The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Roober]

I agree with you.. disrespect should be dealt with harshly.. she embarrasses you in front of people... WALK AWAY

And you are right, i need to take this woman off the pedelstal, and realise she was toxic and low quality, and move the fuk on!

So quit talking, start doing!

Make a list of what you need to do. Start approaching more women, find the strength inside you to understand she was a $hitty human being, girlfriend, etc.

Something I did that helped...

Make a list of good qualities
Make a list of bad qualities
Look at all the good qualities and write 1 of 3 words next to it... ALL, most, some, none. This is determined by how many other women have these qualities.

For example, for good I had these for my ex...
What I do like
-she is fun to spend time - MOST women are fairly fun to be around, at least women you will actually end up on a date with. Actually, more fun than she was
-sex is good - MOST women are good in the sack. I only had my exwife for perspective, which was aweful. My new plate puts my exgf to shame badddd
-she is pretty - SOME. I would say she was a solid 7.5 , hottest I had dated unfortunately. Not all women are hot
-she challenges me - MOST decent women will challenge you and keep you on your toes
-she values family - MOST women value their family
-She is okay with splitting bills - MOST women are okay with this

As you see, you can easily knock a women off her pedestal. It is even more fun when you do this for the negatives. You realize she has more bad qualities of a low quality woman, a woman you will not get near any more!

 

[Reboot2017]

ell i have banged a good few chicks since my ex, but looks wise they are not on the same scale of my ex..

My ex was a good looking woman, also successful.

This is why i feel worse after dating new girls.. i'm thinking maybe I should take a break from dating for a while, and just focus on myself?

I guess you know the problem man. I think the concept only works if you bang someone hotter than your ex. Otherwise, you feel worst because she becomes even more valuable in your eyes. But I agree with everyone on this board. You can do better man. For the moment, maybe lay off the chicks and concentrate on becoming the best version of yourself. I came to the conclusion the reason why I am so into my ex was because I was not happy with my life. I imagine if I had an amazing life which made me fulfill, her leaving or me booting her out would not affect me much at all.

 

[Reboot2017]

Day 16 of NC. Generally quite depressed but I can rationalize it out so not too bad. Been holding on to my program of keeping busy but at the same time I have stopped denying myself from feeling the negative emotions. Better to embrace it and really feel the pain to overcome it. Despite that, there are moments of clarity about life and I have started to look at this as an opportunity to rebuild myself. After a year of being in the doldrums with her with almost zero effort on self improvement, I suddenly find ample time and opportunity to work on myself. That is a blessing.

I had a thought which resonated with me this morning... It is the same advice they give on the redpill whereby to concentrate on creating an awesome life rather than hunting for chicks. When you have a legendary life, you can then choose to invite girls to share in it if they qualify for it. And regardless of whether they stay or not, you do not really care because you realize the truth of it all. They do not matter. You do.

 

[soulforge]

So quit talking, start doing!

Make a list of what you need to do. Start approaching more women, find the strength inside you to understand she was a $hitty human being, girlfriend, etc.

Something I did that helped...

Make a list of good qualities
Make a list of bad qualities
Look at all the good qualities and write 1 of 3 words next to it... ALL, most, some, none. This is determined by how many other women have these qualities.

For example, for good I had these for my ex...
What I do like
-she is fun to spend time - MOST women are fairly fun to be around, at least women you will actually end up on a date with. Actually, more fun than she was
-sex is good - MOST women are good in the sack. I only had my exwife for perspective, which was aweful. My new plate puts my exgf to shame badddd
-she is pretty - SOME. I would say she was a solid 7.5 , hottest I had dated unfortunately. Not all women are hot
-she challenges me - MOST decent women will challenge you and keep you on your toes
-she values family - MOST women value their family
-She is okay with splitting bills - MOST women are okay with this

As you see, you can easily knock a women off her pedestal. It is even more fun when you do this for the negatives. You realize she has more bad qualities of a low quality woman, a woman you will not get near any more!

I already did this list man..and the negatives did outweigh the positives..

