Is There a Such Thing as a Faithful/Loyal Woman?

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

I don't want to invite a jaded discussion, as I'm undecided on the above. Throughout my life, within the context of exclusive relations, I believed there were a few quality women with self-restraint and -control, but with a few recent experiences, I am beginning to believe that all women under the right circumstance, emotion, and environment can and will cheat on you. The cheating to which I refer may not be physical but also emotional (bonding with other men, etc).

To all the seasoned guys both in and out of exclusive relations: what is your opinion?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't want to invite a jaded discussion, as I'm undecided on the above. Throughout my life, within the context of exclusive relations, I believed there were a few quality women with self-restraint and -control, but with a few recent experiences, I am beginning to believe that all women under the right circumstance, emotion, and environment can and will cheat on you. The cheating to which I refer may not be physical but also emotional (bonding with other men, etc).

To all the seasoned guys both in and out of exclusive relations: what is your opinion?

I've had ones that were as loyal as the loyal man. Would literally take a bullet for you or give you their last dollars. The "hot girls" on sosuave chases all have a typical programming, where they
care about themselves first, and they are "in the moment" with respect to their feelings. All women do not use their "feelings" as their primary decision making input.

A lot of them will bond with other men though. Some of them are naïve to how it occurs, being friendly and exchanging a little personal info here and there, and eventually they are bonded more than the husband or boyfriend.

 

[resilient]

The problem is there are so many social media apps now. Forget the main ones like Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, or Instagram for a second. There are literally tons of apps that offer a community based approach around topic(s). For example, a meditation app that has groups on it that help others relate on issues like PTSD, GAD (general anxiety disorder), depression, etc.

Now here's where it gets really interesting when six degrees of separation become two....

You join a group chat with an alias name on the app, yet after a while, you get to know some of the regular chatters alias. From there, you can ask for friend request to social chatting apps like WhatsApp, Kik, etc. where you can share more personal information, pictures taken from a cell, videos, memes, etc.. Before you know it, you have an iFriend or e-orbiter as someone pointed out in another thread.

So if attention is male currency, you can see how much of a lure it is if their boyfriend or husband is too busy with work, school, networking events to give a g/f or spouse attention she craves.

Regardless of who develops the e-relationship first, there are a lot of lonely people out there. Forums are nice and all and I like the brotherhood we have here with the DJ forum, yet you can you see how personal access becomes extraordinarily personal when we're all literally chained to our smartphones and notifications that ping us as soon as soon one responds back in a social media app? I check SoSuave once or twice a day through a desktop browser, not an app.

We're literally strengthening bonds within our brains when we get that dopamine and endorphin neurotransmitter within our brain each time we get a ping from someone we value and respect. Conversely, if it's someone you don't like, like a plate you dropped, that can adversely cause anxiety/frustration.

 

[El Payaso]

No.

 

[bigneil]

A lot of them will bond with other men though. Some of them are naïve to how it occurs, being friendly and exchanging a little personal info here and there, and eventually they are bonded more than the husband or boyfriend.

I'm currently the other man. It's a depressing situation to find yourself bonded with someone who is unavailable. At this point, it seems to me that there is no amount of love, attraction or orgasms that will make her be loyal to me. I reached the promised land and she went back to her boyfriend. The closer you get to someone who is unavailable, the more it hurts. Though you might need to get as close as possible before realizing it's a dead end street.

Thus, on the heels of my ultimate romance with a girl who I gave her first orgasm(s), I must say no, there are no loyal women anymore. Not Millennials anyhow.

 

[The Duke]

I had one that was loyal to me. She was raised by her grandparents so she was brought up with old fashion values(pre 1960 era). She believed men were superior. She believed in supporting her man. She believed men should be the primary bread winner. She didn’t get on faKebook for validation. She kept her faKebook page for politics and animals. She also had only 5 sechsual partners and only one man she ever loved by age 40. All of her relationships she ever had with men were long term. The more men that women have sechs with, the harder it is for them to be loyal and bond properly. It’s the same reason prostitutes don’t have relationships with men.

She was a little needy/insecure but I have no doubt she was a highly loyal individual. One of few.

Now all of the other women I’ve been with……….loyal……hahahahhahahhaaa. There are too many tempatations/orbiters/options for such an emotional creature to stay loyal for an extended period of time. Social Media and texting facilitates a lot of it. In the old days before all of that, you really had to plan things and put forth some effort.

I just read today that for the first time in history, more people approve of “cheating” in a relationship than ever before. I have a hard time with it. My heart wants a solid girl and I want to believe that a successful long term relationship is possible. But my brain and experience tells me otherwise. You don’t get hurt when you don’t care. Just look at how Poonking and Deesade operate.

My best advice is if you want to take the chance, then do it. The most satisfying relationships I've had were with ones I put full trust in. Sometimes it ended bad and I got hurt. But I wouldn't trade any of those for the one night stands, or all the crazy things I've done with women I didn't have feelings for. Just realize nothing is guaranteed, it can all blow up in your face tomorrow. Just enjoy the good times and let the bad make you a better person. Don't let your fears of failure keep you from putting yourself out there. The only people that experience greatness in this world are the ones willing to take the risk to begin with. The rest are too afraid.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I believe you can have a woman who doesn't cheat on you.

It requires the following:

She must believe you're extremely high value. That will help to restrain her hypergamous nature.

You have to keep performing. There is no bank of built up equity.

She needs to believe you will drop her in a second if she is unfaithful.

