to cloud my judgment by worrying about the ability to make money off this venture. I just want to get the book done first. With all due modesty, I am an excellent coach but selling coaching is completely separate from writhing the book and getting feedback. That is what is important.

The book will be for sale, except members of this forum will get it for free. OK...so back to the text:

Failure to Launch Syndrome

There is a lot of talk at all levels of our culture about the fact that we are not producing men who are good fathers, husbands, and role models. To put a finer point on the problem, why are so many 30 year old men abdicating their roles for a life on the couch in their parents basement? This phenomena is called The Failure to Launch Syndrome.

The reason is that given the set of choices our society is offering, it is simply not worth the effort to build a career, marry and start a family. Why? Because chances are all your plans and hard work will fail. It does not matter how hard you work. It does not matter if you are a good husband and father. Even if you were lucky and your family survived our cultural onslaught upon men, these roles are not valued in our current society. A failure to launch is rational.

Why would an intelligent creature put his heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into something that can easily be taken away?

If we construct a model based upon evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, and rational choice theory it will consistently explain why women stay with or leave men. It will also explain why so many men are opting out.

These models explain why more than half of all marriages end and why the decision to divorce is made by the women.

Of course, these disciplines do not offer a solution. I had to look elsewhere.
In my search for answers I became involved with the seduction community. I found that their material had roots in academic sub-fields like evolutionary biology and evolutionary psychology.

Too my amazement, all these disciplines produced very similar explanations of why relationships succeed or fail. There are two variables that drive my conclusions. First, women generally make all the major decisions in a relationship. Second, once you get past all the smoke and nonsense about why relationships end you will see that women leave for one overriding reason: They fall out of love.

The takeaway of all this dictates that there is one, and only one thing men can do when it comes to relationships: Keep your partner in love with you.

Unfortunately, we are failing.

Lessons from my students

When I was teaching I would have students come in looking for help in terms of their papers and tests. Invariably, the conversation would turn to their private life’s. Usually we ended up talking about their relationships. Should I stay or should I go, should I move out, should I get a divorce? Time after time I would have these types of discussions, and when it came to men they often made bad decisions.

For example, I had a student return from a tour of duty in Afghanistan. He was in school full time and not employed. He also had PTSD. His wife, the primary breadwinner, was upset with him for not having a job and kicked him out of their apartment.

The student asked me for advice. He wanted to make an immediate decision. He met someone else, and felt that he could not date her unless he filed for divorce.

He was unable to see beyond this immediate choice. I asked him “why are you in such a hurry to get a divorce? Did you know there was a study of men just like you in the cohabitation literature?” (Popenoe) People like yourself were on the verge of divorce. Some divorced, and some stayed married. Those that stayed married were happier than those that divorced.”

He replied “but I have to get divorced before I can date this other gal.”

I asked “did you leave your wife voluntarily, or did she kick you out?”

“She kicked me out”, he replied.

I responded “you fought for your country and as a consequence have PTSD...you are getting therapy and going to school full time, correct?

Your wife has, in my opinion, violated your wedding vows. Remember the part about sickness and health? As such you are no longer bound by your vows.

You do not need a divorce to date this other woman. In fact, the decision to divorce is usually made by the woman, not the man. Ultimately, she will decide if the two of you stay together.

Don’t do anything drastic. Give her time to make the decision. There is a strong possibility that she will realize that her life is better with you than without. Leaving her alone, not trying to force action may re-ignite her love for you. Women love it when men step back and let them figure things out for themselves.

In the meantime focus upon your recovery and your grades. These are the things in your life that you can control. You cannot control your wife. Leave her alone and she will decide if you stay together.

Be honest with the new woman about your situation. Let her make an informed decision about your relationship. Do not lie.”

Men today must understand that there are many things they can’t control. People, places, things...the world is going to do what the world is going to do. All you can control is how you respond. Focus on that.

Women are going to do what women are going to do. Stay out of that process. Stay in YOUR process. You have power in that domain.

When women do things I find unacceptable, I don’t try and change that. I also do not have to accept bad behavior. I move on.

