Did my first cold approach today

[9Volt]

@9Volt , interested until he finds that it takes effort. Quits to go back to internet porn, and trying to screw whales off of POF.

@Tenacity , renowned beta-male who constantly whines about how women are bullying him, and how they prefer more masculine men over him.

Yeah. I think he should listen to the guy who tells him to experiment, push boundaries, and see for himself. Over applying these two's limiting beliefs to his life, anyday.

Ultimately this forum is just a sh*t-test. He will receive yet more of this nonsense from white-knights in real life too.

You must be psychic bro. Internet porn and Whales on POF AND STILL getting rejected by both. Just last night my hand rejected me when it fell asleep while I was almost finished. FML.

Deesade you might want to try restraining yourself from chasing strangers down the street and not pedestalizing them based off their looks for their approval or rejection of you. Or are you too scared to put in that tough work?

You've almost got me convinced to sell my car and pound the pavement instead putting in that hard work effort in chasing strange broads down the street while attempting to convince myself that I'm not pedestalizing them.

 

[fastlife]

Plus what happens when you do your "direct way" and the girl rejects you? The women around you just seen you get rejected, which not only zaps a lot of your confidence, but it also makes them more likely to reject you as well as your thirsty tail now leaves ONE GIRL and goes to hit on the next girl. Plus, it could get you kicked out of the store if women start complaining.

Doesn't work this way in real time. For several months, I did spam approach--literally every girl in the bar, even girls I had no sexual interest in. It was necessary for me to shake the fvck out of my ego to get out of my head. But a funny thing happens when a girl sees you get rejected and you literally don't give a sh1t. They think, 1.) Wow, this must work for this guy if he does it and 2.) Wow, he laughed at a girl trying to destroy him--he must have a looooot going for him.

I can think of a couple instances: In a couple of my social circles I'm 'the guy who approaches'--the girls beg me to approach so they can watch; incidentally, most of these girls who've watch me get rejected dozens of times have come onto me sexually. Another thing, I have a favorite venue. It's tiny and packed and I'm there enough that people know who I am. It's my spot. I bumped into one of the girls who's seen me do hundreds of approaches, thought she looked really good that night; she eagerly gave me her number and I almost got her back to the house via text (she has a bf she told me about via text and flaked at the last second). I also had a memorable night where I saw a girl walk in in high heels and said, "Why the fvck are you wearing heals." She cursed me out--I mean screaming--and her friend walked up behind her. I turned to the friend: "Oh my god, is she always like that?" Her friend smiled; I pulled her in, talked a little, made out with her.

But you're looking at things from a male to female attraction model: If a dude saw a girl spam approaching he'd think, Oh my god, what a wh0re. For a woman, she thinks, Wow, he must not be afraid of any of the alphas here...my friend/boyfriend/husband couldn't do that...he must be alpha. Especially, once you're socially calibrated. And then, when you're good, and a girl sees 5 girls laughing and smiling and getting attracted she thinks, Wow, he must be really hot...I hope he talks to me. After a good set, I can look around and see girls just orbiting; if the set falls apart, these girls are already like 95% DTF before I open my mouth.

Now, unlike @deesade, I run night game; I work groups (I never see a hot girl out by herself). I guess if I was creeping Barnes & Nobles there could be consequences. But the bartenders/bouncers/owners just see a guy who makes something interesting happen--a lot of them, at this point, are just like, Well that's the local player, let's see who leaves with him tonight.

My way is to just to have a normal, regular, conversation with HER like you would with ANYBODY. From that conversation you and her are having, if you start to feel "flirty vibes" or when you flirt with her she responds positively to it....then you just proceed from there.

If she isn't as talkative when you mention "the Ramsey v.s. Orman" book choice, then there's no harm nor foul. You didn't get "rejected", maybe she just doesn't feel like being bothered, isn't social, is on a period, is in a rush, or a variety of ANYTHING ELSE.

This approach also doesn't make you come off like you are HITTING on her, which if you do that she might automatically put her SHIELD up.

Not a bad technique; but the girl knows why you're approaching. The only real difference between direct approach & indirect approach is how much of your ego you put on the line & how much responsibility you put on the girl. In theory, yeah there's some benefit to an indirect approach--less likely to trigger ASD, less bad sets. But there are drawbacks; you're the 'Oh, well it was nice meeting you...' convo supply guy; if you do escalate at a bad time you're the 'Surprise! I have a ****' guy; you risk looking like a guy with a hidden agenda. I've found it more efficient to be direct, but to throw in a TON of dis-qualifiers & qualifiers.

