Only been on one date, but she texts me a lot. Is there a point wishing her happy easter today?

[fmfan08]

Been out with this girl once and she showed me all the positive signs and been lighting my phone up this week. I've reached out the odd time but she's mostly been reaching out (75% of the time) with very detailed fun texts, emoji's, keeps the texting going, etc. We have a second date arranged for Wednesday.

We've spoken the last two days and whilst I prefer to save all the talking for the date I do try to keep mysterious about things and not reveal too much to the point she said I was "so intriguing".

When we were texting yesterday, I was at work so obviously I had to prioritise work and I would reply to her every 30 mins to an hour. There was a point where I took three hours to reply because work got so hectic and she sent me a second text hoping that her last reply hadn't put me off, justifying herself. Obviously I didn't see a problem with her text as I was working but I replied to her second one an hour after when I finished work.

Anyway I know she has plans today and I have too, but wondering is it worth reaching out and wishing happy easter or just say it in a jokey way like "Merry Easter" etc or does this look beta? I mean I'd probably wish her happy birthday or merry christmas but I don't really go around wishing everyone happy easter compared to other events like that.

Plus we've spoken for the last two days and wanted to put some space, let her wonder what I'm up to today, etc and let her reach out to me again.

Again, I'd rather not be roped into a conversation today and wondered if it wouldn't matter wishing her happy easter if we've only been on one date.

 

[sazc]

Nope, you are busy today with family.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yeah dude don't overthink this. No need for an Easter text. And don't forget there is no NEED to put all your eggs in 1 basket. Pun intended.

Find more prospects to rotate. I don't know your age but younger guys tend to fall into the oneitis trap. Don't do this. But yeah good on you, keep the texting to a minimum. Keep it for the dates!

 

[fmfan08]

Nope, you are busy today with family.

Is what I thought, plus want to make her wonder what I've been up to today.

Yeah dude don't overthink this. No need for an Easter text. And don't forget there is no NEED to put all your eggs in 1 basket. Pun intended.

Find more prospects to rotate. I don't know your age but younger guys tend to fall into the oneitis trap. Don't do this. But yeah good on you, keep the texting to a minimum. Keep it for the dates!

10/10 for the pun. Yeah I've still been using POF and currently texting this other girl but leaning more towards this current girl. I've done good so far and having other options have helped.

Okay, I won't bother reaching out today. Not like it's christmas/her birthday/valentines.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You need to break her of texting immediately or you will blow it with this girl.

Stop texting her. Next time she reaches out, tell her you'll catch up with her Wednesday. You are too busy to be spending all this time texting this chick. She'll think its cute for another 2-3 weeks before she finds another orbiter to swing to.

Remember gents, if she gets all of your attention through texting, why would she have any reason to see you? I wouldn't be surprised if she flakes on Wednesday.

 

[fmfan08]

You need to break her of texting immediately or you will blow it with this girl.

Stop texting her. Next time she reaches out, tell her you'll catch up with her Wednesday. You are too busy to be spending all this time texting this chick. She'll think its cute for another 2-3 weeks before she finds another orbiter to swing to.

Remember gents, if she gets all of your attention through texting, why would she have any reason to see you? I wouldn't be surprised if she flakes on Wednesday.

Fair point, but I do try to keep some mystery like if she tries to ask questions I dodge them and say you'll have to find out when you see me.

Just to note, our texting isn't talking like getting to know each other. It's just banter like me making statements, not questions. I'll tease her and we'll make sexual jokes and that, but it's usually 3-5 messages to each other.

The only problem is she lives 23 miles away so I guess there's the communication we're wanting to keep inbetween seeing each other. She's happy enought to drive to see me and I'm happy to visit her, but there's part of me worried if we don't have some sort of communication between dates then it might not work. But I see your point that if she gets ALL the communication over text, why would she want to see me? So I do try to keep it intriguing, mysterious, etc. Must be working as she said "you're so intriguing ".

 

[bigneil]

She should text Happy Easter first.

 

[EyeBRollin]

It doesn't matter what kind of mindless text chat you're doing. Stop texting. Make a date and put the phone down. If you're always texting, how can she miss you?

Think long term here, buddy. If you're texting her 3-5 times a day after 1 date, imagine what an LTR would look like with this gal! She'll go ape **** if you don't respond fast enough because you trained her to text you. Would you sign up for 50 years of a nag?

50 years of an electronic leash will feel like prison.

 

[fmfan08]

She should text Happy Easter first.

Fair point, let her reach out for things like that.

 

[bigneil]

The keys to my 6 month relationship?

1) Never send date reminders - she MUST be the first to text the day of the date.
2) Never send date follow ups - she MUST be the first to text after the date.
3) For the first 3 months, make sure she is doing at least 50% of the initiating (example, she initiates twice a week and you initiate twice a week for a total of 4 texting days per week).
4) From the 4th month and on, she should be doing 80% of the texting - simply wait for her to write most of the time. If it's a good relationship, she will initiate about every other day and miss you every other day.
5) The nature of your texts? Photos from the last date and date invitations. And answering her questions. Sometimes it's great to have a text conversation when they are in a good mood. Keep it light. It should be full of red hearts from her.
6) Get her email. It's fun to mix it up. This is particularly good for sending songs or date itineraries (with hyperlinks for effect).

 

[fmfan08]

It doesn't matter what kind of mindless text chat you're doing. Stop texting. Make a date and put the phone down. If you're always texting, how can she miss you?

