Facebook & ex-wife

[PatientOne]

I'm looking for thoughts and opinions.

In my Curious Situation thread, I discussed that I recently left my wife. She did not fight or beg to maintain the marriage, and took her rings off and gave them to me during the splitting up conversation. The cute woman that I also talked about has backed off on communication since the split became public knowledge. It is still there, just less so, which is fine.

However, my (ex)wife keeps posting on Facebook and sharing memes about mending her heart, being sad, becoming strong for whomever comes next, blah blah fr1ckin' blahbbity-blah.

It is not affecting my frame, per-se, but it is annoying me while also making think that I made the right decision. I spelled out the problems we were facing, more than once, and she ignored the issues while taking me for granted. It doesn't seem to bother her that I almost died, but she was comfortable in a marriage that became platonic.

She is around a lot, until remodels on her part of our building are done. I do not have an ETA. Should I call her out on these posts, or maintain radio silence? I have to talk to her everyday, right now, and perhaps maintaining silence about her b.s. will actually help me socially, especially if she starts seeing another man right off.

EDIT: I want to say, "While you are posting your feelings and memes, are you being honest with people on why we split?"

 

[lizardking82]

Radio silence all the way. She is a free bird and has the right to post whatever she wants. You're a free bird, too, but you're choosing to kinda stalk her. Start reducing the amount of stalking. Not good for you, mate.

 

[PatientOne]

Radio silence all the way. She is a free bird and has the right to post whatever she wants. You're a free bird, too, but you're choosing to kinda stalk her. Start reducing the amount of stalking. Not good for you, mate.

I'm not stalking her, and I agree that doing so would be bad. I check f.b. for news and updates, but I am banned for another hour due to a political discussion that I was involved in, and we are friends on f.b., so I see everything she posts at the top of the timeline. Plus, others are approaching me about her posts. I am removing relationship info when I can edit my information. I will try to avoid communication as I can. I can't go complete NC, for certain reasons beyond my control.

 

[Billtx49]

Defriend her. Any communication you may or may not need with her can be done by other methods. You are not with her any more, so keep her present life out of your present life and your mind.

 

[lizardking82]

I tell you this from personal experience: if/when you defriend her, of course it will not stop you from visiting her social media, but it will at least make her not pop up in your feed and that will bring you some peace of mind. You need some piece of mind now, I guess, so do whatever needed to get that.

 

[PatientOne]

Defriend her. Any communication you may or may not need with her can be done by other methods. You are not with her any more, so keep her present life out of your present life and your mind.

We have a child together, and a bunch of mutual friends going back to childhood. I will probably defriend her, but there is no way that I can think of to become completely removed. So far, things are amicable, but I don't know how long things will last that way.

She told me a little bit ago that one of her female friends is picking her up to grab a couple of drinks. I was like, "See ya, have fun," with no emotion, whatsoever. It feels like freedom.

 

[Billtx49]

Yes, I can see it with kids involved, but like most divorced moms, they are mostly under her control now. If you have visitation find out about their lives then, and encourage the ex to send pics of them. There's no way you should be a witness to her social life at this time. Let go
You're obviously still invested in her, but do the best you can to move on to the next chapter in your life.

 

[PatientOne]

Yes, I can see it with kids involved, but like most divorced moms, they are mostly under her control now. If you have visitation find out about their lives then, and encourage the ex to send pics of them. There's no way you should be a witness to her social life at this time. Let go
You're obviously still invested in her, but do the best you can to move on to the next chapter in your life.

Custody will work out. I have a way about these situations. It will be 50/50 everything. You are correct about the investment, though it is residual, as it has been only a couple of weeks. At first, I had feelings of guilt, sadness, and anger (over her not trying,to save the marriage.)

However, what she is doing has me quickly getting over that crap. I flirted with women since the breakup, and it is only going to get better from there. In fact, I could probably sleep with at least two of those women.

 

[Billtx49]

Custody will work out. I have a way about these situations. It will be 50/50 everything. You are correct about the investment, though it is residual, as it has been only a couple of weeks. At first, I had feelings of guilt, sadness, and anger (over her not trying,to save the marriage.)

However, what she is doing has me quickly getting over that crap. I flirted with women since the breakup, and it is only going to get better from there. In fact, I could probably sleep with at least two of those women.

Good, check out the different stages of grief, think it's 6, figure out where you are, and proceed as you see fit per your personal situation.

 

[Young OG]

Unfriend and block her. Then go through all of your FB pictures and delete anything with her in it. This is what I did when things ended with my kids mom.

 

[PatientOne]

Unfriend and block her. Then go through all of your FB pictures and delete anything with her in it. This is what I did when things ended with my kids mom.

She posted that she was at the bar with her friend, because her friend thinks that drinking alone in her bedroom is unacceptable. So her posts are carefully crafted to make me look like an azzhole. Well, I am embracing my azzholism, and I defriended her.

I will block her when I feel that it is "safe" to do so. I don't know how she is going to react once she realizes that I defriended her, and I have to make sure that she is going to stay civil, since we are not divorced yet anf we do not have an official custody order.

 

[Billtx49]

Make sure you have a good attorney. There's a fight coming your way.

 

[PatientOne]

Make sure you have a good attorney. There's a fight coming your way.

I don't think so. She is usually avoids confrontation, and she is never vindictive. She might throw a hissy fit, but it would be way out of character her to use our son as a weapon. Plus, she has zero family court experience, and I can construct compelling cases.

 

[Billtx49]

Wait and see what happens if she gets an attorney involved.

 

[PatientOne]

Not too worried. I don't want to go into detail, but I will be perfectly fine.

So, she came home and found me packing up her blurays/dvds. She then discovered that I defriended her on f.b. She is now in her room, crying.

This of course is after she packed up a lot of my stuff, saying to me that she wants to get our belongings into our own places ASAP. She said she was hurt, I reminded her that she wanted to hurry things along. I specifically did not mention her posts, but said that we can each do our own thing and not have to worry about it.

I acted indifferent, maybe a little annoyed, but maintained frame.

 

[Glassguy]

Block and remove all her pics. Problem solved

 

[Desdinova]

She posted that she was at the bar with her friend, because her friend thinks that drinking alone in her bedroom is unacceptable. So her posts are carefully crafted to make me look like an azzhole.

The day I was done with my ex-wife was the day that I removed her from social media. She has my phone number if she needs to get ahold of me. I also removed any mutual friends that we had because they were reporting back to her.

When you ditch a woman you've been with for a significant amount of time, you should cut her off completely.

 

[PatientOne]

The day I was done with my ex-wife was the day that I removed her from social media. She has my phone number if she needs to get ahold of me. I also removed any mutual friends that we had because they were reporting back to her.

When you ditch a woman you've been with for a significant amount of time, you should cut her off completely.

We have almost 100 mutual friends. It would be difficult to remove them all. A lot if them are a part of my social circle. Many of us went to school together. However, the ones that I met through her should be removed.

 

[Reykhel]

Imagine........a world without Facebook.

Unless it's for professional reasons, I really don't see the purpose of Facebook. Just seems like another way
that people can keep tabs on you and vice versa.

It's a wonderful thing not having newsfeeds of people's random thoughts and memes and what they ate for dinner and how
their dog has a lot of gas. Come to think of it, I know practically nothing about the lives of ex's or what their random thoughts or beliefs might be or what their kids might be called and whatever stupid fvcking memes they happen to be posting right now.....

 

[PatientOne]

It came in handy to reconect with friends who moved far away.