So her experience is, "Oh, he's hitting on me. Oh, he's talking sh1t about the city where I'm from. Oh, he's touching me. Oh, he likes my smile. Oh, he says I look stuck up. Oh, he's complimenting my eyes. Oh, he's making fun of my accent." Basically, Push-Pull. The more shield she puts up the harder I bust on her. By the time I've settled into a more baseline conversation, I'm not the random guy hitting on her: She knows my likes/dislikes; she feels like she won me over--but just barely & that I made a well-rounded inventory of her various qualities; she feels intense relief that I'm not putting pressure on her via judgment; she feels comfort that there are already things I don't like about her and I'm still talking to her anyway.

I'll even say things like, "Guys probably hit on you all the time: Hey, girl, let me buy you a drink; let me buy your time and attention, girl. Ashley, why are you doing this to me?" or, "God, guys are fvcking weird around hot girls. What's the creepiest sh1t any guy has ever done?" Girls love this stuff--one, it feels like they finally found a guy who understands her reality; two, I'm implying that I'm not one of those creepy desperate guys (since creepy desperate guys aren't aware that they're creepy); three, it gives her a chance to demonstrate that she is desirable; four, it's hilarious. Like when a girl says something creepy that some dude did I'll usually do that exact thing and they'll be like, "OMG I HATE YOU! Lol."

It's not like we're going around saying, "Hey mami you look sexy," while leering and breathing through our mouths.

 

[devilkingx2]

Why not? What have you got to lose?



Listen, idiot. If I wanted to, I could embarrass you with a multitude of pictures.

Every time I post a picture on this forum, I regret it. And I later ask the mods to remove it.

The day that I start posting pictures on demand is the day that I'm selling something. Then I have to validate myself.

In the meantime, guys can go out and experience it for themselves.

The only thing holding anyone back from the truth is their own fear.

Girls are okay with being stopped in the street. I suppose that you'll only believe it when you do it -which will be never, because you're too scared to try.




Nope.

I do things on my own time, not yours.

Ask many people around here. I'm sure they have seen me post pics of different things. Never once did I do that because someone told me to.

It's a dominance thing. You wouldn't understand.



You think that I don't know about that guy?

Guy got busted trying to hire an actress for a video. They say he has world-class game, but also very dodgy business practices.

The video that I posted was done in front of a bunch of other PUA's in the scene. Therefore, I trust it's validity.

When I was doing my own "first daygame cold-approach", I nearly number closed. And that was completely down to Torrero's advice.

So, you never tried it to even have an opinion.

Got a lot of mouth, but no balls to do an infield.

fair enough, next time I leave my house, if I see a girl I like, I'll try a direct approach and let you know how it goes

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

But you're looking at things from a male to female attraction model: If a dude saw a girl spam approaching he'd think, Oh my god, what a wh0re. For a woman, she thinks, Wow, he must not be afraid of any of the alphas here...my friend/boyfriend/husband couldn't do that...he must be alpha. Especially, once you're socially calibrated. And then, when you're good, and a girl sees 5 girls laughing and smiling and getting attracted she thinks, Wow, he must be really hot...I hope he talks to me. After a good set, I can look around and see girls just orbiting; if the set falls apart, these girls are already like 95% DTF before I open my mouth.

Or, she thinks, 'another player', and censors herself from any further interest in you. No doubt, depends what kind of country/ city you live in, and what kind of woman you want.

 

[devilkingx2]

If you're cold approaching you aren't socially aware of cues. If it's "cold" then you aren't getting any signs to approach to begin with. If it's WARM as in the chick is looking, smiling at you and seems receptive as in more than just polite banter then it's much better to go with that than to simply practice with being rejected by chick after chick who gave you no indication they wanted you to approach them to begin with. But if talking to polite walls is your thing to prove you've got "balls" to keep being rejected with an extremely low "success" rate then have at it.

Maybe write a diary on convincing yourself that the few yes's out of hundreds of no's you approach never wanted to talk to you either but you somehow "won them over" and they just weren't receptive to you in the first place.

receptive in the context of cold approaching just means she's willing to speak to you, if she's already happy to see you as soon as you walk up then you're practically guaranteed to get her already as long as you don't fvck up catastrophically

 

[fastlife]

Could you share with me a brief example of how you approach?