The fundementals that make a relationship work are not there..

Yes she is good looking..

Yes she is successful..

Yes the sex is good..

But putting up with disrespect is not even an option.. always blaming, never accepting responsibility.. A healthy relationship can never work under these circumstances..

I think its just difficult, when you feel you cannot get a hot woman like that again..

But hey, who knows.. I may look back in time and be absolutely glad i kicked her to the curb..

One thing i do know is... getting back with this chick is NOT an option.. only moving on is the way forward

 

[Roober]

I already did this list man..and the negatives did outweigh the positives..

The fundementals that make a relationship work are not there..

Yes she is good looking..

Yes she is successful..

Yes the sex is good..

But putting up with disrespect is not even an option.. always blaming, never accepting responsibility.. A healthy relationship can never work under these circumstances..

I think its just difficult, when you feel you cannot get a hot woman like that again..

But hey, who knows.. I may look back in time and be absolutely glad i kicked her to the curb..

One thing i do know is... getting back with this chick is NOT an option.. only moving on is the way forward

You recognize the problem, now it is a matter of accepting it and embedding it in your brain. Attractive women are a dime a dozen. Your problem now is finding an attractive "good" woman, your ex was not that woman. She was in fact, very ugly!

 

[resilient]

What's up DJ brothers?

Day 30
Feels awesome to have made it thirty days NC. I'm halfway there on this challenge. On day one I blocked her number and email address so I couldn't receive any messages of any kind.

For the first week, I was able to get nearly eight hours of sleep every night. Sleep has been off and on since then, yet worlds better than it was the last few weeks leading up to the breakup. If anyone is having trouble sleeping immediately following a breakup, I strongly recommend "Sleep Hypnosis for Letting Go of Past Relationships" by Michael Sealey. I played that video every night before sleep during week 1.

I bought a kick @ss electric guitar that I play daily and have gone to three weekly lessons. I'm learning how to play tabulatures, practice chord progressions, and learn more about different styles of guitars and techniques.

I gained 10 pounds of muscle. Went from 136 -> 146. I still want to bulk up another 20-30. The gains aren't as noticeable yet... the good news is my face doesn't look so boney when I was depressed at 136.

I became an event organizer for a social group of a few hundred members where I live, so I'll be responsible for putting on more get togethers this summer, which will help for social proof building and a nice break from studies.

Still transitioning my career. I'll graduate with my undergrad in July and start applying for grad school. I have to shadow an expert in my field for 40~80 hours before I can apply...

I've been seeing my old therapist the last few weeks to work through lingering issues of rejection that's going well. I realized I'm no where near ready for a LTR and that's perfectly fine as I get my house in order. There are more pressing matters right now than spinning plates, so plates can wait.

 

[soulforge]

You recognize the problem, now it is a matter of accepting it and embedding it in your brain. Attractive women are a dime a dozen. Your problem now is finding an attractive "good" woman, your ex was not that woman. She was in fact, very ugly!

Thanks man.. my goal and mission is to remove everything about this woman out of my life..

Untill a day comes, where I don't give a single fuk about her..

It is true.. I could never say that this was a good woman.. even if i get a lesser attractive girl..i would prefer that over a nasty remorseless hag like her..

By the way.. what is the sexual market value of a 52 year old woman? Who is also a bar girl.. it she pretty much pump and dump material in younger guys eyes?

 

[soulforge]

Do you know what drives me crazy..

My ex actually believes it is me he treated her bad.. she claims to be the victim.

She actually does not see any wrong doing carried out by her at all...

And this is why its not possible to be with someone like her.. the gaslighting and blaming and the disrespect will leave you mind fuked or just very ANGRY and RESENTFUL

Seriously if you meet a girl.. and she behaves inappropriately.. do NOT take it lightly.. if its something serious or it is disrespect.. WALK the fuk away

 

[Roober]

Thanks man.. my goal and mission is to remove everything about this woman out of my life..

Untill a day comes, where I don't give a single fuk about her..

It is true.. I could never say that this was a good woman.. even if i get a lesser attractive girl..i would prefer that over a nasty remorseless hag like her..