Think long term here, buddy. If you're texting her 3-5 times a day after 1 date, imagine what an LTR would look like with this gal! She'll go ape **** if you don't respond fast enough because you trained her to text you. Would you sign up for 50 years of a nag?

50 years of an electronic leash will feel like prison.

We're not texting every day, far from it. We text a little bit on Friday and Saturday but the two days before (weds and thurs) we didn't, then before that we text then a couple of days before that we didn't talk.

I don't text everyday because it's been draining for me in the past.

 

[MrOctober]

I hear ya man. They're all right though texting kills it. You can but just very light. Train her that you talk when you meet.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The problem isn't too much texting, or too little texting, or whatever. Guys make different things work for them.

That's the priority. Making this work for you. Rather than being a slave to a way of behaving that makes you miserable.

Guys telling you to text, or to not text, are really just telling you the method they find that they enjoy.

Enjoyment is irrelevant. You may like to text, and it will work for you sometimes... However, over the long term it burns out the relationship. This is proven time and time again. Our job here in the discussion forum is to keep it real with the OP. Texting kills relationships. We all know it...so why suggest otherwise?

OP, text all you want. If you think you can get in her pants for a hit and quit, continue texting her. If you want to keep her in your orbit longer than a few dates, lay off the texting.

 

[fmfan08]

The keys to my 6 month relationship?

1) Never send date reminders - she MUST be the first to text the day of the date.
2) Never send date follow ups - she MUST be the first to text after the date.
3) For the first 3 months, make sure she is doing at least 50% of the initiating (example, she initiates twice a week and you initiate twice a week for a total of 4 texting days per week).
4) From the 4th month and on, she should be doing 80% of the texting - simply wait for her to write most of the time. If it's a good relationship, she will initiate about every other day and miss you every other day.
5) The nature of your texts? Photos from the last date and date invitations. And answering her questions. Sometimes it's great to have a text conversation when they are in a good mood. Keep it light. It should be full of red hearts from her.

1) So nothing like "looking forward to seeing you Wednesday" etc? I guess something on the day like "i'm going to be a few minutes late, see you later". We've arranged to meet Wednesday at 5pm in the city centre but I haven't said WHERE in the city centre, so figured I could say we're meeting at (specific place) on wednesday, although I probably should have said this originally.

2) I never did this after our first date, she did this so I'm trained in this area

3) At the moment it's more like 60% from her. She's also double texted when I've not replied for hours too. In the past week I've initiated about twice and her about 3.

4) Yeah I guess once she's invested it'll be easier for her to reach out for me. I guess I should be at most, initiating once a week at this point though.

5)Yeah it's none of this "how was your day?" "what are you up to?" or questions like that.

Examples of her texts (out of context of course):

When she said she had the house free I teased her about it and she teased me back, I didn't reply then three hours later she said "I hope that hasn't scared you of... if you could drive you could have kept me company " when she said she was home alone doing uni work, but I was obviously working at my job. I'd have gone over to hers but can't walk out on my job, which is the priority at the moment.

She asked me about work but instead of answering her question directly, I just said "I need an expert massager for these aching limbs" and she said "aww I don't know whether I'm any good at massages, but willing to try anything aslong as I get something in return"

So I said that I could stretch to giving her something in return and that she wouldn't be getting any uni work done if I did, with a wink, etc. Her response was "Yes please, if only we could do that! Sod the uni work... ;P"

I try to keep the messages playful, none of this getting to know each other stuff, that's for dates. Just playful and brief, but happy enough to learn more flirty, playful messages to send and so on.

 

[fmfan08]

I hear ya man. They're all right though texting kills it. You can but just very light. Train her that you talk when you meet.

Are there any articles on this I could read more into? The last girl I did this with seemed to break it off because of the lack of communication between dates, so it's kind of knocked me from past experiences.

 

[bigneil]

Based on stats I kept of my most successful relationship, you should be in contact with her about 3 days per week, and she should be initiating 2 of those 3 days.

It's great when she initiates - be sure to reward her. Otherwise sit tight. When you never reach out she calls it "her having space".

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men who avoid it realize that there is simply no upside to texting. Texting doesn't increase interest level. It doesn't make her more likely to sleep with you or marry you, so what is the objective of texting? Her feelings actually grow more in your time away.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I've already said that each individual should make things fit their own needs. And I don't want to be seeing any woman more than twice a week.

So, it was important for me to get better at messaging. In order to keep plates spinning in the interim.

I honestly believe guys should rip up the rulebook. Because the rules I'm seeing about messaging women, I've pissed all over with good results.

But most guys don't do that, because they are playing it safe in order to get the lay right now. Instead of thinking about the long-term.

The rules are there because they work. Like I said, you can text and have results with it. But the results are not because of texting; they are in spite of it. Texting does not increase her interest level nor is it necessary in your time away.

 

[fmfan08]

Based on stats I kept of my most successful relationship, you should be in contact with her about 3 days per week, and she should be initiating 2 of those 3 days.

It's great when she initiates - be sure to reward her. Otherwise sit tight. When you never reach out she calls it "her having space".

What if three days go by and she doesn't reach out? Do I then contact or just keep waiting it out?

 

[fmfan08]

Men who avoid it realize that there is simply no upside to texting. Texting doesn't increase interest level. It doesn't make her more likely to sleep with you or marry you, so what is the objective of texting? Her feelings actually grow more in your time away.

Yeah this is true. It doesn't increase it although it can maintain it if done right, BUT it also creates more chance of destroying it too. That's why I believe there should be some sort of playful texting going on, just sparingly. The fact that she hasn't heard from me creates intrigue from her side to reach out and wonder what I'm up to.