I can't speak for @deesade but I can say with all confidence that THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY MATTERS is eye contact, body language & tonality. By tonality, I mean what the PUAs call 'breaking rapport'--imagine your words leaving your mouth in a straight trajectory but dropping towards the ground.

I'd recommend these two video to start:

(In fact, I'd challenge ANYONE on this forum to implement the things in these videos with ANY girl--your mom, your coworkers, your girlfriends--and tell me this sh1t doesn't drastically change the way they perceive you).

Beyond that, what you say doesn't really matter. You just have to be able to keep talking.

I have a couple fallback openers: "Why are you over here judging everybody?" "Wow, so stuck up. What's your name?" "You. You seem interesting. What's your name?" But usually I just say the first thing that pops into my mind--and I've said some pretty outrageous stuff. If she gets mad, step back & "Oh, I'm just playing. My name's, @fastlife."

Or, she thinks, 'what a player!', and disallows any further interest in you. No doubt, depends what kind of country/ city you live in, and what kind of woman you want.

Except not really. Purely anecdotal but let me tell you about the girl that just left:

Met her about a month ago at a social event. She's from a 'traditional culture.' Her friends tell me she hates fvckboys and she's looking for romance/relationships. I way, way over-escalated--got the whole, I'm a lady schpiel. Still got her number. Tried to get her over, got the whole, I'm a lady schpiel again; I'm not like other girls.

Make no apologies. She invites me over to 'get to know her' in a context where logistically sex can't possibly happen. I still way over-escalate. Then a month of radio silence.

She hits me up the other night--just feeler, fluff convo. I make a couple jokes about my past behavior. Invite her over tonight. Small talk; I imply heavily I'm seeing other girls. At some point she puts her hand on my leg and...you know the rest. Pillow talk, she tells me her number (double digits--the lowest out of all her friends); complains about how clingy every guy is; tells me how in relationships she always has a 'Plan B'; we make fun of a couple of her boyfriends she left a sniveling mess; she tells me some super personal stuff which I just listen to and then disqualify--she says, literally, "Finally, a guy I can tell that to who doesn't feel like he has to apologize and protect me from it."

Exact same girl. If I had gone along with her player-shaming narrative, then I'd be on SS telling every guy I found a unicorn: "She's only been with 3 guys. She's classy. And she hates fvck boys--of course, I respected her decision to wait, which is why I got her. Good guys win in the end." Trust me, I didn't want it to be like this: but it is. The above is par for the course--and I've ran into some really, really, really convincing 'unicorns.'

Girls want you to be the player--they'll say they hate the player and watch as guys fail that sh1t test over and over--but they're desperate for a guy who can look them in the eyes and say, "Yeah. Probably."

 

[devilkingx2]

Or, she thinks, 'another player', and censors herself from any further interest in you. No doubt, depends what kind of country/ city you live in, and what kind of woman you want.

if women think you're a successful player then 9 times out of 10 they won't have a problem with that

they will however look down on you for failing

She hits me up the other night--just feeler, fluff convo. I make a couple jokes about my past behavior. Invite her over tonight. Small talk; I imply heavily I'm seeing other girls. At some point she puts her hand on my leg and...you know the rest. Pillow talk, she tells me her number (double digits--the lowest out of all her friends); complains about how clingy every guy is; tells me how in relationships she always has a 'Plan B'; we make fun of a couple of her boyfriends she left a sniveling mess; she tells me some super personal stuff which I just listen to and then disqualify--she says, literally, "Finally, a guy I can tell that to who doesn't feel like he has to apologize and protect me from it."

holy crap, she sounds like a horrible, evil person

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I can't speak for @deesade
Except not really. Purely anecdotal but let me tell you about the girl that just left:

Met her about a month ago at a social event. She's from a 'traditional culture.' Her friends tell me she hates fvckboys and she's looking for romance/relationships. I way, way over-escalated--got the whole, I'm a lady schpiel. Still got her number. Tried to get her over, got the whole, I'm a lady schpiel again; I'm not like other girls.

Make no apologies. She invites me over to 'get to know her' in a context where logistically sex can't possibly happen. I still way over-escalate. Then a month of radio silence.