By the way.. what is the sexual market value of a 52 year old woman? Who is also a bar girl.. it she pretty much pump and dump material in younger guys eyes?

That woman is the lowest SMV. I am guessing you are in your 30's or 40's. Should always try to look younger. She was pump and dump that you kept around too long. Keep in mind, she will never leave your mind. It is a matter of accepting that you guys were not a good fit, she is hot garbage, and you are way better off without her. You will laugh at yourself one day that you even went through this.

Do you know what drives me crazy..

My ex actually believes it is me he treated her bad.. she claims to be the victim.

She actually does not see any wrong doing carried out by her at all...

And this is why its not possible to be with someone like her.. the gaslighting and blaming and the disrespect will leave you mind fuked or just very ANGRY and RESENTFUL

Seriously if you meet a girl.. and she behaves inappropriately.. do NOT take it lightly.. if its something serious or it is disrespect.. WALK the fuk away

My exwife did this a ton, hence why I left. To this day, she still blames me for tons of random $hit. Some women refuse to take ownership and are masters of deflection. It does play a game on your mind...

 

[hesh]

I just found this forum and reading your posts makes me feel better and less alone, knowing that others are in the same situation. Thank you all!

So......
DAY 15 of NC
DAY 20 since breakup

Longest NC during the relationship was 10 days 2 months ago, until she contacted me.

If you want the back story, I wrote it on another forum when she just left me..when I was freshly heart-broken

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=203613&view=unread#unread

First week was horrible! Don't want my worst enemy to feel that way!
But then after the forum thing, I slapped myself and said to myself what the fukc am I doing?!

Since then I've tried to stay busy, friends and gym and family. When I'm alone, I still think about her all the time, but less when I'm with other people.

Since the slap, I've been finding myself again and realizing what kind of AFC I became... I kind of needed this breakup to wake up.

But I'm not gonna lie, I still miss her like hell!
I still have a hard time accepting this...
I still want her back.

Next week is my birthday. I don't know if she will send me that "happy birthday" text, what do you think?
If she doesn't, I might think about accepting life as it comes.....

Some might say I use NC for the wrong purpose and it will hurt me more... But I don't know, guess I have to find that out the hard way.... Still love her..

 

[Roober]

I just found this forum and reading your posts makes me feel better and less alone, knowing that others are in the same situation. Thank you all!

So......
DAY 15 of NC
DAY 20 since breakup

Longest NC during the relationship was 10 days 2 months ago, until she contacted me.

If you want the back story, I wrote it on another forum when she just left me..when I was freshly heart-broken

http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=203613&view=unread#unread

First week was horrible! Don't want my worst enemy to feel that way!
But then after the forum thing, I slapped myself and said to myself what the fukc am I doing?!

Since then I've tried to stay busy, friends and gym and family. When I'm alone, I still think about her all the time, but less when I'm with other people.

Since the slap, I've been finding myself again and realizing what kind of AFC I became... I kind of needed this breakup to wake up.

But I'm not gonna lie, I still miss her like hell!
I still have a hard time accepting this...
I still want her back.

Next week is my birthday. I don't know if she will send me that "happy birthday" text, what do you think?
If she doesn't, I might think about accepting life as it comes.....

Some might say I use NC for the wrong purpose and it will hurt me more... But I don't know, guess I have to find that out the hard way.... Still love her..

Your life is just beginning. First gf and sex, so it is natural to feel immensely attached. She sounds like a mess. Keep up no contact and it will only get better.

The key to the first few weeks is distractions..
-weights - don't pvssy around. hit the weights like you mean it
-cardio - HIIT and do cardio, both weights and cardio have physical and emotional benefits to your life, google it
-start approaching women
-If you have a bad "feels" day, allow yourself to go through it... just let it rain
-read, read, read - I think many guys don't do enough of this... some starters... book of pook, the rational male, the 3% man, way of the superior man, so many others to list.... self-improvement books
-focus on your job!