Getting good at this process gives you power. Women will fall in love with you. They will know that other women desire you. They will demand your time. They will supplicate to you for exclusivity.

These are quotes from my own experiences. “Marry me now!” “Marry me and I will suck your d!&k….twice a day every day.” “Marry me and I will buy you a Corvette.” “I want a ring on this finger.” “Marry me and I will give it to you….all!” “I don’t care if you are seeing other women, I am going to fight for you.” “Get me pregnant I will give you ten thousand dollars.”

 

[Dr. Reed]

These are demands from women who were medical doctors, PhD's nurses, MBA's and other successful women.

The Toolbox

Do modern men need a Toolbox for living? Men have done well for more than 60 thousand years, what is so different now from the way things were?

The answer, as illustrated by the example just given, is yes. Modern men are desperately in need of a users manual for love and living. This fact affects much more than men, it affects women, children and society as a whole. Men matter. Contrary to public opinion our role as fathers, husbands, and leaders are important. (Raeburn, 2014, Brotherson, White, et al 2006)

The old, obsolete model would have us “take charge” of the situation. Use our economic superiority and role as the head of the household to control the situation and force that solution upon our wife. The days of the utility of that strategy are long gone.

Men, the Media, and the Village Idiot

According to Suzanne Venker (2013) in the span of a few short decades, the feminist “movement managed to demote its men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons.”

“Name a sitcom from 1970 forward that depicts a strong, responsible, intelligent father figure.” (Ibid.) Fathers in sitcoms “are depicted as immature, dumb, lazy and incompetent. Do we seriously believe this drumbeat of messages has no impact?” writes New York Times author Allan Bird (as c.f. by Venker).

Venker continues, “It has major impact. Today’s sitcoms, and commercials, routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he. Ward Cleaver is long gone...We are left with The New Dad: unemployed, unaware, and thoroughly emasculated.” (Venker)

This kind of “male bashing, which almost always falls under the radar, is par for the course in modern America.” (Ibid)

In a CNN interview with Maureen Dowd, the author was asked about her 2005 book, Are Men Necessary? Dowd concluded that the answer was no: “Now that women don’t need men to reproduce and refinance, the question is, will we keep you around?” “Dowd stated “we need you in the way we need ice cream—you’ll be more ornamental.”

Are these claims true? Are men idiots? What does this mean for society? If men are unimportant, then it should not matter if they are marginalized and alienated?

It does matter

The empirical evidence we have from decades of data proves that the role of a father is critical and that children raised without fathers have far worse outcomes than children raised in traditional two parent families. According to a meta analysis (a study of studies) 92 studies found that children of divorce had far worse outcomes across a variety of measures relative to children of intact families. (Amato, Bruce 1991). Children do better when they live with their own two married parents.

Children from single-mother families are at increased risk of psychosocial morbidity, troublesome traits that are based on items like an individual's socialization skills and psychological growth.

Single-mother family status on its own is a significant predictor of all child difficulties. (Lipman et. Al , 2000)

Children of divorce have much higher rates of alcoholism and drug addiction, higher rates of incarceration, higher rates of mental illness, lower rates of academic achievement, lower rates of career achievement, higher rates of divorce when they marry. Popenoe 1996, 2011, Sayers 1998, Jeynes 2002, Sanderson 2009, Huss 2008,

As far as parents are concerned, married people are better off financially. Marriage is associated with better health, sex and safety for men and women.

Longitudinal studies have examined couples that were on the verge of divorce. Some couples stay married, some did not. The couples that stayed married had far superior outcomes compared with those that divorced. Women and men benefited greatly.

 

[Dr. Reed]

The Western world has a disdain for men

The science proves that men matter, but popular opinion and Gender studies reject this empirical evidence. In fact there is a name for this phenomena. It is called “speaking truth to power.” A famous conclusion of this literature is that “women need a man like a fish needs a bicycle”. (Dunn 1970).

A 2011 poll of 2,000 women failed to find ONE woman who was completely happy with her man. (Remington, as c.f. Daily Mail, 2011)

That is why we must look to other fields for our information. Gender studies are normative, not scientific, and highly biased. Traditional psychology is not much better. Mainstream psychologists and psychiatrists are utter failures when it comes to teaching men.