She hits me up the other night--just feeler, fluff convo. I make a couple jokes about my past behavior. Invite her over tonight. Small talk; I imply heavily I'm seeing other girls. At some point she puts her hand on my leg and...you know the rest. Pillow talk, she tells me her number (double digits--the lowest out of all her friends); complains about how clingy every guy is; tells me how in relationships she always has a 'Plan B'; we make fun of a couple of her boyfriends she left a sniveling mess; she tells me some super personal stuff which I just listen to and then disqualify--she says, literally, "Finally, a guy I can tell that to who doesn't feel like he has to apologize and protect me from it."

Exact same girl. If I had gone along with her player-shaming narrative, then I'd be on SS telling every guy I found a unicorn: "She's only been with 3 guys. She's classy. And she hates fvck boys--of course, I respected her decision to wait, which is why I got her. Good guys win in the end." Trust me, I didn't want it to be like this: but it is. The above is par for the course--and I've ran into some really, really, really convincing 'unicorns.'

Girls want you to be the player--they'll say they hate the player and watch as guys fail that sh1t test over and over--but they're desperate for a guy who can look them in the eyes and say, "Yeah. Probably."

Sure, and then there are the other five who ran a mile. Personally, I'm more interested in the kind of woman who isn't interested in games. Seems we all tell ourselves different stories because we want different things.

But to come back to the topic of the thread, men should definitely be approaching women [preferably warm approach in my case] ......and then screening.

 

[Tenacity]

Doesn't work this way in real time. For several months, I did spam approach--literally every girl in the bar,

I must acknowledge fastlife that the way you approach chicks "at night" in a bar, nightclub, or strip club or a house party, is a completely different approach than one you take during the day at places YOU have to frequent in the future.......such as your gym, your church, your local chamber of commerce meeting, your local college alumni club, your favorite grocery store, and your favorite restaurant.

I guess if I was creeping Barnes & Nobles there could be consequences.

There you go.

Not a bad technique; but the girl knows why you're approaching.

What do you mean she "knows" why I'm approaching?

It's all about the place where the "conversation" is taking place because depending on said place, it's a proper WAY to go about it. If I'm just getting out of a church meeting, with the "holy spirit" flowing all through the building, I have no business running around in the lobby after church like a THIRST bucket hitting on every chick that walks by. That's crazy lol.

Instead, what I SHOULD be doing (as a "good Christian") is fellowshipping with my fellow church members....all of them....men and women.

- With the men, when the conversation is going good, I might offer to meet up with my "new bro" later on and catch the game or something.

- With the women, when the conversation is going good and she's attractive, then I add in some light "Christian" flirting, exchange numbers, and then proceed.

That's not being fake, it's called not being inappropriate based on the setting we are in. I have to go BACK to that church, I don't want my reputation damaged as some THIRST bucket.

The only real difference between direct approach & indirect approach is how much of your ego you put on the line & how much responsibility you put on the girl. In theory, yeah there's some benefit to an indirect approach--less likely to trigger ASD, less bad sets. But there are drawbacks; you're the 'Oh, well it was nice meeting you...' convo supply guy; if you do escalate at a bad time you're the 'Surprise! I have a ****' guy; you risk looking like a guy with a hidden agenda.

No, absolutely not man. Listen, I'm coming out of the Post Office main lobby and headed over to the area to check my P.O. Box, okay? As I come back from checking my P.O. Box, I notice a chick at the automated checkout machine but she's struggling to operate it. I say:

- "(smiling) That thing is hard to operate isn't it lol? It was freezing up on me just the other day (smiling)."

- She smiles back: Yes, omg, I can't even get this thing to work lol.

- (Tenacity goes over and shows her how to get it going), she says omg there it goes (laughing).

- I notice she has a U of M ID in her hand, we get to chit-chatting about U of M and she's telling me all about some class she's taking as we now walk out the door of the Post Office together, having a convo about U of M. As we get closer to the cars I add in some flirty overtone, something about how nice her dress is, or how pretty her smile is and how "shoottt we should hang out sometime". She would usually either laugh and say cool, we exchange numbers, and that's it....or she would say she's in a relationship or whatever, but nevertheless, I made a "friend" that day. I didn't get "rejected". I'm not going to see her again at the Post Office and she will say, "There's that creepy guy who hits on everybody!" She will say, "Oh, hey Tenacity (smiles) and do more chit-chatting."

That's it. No pressure. No "hitting" on anybody like a thirst bucket. Just a regular, everyday, normal conversation that has the potential to escalate into something else.