Complete NC is the only way to get over it.... block her phone, and all social media! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT EVEN TEMPT YOURSELF!!!!! I am sure many others, including myself, can vouch for htis

 

[hesh]

Your life is just beginning. First gf and sex, so it is natural to feel immensely attached. She sounds like a mess. Keep up no contact and it will only get better.

The key to the first few weeks is distractions..
-weights - don't pvssy around. hit the weights like you mean it
-cardio - HIIT and do cardio, both weights and cardio have physical and emotional benefits to your life, google it
-start approaching women
-If you have a bad "feels" day, allow yourself to go through it... just let it rain
-read, read, read - I think many guys don't do enough of this... some starters... book of pook, the rational male, the 3% man, way of the superior man, so many others to list.... self-improvement books
-focus on your job!

Complete NC is the only way to get over it.... block her phone, and all social media! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT EVEN TEMPT YOURSELF!!!!! I am sure many others, including myself, can vouch for htis

Thanks for your advice mate

 

[soulforge]

Currently banging two HB6's.. Everytime I am with these chicks, it makes me feel like my ex was much more valuable.. to me my ex was more like a HB8

Not sure if I should continue banging these chicks.. as i end up feeling chitty afterwards.

Might be best to drop all woman right now, up untill I meet one that I feel is worthy of banging??

Is it better to sometimes go without sex, and take a break!

 

[Firestar786]

Its been 3.5 months since I dropped my ex.
I don't think.about her but come to the conclusion she's a crazy psycho biatch.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and she has been replaced by a better one.
I made one last phone call to her, telling her to leave me alone and after that there has been no contact.

She has presumable tried to contact me but who gives a fvck. You should only give someone one chance and avoid those who fvxk about

Head up guys, cos there is always a better one out there.

 

[soulforge]

Its been 3.5 months since I dropped my ex.
I don't think.about her but come to the conclusion she's a crazy psycho biatch.
There are plenty of fish in the sea and she has been replaced by a better one.
I made one last phone call to her, telling her to leave me alone and after that there has been no contact.

She has presumable tried to contact me but who gives a fvck. You should only give someone one chance and avoid those who fvxk about

Head up guys, cos there is always a better one out there.

I like this man... i gave my ex at least two maybe three chances..

The key is to get rid of her sooner than later, if she is displaying bad behaviour or red flags..


I still I have not found a better one yet, so probably why still thinking about her...

But when I do find a better quality woman.. I will probably not give a rats ass about mt ex

 

[Reboot2017]

Day 20 of NC. Things have been looking up. Been travelling for work and being in a new environment helps with the perspective. She came to my town day before yesterday to party it up with some friends that we know. Normally, I would be worried about the turn of events but this time around, it was a massive relief not having care about what she was doing. None of my business anyway. It felt quite peaceful.

Cannot say I am completely over her. Not by a long shot but I feel the recovery process going on quite well. I do not think about her so often and it helps a lot. I have started concentrating on figuring out things with my life and how to improve. I know I have a long way to go and there is still a lot of work to do on myself but at least for the first time in weeks, I feel I am in control of my emotions.

 

[soulforge]

18 month relationship..

Just over 3 months since I walked away.. still thinking about her pretty much every day, but doesn't hurt as much as before..

Even had thoughts about being back with her.. which is fuking STUPID as this woman have proven to be a worthless partner for me...

Need to keep NC continue blocking her, till i am free from her..

Going back to her is not an option.. there is nothing left!

 

[soulforge]

Just had a date with the hottest chick ever.. i mean my 3x does not even compare!

Not sure if there will be a second date.. we kissed etc.. this girl was seriously hot..

Made me realise there are better chicks than my ex outhere.

 

[Reboot2017]

Made me realise there are better chicks than my ex outhere.

Way to go man... Regardless of whether you have your second date or not, the realization above itself is gold...

 

[Roober]

Just had a date with the hottest chick ever.. i mean my 3x does not even compare!

Not sure if there will be a second date.. we kissed etc.. this girl was seriously hot..

Made me realise there are better chicks than my ex outhere.

And to think... it's only been 3 months... good job!