We must look elsewhere for our solutions. In Political Science the quantitative studies of cohabitation and social welfare policy are well done and give us good insight. Rational Actor modeling (taken from economics) does an extremely good job of predicting social welfare behavior. Charles Murray is a good example. Rtional actor modeling explained why a women would chose to be an unmarried mother. It is because she would get more from the state than she would if she split the fathers paycheck.

The same is true with evolutionary biology, and evolutionary psychology. Well designed empirical studies (that means they are based upon the scientific method) have overwhelmingly supported the superiority of the traditional nuclear family.

Everyone wins when we have intact nuclear families. Ultimately, it is usually the woman who makes the decision as to whether a couple says married or not. The only power that men have is the power of love. It is critical for society, for our future that men develop the skills, the tools they need to keep women in love.

Women communicate and keep score differently

Men do not understand how women communicate and keep score. They communicate and keep score differently. Furthermore, women keep score constantly. Most men do not understand this fact. They don’t see that they are losing love points daily. They only know that she is arguing with him every day, she is overly critical and nags incessantly. These are signs that she is falling out of love.

You MUST identify these signs and tests when they are happening, and respond correctly. If you get angry, argue with her, you fail the test. If you stay calm, rational, and utilize the tools I give you, you WILL pass these tests with straight A's. By doing so your woman will love you a little bit more each day.

Do not think that buying your wife an expensive gift will give you a ton of love points. It does not work like that. Buy her a $60k Lexus? One point. Listen to her talk about her day without going into (typical male) problem solving mode, one point.

Resist her attempt to argue, one point. It is absolutely critical to get these daily points. Doing so keeps a woman in love with you. Expensive gifts elevate her value above yours and don’t work.

You might think “I am too young to get married. I just want to be able to get a date.”

You are absolutely correct. The last thing I am recommending is that untrained young men under the age of 30 need to get married. You must first become a man of high value. Your transformation will not happen overnight. All the slick pick up and seduction techniques will not work unless you first become a man of value.

You must first master the daily behavior and mindset necessary for keeping a woman in love. As with so many things, it requires work and discipline.

Relationship fitness, emotional fitness, spiritual fitness….they are similar to physical fitness in this manner.

You do not sit around on your butt eating cheesy poofs all week, and then go to the gym on Saturday for 3 hours and get in shape. Sorry, it does not work like that. You go to the gym five or six times a week for 45 minutes each time. That is how you get in shape.

Relationship fitness works the same way. It requires daily maintenance. Your wife comes home from work and wants to talk about her day. You listen for 5 minutes and keep your mouth shut. Pretend you care, even if you don’t. Don’t try and solve her problems. She already knows what she is going to do.

 

[SteR]

As stated, I built a website devote to helping men, but my web designer never came through. I am going to look at some options regarding the issue. Yes, I am looking at blogging. I realize that I need to establish my authority to enter this debate.

I get that you're in the process of building a website, I just meant for the time being it might be a good idea to put all your posts on a blog until that's ready. It'll keep it all in order and be presentable until you can design something better.

 

[guru1000]

Two counterpoints you may want to consider, address, or incorporate:

1) One position, among others, that you seem to hold is the marital or LTR construct is corrupted and men are getting the shlt end of the stick in LTRs and divorce courts, and thus men benefit by learning to have better dealings with women (e.g. point system), and within this context, men can take their power back. For men who are indoctrinated LTR lovers or who are already married thus with a great liability in a potential divorce, this position is relevant.

However, marriage and LTRs are social and biblical constructs, borne of comfort and indoctrination. For single men who are affluent or with greater incomes and net worths than their prospective partners, instead of entertaining the lifetime LTR or marriage contract, in many cases, it benefits men to child-rear outside of marriage (with liability limited to child support, which can also be mitigated with sophisticated preemptive financial planning), and adopt the DJ lifestyle perpetually. This directive, alone, places power squarely back on men's shoulders, and is even a stronger "bonding-" and mating- strategy than swallowing a lifetime LTR or marriage contract (even with a prenup that could be set aside) with the intention or shall we say contrivance to keep her interested. Further, this places greater onus on men to build superlative extrinsic SMV (looks, status, money) value as the "need" to attract desirable women is perpetual, and militates any power a contending women could attempt to impose with her mating strategy.

