Woman says I should find someone my own age

[EmotionalGeek]

Recently I tried to hit on few older womans. They were about 40. I am 32. They were constantly nagging me to find someone my own age or telling me that I am too young for them. Generally they spent a lot of time with me and I enjoyed it a lot but they drop me on age basis e.g.

1. one of the girl just did not let me to get with her to much physical but spent many hours.. She was first one that much older and I felt that I do not want her number.
2. one spent like 30 minutes having good time but she said thank you and in one hour she was with guy even older than her (balding, looking not very appealing). Before she went she said she was looking for husband (I think club is not a good place for that).
3. One was nagging me to find girl my age but spend whole party with me cuddling. Letting me touch her thighs and hold her waist. She suggested sex many time but when I told her multiple times I have a wine in the house she did not agree to come. She was constantly blushing, finally called me her boyfriend, she was playing with her hair (on purpose telling me what she is doing ), she was rubbing her face against my cheeks but never let me kiss her although she gave me kisses to the neck. I got her number.

So the question is when woman raise age concern (no matter younger or older) how do you diffuse the situation -- from my experience older woman raise this concern every 10 minutes.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Cant really help I dont register women above 28 in my radar, I believe my brain transforms them in men.

Ok now seriously in my opinion they either dont find you good looking enough and they use the age excuse to avoid the following step or they are simply too concerned about getting fixed that they have no other desire than a man that can take them for good.

In my opinion again instead of aiming 10 yrs older than you, you should aim 10 yrs younger.

 

[EmotionalGeek]

Cant really help I dont register women above 28 in my radar, I believe my brain transforms them in men.

Ok now seriously in my opinion they either dont find you good looking enough and they use the age excuse to avoid the following step or they are simply too concerned about getting fixed that they have no other desire than a man that can take them for good.

In my opinion again instead of aiming 10 yrs older than you, you should aim 10 yrs younger.

I want younger woman but I have never been with older one. I want to try them.

 

[Krueg]

Some older women are damaged and dont believe in relationships or marriage anymore. So they're just looking to have their needs met time to time or find a long-term fvck buddy, they dont want anything serious. Which is why their hinting at you to date others so you dont get attached.

 

[ubercat]

Cuddling?? I m sure her tits needed a cuddle too up your escalation dude. And if damaged cougars is your thing online dating is the motherload

 

[wifehunter]

Feminist nonsense.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Older women typically go one of two ways. Either they are looking for a younger boy toy or they are looking for someone who has similar/equivalent life experience or even a little more life experience than their own.

Older women who are not looking for a boy toy typically want a man in their age range for possibility of LTR; they typically want a man who already has his own children, etc, because usually older women already have their own kids etc.

Younger men in their early 30's have zero appeal to me, no matter how attractive they are, as an older woman for several reasons. The main reasons are:

1. I'm not looking for a boy toy
2. I'm not looking for ONS or STR or FWB
3. I feel I'm wiser about life (how can he lead me)
4. I know I'm not an LTR candidate for him
5. He will eventually perhaps desire children & I'm past the baby bearing years & he will want a younger (than him) partner for this (see points 1-4)
6. He's too immature/insecure for me and I'd rather have a more life experienced man.

These are points you cannot overcome for the older women with no interest in a boy toy. I'm for example not a cougar type. There are cougar types out there. You can always solicit those types of women but your post indicates you just mainly want a FWB or ONS.

So you need to look more for a boy toy type. Those kind of women will treat you more like a sex object than a man since they will still think they have more life experience and won't take your input or leadership seriously. Just be aware what you are getting into. Some of these women break hearts because they have no intention of settling down with a younger man, even though the sexual experience and non-clingyness tends to hook men.

I know two women in my professional circles like this. They are both very hot, very in shape & very straightforward. They are both serial heartbreakers when the boy toys get attached to the sex.

So that's my 2 cents.

 

[nismo-4]

When older women tell you this, you're not that attractive. Sorry. I guarantee you she wouldn't say this type of sh*t to Lebron James or Anthony David. Would you tell a hot MILF to find a guy her own age? You wouldn't, I gar-on-tee!

These women are teasing you. They just enjoy controlling you and getting your attention. If need be, lie about your age. I do. It helps. And face it, your results with older women suck ass.

Don't get attached. I haven't given my heart in many years. A woman will have an easier time getting into Harvard than my heart.

 

[skinnyguy]

Just tell her you've always wanted to have sex with a MILF.

 

[nismo-4]

Just tell her you've always wanted to have sex with a MILF.

That's a great way to put her on a pedestal or repulse her!

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm a boy toy at the moment for a 46 y/o milf. She is a lot more attached than me, though.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here's the TLDR up front:

For women who don't want a boy toy-

It's really nothing to do with how attractive a man is. That's an ego preserving myth. It's the list I gave you above or some other set of non-negotiable reasons an individual woman may have.

