Woman says I should find someone my own age

[AlphaNate]

You're making this way more complicated than it is. If a girl has high interest, she will put herself in your path and submit, regardless of age difference.

Pro tip : only spin plates under 30.

Pro tip: don't listen to this guy.

 

[dude99]

Recently I tried to hit on few older womans. They were about 40. I am 32. They were constantly nagging me to find someone my own age or telling me that I am too young for them. Generally they spent a lot of time with me and I enjoyed it a lot but they drop me on age basis e.g.

1. one of the girl just did not let me to get with her to much physical but spent many hours.. She was first one that much older and I felt that I do not want her number.
2. one spent like 30 minutes having good time but she said thank you and in one hour she was with guy even older than her (balding, looking not very appealing). Before she went she said she was looking for husband (I think club is not a good place for that).
3. One was nagging me to find girl my age but spend whole party with me cuddling. Letting me touch her thighs and hold her waist. She suggested sex many time but when I told her multiple times I have a wine in the house she did not agree to come. She was constantly blushing, finally called me her boyfriend, she was playing with her hair (on purpose telling me what she is doing ), she was rubbing her face against my cheeks but never let me kiss her although she gave me kisses to the neck. I got her number.

So the question is when woman raise age concern (no matter younger or older) how do you diffuse the situation -- from my experience older woman raise this concern every 10 minutes.

You can sum up all your questions into two categories. The reasons as to why are completely irrelevant.
Did i close the date?
Yes.
She is interested.

Did i close the date.
No.
She isn't interested.

Whether it be your age, your hair balding, your too hairy, you make too little, your not tall enough, you're too tall, you're too young, too old, too fat, too skinny...........the result is the same. You have no date and she isn't interested.

Next.

 

[guru1000]

That's the whole point of the Brad Pitt metaphor.

"She wouldn't do X with Brad Pitt" = "She wouldn't do X with a man she's attracted to"

But misunderstanding of the "Brad Pitt" metaphor is common, as people tend to focus on the finger and not where the finger is pointing.

Nice try.

Let's reiterate:

When older women tell you this, you're not that attractive. Sorry. I guarantee you she wouldn't say this type of sh*t to Lebron James or Anthony David. Would you tell a hot MILF to find a guy her own age? You wouldn't, I gar-on-tee!

It's never about the toothpaste, or the toilet seat.

If she raises the X concern, it's always the ATTRACTION concern.

If you defuse any "concern" she'll come up with another non-concern-concern since the original concern isn't really the concern.

Just deal with the real concern, which is always attraction.

Your claims are if a woman is giving you any resistance or concern, she is not attracted to you. Hence, the celebrity dogma.

My claim is that a woman can be very attracted to you and still not give you the green light simply because you are not what she is looking for a/k/a "not meeting her needs."
I'll go further to state that when your value is extremely high, some top-notch women and more lower-notch will feel extremely insecure around you as they don't believe that you will stick around, so they preemptively NEXT you in an attempt to validate themselves. Scratch your head on that for a moment.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

My claim is that a woman can be very attracted to you and still not give you the green light simply because you are not what she is looking for a/k/a "not meeting her needs."

You're splitting hairs to win internet arguments.

If she's not into you, she's not into you. Call it what you want. (Attraction, meeting her needs, etc).

She wouldn't throw out the age problem (or whatever surface level issue) to somebody was into. (Whether's she's really attracted but afraid you won't stick around preemptively nexting you or whatever ninja mind games you're attributing to her).

Don't make this more complicated than it is.

BOTTOM LINE

If you get any kind of "issue" that you think you can reframe with some snappy comeback, it's likely a better use of your time to find somebody else.

 

[nismo-4]

You're splitting hairs to win internet arguments.

If she's not into you, she's not into you. Call it what you want. (Attraction, meeting her needs, etc).

She wouldn't throw out the age problem (or whatever surface level issue) to somebody was into. (Whether's she's really attracted but afraid you won't stick around preemptively nexting you or whatever ninja mind games you're attributing to her).

Don't make this more complicated than it is.

BOTTOM LINE

If you get any kind of "issue" that you think you can reframe with some snappy comeback, it's likely a better use of your time to find somebody else.

Very true.