The caveat is that these women as a very small percentage of the population. And I agree with Bigneil: good luck trying to find this in a younger woman.

-Augustus-

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

The more men that women have sechs with, the harder it is for them to be loyal and bond properly.

My own mother told me this a long time ago and I find it to be true amongst girls. Many men on here even say that they don't like virgins because of their neediness and stuff. But why is that?

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

To all you guys who stated "No":

If we begin with the premise that all women (hot millennials) will cheat, then when we enter exclusive relations (as you will have to eventually as most girls will not plate indefinitely), then you and she are truly not exclusive. Within this context, she is free to cheat and so are you, correct?

However, when you do cheat, and she discovers this, a woman with high self-esteem will leave, while a woman with low self-esteem will stick around. So you are perpetuating the following self-fulfilling prophecy:

Exclusivity ==> You Cheat ==> Woman with low self-esteem stays, and you don't want such a woman.

Exclusivity ==> You Cheat ==> Woman with high self-esteem leaves, and you do want such a woman.

or

Exclusivity==> You Don't Cheat ==> She Cheats on You.

How do you LTR guys who don't believe a "loyal woman" exists reconcile this?

 

[9Volt]

Trying to constantly control anyone with "game" etc. only shows you hold the lesser hand with neediness and are doing more of the investing into something that isn't meeting you half way or is wasting your time. People aren't robots that do whatever you say and function the way you want them to 100% of the time always. Machinery, robots etc. don't even function 100% of the time always the way we want them to.

Best to be whole and complete with or without someone and realize no matter how much you may improve for yourself others are going to do what they're going to do. if we all got our way 100% of the time life would stop being a challenge and would be boring. Even then we still wouldn't get our way 100% of the time always as everyone would get their own way 100% of the time.

if things don't work out between two people then it's best to just move on learning and growing in a positive direction.

plates only serve those who have nothing else better to do in life, need constant external validation and a constant source of security blankets when something doesn't go their way. wasting time and investing effort etc. in what you can't control rinse, wash, repeat is pretty much insanity.

 

[resilient]

9Volt, it's interesting that you bring up control, investing time and effort as well as validation. So perhaps for the sake of discussion, a successful DJ realizes all these things, that people can be fleeting... so perhaps... it is best to remain detached with emotions in check. We can't control the loyalty of others.

Regardless of gender, we have independent minds and free will. If we don't agree with a social contract and fail to compromise or reconcile, there's always the door.

We can't stop living and experiencing life believing that the idea that someone will develop multiple relationships outside an "exclusive" relationship. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. I think regardless of the way events take shape, it's best to continue living life and pursuing our own passions with our self-respect at the helm.

One of favorite quotes of all time is very simple "Fear is the mind killer..." ~ Dune.

We can only control our emotions, actions, and hopefully gather the wisdom to know the difference through past mistakes or the lessons learned vicariously through others.

We can however influence others by leading by example, but I believe that's the extent of it.

 

[zekko]

If we begin with the premise that all women (hot millennials) will cheat

In your first post you asked if any woman would cheat, if the circumstances were right. That is not the same thing as saying all women WILL cheat. Though some women are more likely to cheat than others.

Women are humans, and no human is perfect. Given the right temptation and set of circumstances, she may well cheat. You could say the same of a man. There is no guarantee that any particular woman will remain loyal. She may intend to be loyal, but people change over time, and 10 years from now things may be different.

That's why I won't get married. Why put your life into the hands of someone else, when you can't be sure what they will do with it. IMO relationships have shelf lives. You should enjoy it as long as it survives, just as you care for and maintain your car as long as it lasts.

But I don't think you should enter into an exclusive relationship if you have no intention of being exclusive.

 

[sazc]

I dont cheat, never have, so here's a count of one. I see no reason to potentially hurt someone. Exit the relationship and then start a new one.
(now give me my gold star dammit!)

I also dont think females understand how loyal men are/can be. I didn't until I got here and started reading. I think if more females realized this, they would view their relationships with more dept and more meaning. That's what it did for me.

 

[Von]

If you detach emotionaly in a ltr, she bound to cheat.

Your best safe "fidelity" is to remain the alpha frame guy she first meet and keep "love" alive

 

[zekko]

I also dont think females understand how loyal men are/can be. I didn't until I got here and started reading. I think if more females realized this, they would view their relationships with more dept and more meaning.

Not all men are so loyal, however. And if you believe what they say around here, women are mainly attracted to the disloyal ones. So make of that what you will.

 

[bigneil]

The idea that you can count on a woman to still love you in 5, 10, 20 years is a joke. You can't be sure they will love you in 5, 10 or 20 minutes these days. Ooh! They just got a text from their favorite ex.

 

[wifehunter]

Proverbs 31

Yes, I believe so. But, you'd have better odds finding the easter bunny!

I just keep my eyes open! I'm not going on any wild goose chases!

 

[bigneil]

I have had a cat for 3 years who is loyal. She cuddles up on my chest every time I sleep. It is true unconditional love (as long as I feed her). We ultimately want a woman who acts like an adoring cat.

 

[xstang77]

I guess it depends, my most recent ex had no fb or social media and was never on her phone once while we were together but, she was also fvcked in the head because her ex made her get rid of all those things, so while it was nice while it lasted I still paid for her past.

 

[Serenity]

Loyal as in will remain faithful no matter what happens? No, this is a fantasy.

Loyal as in will remain faithful as long as certain individual needs and criteria are met? Yes, these women exist in great numbers.

Are there exceptions? Yes, many.