Explanation:

I'm 48 and I prefer men at least my own age. I was out recently and a very tall handsome guy I'd guess to be in his early 30's kept smiling and trying to get my attention. He finally walked over and asked me point blank "Whats up. I've been trying to get your attention like 4 different times." Maybe his wing was teasing him, who knows.

He was quite physically attractive. He acted almost offended that I wasn't swooning over him as he was clearly not used to being turned down. So is his ego involved? Probably.

He has no way of knowing that I've been there done that with exceptionally good looking men. He has no way of knowing that great looks are not the end all be all to me. Why? He's way too young, too impressed with himself and too immature for me and he has no idea that's the deal. Zero. Wouldn't believe it if I told him.

Much like the OP. What's the point in telling someone something they can't or won't accept?

That interaction ended with him telling me "well it's your last chance...I'm going to dance with her" (hot young blonde slightly drunk girl). I just smiled and was very nice & said "She's pretty. Enjoy yourself", all the while thinking...He has NO idea he's way too young for me. I found the whole thing humorous...and I'd bet he got laid that night. Good for him. Way too young for me.

It's been my experience that it's the hotter men that try and pull older. The last several have been extremely attractive. They just really are not my cup of tea for the non-negotiable reasons in my other post. My ego doesn't need the validation (which younger men THINK it does). Even early 40s is too young in my book.

I've had a 40 year old try and sell me on dating him recently. Good looking, educated, ambitious & successful. Sexy too. Too young. Might want kids one day. Pass.

If a man doesn't meet my criteria IDGAF. I'm polite but direct that I'm not interested. The disbelief upon being turned down is part & parcel to why I've no interest in younger men.

By the time men reach 50 by and large they have had their kids and don't want to deal with more babies. They don't want teenagers as they approach 70. They'd rather be doing cool stuff with a cool companion. Give me a 50 year old sexy father over a 30 year old hot guy all day long. Even if the 30 year old is rich or famous (especially if he's rich or famous) Pass.

It's basic life stage compatibility. The 30 something studs who want to pull older chicks have a hard time understanding this IME.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

So the question is when woman raise age concern (no matter younger or older) how do you diffuse the situation

It's never about the toothpaste, or the toilet seat.

If she raises the X concern, it's always the ATTRACTION concern.

If you defuse any "concern" she'll come up with another non-concern-concern since the original concern isn't really the concern.

Just deal with the real concern, which is always attraction.

 

[BeExcellent]

It's never about the toothpaste, or the toilet seat.

If she raises the X concern, it's always the ATTRACTION concern.

If you defuse any "concern" she'll come up with another non-concern-concern since the original concern isn't really the concern.

Just deal with the real concern, which is always attraction.

This is true if you understand that for some women a substantially younger man is not attractive based on his age and irregardless of anything else.

That's true in my case but can be hard to accept especially if the man in question is used to being found attractive.

 

[guru1000]

When older women tell you this, you're not that attractive. Sorry. I guarantee you she wouldn't say this type of sh*t to Lebron James or Anthony David. Would you tell a hot MILF to find a guy her own age? You wouldn't, I gar-on-tee!

Nismo, you need to stop with the, "Do you think if you were Brad Pitt ..."

Top-level men get rejected too. They are just rejected less. Either you are meeting a woman's needs or you're not. All you can do is get better to create a larger pool of hot women interested in you.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

All you can do is get better to create a larger pool of hot women interested in you.

That's the whole point of the Brad Pitt metaphor.

"She wouldn't do X with Brad Pitt" = "She wouldn't do X with a man she's attracted to"

But misunderstanding of the "Brad Pitt" metaphor is common, as people tend to focus on the finger and not where the finger is pointing.

 

[AlexKaiser]

Most women have had experience with younger guys, and if enough of them did bed her, they probably did the near-minute nut.

She is distancing you with the age as an excuse to avoid sex, because she probably had bad experiences in the bedroom. Most older girls are reluctant to hook up because, why put the effort into getting into bed with a guy when he's going to squirt in a few minutes?

You might need to advertise your stamina a bit more.

 

[17 shots]

I just say "yea I'm young, but so what I'm loyal"... the balls in their court from there, most of the time they shut up after that if they're attracted to me. If they keep going on about it after that then just leave her alone. Never go back and forth with a women trying to prove yourself worthy. Just find another woman. Older women know what they want, and will give you heavy eye contact if they're feeling you. If i dont get that from them, then I don't even waste my time

 

[zekko]

Some women simply won't take a younger guy seriously when it comes to dating. Even though there is the cougar phenomenon, to some older women a man significantly younger than they are is simply a boy. Like BeExcellent said, women tend to want the male to have as much or more life experience as they do.

This is a bit of a double standard, and a bit of a throwback to older traditions, but it persists. Usually men tend to prefer younger women anyway, so it's not usually an issue.

 

[mikey2012]

Pro tip : only spin plates under 30.