This is the SAME shyt I would do to a guy/new bro I'm befriending, instead of adding in a flirty overtone at the end (of course lol), I would ask the guy/new bro if he wants to hang out later at the local Sports Bar and watch the UFC fight tonight, and finish discussing some of the shyt we were just discussing.

Regular, everyday, normal, CONVERSATIONS. Like a normal person lol. Not some internet, cartoon character, fake PUA Scam Artist crap about chasing women down the street talking about how long her legs is. THAT can easily go very badly, like sexual harassment type of badly.

 

[devilkingx2]

What do you mean she "knows" why I'm approaching?

It's all about the place where the "conversation" is taking place because depending on said place, it's a proper WAY to go about it. If I'm just getting out of a church meeting, with the "holy spirit" flowing all through the building, I have no business running around in the lobby after church like a THIRST bucket hitting on every chick that walks by. That's crazy lol.

Instead, what I SHOULD be doing (as a "good Christian") is fellowshipping with my fellow church members....all of them....men and women.

- With the men, when the conversation is going good, I might offer to meet up with my "new bro" later on and catch the game or something.

- With the women, when the conversation is going good and she's attractive, then I add in some light "Christian" flirting, exchange numbers, and then proceed.

That's not being fake, it's called not being inappropriate based on the setting we are in. I have to go BACK to that church, I don't want my reputation damaged as some THIRST bucket.

well yeah, nobody has ever recommended that you cold approach at places that are important to you, you're supposed to do all your practice at random meaningless coffee shops, the only reason to do your approaches somewhere that's important to you is if you're already a master and want to have social proof there.

I don't think anyone would recommend running game somewhere that's familiar/important to you like your church (personally I wouldn't hit on girls at church, doesn't seem like a place to meet young people nor fun people)

That's it. No pressure. No "hitting" on anybody like a thirst bucket. Just a regular, everyday, normal conversation that has the potential to escalate into something else.

you're going to look thirsty no matter what if she doesn't like you and if she does like you, you'll look fine.

I remember a time at a party a girl complained that I came off too strong and was creepy when I didn't ask for her number, didn't ask her out, didn't say anything sexual, and basically just asked normal get to know you questions

point is, don't worry about seeming thirsty, the point of cold approaching is that you don't have to care what they think

Regular, everyday, normal, CONVERSATIONS. Like a normal person lol. Not some internet, cartoon character, fake PUA Scam Artist crap about chasing women down the street talking about how long her legs is. THAT can easily go very badly, like sexual harassment type of badly.

no random person on the street is going to care enough to seriously go after you for anything unless you cataclysmically fvck up.

 

[fastlife]

holy crap, she sounds like a horrible, evil person

The sniveling broken-up ex-boyfriend I was a year ago would agree. BUT, on the other hand, this girl is smart, beautiful (not my type, particularly), generous, a good conversationalist, carries herself well, altruistic, and has a convincing good girl front. Some guy is gonna buy the front and never have an inkling of what goes on underneath until it's too late and he wonders how the girl who loved him moved on like that. And this is hardly an anomaly--I used to think it was when I'd accidentally come across as nonjudgmental and oversexed enough to flip that algorithm--but at this point I can get any girl talking in a predictably similar matter if I have enough time with her.

Sure, and then there are the other five who ran a mile. Personally, I'm more interested in the kind of woman who isn't interested in games. Seems we all tell ourselves different stories because we want different things.

But to come back to the topic of the thread, men should definitely be approaching women [preferably warm approach in my case] ......and then screening.

LOL. That's exactly the type of attitude that gets stuck with the 'good girl' algorithm. Same girl. And she did run a mile--and I let her; if I had thought, 'Wow, maybe I'm too much of a player' I would've invited her to dinner & probably been totally left in the dark about the more--seedy--aspects of her personal past. When this girl is 27 or so and looking for a hubbie her front will be waterproof. You will never, never know.

You screen for the particular presentation you want. Her social circle won't know the real her; her best friends won't tell you about the real her; as soon as you slip something about wanting a chaste, loyal, whatever-else girl, you'll be stuck with the front.

