Confidence attracts more than good looks

[DJFear]

Confidence is overrated. Now don't get me wrong, it does play a role in attraction but its more of an additional ingredient rather than the main thing that will get you women. Think of confidence as a spice or sauce that you add to your main meal to make it more tasty and enjoyable.

Additionally true confidence comes from experience but not just any experience...POSITIVE experience. Where you succeed and you gain knowledge that you are actually capable of doing it.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, you want to be the normally all round attractive guy that you are when approaching. Averagely attractive is fine, if that is what you are.... and what most women themselves are. The thing is to now capitalize on that by approaching, and then not to do anything to sabotage yourself. Once again, all you need to be is good enough. You have done your part, and the woman will then find you attractive or not. Or, she may, for one reason or another, be unable to step up to the plate. Whatever happens, you have done your part to the best of your ability, and should be proud of that.

The time to attempt to be something other than you are is not when you are approaching. That is something you slowly work on the course of your life.

 

[Tenacity]

PUA Gurus won't mention this. Of course it would kill their customer base.

Excellent analysis. To me, "seduction" is very similar to the sales world.

- In the sales world, you have a bunch of GURUS running around talking about how they have magical selling ability, can "close", and all of the rest of the garbage that you hear sales people say on a daily basis.

- When in reality, the reason they got the order, the new client, etc., is because the client was already SOLD before the salesperson walked up to them.

- The client was already dealing with the issues, problems, challenges, etc. that not having the product, service, solution, etc. that the salesperson has. Thus, once the salesperson communicated the AVAILABILITY of said product/service, the client became interested.

- But if you let these jack a.ss sales GURUS tell it, they "persuaded" the client, or they used NLP programming, or they "used Zig Ziggler sales techniques"....or some other dumb shyt.

And the seduction community is the same damn way. This IDIOT thinks the bytch fvcked him on the first night because he used a 3 second rule, or a c0cky/funny, or elicting values, or (insert some other dumb PUA shyt here).........and the REAL reason the bytch fvcked him was because she's been horny all month, can't stand it anymore, and his "good looking a.ss" just so happened to have said something to her at the right time.

 

[Tenacity]

To use your analogy, if you actually don't think that some salesmen are more skilled than others, then you simply haven't worked in sales. You don't know what you are talking about.

I've been in sales going on 11 years.

- The vast majority of sales training is bullshyt.

- And ALL of PUA "training" is bullshyt.

 

[DJFear]

I've been in sales going on 11 years.

- The vast majority of sales training is bullshyt.

- And ALL of PUA "training" is bullshyt.

What about a customer (or a girl) who is so to speak "on the fence". Surely being a good salesman sometimes you would be able to persuade them to buy something if they are still unsure. In same way sometimes a guy can get lucky with an unsure girl if his game is tight enough.

 

[Tenacity]

What about a customer (or a girl) who is so to speak "on the fence". Surely being a good salesman sometimes you would be able to persuade them to buy something if they are still unsure. In same way sometimes a guy can get lucky with an unsure girl if his game is tight enough.

Good question.

- Being "unsure" and being "not interested" are completely different things.

- If I'm not interested, I have no need whatsoever for what you are offering. No amount of "overcoming my objections" or Zig Ziggler bullshyt is going to all of a sudden create a "need" where there's no need. And the more you sit there continuing to try to "sell me" something I don't need, the more you are just going to piss me off (which is why a lot of people ban all salespeople in general, cause the dumb fvck will literally sit there overcoming objection after objection instead of getting the fvcking HINT that I don't need what you are offering)

- Versus, your product being something I MIGHT need, but I'm not fully sure if I can afford it or not sure how it would work with my current situation, etc. A competent sales professional should always bring a "process" to their prospective client that would help guide the customer to making a good decision, as well as, crafting a solution that fits their requirements.

Now, to bring this back to "women". A girl who is not attracted to you, doesn't give two shyts about your "game" because everything you do to her is disgusting. She doesn't want you around her or near her.

A girl who is attracted to you but not SURE if she wants to fvck you or date you yet, is a chick that you would manage just like you would any other chick you are dating. That is, have great convo, take her someplace that's exciting, get your kino in, etc.

This is a completely different situation than a girl who is not interested and you trying to do some "kino" on her. That's just going to get you a sexual harassment lawsuit.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I agree - especially in the daytime. The act of approaching is sensational enough in itself, therefore the priority becomes making it as normal and smooth a social interaction as possible.
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Yes, and getting back to the confidence 'versus' good looks debate, confidence both provides the condition to approach, and then enables you to approach.

For example, today I go into Immigration [I am presently an 'alien' overseas]. I receive that 'flash' of eyes you sometimes notice... from a Chinese woman. Why? Perhaps just due to being relaxed and being present, and not being ugly. ha ha. Anyway, I know she was attracted to something, so I am thinking I want to approach her soon. I look around and she is heading out the door. I can see she goes into a restaurant across the street. Damn, missed my chance I thought. But then a bit later, super bored with the bureaucracy, I decide to go to the restaurant. Sit nearby, order and wait a bit as she has seen me but is ignoring me. She finally looks over, and I start the conversation. Goes well. Join her table. We go back to immigration together. Once I get my business sorted, I take her for coffee and get the number.

Long story short, none of this would happen without confidence. A confident person is in a state of flow, and will not be second guessing himself. He makes strong decisions, and soon the woman is also caught in that flow and is following.

 

[zekko]

The ones that are actually honest about how difficult this is are often the most unnappreciated, and underpayed. Simply because most of the money is in catering to blue/purple pill guys that don't want to push their comfort zones, or want a quick fix.

It's only difficult for guys for whom it is unnatural though. Some guys, it's just part of their personality to chat up girls and get them into bed. As I've said before, some of the dumbest guys I know are very good at this - they don't hesitate, they just do. It helps if they're kind of good looking.

The whole pickup scene, they want to make it out like it is such a complicated thing, and they invented this new thing. But men and women have been getting together for thousands of years. It's a natural thing. It's unnatural for it NOT to happen. When I was a young guy in the 70s, we went out and picked up girls. As did most guys my age at the time. Back then, I think, things were more centered around cars. It's not that we were so confident, it's just that if we wanted some girls we were going to have to go out and get them. So that's what we did.

I'm reading a biography right now, the dude grew up in the 40s, and what do they do in their free time? Go pick up chicks. There are several stories on the topic in the book. Point is, guys pick up girls, it's what they do, seduction community or not.

 

[devilkingx2]

If you're relying on good looks for confidence, your confidence is shallow and will fail in the face of female testing.

I rely mostly on delusions of grandeur

 

[devilkingx2]

Hell, anything seems to work like a charm when a woman finds you attractive! There's little you can do wrong. OTOH if she don't like you, there's little or nothing you can do right.

but it takes time to get to this point, most women won't completely irreparably write you off in 30 seconds

 

[zekko]

That's why the average man only fvcks 10 women in his entire lifetime?
Such simplistic thinking.

Show me one thing I said in my post that wasn't true. My description of reality is no simpler than the black and white thinking that the PUA community pushes. We're just talking about a couple of paragraphs here.

Anyway, if you go by the 20/80 rule, obviously the average man is going to suffer in comparison to the men who are more successful. Not everyone considers getting their notch count up as the major interest or focus of their life. Which brings up the question: Is there a number of sexual partners that a man must hit before he is no longer considered a total loser, lol?

 

[ubercat]

Nope. But by 20 notches I reckon u ve seen most of the tricks, and behavior patterns repeat. After that anytime yr confused yr really just lying to yourself to protect yr ego.