2) When you take the position that you must keep her interested, you are implicitly devaluing yourself, as who is she that YOU need to keep interested by earning her points (a form of pedestal-ing). Should she not be working hard to her earn your points, and should not this diametric question/perspective form the basis of your value/frame/thinking? The sexual strategy of consciously striving to earn her points already begins from a weak frame (exchange of value between you and her).

Granted the power of a relationship cannot thrive in unilateral despotism and is likely fluid though weighted in your favor, but the counterargument is, that to begin, your overall extrinsic SMV (looks, status, money) must supersede hers, and herein is the foundation of frame (and the relationship). Then working with this central tenet, we can build upon meeting each others' emotional needs.

 

[purple haze]

Dr. Reed, Give me a sweet taste:

How do you stop women from falling out of love with you? Can I have the dessert from your book right away?

 

[ubercat]

I d suggest starting a blog using one of the free WordPress sites. U can then have an author only area to keep your book chapters safe while you're working on them and u have it as a cloud backup if your computer crashes.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Great responses guys...I am working many of these issues out. I am slammed with work at the moment and will post up later when I have the time.

 

[Dr. Reed]

Dr. Reed, Give me a sweet taste:

How do you stop women from falling out of love with you? Can I have the dessert from your book right away?

You want to read my second chapter. I am working on it right now. Give me your email and I will send you the chapter as soon as it is in good shape.

Also, look at some of my posts on this forum.

Here is one: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/natural-verses-structured-seduction-tear-down-that-wall.240843/

 

[Dr. Reed]

Here is a recent post I made on Mall game.

Here is the correct way to run mall game. Use the mall as a destination.

Start at the coffee shop outside, but not too far away from the mall. Meet a girl, get her talking using natural game and or structured game.

After 5-15 minutes, as long as you get her talking/opening up, she will become comfortable. Then, look at your watch and say "hey, it was great talking to you. I would love to stay longer but I have to go. Lets pick up this convo at a later date. Write your number down right here, OK?

If she does not give you her number, its over. If she gives you her number, read her a bit more. Was she touching your arm/kino?

What I do sometimes is I run a yes ladder: "Oh hey, you have nice clothes...do you like clothes?" If she says yes, say "that is awesome, I like clothes too". "Do you like shopping?" "Yes" she replies. "Do you like the mall?" "Yes" she says. You "want to go to the mall and help me pick out some clothes?"

This strategy has almost always worked for me and for other guys I coach. Get to the mall. Take her in your car if she lets you.

Once you get to the mall get moving...say "hey, look at that guy, dang he is fat....OMG did you see the makeup on that woman, and she had a dog in your purse. Just keep things flowing. Then, go to a store where you want to buy a shirt, ask her to help pick one out for you. Women love that. In absolutely no case do you buy her anything...she has to earn that.

Once in the dressing room, as you take your shirt off things should naturally escalate. Kino, kissing...I like to put a woman's hand on my Johnson. Now here is the important part.

If you want to date her further, get to second base...it should be getting fairly passionate by then, but don't have sex with her. Buy your shirt, take her to her car and kiss her again. Deep and passionate.

Call her in 3-4 days...don't worry she will remember you. She will probably like you even more. Take her out again on an action date. You can sex her then, although I like to wait till the 3rd date if I really like a gal.

My guys have had tremendous success with this tactic. One, a wealthy retired professional athlete had sex with her in the dressing room. He even came inside her. This guy is worth millions. I told him "are you crazy?" I want you dating multiple women. He didn't want to hear it (she was an HB 9). I told him you have to date more, you have to be sure if this woman is suitable and only then can you begin to think about exclusivity. She is just one of the 3 women in the rotation. She has to earn her way to the top slot, and that should take at least 6 weeks. He refused to listen, got oneitis and 6 weeks and she dumped him. This guy paid me extremely well ( and gave my son sporting goods with his name on it).

He is big, buff, rich, and good looking. But he does not understand women.