That might sound harsh, but I was the same way. You hear about hypergamy, you hear about dualistic mating strategies but those are 'the other girls'...you'll find a nice one

In fact, humor me. I'm sure you know at least one girl who you think of as the ideal wife, girlfriend, etc. Next time you have a convo with her, say something like this:
"Girls don't know what makes them happy."
[They'll qualify].
"I know what makes girls happy."
[They'll invest].
"Puppies and icecream."
[They'll laugh].
"A boyfriend is just a big puppy, following you around. Pay attention to meee. Good boy, good boy--here have some sex; wash the car."
[And watch how they react].

Or the next time you meet a girl who says she has a boyfriend:
"A boyfriend? Gross. That's disgusting. He's probably super nice and follows you around. Not me--I'd be the guy who'd leave you home crying by yourself on a Friday night. Never answer calls."

 

[devilkingx2]

The sniveling broken-up ex-boyfriend I was a year ago would agree. BUT, on the other hand, this girl is smart, beautiful (not my type, particularly), generous, a good conversationalist, carries herself well, altruistic, and has a convincing good girl front. Some guy is gonna buy the front and never have an inkling of what goes on underneath until it's too late and he wonders how the girl who loved him moved on like that. And this is hardly an anomaly--I used to think it was when I'd accidentally come across as nonjudgmental and oversexed enough to flip that algorithm--but at this point I can get any girl talking in a predictably similar matter if I have enough time with her.

I honestly kind of disagree, I doubt the average girl is at the level where she would brag about causing guys suffering in her wake, that's some psychopath sh!t right there.

the addition of the having a "plan B" in every relationship almost makes it sound like causing pain and suffering is either part of the plan or part of the goal for her. I hope you didn't get serious with her lol.

I also think that only a dumb or inexperienced guy wouldn't be able to see her front for a front if she's gonna start bragging about how evil she is when you just met, girls like that don't exactly put up a convincing front when you get to know them, I feel bad for the guys who do fall for it though

 

[IAmNoob]

Bro you have no idea how pumped this thread made me. Cold approach will drastically change your life--and I don't just mean getting you laid (though that will eventually happen to)--but it prioritizes you to go after what you want, to act instead of being passive, to learn how to reframe rejection (until it doesn't affect you), to embrace acting in the face of fear and anxiety (until it isn't there anymore), to meet new people you wouldn't have previously, and to test the ranges of your personality in a way you can't or shouldn't with people you already know and already have a codified 'rules of engagement' with. This stuff will carry into all aspects of your life.

BUT getting good at is was by far one of the most painful things I've ever done--but I also had a huge ego (based on all the success I'd had with women through social circle) that would take a hit every time I got rejected.

You just have to stick with it--and trust the process, because there'll be sh1tty sets, sh1tty nights, sh1tty months (for me at least), before you start getting consistently good results.

I can give you a loose timeline of what the process looked like for me. I'd done some cold approaches throughout my life, with varying results & varying stages of sobriety, but none of these were really conscious cold approaches and they were done haphazardly over the course of years. I think it was almost exactly a year ago that I committed myself to getting good at cold approach & made a conscious effort, so that's where I'll start the timeline:

January-February: Went out maybe once a week solo. Could only open the easiest sets--guys who were obviously there by themselves, older people, people who happened to walk by. Had a girl or two open me. Some nights where I felt paralyzed and couldn't approach at all.

March-April: Went out 2-4 times a week. Had a couple wings that would come out. Started opening sets of girls but it usually felt like jumping off a cliff--and some nights I couldn't do it at all. Had a couple good convos that didn't really go anywhere. A lot of girls would ignore me when I opened them, which SUCKED. Guys would tool me from time to time. Had one or two really, really good nights. Pulled a ONS with a waitress at a bar. Couple make outs. Got a couple girls to meet up for Day 2's.

June-July: Went out 2-4 times a week. Could pretty much open every set. Did a couple really off the wall ones--like walking through a crowded restaurant to open a table full of 8 girls or going up to girls . Had a couple really epic nights. Had fewer really bad ones. Made 3 different girls bust out crying lol--wasn't always calibrated. Got cursed out a couple times. Got a lot of numbers, a lot of make outs, a few day 2's, a handful of almost-pulls that fell apart at the last minute. The younger girls would sh1t test me HARD about my age or if I was a player or whatever. But guys would generally recognize that I was kinda entitled to their girls--a lot of them started trying to kind of offer girls to me in exchange for approval.