Like I said, if she has interest, age wouldn't come up. You think 18 y.o. college freshmen say Brooke Burke and Sofia Vergara are too old to be dateable and bangable? They'd turn off Game Of War and the PS4 in a hot second if they had a date with them!

I never heard of a high school boy say they'd turn down Beyoncé because of age. Same with Halle Berry and Jessica Alba. Hell, when I was in HS, no guy had that objection.

Maybe she's throwing out barriers because she wants you to be a fan i.e. orbiter, IG liker, attention provider, emotional tampon, ego booster, etc. Just walk off. I guarantee she's not that attractive anyway.

If she's throwing out lots of walls and sh*t tests early on, what do you think will happen in later stages?

 

[guru1000]

You're splitting hairs to win internet arguments.

If she's not into you, she's not into you. Call it what you want. (Attraction, meeting her needs, etc).

She wouldn't throw out the age problem (or whatever surface level issue) to somebody was into. (Whether's she's really attracted but afraid you won't stick around preemptively nexting you or whatever ninja mind games you're attributing to her).

Don't make this more complicated than it is.

BOTTOM LINE

If you get any kind of "issue" that you think you can reframe with some snappy comeback, it's likely a better use of your time to find somebody else.

Actually it is YOU who is splitting hairs. I want to remind you that you initially challenged my assertion.

However, whoever started what is irrelevant. What is relevant is the following distinction: A woman not being attracted to you (period)--is very different than--a woman who is attracted to you but thinks you will not meet her needs.

The latter can be effectively "gamed," should YOU elect.

Further ... men should not always feel de-validated when a girl is not into them thinking they are not good enough. There are simply many dynamics at play in any social interaction, and a primary one--which is often overlooked or misinterpreted--is she may be very attracted to you but is not sold on your meeting what she is looking for.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Actually it is YOU who is splitting hairs. I want to remind you that you initially challenged my assertion.

However, whoever started what is irrelevant. What is relevant is the following distinction:

You're pretty funny.

 

[SteR]

Some women simply won't take a younger guy seriously when it comes to dating. Even though there is the cougar phenomenon, to some older women a man significantly younger than they are is simply a boy. Like BeExcellent said, women tend to want the male to have as much or more life experience as they do.

You just got me thinking about something here: I question this whole cougar phenomenon.

I have a friend who's early 30s. She's a very successful lawyer and has been through a lot of men looking for her prince charming. All of her exes have been a similar age or older, however recently she started going through a phase of dating younger men. She paints this picture online that this is what she wants ie. the young studs and that she's a cougar.

However, knowing her quite well, I know that deep down she really wants an older guy that can match her success, it's just those guys aren't interested in her and are going after the younger, more attractive women. So she's basically settling for second best and hooking up with the guys that are giving her attention.

I wonder whether this is what's actually behind the whole cougar thing? Because to date, every woman I've met that claims to be a cougar has been unhappy that she can't land a decent man at her age or older, so has simply settled for a younger guy. It's not like these women have access to all ranges of men and actively choose to date these younger men, it's just that their range is now limited and they're taking what they can get.

Thoughts?

 

[Who Dares Win]

You just got me thinking about something here: I question this whole cougar phenomenon.

I have a friend who's early 30s. She's a very successful lawyer and has been through a lot of men looking for her prince charming. All of her exes have been a similar age or older, however recently she started going through a phase of dating younger men. She paints this picture online that this is what she wants ie. the young studs and that she's a cougar.

However, knowing her quite well, I know that deep down she really wants an older guy that can match her success, it's just those guys aren't interested in her and are going after the younger, more attractive women. So she's basically settling for second best and hooking up with the guys that are giving her attention.

I wonder whether this is what's actually behind the whole cougar thing? Because to date, every woman I've met that claims to be a cougar has been unhappy that she can't land a decent man at her age or older, so has simply settled for a younger guy. It's not like these women have access to all ranges of men and actively choose to date these younger men, it's just that their range is now limited and they're taking what they can get.

Thoughts?

Could be.

After all a wealthy middle aged guy is not going after wealthy middle aged women but young hot women.

Not any different than older educated women looking older older educated men only to see them not giving a fvck about the education but chasing hot waitresses.

 

[guru1000]

OP, I wouldn't worry about dating older women at this point in your life. You'll have plenty of them as you get older. I would focus on the early-mid 20s crowd, until you're 50.