August-November: Went out 1-2 times a week. Sometimes alone, sometimes with groups. On a good night, I could crush it--literally felt like a rockstar and would have the whole venue reacting to me. Think I had 2 or 3 SNL's & kept one of them as a regular for a month or so. Girls started opening me pretty consistently--just the vibe I gave off. Invited to several apartments. A lot of near misses and LMR/ASD. Started being singled out by owners of clubs, bartenders & bouncers, who would try to befriend me.

December-Now: Go out 1-2 times a week. If I meet a girl I like, even if she's in a group, I can pretty much guarantee that I can get her to move locations with me a couple times and pull (unless logistics suck). Almost all of my sets are good--but I've kind of come full circle and my game is a lot more under the radar. So many girls have seen me leaving the bar with other girls that they're usually super receptive. My reaction time's a lot better & I'm able to stay pretty calibrated. I don't do/or say as much crazy sh1t (which was fun lol) since usually I get full attention of the girls with much less effort.

So that's about 12 months. I've probably been rejected, ignored, cursed out, had girls run away ~300x? Something like that. But in the process I've developed ungodly confidence--I've dealt with every awkward situation so many times they aren't even awkward anymore; I have a much better idea of who I am. It's literally the best thing I've ever done for myself. But don't let anyone sugarcoat this--the first 4 months are BAD. Any insecurities you have will be thrown in your face. You'll get oneitis for girls who give you good reactions since you'll crave the comfort of not having to do this anymore. Then you'll get little glimpses of what's on the other side; then you'll realize commonalities about the good experiences and be able to replicate them. At this point, I love the game & once it's easier to go out and find a new girl than to put up with any bullsh1t and you know what true freedom, abundance, & self-reliance feels like there is no going back

Did you learn night game on your own or have followed some process?

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Well, I am a bigger fan of 'warm' approach. Just be open to meeting someone naturally in the course of your day. For example, today I stroll into the bank to re-organize my accounts. See a cute Asian lady at a desk, and head straight to her. Start chatting her up while she is doing the account. Once we'd finished asked her out for coffee. Sure enough, she came out for a coffee. Nothing will develop, from this particular incident, as I am on holiday at the moment. But you are enjoying the moment, and working on your skills. It's interesting to push yourself sometimes... to see what you can actually pull off.

 

[fastlife]

Did you learn night game on your own or have followed some process?

I'd done some stuff on my own before I really had any solid concept of game--I'd gone out and approached girls and had some sporadic successes but I thought PUA was lame & I was 'too good for it.' I'd had enough successes that I could rationalize that 'just being myself got girls.' Additionally, I'd always had pretty good social circles & didn't think cold approach was necessary.

Really, what got me into it was YaReally's comments on The Rational Male. A lot of his stuff seemed too over-the-top for my level at the time, but I also realized that a lot of my success had adhered to principles he mentioned. You can find his archive if you search for it, but I'm not sure it'd be the best place to start. He also linked a lot to RSD Youtube videos, which I would just watch & then try out some of the things they mentioned. For me, Julien was the most accessible.

When all the things they said would work, did, I just made a focus of going out more often and trying out one or two new things each night.

 

[Stephen89]

I've only read the first page.

Well done Konada for approaching. The first approach is very tough.

Cold approaching will amplify your confidence and social skills, there is no better way in getting confident with women and you will soon feel comfortable approaching women.

Some women will blank you, some will be rude, this is just part of it and some will reciprocate well.

This is one of the girls I approached two weeks ago, I should have kept plowing and messed it up at the end:

Me: excuse me, I just saw and just had to say hello to you
She: hello (she was smiling)
Me: So what you are doing today
Her: Going home (she kept smiling)
Me: ok good luck

 

[3agle 3yes]

Though I agree that being indirect is the way to go in day (AND night game), I also agree with Deesade on some points. The only time I go direct is when I see a woman I want to approach walking down the street and there isn't anything for me to work off.

The video he posted, does seem legit. And the guy is good (in the video), however if you are too direct your success ratio falls imo.

When you approach girls you want to communicate to them "I think you're physically attractive, buts that's NOT enough, I want more...".

I also disagree that women "know" why you're approaching them, at least with me anyway. For the most part they know in no uncertain terms that I am testing them.

Women generally are put off when they know you're trying to fvck them, they would much prefer if sex "just happened", rather than it being premeditated.

There's a time and place to be direct and that is AFTER you've gotten her number and AFTER you've got her to meet you.

If you're direct from the start, she will know that you want something from her and as soon as that happens the buying price goes up.